sir-cupid

[sir-cupid]

"Truly?" Mateo stared at Elian, simply perplexed by this news. "You don't suit these odd jobs at all, really," he murmured, eyes studying them closely. "It seems so... ordinary," the male muse on, "and I shouldn't think you'd be linked to anything so average and.. and.. pathless." That was the only word he could think for what he meant and even then, it failed. "You just have this air about you, I don't know how to explain it, that you'd be too bored with something so mundane as choosing the pattern of wallpaper, of all things. Or moving boxes.. Painting, now there perhaps.." He stroked his chin some before shaking his head, decisively. "No, I simply cannot imagine you and wallpaper in the same setting, you must be laughing at me."

Mateo glanced at his own shoulder, distracted enough by the comment to wonder if he wore the exhaustion he felt so thoroughly this pure stranger could sense it. "At this point, I have to see it for myself," he agreed, at a loss though more bemused than anything. "Wallpaper.."

There it was again, that assuredness from Elian. The other stood there so matter-of-factly, so proud with an upward tilt of their chin on these words, as if they knew them to be fact and not a soul, even Mateo himself, would have them believe otherwise. "And what about the times you're wrong?" he ventured, soberly. "Because you must be wrong sometimes, yes?" Mateo wet his lips, a tad nervous under the other's rather direct stare. ".. and you could be so now.."

Elian's return jesting caused Mateo's shoulders to ease and that anxious queer feeling at his gut to ebb away. Sweet relief, to find them just as willing — effortlessly so, no misstep — to play into that macabre fantasy. Mateo's ex-therapist was the reason he got so enthralled with this strange genre; she had encouraged him to desensitize himself to experienced traumas, and was actually the person who had given him his first horror novella. "It is very intimate," he agreed, pleasantly surprised to see their thoughts would align so closely on something. Mateo would absolutely see such use in his work, which is often a labor of love on each piece, as something rather personal indeed. His lips curled into a quiet smile, as he considered what Elian would be best as. "Well see, now I'm unsure," he claimed, so amused by them, "because you pretend odd jobs as your calling, yes? Before I might have chosen something more luxury, but perhaps the door really is best, as you say they're so useful and one of odd jobs is nothing but useful." Yet, it was clear that he still couldn't picture Elian as something so average, no matter how useful it was. "Ah," he snapped his fingers suddenly, and pointed at them, "I have it — a hidden door, like one designed as a bookcase or part of a fireplace, yet one you touch the trigger just so, it sneakily opens to reveal the mystery beyond." Mateo looked quite proud of himself to think of it, because that seemed much more suitable for this person, indeed.

Sadly, even all the teasing and fun conversation could not weather Mateo from the terrible ache at his chest. He had done such a good job today, at keeping it at bay, until this moment. Now, it consumed him all over as if Brook told him for the first time, that he had moved on. His knees buckled and fortunately found the stool that Elian had since abandoned, staring gloomily at the floor.

"A big but indeed," he sighed the sentence, shoulders sagging. He looked every bit the forty-two year old that earned all those many premature grays. "I don't mean to trouble you," Mateo's eyes rose to Elian's briefly, as he cringed to be so pathetic on shielding himself, he wished he was stronger than this, "I know my personal life has nothing to do with what's brought you here today, but I shouldn't have brought that man up, I wish I hadn't." There was a mild tremor visible in the hand that then coursed through those salt-and-pepper locks, combing them back away from his face in some nervous tick. "I'm afraid it's that tale as old as time, for star-crossed lovers.. That author is seeing the person I came to Cardinal Hill for, and well.." Mateo laughed, humorlessly, and offered Elian a pitiful smile. "I waited a few decades too long, I suppose, so it's my own fault.. it's always my fault. I should have done something sooner, or anything at all, and now it's too late, and I've got to figure out how to exist around it still."

"I do not know if you are in love, Elian, but if not, I must caution you against it, my friend. It's the worst sort of pain, when it doesn't work out... Though I know people say it's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all... I wonder if those people have tried it."

