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Im thinking about time travel aus but technoblade accidentally going back in time and thus he goes to phil automatically for help but phil is like. Literally his age rn. And doesnt KNOW techno yet and is also not even near “angel of death” type of skills yet hes literally just a Guy with some quiet potential so technos at his doorstep like “PHIL HELP” and Phils like “…..do i know you?? I dont think we’ve met- OH DONT CRY HOLD ON HOLD ON HEY-“

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So if we all start drinking Dr Pepper does that lend us the demons?

Yknow what hell yeah. Everyone drink Dr Pepper NOW!!!

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Where are these demons and do you think id be able to make a deal with them.

- missiled⁴ anon

MISSILE STRIKE UPON YE

Theyre yours now. Im throwing them at you. Throwing them through your window. One million words be upon ye

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GUYS IM SCARED

what do they feed you i swear your brain chemicals are on speed. dont say doctor pepper.

FUCK i was GENUINELY gonna say that when i saw the start of this ask i was gonna be like haha dr pepper and then you say NO dr pepper and my hopes and dreams were CRUSHED!!!

Hmm. I dunno. Dr Pepper

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I just got tea made man are you telling me i have to get dr pepper to get AU Maker(tm) Brain

- missile³ anon

MISSILE STRIKE UPON YE

my au maker tm brain is a curse afflicted upon me by the demons not a side effect from Dr Pepper. However dr pepper could be my muse perhaps

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Gnawing at the walls i love the idea of Techno struggling to find company as the oh so important heir to the throne, he hates how everyone treats him as the prince he hates being treated both like glass and like a angry dog thats about to snap but crimeboys bicker with him and treat him Normally and arent scared of his title, they’re just hesitant at first bc they think theyre gonna get in trouble (wilbur is mostly like “please don’t imprison my brother. If you do then i will insult you to your face right now and then you’re gonna have to ALSO imprison me”) and Techno just finds it so relieving and funny bc crimeboys arent trying to get anything out of him they arent trying to rise in their ranks or gather his favor at most theyre just trying to bully him into not dirtying his clothes so much when going to training because its tedious techno do you know how much dirt gets stuck in your fucking carpet? and phil being the king later on notices techno being happier and is like “oh? What did i miss” and techno is like “i made friends :)” and then he goes back to his room and walks in on Tommy waving around one of his swords pretending to be a cool warrior while Wilbur sits as his halfhearted cheering audience and its immediately YOU DIDNT SEE ANYTHING I DIDNT TOUCH YOUR SWORD and TECHNO YOURE BACK EARLY and techno is just. Very fond

Thinking about prince!techno making friends with servants!crimeboys because its basically just the dynamic of “i dont CARE that youre royalty, stop leaving your CAPE on the floor” “thats. You literally cannot talk to me like that” “im so sorry your highness. What he meant is that you need to PICK YOUR SHIT UP-“ “TOMMY.”

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what do they feed you i swear your brain chemicals are on speed. dont say doctor pepper.

FUCK i was GENUINELY gonna say that when i saw the start of this ask i was gonna be like haha dr pepper and then you say NO dr pepper and my hopes and dreams were CRUSHED!!!

Hmm. I dunno. Dr Pepper

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Id like to think that at some point into the beginning of their friendship techno walks in on them going through his jewelry and stuff and they manage to distract him and put it neatly back and seemingly almost get away with it but then right before theyre about to flee the room because of “chores” techno is like “by the way can i have that necklace back. Not that i mind gifting you it but i feel like it doesnt really suit you?” and both Tommy and Wilbur freeze in realizing Wil forgot to take off a necklace

Thinking about prince!techno making friends with servants!crimeboys because its basically just the dynamic of “i dont CARE that youre royalty, stop leaving your CAPE on the floor” “thats. You literally cannot talk to me like that” “im so sorry your highness. What he meant is that you need to PICK YOUR SHIT UP-“ “TOMMY.”

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Wilbur: he didn’t mean it. He’s so sorry

Tommy: no im not. And while im at it can you also stop rolling around in the fucking dirt or whatever you do every time you step outside because in getting real tired of finding dirt all over the floors-

Wilbur, slapping his hands over tommys face: HE DOESNT MEAN THAT. HES SO APOLOGETIC RIGHT NOW.

Techno, on the edge of tears from trying to not laugh:

Thinking about prince!techno making friends with servants!crimeboys because its basically just the dynamic of “i dont CARE that youre royalty, stop leaving your CAPE on the floor” “thats. You literally cannot talk to me like that” “im so sorry your highness. What he meant is that you need to PICK YOUR SHIT UP-“ “TOMMY.”

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Thinking about prince!techno making friends with servants!crimeboys because its basically just the dynamic of “i dont CARE that youre royalty, stop leaving your CAPE on the floor” “thats. You literally cannot talk to me like that” “im so sorry your highness. What he meant is that you need to PICK YOUR SHIT UP-“ “TOMMY.”

