skinpunch-blog - Tumblr blog

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[skipping rocks on a lake together]

Matt: what a beautiful evening.

Ryan: *under his breath* take that you fucking lake

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now that adventure time is over lets all remember the best post

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full offense but if you show your love for Dan by shitting on Arin than you can straight up go fuck yourself

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listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it

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$50,000 immediately dropped into my bank account wouldn't improve EVERYTHING but boy it sure would be a grand, sexy little start to a good, happy life path, don't you think

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the truth is out there, and its in the heart of downtown toronto

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me, watching a battle scene: please not the horses. leave them alone. they did nothing wrong. they are the only innocent ones. they don’t deserve this.

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New girl in my Sunday school class: Are you a girl?

Me: No, but people used to think I was a girl.

Girl: Oh. Is that why the other teacher called you (deadname)?

Me: Yes, that’s my old name I used before I told people I’m not a girl. But I haven’t used my new name forever so sometimes (other teacher) forgets.

Girl: Okay. I’ll remember to use your new name! *bounces over to the toy cars*

…….

Me: I want you to start calling me Mx instead of Miss. Okay?

Little boy: Okay. *violently stabs crayon into paper* Mx Roman, I broked the crayon.

Me: That’s probably because you stabbed the paper with it, buddy.

…….

3 y/o : Are you a boy or a girl?

Me: Sometimes I’m a boy. Sometimes I’m not a boy or a girl.

3 y/o: *proudly puffs out chest* I’m a girl all the time.

Me: Good for you, kiddo.

3 y/o: I know.

…….

Preschoolers understand better than any adult I’ve ever met.

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A faerie introduces himself. Then, holding out a hand, asks, “And your name, please?”

And, like a fool, you give it to him.

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TW; R*PE. Nightmare.2:35AM.

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I fell asleep, two hours prior.

The dream takes place at my mothers house. (Haven't lived there in almost two years.)

I am for whatever reason masturbating with odd objects. By this I mean they were definitely dicks? But the one from the dream isn't normal its flat. I dont think it matters but it was consistent. Within a pausing period I glance out of the window and an odd silhouette is walking towards the neighboring house and doing something I can't see in front of the window directly across from mine. I see it and kind of shrug it off but something isn't right.

I find my way to the swimming pool.

I began to masturbate with said object in pool.

I had moved to reposition.

I look over to see the almost cartoony shaped, black, vague, silhouette walking toward the neighboring house; very briefly staring and then reaching for the window on the house. Here's the catch, as I watch I realized it was almost respawning between my house and the next door house. The movements repeated. It was a cycle. I had a feeling from the moment I spotted him from my window that something wasn't right. Looking at him again from my pool in the state I was in again it was like I had no control of my body and I made some noise loud enough for his attention to be drawn to me. His head snapped toward me, like if it was a jump cut. He ran toward me and I had then immediately regained control of my body completely petrified as he ran toward me I began to try to scream, only small cracks came out and I tried again but to no avail. He managed to get both hands half way around my throat and I woke up unable to catch my breath.

Right before I woke up my brain was telling me he was going house to house raping, but the cycled movement in one place made no sense. Its like he was doing it but not, and he was REALLY doing it when I had drawn attention. Very frequently I have nightmares, almost every night. However none are like this. I'm not sure if there is anything I can give information wise to help figure out what the fuck this is about but I'd be glad to give answers to questions.

In case it helps, I recently experienced a traumatic event and I dont know if that's useful information but please feel free to ask questions.

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this fucking orc named Skakuga the Taunter has followed me throughout this entire game, literally jumping out of bushes to make fun of me and then running away after throwing a smoke bomb. i killed him and he came back with a peg leg as Skakuga the Unkillable. i hate this fucker

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For some reason a bird speaking Japanese is mildly off putting.

> Literal translation

Bird:“ ‘Uhm Hello, this is the Ono family.”

Bird: “What’s wrong?”

Owner: “Abe-chan, you’re a little too early. Once the phone’s picked up, then properly say hello.”

Bird: “Okay, understood.”

Owner: “Do you really understand? I’m counting on you. Hello, this is the Ono family residence in Gifu.”]

Bird: “Okay, I understand!”

Owner: “Got it.”

> That’s clearly some sort of Pokemon.

> Off-putting? It’s like birds were meant to speak Japanese!

> For some reason it’s never occurred to me that birds can mimic languages other than English. It’s so cool, though!

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a comic about someone who gets a visit from the reaper a bit sooner than expected, but has someone whos been waiting for them 

Hey, do you like my art? Help support me and buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/zipper ❤️

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This was such a great message.

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people with uteri are never gonna have a perfectly flat stomach. they’re always gonna have a little pouch, because that’s where we keep our bees.

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here’s the thing

for tumblr answer time, i ask every celebrity the same question

so far i’ve done misha collins

dj khaled

troian bellisario

sean o'pry

gavin grimm

tj miller

lany

and so far not a single goddamn answer. 

i’m gonna keep going until i get a straight answer or @staff​ stops me