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a graph based on my observations

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“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

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yeah no offense to confucius or anything but if i was about to embark on a journey of revenge i would simply not dig two graves

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Aren't you curious about the comets , stars and moons ? what are they all about ? let me know when you find out .

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Welcome

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Are straight white people okay????

What is this?!

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Uncle Aaron is a Jeff kinnie

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UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

Kuzco Propaganda:

The movie starts with them doing the voiceover, telling us how he'll show us that evil people ruined his life for no reason at all, before proceeding to show him fire a loyal advisor, announce to a guy he'll chase him and his whole village away from the homes they've been living in for generations, just to build a summer villa with pool for himself, have a guy thrown off a window for being on his way when he was freedancing, etc., etc. Then as his life is ruined and we get back to the point at the beginning from which he had started the flash back which took half the movie, he's like "see? for no reason!"

Goob Propaganda:

The scene where his classmates are like "hi Goob!" "Wanna come over to my house later?" and adult!Goob, as the narrator, says "They all hated me" still cracks me up to this day

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hi hobie hiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!

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Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) 2020 / 2021 / 2022

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one tectonic plate approaching another

“so are you a top or a bottom?”

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I... I just opened tumblr... got bored of it... closed tumblr... and then opened it again immediately....

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It’s finally happened.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.

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“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.

A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.

I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,

“I am the manager.”

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I’m God’s weakest twink