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"Oh, do I seem unordinary then?" Elian teases, they could stand here for hours listening to Mateo go one, it seemed that he wasn't only charming in his own nature but also observant." Believe me when I say that I'm not laughing at you, when you travel as much as I do odd jobs just seem to fall into place. It allows me to live comfortably where I stay as well as the opportunity of getting to meet those that live there." It was true, it gave them a door to get to known the places better, to familiarize and study those around them. "If it had not been for those odd jobs, I wouldn't be here today in your lovely soon to be store."

" Rarely. "Elian comments quickly." When I am wrong then that's no ones fault but my own but in this moment I sense that I am right. You might not believe it Mateo but there aren't many such as yourself, So-" The witch looks around them, gesturing with their hands." You. It's a refreshing thing, someone so honest, so themselves. I take that with great consideration." They hum." And if there is a possibility that I am wrong, then feel free to turn me into a couch."

They can't help but chuckle, hiding their smile behind their hands." A secret door, that's clever." It surprised them just how on point the man was, if they only knew, maybe Mateo would be scared of them or maybe they would understand. Even so they would not ruin this found friendship that seemed to blossom, it was a precious thing, one that Elian wouldn't want to lay waste so soon.

" Ah matters of the heart." Elian knew those well, it was all starting to fall into place." I'm afraid that I know them well, I too fell in love once a upon a time." A memory now, of when it seemed the future were brighter, that there was a chance that it would be different for them." You can't. People tend to say that time heals all wounds but there are some that leave a scar that never truly heals, great love seems to be such a wound."

They step close to Mateo, blue eyes on his." I won't say that it will get better. The what if's will present especially on lonely days, but nothing can come from looking back into the past and wondering what you could have changed, because in truth there is nothing that can't be done. " Elian sighs." This person has moved on and you should allow yourself the grace to do so as well, it might not be the same kind of love, star crossed lovers as you've said but maybe it can be something good, different."

Elian stops for a moment considering their next words carefully." Take your time, slowly if needed be but don't waste your life on a fantasy Mateo. The talent that you present is unique, nourish it, create something for yourself, show yourself as you are to the world, don't hide. All those flaws that you might think that are pulling you back, they make you who you are and I for one think that you are quite brilliant."

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Luka to Luna

“Coming through, coming through-- move, out of my WAY--”

It would appear like a walking canvas was coming through the lobby, intentionally bumping and knocking into anyone that got in its way. But the stubby fingers crushing into its sides and the feet said otherwise as Sir Cupid carried the heavy haul forward. “Every year, someone’s got to be extra,” he grumbled to himself. 

He came to a stop in front of a young woman, moving the canvas aside some so he could peer up at her. “You Luna?” Morty knew it was her, it was his job to know. So without waiting, he promptly plopped the canvas end to the ground and pushed it over to her side of things, so she’d have to support it from there. Turns out, there wasn’t just one canvas but several.

The very front of which had obvious signs of contamination of suspicious brown smudges and fingerprints, the likes of which would most definitely point back to Morty himself. “That’s chocolate,” the cupid grunted, waving a hand dismissively as he pulled out the opened box of chocolates from his diaper. “I got hungry carrying all this stuff around, alright? Sue me.��� 

Sir Cupid chose to take one more chocolate before he passed it off to her. The man started waddling on his merry way before he stopped. “Oh!” Now he produced a crumpled card and gave that to her too. “Happy Valentine’s from Luka, blah.. blah.. blah....” Another dismissive wave as he headed off, chewing into the choclate piece. The card he gave was indeed from Luka, and said, ‘Hope you keep inspiring you, love Luka’.  @grcveycrds @hollowmuses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Daniel to Walter

“Yoooooooooohooooooo!”

Sir Cupid peered down from the light fixture he was currently clutching onto like a goblin, unconcerned with the view this tattoo artist would have. After all, they’d be looking up at a grown, overweight man with entirely too much hair wearing nothing but a diaper. Yeah, enjoy that, Morty thought smugly. 

As soon as Walter did look up from his station, the angel promptly dropped a pie down onto his upturned face. The ‘SPLAT’ was the most satisfying thing he heard all week! Morty cackled aloud and swung around on the light fixture, even as it started to show ominous signs that his weight was too much to bear. It flicked and slipped a bit, but the cupid was having himself too much of a laugh to pay attention.

