sirbartholomew

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Here we go, again

I am not the greatest when it comes to writing or anything consistent.  But I’m thinking it might be time I start trying to write on the regular.  If nothing else, it’ll be entertaining.

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Morning Musings

It is a chilly spring morning as I walk along the trail with my music coming out of the earbuds firmly seated in my ears. It is early in the day... the sun has yet to fully crest the mountains. I left the hotel long before the sun was even scheduled to be up, taking my truck up in the hills on the other side of the freeway, music playing softly out of the speakers as I navigate the road. Once I get to my destination, I park, pulling out the backpack that I had packed the night before with supplies: A lunch sack with some sandwiches and several bottles of water, as well as a couple of bottles of Gatorade. There was a smaller pouch hanging below, where I could put my pullover and sweat pants as it started to get warmer once the sun fully rose in the sky. I had all the supplies I would need for the time I was out, locking the truck, I turned on the light I brought with me, securing it to the strap to my backpack and started my hike. As I walked along, I could smell the damp earth, it had been raining for most of the week prior to my arrival. The smell of sage was strong in the air as I moved past several sage bushes. I paused, seeing something out of the corner of my eye. Turning, I noticed a glowing pair of eyes near the ground and I stopped as the beam of my flashlight cut across a small ground squirrel. I watched for a few minutes until the squirrel bounded away and I grinned. I continued my hike, taking my time and watching where I was going. Even though I was very familiar with the trail I was hiking, it would not be good for me to have a misstep and then have to call for emergency services to come and get me off the mountain. After about an hour, I had reached my destination: The top of Leppy Peak. I settled my hiking gear on the ground, taking off my pullover. I reapplied sunscreen, it would not do for me to get burned while out. Settling next to my gear, I pull out the camera I brought with me, looking over the landscape, : The shadows cast by the mountain over parts of the ground just below the slope, the sun reflecting off chrome parts or mirrors on the vehicles traveling the freeway, the sun as it is starting to make its way over the crest of the mountain. I work on getting the camera set up on the tripod to snap multiple pictures as the sun starts to rise further into the sky. Once the camera is set up, I adjust the focus, then set to work on the pictures. I know that a fair chunk of the pictures will not be used, however that is a task I will focus on once I am back to the hotel room. Once the sun is up, I switch out SD cards and turn my focus on the vegetation, catching the different colours: The browns, the greens, and some lavender. It is peaceful as I continue to snap photo after photo. I swap out cards yet again, and set the camera down, getting into the backpack for a sandwich. I stretch out on the ground after finishing the sandwich, the plastic baggy tucked firmly into one of the outer pockets for disposal later. I fish my mp3 player out of my pocket, switching playlists to something with a little more edge to it. I look at my watch, and return to taking pictures for a few more minutes. Not long after, I pack up my gear and head back down to the truck. I stow the gear, putting the SD cards into the case and storing them in the outer pocket of my backpack. I hook the jack up to my mp3 player, and switch it over so the music that is playing comes directly from the player. I turn the truck back towards the hotel, and make my way back. I turn left onto Wendover Boulevard and make my way down the road, my mind already back in the room, where I left you sleeping. You had agreed to come out with me, even though it was something of a working trip for me. I pull into the parking lot, shutting off the truck, grabbing my gear and locking up. I slide the key card into the access slot on the door, pulling it open as it buzzes. Making my way to the elevator, I switch the key to the other hand, resettling the backpack so it does not slide. Pressing the button, I wait for the car to arrive and step in, selecting the correct floor. The doors open again and I walk down the corridor, most doors having the “Do Not Disturb” tag hanging from the handles, a few have muffled noises of people getting up and starting the morning littering the corridor. Stopping in front of the door to the room, I smile to myself at the thought of you on the other side, sleeping. Chances are you have sprawled across the bed, taking up the whole thing as I was no longer there. I slip the card into the lock and as soon as the green light appears, I quietly push open the door, muffled daylight greeting me as the curtains are still pulled against the sunlight. I shut the door as soft as possible, kicking off my shoes and setting my gear down next to the desk. Pulling out the used SD cards from that morning, I set them on the desk next to my laptop and turn. As predicted, you sprawled across the bed. Chuckling, I strip out of the hiking clothes, heading for the bathroom. Grabbing a washcloth, I quickly wash off the dirt from the morning's excursion, and I pull my sleep shorts back on before shutting off the light. I exit the bathroom and quietly make my way over to the side of the bed I sleep on, watching you for a moment, before gently sliding in, guiding you to where you always sleep.... with your head over my heart. I place a soft kiss to your forehead, smiling as you move closer, and my arms move to their customary spots, across your shoulders and back, as my eyes slide closed... to nap with you.

