siren-of-the-docks - Tumblr blog

[siren-of-the-docks]

Terrible Pick-Up Lines Meme

"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."

"Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."

"Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"

"Hey, want to play house? I could be the door, and you could slam me all night long."

"How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"

"I do floors, doors, windows, and you."

"I wish you were a screen door, so I can slam you all day long."

"If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"

"Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me?"

"If I was a skateboard and you were a ramp, I would grind you all night."

"If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you."

"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"

"I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!"

"Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked."

"Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."

"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, 'Fuck it'."

"My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."

"Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw."

"That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."

"Wanna play some football? We can both be skins."

"What are you doing tonight? Besides me?"

"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."

"You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you."

"You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside of you."

"You must not have air conditioning because I'm your fan and you're turning me on."

"You remind me of my pink toe; you're small, you're cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight."

"You wanna go skinny dipping in my water bed?"

[siren-of-the-docks]

Send me “Kiss” Plus a body part and my Muse will react to yours kissing them there

Can be SFW or NSFW

[siren-of-the-docks]

With Atticus arching, Iri could feel himself going even deeper into his lover, making him call out in intense pleasure. Oh god, Atticus just felt so good and hot, and Iri wasn’t quite sure how long her would last, either.

“N-Neither can-- Ah-ha..I!” He panted hotly against Atticus’s neck, before he dived in for another hard kiss. His tongue stroking heatedly against his lovers lips. He continued to pump Atticus’s cock as he thrusted, his pace speeding up. And before he knew it, hot white pleasure surged through his entire body as he came with a groan. 

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[siren-of-the-docks]

It felt so good to be able to release and vent his negative feelings into his music. It helped calm his mind and relax his frustrations. Iri couldn’t even feel the presence of Mister Masters as he played. It may only be a temporary feeling, but Irirangi relished in it -- soaking it up and enjoying this peacefulness while he still can. Every song he finished, he would play a new one. The water spirit not yet ready to return back to the reality of his current situation. No. While he was free to play, Iri honestly felt like he truly was...free. 

Iri felt like he had played for hours, and maybe he did. Being a ghost had its advantages, he would admit, so his fingers did not feel as much of the strain as they would have if they were true flesh and blood. But eventually, the spectre did feel the tug of tiredness, so he knew it was time to stop for the tome being. 

A soft sigh escaped him when he played the final notes to his last song. The notes seemed to echo hauntingly, before being absorbed completely by the suffocating silence on the mansion. He stayed there for a while longer, not quite wanting to leave the comforts of the piano just yet...

“You remind me of home...” he muttered to the instrument quietly, before closing the key covers and gently stroking the smooth surface. “I want to go home...”

“It’s no problem my dear boy, no need to thank me.” Vlad smiled relaxing in the chair as he listened to Iri begin to play, for the most part seeming to be rather content with just being around Iri.

If Vlad was being at all honest with himself, which he sometimes if rarely was, he was ever so thankful that Iri had wandered into this spiders web of a conundrum. He had sworn if he had to be alone for another moment he would have lost sanity completely. Even though it was quite arguable that he had lost it already.

“You play beautifully.” Vlad mused sinking further into the chair hands perched in his lap. Something about just having another spirit around was just so completely calming it was almost dazing. For so long he had been lost in that ridiculous rage that had driven him after Iri in the first place but now it was just. Gone. For certain it wasn’t gone forever but at the moment with the sound of the pianos notes drifting through the air, at the very least it was sated.

[siren-of-the-docks]

~prepares cooked fish for kitty boyfriend~

*EXCITED KITTY IRI NOISES*

[siren-of-the-docks]

*puts a collar on iri*

“......This is weird.”

[siren-of-the-docks]

'nyaa~'

|| M!A Meme Accepted! – nyaa~: muse now has a cat tail and ears||

“Why…do I have a tail? What’s going on?”

[siren-of-the-docks]

I want to see what NSFW headcanons you have for my character. Go on anon if you’d like. Be as graphic or as vague as you want. If I like it, I’ll accept it.

[siren-of-the-docks]

Surprise my muse with a kiss.

