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#Gag Reflex Goals!

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Diaper discipline for your partner when you’re not ready for 24/7

Many couples I speak to the diapered partner has a desire to be forced to wear 24/7 but either this isn’t practical in their lives or their partner isn’t ready to get that involved yet.

So I wanted to put together a short guide on how you can implement diaper discipline and forced regression in a ad hoc and none full time way.

With 24/7 diaper wearing the discipline & domination parts come significantly by you removing their toilet privileges in a near total way which results in it being the discipline they need. If you’re instead only going to make them wear on an ad-hoc basis then you need to make some changes.

First although they’re going to be wearing a lot less you need to be more involved when they are wearing. Secondly it has to be unpredictable for them. And finally it should be more intense than 24/7 wearing to make up for the reduced regularity of it.

I did this to my partner before we decided 24/7 was the right path so here as some tips to get you started.

Look for opportunities to make them wear diapers where it will be more embarrassing while still protecting their privacy

- Going on a day trip? Surprise them by diapering them in the morning and packing a diaper bag for them to carry.

- Long drive? Thick diapers are required.

- Staying with friends or family? Diaper them up for bed!

Force them to use their diapers

- Once or twice a week force them to mess their diapers with the help of suppositories, enemas or laxatives.

- Use locking clothes or diaper covers to prevent them from removing their diaper so they have to use it.

- Lock the door to the toilet in your home

- Don’t give them permission to use the toilet in public

- Make them lose control in a semi-public way. You don’t want to expose others to smelly diapers but giving them a suppository and sending them to get groceries or go out for a walk is a favorite of mine. Or hand a suppository for them to insert at the end of a meal out or when on a drive and still an hour or two away from home.

Take control of their first diapering, checks & changes

- Surprise them by walking into the room, with diaper supplies in hand, and diapering them there and then.

- Tell them that they can’t ask for checks or changes and do these yourself

- Check them in a physical way, making them drop their pants or lift skirt

Vary the amount of time they’re diapered

- Sometime it might just be overnight

- Other times enforce 24/7 diapers for up-to a week

- Don’t tell how long each session will last

Throw in extended 24/7 periods

- Going on a 1 or 2 week vacation? Surprise them by diapering them and telling them that you’ve packed no underwear for them.

- Got a quiet month at home? Tell them you’re going to test them being diapered full time for a bit

Make it more embarrassing

- Tease them when they’re diapered

- Threaten then with being made to wear 24/7

- Force them to use their diaper in front of you

- Make them have their diaper exposed in the house or enforce abdl clothing only

- Don’t change them until they leak and then switch to thicker diapers

- Use more babyish diapers or make a male partner wear girly diapers more

Combine diapers with other humiliation elements:

- Male partner? Dress them as a girl when diapered

- Use bondage alongside their diapers; restrain overnight in a spare bedroom, use a straightjacket & suppositories to make them feel helpless, shackle their ankles to their desk in an exposed diaper while working from home, use locking onesies and covers regularly

- Chastity! Lock them up while diapered and experiment with pegging

- Butt plugs? Going out but don’t want them to mess? Plug them up.

- Role play. Nurse & patient or teacher & school boy/girl work great with diapers

- Pull ups or abdl underwear when not diapered

Use forced regression alongside diapers as much as possible

- When at home and in diapers they should not be dressed as an adult. Onesies, shortalls, exposed diapers, baby dresses, etc…

- Use pacifiers and bottles regularly

- Make them wear a bib while eating. Or step things up and feed them yourself

- Tell them they’re a baby, only babies wear diapers, etc

- Turn a spare bedroom into a nursery simply by replacing the sheets, adding some plushies and keeping a few piles of diapers and supplies visible.

How much and when?

With all of these ideas to try the question comes up of how often should they be diapered and how do I decide when that should be (especially if not a natural mommy/daddy).

As a minimum I’d recommend they’re diapered 25% - 50% of each month. In terms of deciding when you should make them wear, I used to do this at the start of each month and week.

At the start of the month I’d look at our plans for the coming month and see if there were any big events to add diapers to. These for example might be a vacation where they could be diapered 24/7, a weekend away, day trips, etc.

Then each week I’d decide how to get 2-3 days of diaper wearing in. Normally this would involve at least a full day at the weekend as well as some nights and maybe a day when he was working from home. Try pick a mixture of at home and in public diaper wearing time.

For forced messing I’d think when would be best for this. A weekend day at home works well especially when using laxatives where the effects can last a while. Suppositories are easier to plan around and can be inserted as part of a diaper check.

For the rest feel free to plan in as much or little detail as you like but keep it a secret from them. I started with very detailed plans which became less detailed as a gained confidence in the mommy dom role.