And then the ceiling tile -- along with said fixture -- came crashing to the floor with Morty screaming at the top of his lungs. The squat man laid face down in the rubble for a moment before he finally groaned, lifted his head, and spit out some plaster. “Ow..” 

Head fully spinning, Sir Cupid gingerly picked himself up and blindly handed off the now crushed rose that had two candy bracelets wrapped around it-- with many missing candies on it-- to Walter. “Here.. here, take this,” he said faintly, shaking his head as dust flung from his hair, “Daniel says.. ah.. comes around, goes around.. okay, bye..” 

He got it mixed up. It was supposed to be ‘what goes around, comes around’, but he was concussed! Morty walked away in an unsteady line.  @walter-sanderson @hollowmuses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Axel to Nate

“I tell you, I don’t get paid ENOUGH for this!” Morty exclaimed as he flung open the door to Nate’s office and scrambled inside. “You!” The Cupid bellowed, pointing a stubby finger up at the man behind the desk, as if fingering him to be at fault. Because he was. Because it was his husband or whatever that put the old man through this. 

With a vicious upwards tug of his diaper, Sir Cupid stomped forward as he repeated, “YOU!” When he got to the desk, it was taller than he was so Morty proceeded to climb up into the chair to be on eye-level with the other man. “You better find yourself a different person for next year because I’m not doing this again,” he snapped, unamused as he smacked a bent card on the desk’s surface. 

Inside, there was a note from Axel: ‘Now you get best of both worlds, the husband and the cat, love Ax.’

The cupid then dug into his diaper with both hands as suspicious hiss and growl sounds started coming from inside, and he struggled with the animal. “Damn thing kept escaping its cage-- you don’t even want to KNOW where I’ve got claw marks,” Morty ranted on until he finally managed to produce what was giving him such a fuss.

It was a small white kitten with markings on its fur and a black color with a blank name slate. Its claws were quite firmly dug into the cushion of Morty’s hairy stomach. “Ahhhhh!!!!!” he hissed through teeth as he pried the animal from his skin and dumped it on the table. Not roughly but, he wasn’t very ceremonious with it either. “Take the damn thing!” He stuck a finger in Nate’s face as he growled, “NO MORE ANIMALS!” 

Snatching a piece of paper from Nate’s desk to use against the fresh scratches, Sir Cupid hopped down and headed from the room-- pausing only once at the door to shoot the man and his brand new kitty a death glare of disapproval.  @nate-graves @hollowmuses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Gilmore to Uriel

“Uriel,” Morty came stomping up to the archangel, completely uncaring about the differences in their ranks, “why in the hell is Death asking you to ‘bee their valentine’?” he demanded to know, as he read off the corny bee-themed Valentines�� pun from the very expensive wine bottle the note was attached to. 

Inside the little note, there was a scribble from Death that read, ‘I don’t know how this holiday works, am I doing it right?’ but Morty didn’t notice it. 

“I thought Mary and I talked to you about this before, you gotta mind who you’re getting involved with... One point it was dragons, and now you’re dallying with the underlord themself!” Morty rested a hand over his bare, hairy chest like he might be having some kind of heart attack at the thought of it. “Every decade with you, it’s something different. When are you going to get out of this reckless phase of yours and start acting your years?!” 

He slammed the wine bottle down on the counter, though fortunately, it didn’t crack. “Death giving an archangel something for Valentine’s Day... I’ve seen it all now!” Morty continued on, ranting to himself as he threw up his hands and waddled away.  @grcveycrds @moodboards-and-muses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Oliver to Gabriel

Sir Cupid climbed himself up onto a chair that was a bit too high, and got situated across the table from the other angel. “Don’t pull out the tea and crumpets today, Gabriel, I’m not here for a social visit...” he told the other somberly, “It’s business.” As if he was about to deliver some terrible news and not a Valentines Day gift. 

“So,” he yanked a sketched portrait from the diaper and squinted at it, “Oliver wanted you to have this... Hm... I dunno, I don’t see any likeness,” he critiqued, glancing up and down from the sketch to Gabriel, to compare the two. The cupid sat it on the table and slide it across so the angel could see for himself. “And this thing has been chafing my bum all morning..” grumbling, he then produced a snow globe from the bottom-area of the endless diaper. 