A peck, a smooch, a full on french-snog. See how they blush.

[siren-of-the-docks]

here have some AUs as if there aren't enough on your dash already

“i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can’t stop watching you do one armed push ups that’s so hot” au

“this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au

“you’re the only delivery person who gets to my house in any semblance of the word fast which is why i keep requesting you but you don’t believe me and tease me constantly about it” au

“okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au

“okay i get that there are no seats left in this cafe but like i am trying to read here no you cannot have this chair my feet are using it thank you very much please get out of my face now” au

“my parents moved me halfway across the world when we were twelve and before that we were best friends but now i’m back and moving in across the hall from you so hi?” au

“i’ve been travelling a lot and somehow you’re in every single city i go to seriously what the fuck who even are you how are you doing this” au

“we’ve been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now i think i might actually be in love with you” au

“ngl i thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow you’re still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around me” au

“my guitarist quit the night before the gig that could mean the big break for a band that i have put my soul into and supposedly you’re really good but i swear to god if you screw this up for me i will hunt you down and slit your throat” au

“it seems we’re the only two people in this class that actually know what the fuck is going on want to team up for this project and ruin everybody’s lives” au

“we started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you’re demanding i take you out to dinner is this a date” au

“i’m the private investigator that was hired by your ex to track you down and you totally caught me sitting outside your apartment in a rental car so hi what up” au

“i came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and i didn’t even know anything was wrong but we’ve known each other for months what gives” au

“i’m the lawyer helping you get custody of your daughter and oops you’re all kinds of adorable with her and also i think she’s growing attached to me is this good or bad” au

“i meant to text the contact one above you in my phone’s contact list for a booty call but i didn’t realize i hit your name until i sent it so now i’m just sitting here feeling those little three dots hardcore judging me” au

“we started dating after months of sexual tension between us but then you moved across the country so now we’re trying to figure out how to make this brand new relationship work long distance” au

“so not to be rude or anything but i’ve been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for fucking years and i’ve always been alone up until now seriously what the hell” au

“it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au

[siren-of-the-docks]

I dont want sex, i want the things that lead up to it. The slow kissing then the passionate kissing, then the pulling closer, the neck kisses, the grabbing, biting, heavy breathing, grinding, the pauses while you catch your breath, feeling each other. Oh my… Then sex!!!

(via fivehundredandtwomiles)

[siren-of-the-docks]

a really long, but categorized, ask meme

ACTIONS - ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

*Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*

*Slaps you*

*Kisses you on the lips*

*Bites your lip*

*Rubs your shoulders*

*Dumps ice water over your head*

*Winks at you*

*Flips hair at you*

*Throws a ball of paper towards you*

*Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*

*Slams the door shut behind you*

*Storms out of the room*

*Wraps my arms around you from behind*

*Kisses your neck*

*Nibbles on your earlobe*

*Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*

*Strokes your hair*

*Caresses your cheek*

*Holds you in my arms*

QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION

“You’re cute and I’m horny. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I see you like cardio… wanna go back to my place and do it together?”

“I’m sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think they’re missing an angel.”

“Hold my hand? I’m afraid I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

“Are you a pokemon? Because I’d like to peek-at-chu.”

"If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, I’d have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you.”

“Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. It’s back at my house, so we’d have to go there but…”

*Spills a drink on your shirt* “I’m so sorry! But if it’s any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.”

QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION

"I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“I don’t know you, but thanks.”

“You’re a very nice guy/girl, you know that?”

“We only just met… but I’d really like to see you again.”

“Do you think you could move your ass out of my friend’s seat?”

“It’s none of your business. We just met.”

“Hey I’m [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if you’d pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?”

"I’m so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to trip you I swear, I’m sorry.”

QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION

“Did you get that email I sent you last night?”

“No, I’m serious. She/he brought a flask to work.”

"I overheard the boss and I think you’re about to be put up for a promotion!”

“I know what you’ve got in that top drawer.”

“I can’t believe you’re drunk at work.”

“You know, most people watch porn at home.”

“Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband.”

“Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I can’t even open Gmail!”

“If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe you’d have a chance at a promotion too.”

