skittsyteacup - Tumblr blog

[skittsyteacup]

”I want to know your headcount” “I want to know who’s fronting” so do I, get in line

[skittsyteacup]

Tw vent!! Just ranting Abt privacy and mental illness also mentions of blood/harm!! Stay safe pookies<33

//I don't like my school mornings where I make the bus. I have to be around my sibling and their friends. I told my sibling to keep my stay a secret and just say I was at the hospital or something but they know. The friends know. I'm so fucking upset that happened. And their best friend of all people. Who's sister, I feel I'm nothing like them but I was compared to be similar.., is super mentally unwell and aggressive I think. Not to mention I fucking consented to residency before I knew I didn't want to. At the time I didn't care!! I didn't care what happened to me, really. Nor did I have any friends to at I considered affected or close. But fuck. I do now. My best friend grounds me. I feel so seen and normal around them and their family, my hallucinations aren't loud or even visible, my heads clear, I'm multiple alters but we know who we are.. I'm Phoebe. I'm 15. I have a crush on a girl who makes me the most nervous but calm thing in the world. My birthday is in june. I'm a girl with neo and xeno pronouns. I like music and crafts. I'm me. I see me so clearly. So, so clearly?! Then we get home! And the craving gets worse. I feel oppressed somehow. I want to claw my skin until it pours like a broken dam. I want to dig these wires out of my skin so they can be flesh. I want my eyes to bleed. I want to bite my fingernails off. I want to break the window with my fists or head and smile as I walk around town. I feel frozen like a slug in place with time passing so. fast.

I crave being in her company as much as possible. Not even because I adore them, just because I feel at home!!

My mom used my stay against me all the damn time and it's driving me to manic. I'm sorry I wasn't home then I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm fucking sorry. Why do you care now? I'm not going to just cut my neck open. You being like this is what's making me worse! You fucking idiot! I hate her. I'm really starting to. But fuck at the same time I'm so attached. She's my mom, I remember our happy times. It hurts so bad. I need someone to hold me for awhile but who can?? My crush? No. No no no it's gross. This body is going to be 18 this year and they're a few years younger, it's not right. But I only trust them to touch me. I just. I want to be held. Is it bad to want? Besides even if I wanted it its too late. I can't go over tomorrow and Saturday is a con, we'll be busy. Besides they're so young I can't just do that to them. I don't know. I don't know anything.

I'm tired of knowing and not knowing our ex. I'm tired of being aware of them and that bitch. I'm not supposed to cus but wtf ever rn. I'm being influenced so I think it's fine. But God why do I have to feel others emotions, be influenced by their control?? I wish I was on my own sometimes. sometimes.

[skittsyteacup]

Bothering the beast

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[Text; for april fools we're deleting the entire site/blog, sayonara you weaboo shits]

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[Text: This system is hypersexual due to trauma, please don’t blame them for it.]

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[Text: This angelic alter dislikes talk about religion, and doesn’t want to be perceived as an all holy god.]

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[Text: This fictive might lash out due to anger and BPD, please be patient]

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[Text: This system is emo.]

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[Text: This host wishes that their alters would front more]

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[Text: This system has a lot of introjects from a story they wrote with a friend.]

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[Text: This system has a headmate who only speaks Russian.]

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[Text: Different alters use different pronouns. Please ask, don’t assume! /gentle]

[Text: Different headmates use different pronouns. Please ask, don’t assume! /gentle]

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[Text: This system’s psychosis symptoms fluctuate by alter.]

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[Text: This system has a lot of introjects of the most random things.]

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[Text: This alter is a new co-host so please be patient!]

(if it is too hard for somebody to see the text against the background, please let me know and I will make a new box! /genuine)

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[skittsyteacup]

[Text: This introject doesn’t care about their source’s canon & still loves their partner even if the ship is problematic.]

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