“Oh look at the little duckies,” Morty held the snow globe in both hands, pressing his face in against it as he observed the little ducks swimming around their pond. “The heart glitter ruins it,” he griped, complaining of how the so-called snow confetti was heart-themed. “I swear, if I never seen another damn heart, it’ll be too soon,” he shared with the fellow angel. “And don’t even get me started on pink and red.” 

The box of chocolates he got out next was crushed in on one side. Since Gabriel was a friend, Morty made at least an attempt to help dent it back straight before taking it upon himself to open the box. “You don’t mind, right?” asking as he took a couple to try for himself. “Well I’m off, pal. I’ll tell Mary you say hi.” He saluted Gabriel, adjusted the pack of arrows at his back, and blinked from the spot.  @hazymp3 @moodboards-and-muses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Matilda to Flynn

When the cupid popped up in front of Flynn, he appeared to be eating the remnants of a couple of fries that were quickly inhaled in, chewed up, and swallowed down. “Hey, you--” he held up what almost looked to be a bouquet arrangement but filled with McDonald’s food items, “this is yours.” 

He plopped it down before the person on the floor. His grubby hand stuffed into one of the fry boxes that was already half-empty, taking up several more fries. “These are too salty,” Morty told the guy, shaking the fries at him before promptly eating them anyway. “And that...” Here he pointed to one of the burgers, that had a clear bite taken out of it already. “Came that way. Wasn’t me. Must be their new fancy burger design.” 

Sounded legit.

Adjusting his bifocals, he read off the card, “To my favorite guy.” He made a face up at Flynn as he said sourly, “How sweet.” He flicked the card over at the guy. “That’s how it starts... First you’re her favorite guy, next you’re married four-hundred-and-eighty-nine years and she’s saying you’ve put on one too many pounds because it feels like you’re crushing her in the sheets,” he complained. “She’ll be on you about every little thing, mark my words.” He shook a finger in Flynn’s face in warning. “Every. Single. Thing.” 

Morty took a couple steps off, ready to walk away, before he paused to stuff his hand back into the fry box to take a couple more fries. “I’m taking these,” he shook the fries at him again and blinked out.  @grcveycrds @moodboards-and-muses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Walter to Daniel

Morty was in a hearty mood for this delivery in-particular. The grumpy old man was in full spirits, a smile on his face and everything as he waddled up to the half-vampire. “Dan, right? Sure you’re Dan,” he all but giggled, crooking his finger up at the other person, “come down here, will ya?” 

He even reached up to take in the front of Daniel’s shirt, reeling him down so that he would be in on Morty’s level of height. “I got something for ya,” he whispered to the man, delightfully wide-eyed and devious... Morty then produced a heart-shaped pie from the diaper that had MOST DEFINITELY been sat on and smacked it straight into Daniel’s face. 

With a cackle of glee, the cupid danced around, kicking his feet up. “It’s moments like now that makes it okay they don’t respect my retirement!” he sing-sang now, hopping back and forth until he seemed to get too winded and started coughing. Morty spent another moment or two nearly hacking up a lung before he straighted back up, voice raspy and chunky face reddened. “Almost killed myself on that one..” He then pulled out a candy pop ring. “Oh yeah, wait-- there’s a card in here too somewhere, one sec--” 

Morty put the candy ring in the side of his mouth to ‘hold’ as he needed both hands to wade through the side of his diaper until he found said card, and handed it over to the pied man. “Oh--” he took the candy ring from his mouth and gave that too. “From Walter. Enjoy~.”  @hollowmuses @moodboards-and-muses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Irvin to Trevor

“Look at this,” Morty said as he waddled through the door, shaking what appears to be an empty photograph album, “this Irvin kid sent you an empty album!” He snorted, flipping through it and nosing around, not finding a single picture in it and having zero idea it was a gift intended for the recipient to fill it with pictures he’s taken. “What a thoughtful gift,” he rolled his eyes, before tossing it up onto Trevor’s desk. There was a message on the very back that said 'FOR OUR FUTURE MEMORIES TOGETHER  💕’. Something Sir Cupid failed to catch.