“You’ve been working here for 6 years and you don’t know where the break room is?”

QUOTES - SCHOOL EDITION

“Didn’t you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!”

"We lost the playoffs.”

“The girls team beat the boys!”

“I heard he/she got called into the principal’s office.”

“Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours.”

“I heard they were fucking in the bathroom.”

“She/he’s been paying people to do their homework!”

“She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth.”

“I can’t believe we’re graduating this year.”

“Being a freshman sucks.”

“I slept with a sophomore last weekend.”

“She/he told me they were a junior!”

“Why are those freshmen staring at you?”

“Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?”

“How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?”

���Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!”

"I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“I definitely failed that test.”

“I got an A on my essay!”

QUOTES - SASS EDITION

“Wow, there’s a stick wedged so far up your ass I don’t think I can even pull it out.”

“I’m sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number.”

“Uranus called and said I’m huge and in the way.”

"I’m searching… searching… oh. Well would you look at that. I couldn’t find any fucks to give.”

“What’s the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains.”

“Just because that’s mistletoe hanging above us doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“At this point you might as well ask for my autograph.”

QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION

“You know I’m right! I’m always right!”

"Shut up. Just shut up!”

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

“You’re lying.”

“I can’t believe you’d say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you.”

“I can’t look at you.”

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“If you say one more word, I swear…”

“Pipe down, you’re making a scene.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Now I know why people think you’re neurotic.”

“You must be crazy.”

“I’m not backing down.”

"You can’t hide the truth forever, you know.”

“What’s your issue?”

"You make me so angry.”

"This has nothing to do with you.”

QUOTES - LOVERS EDITION

"And… and I love you! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”

“I don’t know how to say it. But you know what I’m trying to say, right?”

“I’ve never been good at this. I don’t do relationships. But I… I want to try with you.”

"You’re the one that I want.”

“I don’t care. I don’t give a shit, don’t you get it? I don’t give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I love you.”

"Please don’t say that. You know you’re the only one for me. Fuck everyone else.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but you’re still the only thought on my mind.”

“I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life.”

“I’ve always been afraid of commitment, okay? That’s why I sleep around.”

"I’ve never wanted to give love a try until now.”

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I need you more than you will ever know.”

“I love you more than I could ever express in words.”

QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION

*Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*

“I didn’t fuck him/her, I swear!”

“I brought vodka and ice cream.”

“You left your anal beads at my house. Wait… no, they’re just normal mardi gras beads.”

“I can’t believe you went without me!”

“I love you, I love you so much and you just don’t see it. What am I supposed to do?”

“I know you’re sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!”

“I can’t find my apartment and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Let me in! I think I’m gonna throw up.”

QUOTES - NSFW EDITION

“What do you think about this outfit?”

“Bend over.”

“It’s not going to get up by itself, you know.”

“I thought you’d be bigger.”

“Where did we leave those damned handcuffs?”

“I can’t find my vibrator.”

“Just set your phone on vibrate!”

“I want to fuck you until you’re raw and shaking.”

“That’s it… do a little striptease for me.”

“You can watch… but you can’t touch.”

“Be quiet! They’re going to hear us.”

“And get this… the new toy? It glows in the dark.”

“I’ve got two flavours. Cherry or fruit punch?”

“I want to be on top.”

“That is one fine ass.”

“You look like a screamer.”

“Let me tie you up.”

“What’ll our safeword be?”

“I love making you squirm.”

“Not my neck! It’s summer, I can’t wear a turtleneck in the sun.”

TEXTS - DRUNK EDITION

[TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?

[TEXT] I can’t stop listening to our song.

[TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.

[TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.

[TEXT] Do you even love me?

[TEXT] What happened to us?

[TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.

[TEXT] IM26C4U.

[TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.

[TEXT] I couldn’t care less.

[TEXT] Now you know how it feels.

[TEXT] I still love you.

[TEXT] I can’t stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved me… and wondering if they were lies.

TEXTS - NSFW EDITION

[TEXT] You can’t have me if you can’t even get the three C’s. Chocolates, champagne, and candles.