A tip from me is I setup a separate calendar on my phone to keep track of when he should be diapered and used a simple code to keep it discrete, naming the calendar “chores”:

- cook = they’re diapered

- garbage = forced messing

- clean = diaper change

- break = diaper check

- Etc…

The beauty of this is I could have notification reminders on for all of these and it doesn’t give anything away even if somebody sees it. In the early days, these reminders for me to check and change him were very helpful.

Finally, remember when doing this that you want it to be embarrassing & inconvenient for them some of the time. With diaper discipline and forced regression it won’t work if it’s always fun for them so plan accordingly.

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Baby training 😮

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Roped and gagged by a jealous girlfriend……

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So, He Wears Feminine Things

This is addressed to the wife, partner, girlfriend or other who has just discovered that the man in your life secretly wears feminine lingerie at times. Quite how you discovered this is not important, so much as how you react to it. That in turn will depend on a number of variables including your upbringing, your faith, your education, and your expectations of your relationship.

The revelation is probably a shock and leaves you with a turmoil of feelings and questions. Is he gay? Is he having an affair. Does he not love me?

First, calm down and realize that it is unlikely to be the end of your world or the end of your relationship. Your man cross dresses, expressing a deep seated feminine side of him that you did not know about because he has endeavoured to keep it a secret from you, fearing to damage a relationship he holds as very important to him.

Interestingly, men who cross dress are far more common than one would think. It is not a perversion but an expression of something that is a part of him, something he probably realized as a teen or young man and something that he has likely been ambivalent about ever since, cycling through guilt and grudging acceptance several times over.

There is in fact a wide scale between what our culture has tended to simplify as a binary system of ‘male’ and ‘female’. Your man is a little way along that scale, to all intents and purposes a male and comfortable to be so, but with an added feminine component which our culture provides very little way for him to express. Ironically, women in our modern culture can dress either in frilly feminine clothes or very masculine clothing without comment. The same latitude is not given to men, and should they publicly wear anything that is in the slightest feminine, they are called ‘sissies’, ‘queers’ or other insulting names. Cruelly, our culture has defined ‘men’ in a very narrow and confining way.

Interestingly, our native, indigenous culture has long recognized ‘Two Spirit’ people, further recognizing that such people have value among them as those with an empathy for, respect for and understanding of both primary genders. Such people are respected, not reviled.

Is he having an affair? No, those feminine items are not souvenirs of some sordid affair. He likely bought these things, one by one, on those rare occasions that the opportunity arose. He keeps these things hidden somewhere, fearing your reaction if discovered.

Is he gay? Some cross dressers are, but most are not so inclined. However, cross dressers are often attracted to other men who cross dress, when dressed, though not to men dressed as men. There is a long term for this condition, likely odd to you.

Does he still love you? Yes. Ironically, statistics show that the majority of cross dressers in a steady relationship greatly value their relationship with their partner. This increases

their fear of damaging this relationship. Most cross dressers yearn to be better understood by their partners

The worst thing you can do is to insist your man throw away his stash of feminine clothes and promise never to even think of doing such a thing ever again. He will promise. He values you highly. He will try to keep such a promise. But he will not be able to in the long run. You will simply have driven him further into the depths of the closet.

The better alternative is to accept the situation, recognizing that this is not going to go away and that there is some wisdom in the old adage ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. The vast majority of cross dressers are ‘sometimes’ dressers, with no wish to live full time as women.

One response could be to accept that your man needs to occasionally express his feminine side, give him specific opportunities to do so, but state that you do not wish to be directly involved. It would likely be a huge relief for him to shed the cloak of secrecy, no longer fearing your unexpected early return home and the trauma of discovery.

Another response is to take an active role. Some partners help their men when shopping for clothes, either in the store or online. Some partners enjoy secretly knowing what their man is wearing under male outer clothes while out visiting with friends or at dinner and a show. Some couples buy matching sets of underwear or nightwear and enjoy wearing them together. Some incorporate cross dressing into their sex life, role playing and enjoying sex while fully or partly dressed. The range of possible responses is wide. Outright rejection is an unwise choice and will inevitably sour or ultimately ruin your relationship.

That your man is less of a man than other men you know is a false supposition. Think of him as more than a man. The current terminology is ill defined and confusing, but think of him as a man who has a female persona beneath the surface, perhaps well hidden but yearning to be expressed.

Yes, there is a risk in opening any door into your relationship. A few cross dressing men ultimately cross a threshold and seek to live full time as women, perhaps entering new relationships with others similarly inclined. A few may even commit to surgical procedures that confirm their new gender identity.

But, this essay addresses the vast majority of men who seek ‘sometimes’ to express a feminine side of themselves that is suppressed by our western culture. They seek to be better understood, not vilified. Please give them space to be who they fully are.

PS Readers, if you can use this letter yourself or know of someone to whom this would be helpful, please feel free to repost or copy.

AmandaJane70

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