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Every time

Reblog if you'd stay up all night, just to talk someone out of suicide

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Smooth Operator (Taken with Instagram)

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Was left on my desk one day. Thanks Bruce for the gift! (Taken with Instagram)

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CSI is really good at setting up arcs - The Miniature Killer is the most famous one of them all.

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Sent to me in an e-mail

Jim Neugent A Coach In Mena , ARK Writes To ABC Network Jim Writes: My name is Jim Neugent. I wrote to ABC (on-line) concerning a program called ‘THE PRACTICE.’ In last nights episode, one of the lawyer’s mothers decided she is gay and wanted her son to go to court and help her get a marriage license so she could marry her ‘partner.’ I sent the following letter to ABC yesterday and really did not expect a reply, but I did get one. My original message was: ABC is obsessed with the subject of homosexuality. I will no longer watch any of your attempts to convince the world that homosexuality is OK. ’ THE PRACTICE’ can be a fairly good show, but last night’s program was so typical of your agenda. You picked the ‘dufus’ of the office to be the one who was against the idea of his mother being gay, and made him look like a whiner because he had convictions. This type of mentality calls people like me a ‘gay basher.’ Read the first chapter of Romans (that’s in the Bible); and see what the apostle Paul had to say about it….. He, God and Jesus were all ‘gay bashers’. What if she’d fallen in love with her cocker spaniel? Is that an alternative life style? (By the way, the Bible speaks against that, too.) —Jim Neugent Here is ABC’s reply from the ABC on-line webmaster: How about getting your nose out of the Bible (which is ONLY a book of stories compiled by MANY different writers hundreds of years ago) and read the declaration of independence (what our nation is built on), where it says ‘All Men are Created equal,’ and try treating them that way for a change! Or better yet, try thinking for yourself and stop using an archaic book of stories as your lame crutch for your existence. You are in the minority in this country, and your boycott will not affect us at ABC or our freedom of statement. Jim Neugent’s second response to ABC: Thanks for your reply. >From your harsh reply, evidently I hit a nerve. I will share it with all with whom I come in contact. Hopefully, the Arkansas Democrat Newspaper will include it in one of their columns and I will be praying for you. - -Jim Neugent- - Note: Wouldn’t Satan just love it if people stopped using the Bible for a crutch? Please resend this to everyone in your mailbox. Jim Neugent I wonder if the person from ABC considered how many people would eventually read this e-mail! Please, if you are a Christian, pass this on to others so they may be aware. WE NEED TO SAVE WHAT WE HAVE LEFT OF THIS COUNTRY! ____________________________________________________________ For starters, I live in Utah and have SEVERAL friends who are Mormon (LDS, whack-a-loons from Utah,you pick the identifier you know best).  I’ve come out to 1 person from that group because I was in a position where I needed someone to talk to, and she’s the best person I know.  We actually have a lot in common in terms of childhoods and what not, though she’s older than me by a few years. This e-mail was sent to me via one of the others in the group that I am friends with… who has no clue I’m gay.  And you wonder why I haven’t said anything. Now, I think the webmaster (if all parties are to be believed as properly identified) went about the response the wrong way.  That was an inappropriate knee jerk reaction to someone’s concerns.  Right or wrong at how Mr. Neugent believes, no one deserves to be belittled like that. As for Mr. Neugent - America doesn’t need “saving”.  Folks like you need to learn to be more tolerant.  If you stop and think about it…. folks like you are the reason America IS “going to hell” because you refuse to accept that there are people out there who are different than you - and that it’s not a crime to be different.  Could you imagine how life would SUCK if everyone was JUST LIKE YOU?  If everyone liked the exact same things you did, dressed like you, walked like you, talked like you, thought like you. Holy shit!

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i just love her so much.

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I stopped smoking back in 1997.

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Patrick Stewart would like you to stop your misogynistic bullshit. Thank you.

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KISSING: Kissing can burn around 120-325 calories an hour, or around 2-5 calories a minute. Engaging in long make-out sessions with your partner is not only good for your relationship; it is also good for your waistline. A 10 minute make-out session with your partner each morning and each…

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For Googlemouth.