[TEXT] I’m in the bath… come join me?

[TEXT] Don’t tease. You know I like it rough.

[TEXT] Bed, counter, or floor?

[TEXT] If you can get here in five minutes I’ll suck you off first.

[TEXT] What do you think about threesomes? And, what about foursomes?

[TEXT] You’ve been naughty, I’m going to punish you.

[TEXT] I can’t believe you just sent me that. I’m at work/school!

TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION

[TEXT] I fell down the stairs and… well, I’m in the ER.

[TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and I’m waiting with them at the hospital but I can’t do this alone.

[TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??

[TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and I’m stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.

[TEXT] I don’t know what happened I was just cooking and then all of a sudden the pasta was on fire!

[siren-of-the-docks]

(Apv: how bout some aquatic dragon smooches? Hahaha)

(Kissing Requests ||| CLOSED)

(You know I was tHIS close to having to submit it onto your NSFW blog? Also ARagon gives me second hand embarrassment. Calm your hormones Aragon.)

[siren-of-the-docks]

Iri shuddered, his whole body being over taken by the most wondrous of sensations, each thrust intensifying the feeling. He let out a soft groan, Iri not helping but to moan and pant against his lovers heated skin, between each kiss and suck he made along the princes neck and chest. By this point, Atticus was absolutely covered with his blooming love bites -- It looked so gorgeous against his boyfriends pale flesh.

“Mmmm...I’m going to make you feel even better” he purred low, as he kissed along Attcus’s jawline. One of his hands now gripping his boyfriends hip, while the other hand wrapped its fingers around their hard length. He began to stroke Atticus once again as he drove himself deeper and faster into them, Iri making sure each stroke matched the pace of his thrusts. 

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[siren-of-the-docks]

Put 'Confess!' plus an accusation about my muse in my ask, and my muse will confess whether it's true or not!

Here’s some examples to start you off-

Confess! Are you turned on by [insert kink here]?

Confess! Do you like [insert name here]?

Confess! Is it true that you once [insert odd/silly activity here]?

Confess! Are you scared of [insert fear here]?

Confess! Did you cry during [insert movie here]

Or think of your own! Be as cunning as you like…

[siren-of-the-docks]

Hearing Atticus moan his name in such an erotic manner made him thrust a little faster into his lover -- the water spirit not helping but to be extremely turned on my his prince’s voice. Damn, everything was just feeling so overwhelmingly amazing. It was making Iri’s head spin. 

“A-Atticus...” He moaned softly as he placed kisses along his lovers neck, moving down their chest before flicking his tongue over Attcius’s nipple. Iri teasing the sensitive nub with his tongue as he continued to thrust deeply into his lover -- while making sure to hit that special spot that made Atticus make those lovely moans.

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[siren-of-the-docks]

send one for my muse’s reaction to your muse ---

alternatively send ‘ + ‘ after the symbol for the roles to be reversed where possible !

✘ = hugging them . Δ = playing with their hair .  ❤ = kissing them .  ₪ =  asking them out for dinner . ☀ = giving them a gift of ___ ( asker’s choice ) . ♘ = stabbing them . ♕ = bowing down before them . ♒ = lying to them .   ✿ = buying them flowers . ☾ = being found shirtless . ♢ = reading them a story . ☂ = giving them their jumper to keep warm . ✎ = speaking in a different language . ✏ = teaching them a different language . ▄ = telling them a joke . ♬ = singing to them . ☹ = insulting a loved one . ஐ = slapping them . ✂ = threatening them . ❃ = dancing with them . ▤ = falling asleep on them . ☮ = waking them up after a nightmare .  ♣ = discovering them crying .  回 = patching a wound .  ✮ = stargazing . ▓ = caught stealing their belongings . ☽ = wandering alone at night . ♡ = complimenting them . ≡ = offering a place to stay overnight . ☢ = falling over . ✦ = being well-dressed . ❂ = wiping blood off their face . ◎ = taking care of them while ill . ☁ = being caught in the middle a storm with them . ⇕ = holding their hand . ↱ = being lost with them . ☠ = pushing them against a wall .