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▼2312【ようぴん】

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Andrea Gibson

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It’s been two weeks and I have only lost 3lbs. I’m actually not mad at that tho bc it makes me feel like it’s actually fat im losing and not just muscle or water weight. I think soon I’ll start exercising to speed up the process but im happy with the progress being made. I don’t think it helped this week eating right before going to sleep but this week was busy. Monday was quiz night so I got home late. I ended up eating a hot dog when I woke up from falling asleep. Tuesday I was with Christia so I think I had something I can’t remember. Wednesday Tristan came over and I think I had an egg sandwich. Thursday I KOed super early but woke up and ate and tonight I had two sushi rolls but basic ones but I still have time to digest before going right to bed. It will be interesting to see if that helps or if I just stayed at the same weight or lose anything or even gain.

It’s nice bc I feel like I am learning what works and doesn’t. I know meat really doesn’t help me lose at all right before bed. What I might do is get some rice cakes, hummus and mushrooms.

I can try and find the keto bread and make cucumber sandwiches. The protein shakes don’t work just yet but maybe further down the road. It’s the beginning of this journey so I don’t wanna mess it up too quickly by going too hard too fast. I know I need food to go to sleep and ironically that developed through this ED when I was at my lowest which was 95lbs. I miss it there I feel I could of gotten further but I won’t go too deep into that. We are just gonna focus on getting there. Next week is promising. I can go to the store tomorrow and get the stuff. I’m excited for next weeks progress. I feel like it will be better than this weeks.

CW: 130

GW1: 125

Total lbs lost: 6

Total lbs to go: 5

Maybe tomorrow I will work on the house that will burn calories. Maybe go for a walk. We will see. Maybe lounge around for a while. Either way I will try not to smoke during the day so I don’t eat anything. I think last weekend killed progress too so I gotta make sure the weekends don’t push me back. This will be the third weekend so we will be strong. Remember how good it will feel seeing the number on the scale go down. Maybe I’ll do a cycle tonight to burn calories. Probs not bc exhausted but MAYBE

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Looks like I’m losing 1 lbs a day. Not bad, I miss losing 2 lbs a day as a teenager lol. I didn’t have as strong will power back then as I do now tho. I’m proud, confident. I only bought my scale 2 days ago. I wanted to lose at least 10 lbs and see if I can fit into the dress. At this point, imma aim for 20. I can lose 20 lbs in 20 days. That will be I c o n I c. No one is stopping me. No one can stop me. I don’t even have to hide this. I’m so fucking excited. I’m watching eurphoria too which is a huge distraction. I would go on ED tumblr and then just forget I’m even hungry. After euphoria I can watch those ED movies again bc those are always inspiring. Heck by my birthday I can be so small and skinny.

I start to look good at 114 lbs. we will get back to 100 lbs. for now let’s focus on 10. I started earlier but I didn’t know my weight. So let’s say we started at 135.

SW: 135

CW: 133

GW1: 125

GW2:115

GW3: 105

GW4: 95

GW5: 85.

We will cap it at 85lbs for now. It’s a long road ahead but I believe we can get there.

I have noticed that sometimes it will take a day and a bit to lose 1 lbs. I want to start fasting by 7. Deff have tea n all but no food after 7 so I have to eat dinner at work. Maybe I won’t have to tonight bc it’s the weekend tomorrow. It was hard throughout the week bc I couldn’t sleep on an empty stomach. Which then effects the weight loss in the AM which can get frustrating. You’re doing everything right Sav. Eating one small meal a day. Yesterday was sushi. I have pasta in the fridge I can eat when I get home tonight. Will I have a non alone today? Goodness no. I might ngl. We will see. I’ll be strong and won’t. I’ll have a mocha instead. The mocha isn’t very sweet which is nice. Maybe a regular coffee. Idk I’m not big on americanos. I bought the Godiva coffee so that really helps when it comes to fasting. I haven’t started fasting yet but I think I’ll get there soon. I just love an ice latte in the AM.

Fingers crossed we are down to 132 tomorrow. It’s a waiting game. If not at least I have the weekend to workout and clean to burn those calories. Maybe I’ll fast. I can go to the beach and walk or south lands. I dunno but it will be nice either way.

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ED FILMS/SHOWS

MOVIES

★ little miss perfect ★

an overambitious high school freshman tries to control her life by controlling her weight.

