sirsparklepants

[sirsparklepants]

I have never been on the same page as fandom’s clear communication fetishists and I never will be. I love miscommunication, concealment, pigheadedness, and lies. I think characters should talk around what they have to say and ignore each other and impute needs and beliefs onto others that have nothing to do with those other people and everything to do with maintenance of the ego. A little clear communication is fine but it should come at the end and be earned by repeated instances of snobbery, tomfoolery, self righteousness, or blockheadedness. If you decide you hate a character just because that character isn’t communicating in the way a therapist might coach them to, well consider that people don’t actually talk like that at all and that most of us get things wrong many times before we inch our way out of the labyrinthine darkness of our own heads.

[sirsparklepants]

"mmh did you know that creator you like also posts 🔞 content? did you know that? don't you think that's weird? don't you think we should keep this space-"

no. i don't.

i booked a front row seat to the devil's sacrament and you're blocking the view

just go back to the 1660 new england hole you just crawled out of and eat barley for a week to atone for your sins or whatever

[sirsparklepants]

*kisses ur forehead*

*I absorb and consume one precious memory*

[sirsparklepants]

"i like your tattoos" theyd look better on your bedroom floor

[sirsparklepants]

no bro you don’t understand. we have to make out. it’s for science. dude just listen to me. when was the last time you kissed someone? i’m willing to help you out! you can practice by making out with me. i’m your oldest and best friend. this totally won’t be weird or change anything about our dynamic i promise. it’s what friends are for. making out with your homies to make sure they can really impress the ladies. maybe you’re on top of me. maybe we’re both flushed. maybe you have my hands pinned over my head and we’re both breathing hard and we both wait a beat too long to move but i promise bro this is totally no homo.

[sirsparklepants]

[sirsparklepants]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[sirsparklepants]

Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) | 2024

[sirsparklepants]

[sirsparklepants]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[sirsparklepants]

[sirsparklepants]

[sirsparklepants]

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

[sirsparklepants]

please don’t fuck my dad

At the end of the day it’s up to him

[sirsparklepants]

Duke Thomas Appearances

Chronological and Colour Coded

two people said yes so here are all of duke's appearances so far chronological and colourized, brought to you by DC Database and my manual organization!

[sirsparklepants]

Honestly be pretentious as fuck about the stuff you create. Do a press release for your fanfic updates. Do a Q&A about your webcomic. Make fake merch designs for your OCs. Commission "official" book covers. Very few of us will ever get to a stage where something we've created Makes It Big but even if you have an audience of 5 people plus a shoelace fucking indulge yourself and pretend!! It's the only way to live!!

[sirsparklepants]

current sexuality: logan with his hand on his hip leaning against a wall