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[sisaperjalanan]

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيۡهِ رَٰجِعُونَ

My mother passed away.

May Allah SWT forgive her and elevate her ranks in Jannah.

Please pray for her maghfirah..

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Come back to Allah, no matter how far you may have strayed and no matter how many sins you may have committed.

So as long as your soul has not reached your throat, it isn’t too late to repent.

"And it is He who accepts repentance from his servants and pardons misdeeds.” [42:25]

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Regrets After Death...

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وَلَا يَحْزُنكَ قَوْلُهُمْ

Do not let their words grieve you.

Qur'an 10:65

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semoga Allaah menerima taubatmu ya, sayang. taubat yang kau pintakan dalam lamanya sujud dan tangismu. setiap waktu kamu menangis mengingat masa lalu akan sebuah dosa yang telah kamu perbuat. mengingatnya selalu membuatmu menangis hingga terasa sesak sekali.

semoga Allaah menerima maafmu ya, sayang. pintamu dalam setiap doa kepadaNya. memohon agar diampuni dan dimaafkan kesalahan dan dosa-dosamu.

semoga Allaah menutupi aib-aibmu ya, sayang. dosa yang tidak ingin banyak orang lain tahu, terutama orang yang kau cintai. dosa yang tidak ingin kamu ulangi dan terasa menyakitkan jika kamu teringat kembali akannya. semoga Allaah menutupi aib dosa-dosamu di masa lalu. sebab hanya Allaah saja yang mampu menutupi itu semua.

semoga Allaah menerima kamu kembali ya, sayang. menerima dirimu kembali sekalipun banyak manusia menolak perubahanmu, atau bahkan menolak keberadaan mu. karena kalau bukan Allaah, tak ada satupun makhluk yang bisa melakukannya.

semoga Allaah selalu menolongmu ya, sayang. dari ketergelinciran dan dari kemaksiatan yang kamu lakukan dengan sengaja ataupun tidak. kamu bahkan menangis setiap kali mengingat kebaikan Allaah kepadamu. betapa Maha Baiknya Allaah kepadamu bahkan sampai detik ini kamu hidup.

"kamu mengunci pintu kamarmu untuk mendurhakaiNya, tetapi Dia tetap mengirim udara agar kau bisa bernafas." _tulisan seseorang semoga Allaah menjaganya.

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فصبر جميل

I used to really struggle with the concept of beautiful patience. How is patience beautiful? What was the secret? I have had the same thoughts about this verse for years and every time I would read Surah Yusuf in a hardship I would ask myself the same question.

It did not click until this Ramadan.

Beautiful patience is to embrace the waiting because you know what follows is surely a great relief. That is the only way to bear patience upon something that doesn’t make sense or a hardship that shakes you to your core. It is to remember Who put this in your path. When you know who Allah is, when you internalize His attributes, when you are upon absolute certainty that He is with you. That He is the Most Merciful and not a single thing happens to you without being full of His mercy. That everything that happens to you is full of khayr because He will never hurt a believer. That He is the Most Powerful and the One who opens the most tightly shut doors. That all of this could change at any moment. That He has complete control over your affairs and complete knowledge, so He is protecting you from something and when the time is right, this hardship will certainly pass. That He is the Most Generous, so *never* will you sincerely ask Him for something and beg him, clinging to His mercy and refusing to give up your duaa, except that He will respond with *more* than what you asked Him for. Wallahi not a single time will Allah not give you even more than you asked Him for if you internalize all of this. Only then— does patience become beautiful. Because you know what is coming will make you forget all the pain that has passed. That He is preparing you for something great. That He is shaping you into someone great. That His love can be found in every little detail and it will all make sense one day, no matter how long it takes.

Endure with beautiful patience, my friends. How can we know who Allah is and expect anything but the absolute best from Him? No— Allah is unlike anyone and anything. Even what you imagine to be the best case scenario will fall short of what He actually gives you. Do not doubt that for a moment. He is Allah. He is beautiful in all that He does 🩵

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I am not fine.

For no reason, yet a reason. Saya mengalami peristiwa buruk, dan akibat dari peristiwa buruk itu adalah saya kehilangan diri saya banyak hal. I really lost my life too. and this is so sad.

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Saat kamu meyakini bahwa Allah adalah jawaban dari segala cemasmu, maka kamu akan menemukan begitu banyak jalan keluar dari arah yang tidak disangka-sangka. Insyaa Allah.

Teruslah memupuk prasangka baik kepada Allah.

Bandung, 07 April 2024 | 06.32 WIB

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It was Dec, 18th of 2023

Many little girls often daydream of walking down the aisle on the most joyous day of their life -- their wedding day. Heart racing, a nervous smile plastered across her glowing face, never once thinking that the man she's walking towards is hiding a secret that he's too afraid to share.

Many young woman envision meeting their soulmate, sharing their life with the person of their dreams, having a family, and living the life that's expected of them - married to a good man and being a supportive wife and mom.