➜ watch on soap2day

★ starving in suburbia ★

17-year-old Hannah joins a dangerous “thinspiration” online community where users treat anorexia as a lifestyle rather than a disorder.

➜ Watch on Vimeo

★ sharing the secret ★

beth turns to binging and purging as a way to control one aspect of her life, but her habits quickly spiral out of control and force her to seek treatment.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hmujb3ndoo0

★ for the love of nancy★

follows the main character as she starts college, becomes more and more withdrawn, starts a regimented exercise routine, stops eating, and begins losing an unhealthy amount of weight.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cgvxvq33swy

★ a secret between friends ★

when two teenage girls become fast friends and decide to diet together, things go from bad to worse, ultimately leading to the near death of one of the girls.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vmf4cd1fxge

★ dying to dance ★

➜ a young woman succumbs to pressure at ballet school and develops anorexia nervosa.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hi5ww4z-rx8

★ girl, interrupted★

based on writer susanna kaysen's account of her 18-month stay at a mental hospital in the late 1960s.

➜ Watch on Netflix

★ Kate's secret ★

a beautiful woman married to a successful lawyer and the perfect suburban mother who turns out to be a closeted bulimic.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zpchtd3xw4q

★ the best little girl in the world ★

a young girl develops an eating disorder, alternately starving herself or throwing up food. her parents, angry and desperate, send her to a hospital. unfortunately, she befriends a patient who convinces her to hide her illness.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oy7gj99pt_a

★ thirteen ★

an innocent seventh grader undergoes an abrupt personality change when she begins hanging out with a wild classmate

➜ Watch on Disney Plus

★ to the bone ★

ellen is an unruly 20-year-old anorexic girl who spent the better part of her teenage years being shepherded through various recovery programmes, only to find herself several pounds lighter every time.

➜ Watch on Netflix

TV SHOWS

★ Skins ★

 lives of a group of teenagers in Bristol, England, are followed through two years of sixth form, with the story line of this critically acclaimed series delving into such controversial subjects as substance abuse, sexuality, teenage pregnancy, personality and eating disorders, and mental illness

➜ Watch on Stan

★ Red band society ★

 a group of teenagers live together as patients at a hospital's pediatric ward and learn how to deal with their illnesses, the experiences that they have, and the people that they meet.

➜ Watch on Disney Plus

★ Insatiable ★

For years Patty was overweight, which caused her to be bullied, ignored and underestimated by the people around her. But she is now thin and seeking revenge against those who ever made her feel bad about herself through fat-shaming.

➜ Watch on Netflix

DOCUMENTRYS

★ Thin ★

this documentary follows four women receiving eating disorder treatment at the renfrew center in coconut creek, florida. while each woman has their own “final straw” that brought them to renfrew, they all suffer from eating disorders that profoundly affect their lives to the point of near-death, in some cases.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/gsqwhmesizq

★ Dana the 8-year-old anorexic ★

Little Dana became a walking skeleton after suffering from anorexia - at EIGHT. She told her distraught parents she would rather DIE than eat. And she even hid in a laundry basket at meal times to avoid having food.

➜ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKSwPBUhCBo&list=PLfjwnsEd5VNYTtPpke17nY2AHRNNpcWIK&index=3

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I think this is going to be my ED diary. I’m not new here. I feel very old being here. The OG ED tumblr days is my time. I lived here. My accounts, multiple accounts, have gotten deactivated bc of it but it was a great community as well as toxic. I have met a really good friend on here. Definitely was here 12 years ago. I’m still here. I haven’t really been on here in a while tho. That’s okay. When I was my smallest I wasn’t even on tumblr. I was goals. I was the girl in the thinso or bonespo pics. I could have gotten lower. My lowest was 95lbs and I’m 5’1. It was hard getting there but I’m determined. It’s weird being out of it for a while bc this was my life. And now I’m in a very lost place in life. I feel like this will help me in a sense to get my life back together. Im cleaner when I restrict, my self care is higher on the list. The only thing now is that I have no energy to do anything. I could be cycling rn and burning calories but im just laying down like the fat cow I am. Although I have been getting so many compliments recently on my figure. I love the attention. Keep it coming, however I need to fit into this dress. I’ll do whatever it takes to fit into the dress. I can eat one meal a day every other day. If im feeling starved I can have a cucumber sandwich or a salad. We will see bc im weak when it comes to eating. I feel like this past week I have been getting better. Luckily now I don’t feel hungry at work anymore. It’s just the evening time I need to work on. I haven’t eaten anything all day so im hoping I can go on until tomorrow. I should deff start intermitten fasting again. That would help a lot but also if im not eating I deff will want some flavor in my life like lattes. Maybe I’ll get so into it again I won’t be able to have milky coffees. That’s how I originally started, I only had coffee with soy milk and sweetener. That was my meal. Well I had a lot of pitta bread and hummus. If I can make it to tomorrow without eating, it will be the beginning of a beautiful journey. I should exercise but I’m so exhausted all the time and if I’m going to be exhausted all the time I should at least look good doing it. I want to look so good in the dress. Maybe if I watch euphoria it will help me. Or an Ana movie again. Exercise the whole movie. I also need a distraction. I have done some not great things recently and idk how to process it. I don’t even know if I can say it here but heck it bc who is going to see this? Idk this doesn’t seem like a good idea. Im not gonna say anything. Ugh but it’s crazy. It defiantly feels like main character energy. Maybe not. I just can’t believe I may have ruined someone’s life. Someone I really care about. They knew tho. They took the risk.