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they're just so loud (january 2021)

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had a vision earlier of ctechno sitting on the porch of his house in the arctic with a loaded crossbow alert and ready and tommy comes up and techno aims it at him on instinct and tommy is like I JUST CAME TO WISH YOU A HAPPY EASTER YOU FUCKING FREAK I THOUGHT WE COULD SPLIT A CHOCOLATE EGG AND FIGHT ABOUT RELIGION WHAT'S WITH THE CROSSBOW DICKHEAD and techno lowers the cross bow and is like Oh tommy what's up. Myyyy bad i thought you were the easter bunny. and tommy's like YOU THOUGHT. YOU THOUGHT WHAT? and techno's like Yeahhh that guy comes and leaves eggs everywhere and wrecks my framerates. Every single year. But I'm ready for him this time. and tommy's gobstopped and goes TECHNOBLADE. TECHNOBLADE HINESTLY ANSWER ME HERE. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE EASTER BUNNY? and techno's like I believe what i see and what i see are EGGS and DROPPED FRAMERATES, Tommy. and tommy's like OKAY EVEN IF THE EASTER BUNNY WAS REAL WHICH IS FUCKING ABSURD BY THE WAY ARE YOU HONESTLY GONNA SHOOT HIM MAN? COULDNT YOU JUST PICK UP THE EGGS LIKE A MAN? and techno's like Nah tommy that's how they GET YOU man. He's gonna go to your house and lag out your world and now it's YOUR problem? Not to mention, absent father of the year over there. and tommy's like I JUST DONT THINK HE'S REAL, TECHNOBLADE. and techno goes Yeah that's what phil said about santa and look how that went. and tommy stares at him in horror and shouts DID YOU KILL SANTA CLAUS, TECHNOBLADE? and technoblade shrugs and says Those elves were not bein paid properly AND i heard through the grapevine santa was stealin more than milk and cookies AND he gave me coal insteada Wither skulls. and while tommy stares on in horror the sound of munching on a carrot comes up behind him and technoblade raises his crossbow and shoots and wilbur screams and drops his carrot and tommy yells FIRST SANTA CLAUS THEN THE EASTER BUNNY NOW FUCKING WILBUR, TECHNOBLADE? and techno goes Well it's not my fault he was actin like the easter bunny. and wilbur goes "EATING? EATING A FUCKING CARROT IS ACTING LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY? WAIT ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL THE FUCKING EASTER BUNNY?" and techno reloads his crossbow and goes Ohhh my god im not goin over this again. and tommy goes WIL HE'S FUCKING CRAZY HE THINKS THE EASTER BUNNY'S REAL AND WANTS TO SHOOT HIM. BECAUSE OF LAG. and wilbur scratches at his neck and is like "um to be fair the easter bunny is real. though i dont know why you'd want to shoot him he's literally nice" and tommy's like YOU HAVE GOT TO BE HAVING A LAUGH. and wilbur's like "HE'S A NICE GUY MAN I DUNNO" and techno's like Okay then why does he keep laggin out my are. and wilbur goes "MAYBE IT'S THE 100 FUCKING MOBS YOU KEEP. IT'S NOT EVEN EASTER MAN" and techno's like Heh? and tommy's like WOT. and wilbur goes "easter was yesterday." and tommy goes NO THAT WAS 4/20 I SPECIFICALLY REMEMBER BECAUSE WE GOT RANBOO REALLY HIGH TO SCARE HIM.

okay i just found this draft from the day after easter. the entire end joke was going to be that wilbur knows the easter bunny is real is bc they shared one beautiful night together. hope you enjoyed.

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Oh, the horrors! The terrors, if you will! Not to be confused with the demons, who i love oh so fondly, in the sort of way you love an annoying little sibling thats out to get you

Yall ever grt so stressed over a unfinished fic that you get physically sick and have to sit curled up into a ball for a solid minute

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Yall ever grt so stressed over a unfinished fic that you get physically sick and have to sit curled up into a ball for a solid minute

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say it with me: we win these

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Pigling techno seeing play fighting as a bonding experience vs avian wilbur lowkey fearing for his life every time techno picks him up (avians having hollow bones, lightweight wilbur = techno lifting him over his head and literally throwing him)

Thinking about twinsduo but not in any specific au just with techno making a random battle cry and tackling the hell out of wilbur while wil screams bloody murder bonus points with tommy watching and drinking soda obnoxiously loud through a straw

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The cain instinct the vibe of “WHAT DID I DO” “YOU LOOKED AT ME FUNNY” “WHAT” and also Tommy being blissfully unaffected by the shenanigans, Tubbo’s standing next to him like “should we- should we help him” “nahhh”

Thinking about twinsduo but not in any specific au just with techno making a random battle cry and tackling the hell out of wilbur while wil screams bloody murder bonus points with tommy watching and drinking soda obnoxiously loud through a straw