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[skinny-911]

One of my safefoods are instant noodles (288 kcal the whole bottle, idk I can't eat apple but my ed allows instant noodles:D). I eat this noodles everyday at lunch at my work. But yesterday my coworker said "there's a lot chemicals in it!! Thats unhealthy!" Yes I know. But that don't scare me. But now, my mind (or ed) don't allow me to eat this anymore....not because of the chemicals, its because I hate it when somebody comment my eating habits.

[skinny-911]

Guten morgen

This is a very important post for me, and I am german so its very hard for me to write this in English..

I want to tell you guys about the time when I was at my lowest. Its not about the bad side effects or something. Its about my doctor and my mom.

My mom has seen my weird eating habits before I was underweight. She try to force me to eat but it doesn't work. Then, when I was at my lowest (39 kg) she's afraid to touch my hand because "your Spagetti fingers are disgusting". She often cries and show me google photos of anorexic people and ask if I wanna look like this. And yeah. Its exactly what I want....but I said "no". One day, when I go for a walk (I walk every day for 2-3 hours) I pass out. Some strangers found me and call the doctors. Because it was the 1. May, the doctor thinks I drunk to much Alkohol (but clearly not?! I would never drink alcohol because of the kcal!!!!) They decide to bring me home. They ask if I eat something today and I say "no" then they ask how much I Weigh. I say "exactly 39,3 kg) the two doctors look at each other and say "eating disorder" they took me home and tell my grandpa (cause my mom was not at home) after a few days my mom took me to a doctor. From now I go every week to Weigh checks there. My weight were not go down or go higher this time. My mom know, I need help. Not for my body, but for my mind. So we ask another doktor for a therapy. But here is what he said to my mom "she is not too thin. She has a bmi of 16,8. Its not so dramatic, there are lots of other girls who are lower and REALLY needs help."

I don't know why I tell you the story but yeah. Thank you doctor l. I often think back and because of you, I try my best to get lower till I deserve help. Thank you.

[skinny-911]

Good morgning!

So Thats the plan for today:

I have homeschooling till 13:00. I plan to drink black coffee and monster energy. Maybe i eat some vegetables but I try to stay under 200, so I have 300-400 kcals left for dinner.

Stay safe!

[skinny-911]

Good morning Ladys, Gentlemans und gentlethems ♡ how you feel today?

Today is a good day because my vacation is over so I have to go to work. That means i cant eat from 7:00 till 17:00. I take some of my safe foods with me. I want to stay under 600 kcal today. I am sooooo motivated!

[skinny-911]

🌸Eating disorder accounts over 18 please reblog 🌸

Following minors makes me uncomfortable and I want friends

[skinny-911]

I am very hungy right now but I can't eat. Its only 12:07 and if I eat now I will be much hungrier later. So I wait till 13:00. I want to stay under 600 kcal today

[skinny-911]

I called my Girlfriend. I told her about my eating habits and that I can't eat a lot because of the voice in my heard. She said" i am not worried, this is just a phase anyway"

FML

[skinny-911]

Today i've eaten 298 kcal and do zumba for 45 minutes ( so i burn 254 kcal) later i will eat a salat with tomatoes, onions and salat and dressing ( ~ 250 kcal)

[skinny-911]

Coffee and Puzzle. Yesterday was really good. The last 8 Days were good! I never ate more than 600-700 kcals. I often eat under 300 but I have to eat more than 300 because the danger of binge is huge. So I ate 600 kcals everyday. I feel good. (But still super fat)

[skinny-911]

I think the only skinny thing of me are my hands. My mom said to me "your Spagetti fingers looks disgusting" (my english is disgusting too because i am german haha)

[skinny-911]

Coffee is my absolut fav food lol

[skinny-911]

*sigh*

[skinny-911]

Well, yes šķķììňňý