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MindBrokenSluts Masterpost

There’s a post going around with links to all the “named” stories written by mindbrokensluts, but since that blog is long-gone it’s just a list of dead links. Here are some new links to those stories:

A Genie-uine Opportunity https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236369273274368/a-genie-uine-opportunity

A Hard Deal https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624501731737600/a-hard-deal

A Magical New Years https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/713563354713800704/a-magical-new-years

A New Kind of Workout EITHER https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724330217275080704/mollypops23-mindbrokensluts-kelly-was-full-of OR https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724395833255165952/mindbrokensluts-username-trademark-im-not

A new massage technique https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/708613752748163072/totallyshattered-milkjunkie13-drippinglips

Alice Vs The Beast https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718861923835346944/alice-vs-the-beast

All That Glitters https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720432084735426560

Android 18 And The Red Ribbon Remote https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720995064948686848/android-18-and-the-red-ribbon-remote

Batgirl Ensnared, Part 1 https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624558865481728/batgirl-ensnared-part-1

Batgirl Ensnared, Part 2 https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624624890019840/batgirl-ensnared-part-2

Bikini of Bovine Beauty https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724334925367689216/fantasytransformations-mindbrokensluts-when

Bimbos Are Contagious https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724393538480209920/bimbos-are-contagious

Brain Away Spray https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/705540521256468480/brain-away-spray

(Brain)Washing Machine ???

Brand new Barbie https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718362179719610368/brand-new-barbie

Breaking In And Breaking Her In ???

Breeding Rites https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236276760543232/mindbrokensluts-breeding-rites-my-story

Brought to heel https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720360785605459968/brought-to-heel

Bunni-Bot: Now In Stock! https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718362318884438016/bunni-bot-now-in-stock

Bunni-Bot: Family Pack https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720363647020466176/bunni-bot-family-pack

Callista In Control https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724396267975966720/callista-in-control

Chewtoy ???

Chrissy and the Cash https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724394774079176704/mindbrokensluts-chrissy-couldnt-believe-she

Corrective Lenses https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/705540649690251265

Dolls On Display: Beth’s Breakout https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236241278746624/dolls-on-display-beths-breakout

Eraser https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/721129640895348736/eraser

Erin the playful pet https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/721129291950292992/erin-the-playful-pet

Flipping the Switch at the Back of Her Throat ???

Ginny Gets a Mouthful ???

Glass Half Full https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/721129493169913856/glass-half-full

Gordon’s cock and the 3 babes ???

Harem Application Form ???

How I Became A Rape Doll https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624663106469888/how-i-became-a-rape-doll-erotic-fiction

Hunter’s Downfall https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718861709312409600/hunters-downfall

Hybrid Hijinx https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720120963350626304/hybrid-hyjinx

I am a dumb cow https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/713563217415323648/omystephaniemichelle-mindbrokensluts-who

I Will Not Suck Dick In Class https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718449102792343553/i-will-not-suck-dick-in-class

If It Leaks I Can Fuck It https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/719398284686409728/if-it-leaks-i-can-fuck-it

Level Down https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724395036719169536/level-down

Little Girl’s Room ???

Love Is Easy https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624716289212416/love-is-easy

Mad Scientist’s Mind melting Miscalculation ???