“Think some of these wilted but,” he scoffed, “that’s not my fault they don’t send you fresh flowers..” Actually, they had been perfectly fresh and fine when Morty got them. But as the man pulled out the vase of Oleanders from his diaper-- which was very cluttered and obviously not well-ventilated-- it made sense why a few of the pretty flowers had wilted themselves.

Surprisingly, as he came forward, he rested the vase delicately on the man’s desk and made a half-assed attempt to fix the few wilted flowers. “They just need.. a little floofing, y’know..” Morty fluffed at them a bit, adjusting the stems, until he thought the arrangement looked much better. “See? Good as new!” he stated proudly, almost beaming. Unfortunately, all he managed to do was take a thoughtfully arranged Oleander bouquet that Irvin crafted himself, and made it a haphazard mess of overgrowth. “Heh, heh! And you got that for free,” the cupid declared, yanking his diaper up into place before heading out. @trevormallardi​ @moodboards-and-muses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Nate to Axel

A sudden flash zipped through the open doorway to Moore’s Guitars and crashed into an entire wall full of said instruments. Morty found himself upside-down for a brief, struggling moment as he kicked his feet and grunted, vigorously wiggling around until he was finally able to plop over and roll himself into a seated position. “Who put these things here?! Could’a killed myself,” he grumbled, punching one of the already broken instruments away from him as he struggled to get up from the pile. 

An array of distorted musical notes seemed to follow as Morty jostled himself to feet. 

Now, the short, plump man zeroed in on the ridiculously tall individual. “What the hell--” Morty pushed his glasses inward, as if to see better, as he did a comical once-over of the tall bean-string in front of him from foot to head. The man completely dwarfed him! “What are you, a giant?” he snapped, then shooed Axel back a few steps. “Get on back, I don’t wanna be towered over, I’m try’na work here, damn you,” the man continued to grumble.

He patted his gray hairy chest in several areas, as if trying to remember what he was there to do. “Ah--” he remembered, then digging into the oversized diaper he wore. Seconds later, he somehow managed to withdraw a very finely made and specially designed heart-shaped guitar from its depths and proceeded to drop it. Twice. “Damn it,” Morty squatted, grabbing it off the floor and shoved it at the giant, “hold that, will you? Now..” He looked at the card. “Nate sends his regards and love, yada-yada, you get the picture.” 

Morty started to walk on, but stopped. “Oh, yeah--” The old man suddenly dug into the butt area of his diaper and produced several buttonless shirt. “Here, he got you these too. Mazel tov.” The shirts were flung carelessly into Axel’s face and with that, Sir Cupid disappeared.  @hollowmuses @moodboards-and-muses​

[sir-cupid]

One-Shot: Dorian to Eoin

A fat, squat little man suddenly appeared from thin air with a deflating sound that-- in all honestly-- resembled the fart from a whoopie cushion. He was, mostly, naked save for a gigantic adult diaper strapped about his waist and a harness of heart-shaped arrow tips at his back. Every bit of him was covered in gray hairs, and his features drooped in well-worn frown lines. 

“You--” Morty paused, pushing the bifocals up his nose as he squinted at the card, “Eoin?” Without missing a beat, he slapped the card into the other man’s face, its corny ‘I AM YOURS, NO REFUNDS’ pun printed across the front visible briefly. “Dorian sent these,” he rasped. 

Morty dug down into his diaper, peering inside of it as he pushed this and that aside, for a whole minute until finally withdrawing a basket of fruit punch-related items. It seemed this diaper was of some magical nature, because it didn’t seem likely that such a bulky thing could be inside. The cupid waddled forward and proceeded to drop it unceremoniously at the cambion’s feet, several of the soda bottles bouncing out and rolling around. “It’s a fruit punch bouquet...” Morty scowled, waving his hands down at it as he added a mocking, “ta-daaaaa..” 

With a disgruntled huff, he yanked his diaper up a bit more snugly and muttered something under breath about ‘couples and their weird kinks’ as Sir Cupid wandered away-- he had far too many other deliveries to stick around.  @angstfactory @moodboards-and-muses​

[sir-cupid]

Oh God... Not another year.