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One teachers approach to preventing gender bullying in a classroom

“It’s Okay to be Neither,” By Melissa Bollow Tempel

Alie arrived at our 1st-grade classroom wearing a sweatshirt with a hood. I asked her to take off her hood, and she refused. I thought she was just being difficult and ignored it. After breakfast we got in line for art, and I noticed that she still had not removed her hood. When we arrived at the art room, I said: “Allie, I’m not playing. It’s time for art. The rule is no hoods or hats in school.”

She looked up with tears in her eyes and I realized there was something wrong. Her classmates went into the art room and we moved to the art storage area so her classmates wouldn’t hear our conversation. I softened my tone and asked her if she’d like to tell me what was wrong.

“My ponytail,” she cried.

“Can I see?” I asked.

She nodded and pulled down her hood. Allie’s braids had come undone overnight and there hadn’t been time to redo them in the morning, so they had to be put back in a ponytail. It was high up on the back of her head like those of many girls in our class, but I could see that to Allie it just felt wrong. With Allie’s permission, I took the elastic out and re-braided her hair so it could hang down.

“How’s that?” I asked.

She smiled. “Good,” she said and skipped off to join her friends in art.

‘Why Do You Look Like a Boy?’

Read More

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Santa Claus Is Watching You!

(This is a rant. You’ll probably be offended. Fair warning has now been given.)

Let me just give you a few of my thoughts on Santa Claus. Okay, really, it’s just one.

He’s creepy as hell.

Now I know you’re probably thinking, “What the hell is wrong with you, Liv? Santa is awesome! He’s this really jolly guy who, once a year, brings presents to you if you’ve been good. What’s so messed up about that?” Really? You can’t see where there are problems here?

First of all, we’re talking about a guy who knows when you’ve been naughty or nice. You know the song, “He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows if you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.” Anyone read 1984? Santa Claus is the original Big Brother. Somehow, either through advanced technology, magic, or a combination of the two, he not only knows what you’re doing all the time, he uses that information against you to force you to act in a specific manner that he finds acceptable.

It’s worse than Communist Russia.

Here is a guy who, through sheer force of will (be that jolly or no), has managed to create a small army of lookalikes to confuse and “encourage” children to behave. He uses deceit and threats via his “helpers” to get you to do what he wants.

If you don’t do what he wants, you’re punished. Traditional to Western cultures, he leaves you with a lump of coal, but, in some places, a demon comes in and snatches the child away to take said bad child back to its demon lair for a Christmas meal, and I’m not talking turkey here, kids. Santa knows this demon exists and does nothing about it despite his self-proclaimed love of children. If you love children, even if they’re bad, do they really deserve to be demon food? No, I think not. That’s just creepy.

Speaking of loving children, Santa Claus is a grown man who sneaks into your house with a bag full of children’s toys and candy that he then leaves as the rewards (read bribes) to your children for being good. If any other grown man dressed up in what sort of looks like silky pajamas, rode in on a sleigh pulled by cute, fuzzy animals, and then tried to give a child some toys and candy for doing what he wanted them to do, he’d be locked up faster than you could say, “Detective Olivia Benson, NYPD.”

Here’s a guy who has made breaking and entering into every single house in the world on a specific day each year not only acceptable but expected with anticipation. Not only are we excited about it, but we leave him milk and cookies to encourage him and to keep him fat. Let’s face facts here, the amount of calories that man must burn every Christmas Eve would have to be enormous. There’s no way he could be that round around the middle if he didn’t eat all those cookies and all that milk. We’re basically encouraging an elderly man to remain obese, which is creepy in a whole different way.

That aside, I should also point out that he has a freaking Compound at the North Pole. A compound, you know, like Waco? It’s this self-contained place that no adult knows how to get to, and a very few amount of children get to visit, that is full of small elven people that spend all year making toys. The place is every child’s dream land. Michael Jackson did that. We remember what happened there, right?

Also, I want you think about this. The elves make toys all year long in preparation for Christmas Eve, which means they have to have super advanced information on what’s going to be a popular toy that year and what children are going to be good and bad because that kind of inventory creation really can’t be guess work. This tells me that Santa has insider information, and he probably has figured out a way to stack the market to make certain toys go into production and be popular. Therefore, Santa is not only an evil businessman, but he created the Great Tickle-Me Elmo Must-Have’s of a few years ago. I hate him more now.

Santa is creepy. You follow me?

Photo can be found here.

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Alright guys, this is the last time I’m going to bring this up. Please copy and reblog this image as much as possible. Hopefully we can get people’s attention and stop Congress from approving this disastrous piece of legislation.  Thanks!

Direct link to the image: http://stevelec.vip.warped.com/images/SOPA-Trial%20expired%20copy.jpg