six-writteninink

[six-writteninink]

AHHHH IM SO EXCITED TO BE BACK AT MY LW... and maybe even lower?! WAHHHH IM SO EXCITEDD

[six-writteninink]

21 hours into my fast, aiming for 51 more. ive made it 88 hours before so 72 is definitely doable, just hoping i can 'eat' in my room over the weekend

[six-writteninink]

last weekends 'recovery' has literally offset any progress ive made for over a week now. if anything is motivation to lose weight it's literally the consequences of my own actions oml

[six-writteninink]

”that’s not enough food” yes i know that’s kind of the point 😞

[six-writteninink]

i’ve done some reflecting, and i’ve discovered a few things about myself. firstly, i am able to fast for days on end at my mums house, i think because i don’t like my mum and i take pleasure in disobeying her. secondly and contradictorily, i always eat at my dads house because i love him and i feel so bad not eating, making him worry and wasting food he’s made for me. oh also i think i’m an emotional eater, but i can get that under control very quickly by just reflecting some more.

anyway, all of this means i have a new plan. at my mums house, i do not eat. this is what works best for me, and i know that i am capable of it. at my dads house, i’m going to omad at dinner, and although it’s VERY high for me, i’m going to allow myself 500cals. usually my limit in the past has been 200 but i think that just leads me to binge, so i will allow myself 500. but that’s a limit not a goal.

i will reach my ugw by the end of this month i can feel it 🙏 20 more days of locking in and i can do it

[six-writteninink]

okay but i am CRAVING my mums pasta salad rn

[six-writteninink]

okay so plan is to eat as little as possible tomorrow, idk if i’ll be able to get out of breakfast but hopefully i can & hopefully i can keep dinner to under 300 cals, because that is my limit for tomorrow. again idk if i can get out of breakfast on friday, but i can fast p much the whole weekend so 😋😋 i’m hoping to be my ugw by the end of june, so 3.5kgs in 3 weeks? and then i’ll reevaluate + probably drop it to 42kgs, which is only 3 more kgs for all of july, then by the very beginning of august (and coincidentally, my birthday) i’ll be 42kgs! YIPPEE i’ve actually got a lot of faith in myself, i just need to keep up these 60-70 hour fasts and under 300cals when i’m eating that i’m doing. i’ll bump up the fast time when i don’t feel like i’m going to faint but i believe in myself

[six-writteninink]

gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth to hopefully calm myself down from the binge :(

side note how disordered is calling eating a normal dinner “bingeing”. like i watch one of my friends eat an entire fucking baguette that’s 700cals and cookies that are 250cals consistently wtf is wrong with me

[six-writteninink]

also i’ve been saying that my tdee is 1300 but it was apparently 1500? i’m still saying it’s 1300 though because my metabolism is likely very suppressed (yeah right after all the bingeing you do there’s no way bro. gotta find a way to switch from an-bp to an-r because you screw up your progress so much you fatass)

[six-writteninink]

ate dinner, overestimating it was probably around 1000 calories? or 1100? i’m logging 1150 just to be safe, but oh my lord was it so much food. absolutely delicious though, i regret it so much but yum. i guess at least im not wasting food. anyway, broke my fast at 70 hours which is the least time i’ve ever fasted for (apart from 24hr omads) which is disappointing to say the least. i was 48.6kgs earlier today, but i think i’m going to be more tomorrow. i don’t think i’ll be able to skip dinner tomorrow either but i’ll try, and i can fast from thursday night to monday night probably.

god i just want to start losing weight again, 47kgs you were so close but SOMEONE keeps sabotaging us (it’s me i’m someone)

[six-writteninink]

back into the 49’s PHEW. few more days and the rest of my water weight will drop off, i’m just worried i won’t be able to get out of dinner today

[six-writteninink]

i’m going to fast until saturday, and hopefully i’ll reach 48kgs again. i have no appetite anyway because of my depression, and i think i’m getting the flu from my mum, so i’m honestly worried that i won’t be able to eat even if i want to after Saturday. oh well, a lot can change in a week, so we’ll just have to wait and see where things take us.

[six-writteninink]

134 hour liquid fast starting now 😋 i’m mainly gonna be sticking to water but maybe a smoothie every now and then idk

[six-writteninink]

tried for recovery tldr gained so much water weight and i’m going back to starving tomorrow. i’m going to allow myself a hot chocolate after my shower, maybe a cookie idk but on monday i’m never touching food again (taking a lax on tuesday night too, i tried to poop normally but my bowels don’t work anymore and i need to get rid of the weight)

[six-writteninink]

gotta lose .2kgs by saturday morning though, which is very doable, so i can replay little nightmares 2 if im not depressed and rotting in bed after my friends cancelled plans all weekend again

[six-writteninink]

3.2kgs (less than 4 weeks) until my ugw and hopefully hospitalisation 😝 goofy

[six-writteninink]

broke my 48hr fast with 50 cals of kiwi fruit. i feel like bingeing but i just need to go drink some water and brush my teeth then go to sleep 😴