sinkingaboutyou

[sinkingaboutyou]

— David Cronenberg, Consumed

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the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

[sinkingaboutyou]

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

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idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that

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No, we're not soulmates. This is not divine intervention. And this is most certainly not chance. I willed this. I knit the threads of fate myself until they spelled your name.

I love you intentionally. I love you with every bit of conscience I was born with.

— marsadist (via twitter)

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Wounds of the Earth

— by xis.lanyx

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— leechteethwrites

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EDWARD SCISSORHANDS

1990, dir. Tim Burton

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- Good Will Hunting 🎬

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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

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I crave a love so deep, the ocean would be jealous. - Pablo Neruda

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– K

[sinkingaboutyou]

Dear Halsey ✮⋆˙

I've been part of many fandoms ── started out with the Spice Girls. Couldn't go anywhere without my big ass shoes and space buns. Couldn't shut up about them ever. I wanted to be Ginger Spice so fucking bad I told everyone they should call me Geri "from now on" and turns out, "from now on" went on for years.

I then moved on to the Backstreet Boys, then Leonardo Dicaprio, Charmed, Britney Spears, anything Moulin Rouge. I wanted to be Rose and save Jack from the icy cold water ── wanted to be Satine and escape Paris with my poet lover ── wanted to hunt demons with the Winchester brothers ── wanted to be a Slytherin ── wanted to help Frodo destroy the ring -and make out with Legolas, I admit ── truth be told, I can't even think of a period in my life where I wasn't a fan or viscerally obsessing over something.

And somewhere along the way, right between my 1D and KPOP era, there you were ── and I never felt the same connection with an artist prior to this. I never looked at you as an idol or some mystic, unattainable creature. You came into my life precisely when I needed it and showed me it was okay to be myself and to own it. Badlands became the soundtrack of my life, I cut my hair short, dyed it a crazy color and felt more alive than ever. Still, I wasn't obsessing over you. I loved to watch videos and listen to your music but my relationship with you was never one you typically expect from a fan to their idol.

You make me happy. You make me feel like I can be anything, anyone and just roll with it without a care in the world. Your words heal me. Your voice soothes me and I have nothing but a genuine love and admiration for the human behind these words, the person behind the glitters and fantastic shows.

I was ✮⋆˙ so lucky ✮⋆˙ to see you in Paris on Februrary 2020. My first and only Halsey show, right before the world turned to shit and locked us all down. Camped all day just to see you front row, not only because I'm pocked sized and can't expect to see shit if I'm not literally standing front row, but because I felt like I needed to see you from up close. To see the human. The person I admire, not only a silhouette from afar.

That night was the most memorable, fantastic night of my entire life. I couldn't help but feel the intimacy, the closeness, the efforts you put to make every person in the crowd matter even for a second. It literally blew my mind. I don't think I ever properly recovered.

Today, I'm sad. I'm sad to see how poorly you're being treated by so-called fans. I was already upset months ago while witnessing people's behavior ── how they gave you shit for being silent, for the lack of music release, for promoting your make up brand instead of being on stage ── I was never one to interact or take part in any sort of hatred debate because I know I can vomit words to the speed of light and waste too much energy on people who aren't worth it. But still ── it was hard to digest, hard to read, hard to step back and take a deep breath so I wouldn't snap at people treating you like nothing but the King's Fool whose purpose is to entertain the crowd only.

Of course, knowing what you were going through during all of this only adds bitterness to this situation ── I wish people would see the human first. I wish people would realize you were always there for us, how you handwrote actual letters to some fans (god knows I would die for that) ── how you literally bled out on stage just so you wouldn't cancel a show when any mundane person would take days off work to deal with such a traumatic experience. I wish they would realize you never treated this, treated US as a job. You're one of the only artists out there who remains genuine and always speaks their truth ── even the ones that hurt so fucking bad ── and still, it never seems to be enough to these people.

I'm sad you regret coming back, because I was genuinely the happiest to see you active and excited to release some music again. But mostly, I was happy to have my favorite person back.

I want nothing more but for you to be happy and I hope you know, for every 10 disrespectful, ungrateful meanies, there's at least one person who loves you a hundred times more than they ever will.

If this letter ever finds you, just know this one thing ──

Je t'aime et je suis en vie grâce à toi ♡