Mary’s Rebirth https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624774357188608/marys-rebirth

Melanie Moo-ves to greener pastures https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718861455451095041/melanie-moo-ves-to-greener-pastures

Melanie RPG https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236311067852800/melanie-rpg

Mistress of the Rings https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/719945117228777472/mistress-of-the-rings

Monster Fuckers Anonymous https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720993417959800832/monster-fuckers-anonymous

My Strange A-Dick-tion https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/721695188830076928/my-strange-a-dick-tion

Natasha’s ballet training https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720121066481156096/natashas-ballet-training

Nefarious Narration https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720360850370772992/nefarious-narration

Night At The Mall https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624904891383808/night-at-the-mall

NymphoMania https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720432760797413376/i-need-help-doc-ive-been-losing-control-of-my

OK Boomer https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/713566350952497152

Orcs https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720993996760104960/orcs

Orgasm Enterprises - The Beginning https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720433936996696064/savagereborn-mindbrokensluts-orgasm

Orgasm machine overload https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/721131685309300736

Penelope and the Thought Police https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720363587153149952/penelope-and-the-thought-police

Penny For Your Thoughts, Dollar For Your Dignity https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720432254529273856/mindbrokensluts-penny-for-your-thoughts-dollar

Pleasant Dreams ???

Pink Haze https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/723797445039063040/pink-haze

Piper Vs The Brain Bandit https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236343360815104/piper-vs-the-brain-bandit

Ruth-Less Revenge https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718618785204109312/ruth-less-revenge

Ruth-Less Revenge 2 https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718618818423963648/ruth-less-revenge-2

Sasha and Sandy’s sapphic Ritual https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724395156165591040/mindbrokensluts-sandy-wasnt-sure-what

Sculpting Venus https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/705541008242491392/sculpting-venus

ShE-Sports: Breaking Bethany https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718618655319080960/she-sports-breaking-bethany

Silly Bunny https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/723947485718085632/silly-bunny

Slap It! https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718449190991249408/slap-it

SlutPics https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624955655028736/slutpics

Sticky Fingers https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724393593301778432/sticky-fingers

Stockholm Syndrome https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236320462061568/stockholm-syndrome

‘Straight’-Jacket Stephanie https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718449517228343296/straight-jacket-stephanie

Struggle at the doll facility https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/718077977668222976/mindbrokensluts-no-no-let-me-go-you-cant-do (im not TOO sure about this one, but I think this is it)

Supergirl becomes a Super Whore https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720432881483300864/mindbrokensluts-even-the-most-powerful-of

Suzi Succumbs https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236330797776896/suzi-succumbs

Sylph seduction https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724334916221960192/mindbrokensluts-it-was-a-time-of-war-as

The Dildo In The Room https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720994876255338496/the-dildo-in-the-room

The Fairground https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724236418287878144/the-fairground

The Implant https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/713563766197010432/the-implant

The Maid Interview https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724624418059534336/the-maid-interview

The Perils of Science https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724625008860741632/the-perils-of-science

The pink phone (Part 1) https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/714193084148318208/mindbrokensluts-the-pink-phone-part-1-molly

The pink phone (Part 2) https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/714193098199154688/mindbrokensluts-the-pink-phone-part-2-part-1

The Remote https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724334886283083776/mindbrokensluts-hey-ian-how-do-you-work

The Truth About Belle Delphine https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724234582404333568

Thinking With Her Cunt https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/713564120393351168/thinking-with-her-cunt

Tina’s Fetish https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724396280315559936/mindbrokensluts-whilst-tina-sat-in-the-corner

Trish gets turned on https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720360708258283520/trish-gets-turned-on

Uber Abduction https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724625107049398272/uber-abduction

Ultra-Violet Gets Ultra-Violated https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724395011206168576

Victoria Drools Her Brains Away https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724393814147710976/mindbrokensluts-orgasm-junkiee-somebody

Vivienne Vs Voodoo ???

Walkies ???

We All Moo For Ice-Cream https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724625139527008256/we-all-moo-for-ice-cream

Where’s My Gift https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724393838132838400/mindbrokensluts-i-hope-my-shorts-help-give-you

Women used to be people? And not sextoys? Crazy https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/724234373521670144/mindbrokensluts-its-hard-to-imagine-nowadays

You don’t want to be raped https://www.tumblr.com/hypnolurker/720993472288636928/you-dont-want-to-be-raped-erotic-fiction