Poorly, I met a man that torn apart inside by the secret He keeps that leads to heart-wrenching guilt, shame, and fear of failing everyone He knows.

it was December, 18th, 2023 when I found a chat from my husband's phone. It was a Gay app. Days later I confronted him, sadly He said "I don't know if I'm gay or straight, but yeah. I've been with many men." I was so shocked. I tried to not give up. But, here I am. Give up on this hard situation.

Many couples in a mixed-orientation marriage bravely join forces, standing tall in love, and vowing to get support for overcoming the wicked temptation of same-sex attraction. Prayer, therapy, retreats, hard work, and tear-stained conversations litter the landscape of marriage in defense mode, all in the name of "make it work, just make it work!", but I can't. In my honest opinion, Sexual orientation is much more than just sexual attraction or sex. Complicated.

For the first time in my life, I learned that I really did have to put my own oxygen mask on before I could assist anyone else.  When I took care of myself, I was able to be more calm and loving toward my family.

The most important thing I did to take care of myself was daily journaling and prayer.  I literally wrote my way to mental health in my prayer journal. I do believe Allah will Help me to Heal.

indak ka lari gunuang dikaja, indak ka kariang lauik ditimbo - Minang Proverb

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Sadness is Expensive

sadness is expensive. Kamu ngabisin waktu, duit, & tenaga buat menghibur diri. belum tentu sedihnya hilang. resources yg dipake buat bersedih harusnya bisa dialokasikan untuk kegiatan lain. jd biar tidak sedih, self discipline. jauhi orang2 yg sekiranya bikin ngenes. sayang banget hidupmu. cut off yang memang membuatmu sakit.

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Tidak ada seorang pun yang bisa merasakan apa yang sedang kamu rasakan, jadi jangan repot-repot mengungkapkannya pada orang lain. Sembunyikan dan adukan pada Tuhan, sebab masalah yang diumbar itu ujungnya membesar.

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being in mix orientation marriage

postingan ini untuk menandai perjalanan pemulihan batinku dari perpisahan karena suami gay.

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Allah is Kind

Allah is great, and Allah is kind, He's always near, and never behind, His love is pure, and His mercy true, He's always there to see us through.

For His Prophet, He's a guiding light, And for His creations, a constant sight, He never leaves us, always in our hearts, And He helps us through our deepest parts.

When we call on Him, He's always there, To listen to our every prayer, He's happy to respond to our plea, And give us what we need, with glee.

So let us always turn to Allah, For He's the one who never falls, And with His love and care so true, We'll always make it through.

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Sayang, dunia ini tidak hanya berpusat di kamu. Tidak apa-apa kok untuk menjadi seseorang yang biasa saja. Tidak apa-apa kamu melakukan kesalahan. Santai saja, karena tidak semua orang peduli 😎

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What Made You Happy lately?

What makes you happy? Simple question but difficulty answered. Some people are always upbeat no matter what life throws at them, why?

While people can be genetically disposed toward happiness, it’s more likely that these people have simply discovered more of the things that make you happy in life and utilize them to their advantage.

Two days ago, i just shared ideas and thought to teenager. how do I feel? Happy. I always happy to meet teenager. they are full of positive vibes, beside they also have bunch of problem like; anxiety, stress, etc.  Anxiety is very common in the pre-teen and teenage years.This is because adolescence is a time of emotional, physical and social change, which is happening at the same time as teenage brains are changing. Teenagers are seeking new experiences and more independence. It’s natural for teenagers to feel anxious about these changes, opportunities and challenges.

back then, After that sharing session finish, i was ruined by this thought “what made me happy lately? A simple question but with a very deep meaning”. sometimes, Human only focus on sadness and their problems that make us forget about gratefulness and happiness. You can see everything on https://gratefulness.org/

Source : https://gratefulness.org/ This typical question make us count the blessings around us. Find your happiness every day, make it your reason to living your life. 

You can  Do these couple of things to increase your happiness : 

1. Start With a Good Dose of Gratitude

Being consciously aware of what you’re thankful for can actually change your level of happiness.

When you wake up each morning, spend time recalling all the things for which you feel grateful. Before you go to bed, you can keep a gratitude journal. Write down 3 to 5 things that you felt grateful for that day and why. Use all five senses to imagine these things vividly in order to help you brain latch on to all that goodness.

2.  Make a Good Relationships With Family and Friends

3. Do What You Love

You can recharge your spirit and find a little peace. Taking some time away and do what you love can do wonders for your mood and outlook, as well as help you find the meaning of true happiness.

4.  Don’t Compare Yourself To Others

This is definitely easier said than done, but if you can condition your mind to focus on the good that you are doing and the good things in your life, you’re not going to be tempted to focus on how others are doing.

Research on the effects of social media use has found that upward comparisons on social media are associated with lower self-esteem

Happiness comes from all the small things and habits you do every day.

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Detik ini,

Saat ini,

Waktu ini,

Allah letakkan dirimu di tempat paling terbaik mengikut kehendakNya. Jadi kesukaran dan ujianmu bersesuaian dengan kemampuanmu.