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you are meat. You are meat you are meat you aRE MEAT

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maxwell gotch going full dead-eyed patrick bateman while pushing a viking banker on a penny farthing bicycle into the fan blades of an industrial sized wind motivator and screaming ‘YOU’RE MEAT’ was actually not on my bingo card for this season but honestly it should have been

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Lois Lane — New Looks ( +Story)

Clark: (on the phone with Lois) Great! S-so it’s Friday at six. I’ll see you there. Bye. *hangs up the phone* *proceeds to do happy dance in his kitchen*

—————————————————

The next day at the office…

Coworker A: So what’s this about you and Clark?

Lois: Oh, it’s just dinner at Martello’s.

Coworker B: *gasp!* Martello’s? He must be pretty serious about you then.

Lois: Sammy, plenty of people go to Martello’s for business dinners. Really, I think you’re reading too much into this.

Coworker A: Lois… don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way Clark looks at you.

Lois: Looks at me?

Coworker B: With that sad, longing stare and those big blue eyes… boy, I wish men would look at me that way.

Coworker A: Or how he’s always finding excuses to talk to you. Like the other week when he came around asking about the Toyman story, even though he already had all the reports.

Coworker B: And did you see the way he blushed when you complimented him on his Superman column?

Lois: Alright, cut it out, both of you. This isn’t funny. Clark and I are coworkers. If he had romantic feelings for me, don’t you think I would have picked up on it by now?

*both girls side eye each other*

Lois: And anyway, we have that big press conference coming up, and I’m sure Clark just wants to prep for it…

*Clark arrives at the office. He waves and smiles when he sees Lois*

Clark: Lois! I’m looking forward to Friday!

*he leaves to go to his desk*

*Lois stands still for a moment, horrified, as it dawns on her*

Lois: Oh my gosh, it is a date…

Coworker B: (to herself) Isn’t he just the most romantic thing you’ve ever seen?

Lois: Oh no, what do I do? I’ve never been on a date before!

Coworker A: You’re not serious are you?

Lois: If you knew my dad, you’d understand.

Coworker B: Don’t worry too much about it, you’re a great gal to talk to, and that’s all a first date is, really. Just talking.

Coworker A: The important question is, what were you planning on wearing?

Lois: Oh, well, nothing fancy. Maybe that turtleneck and pencil skirt I wore to the fundraiser last month.

Coworker A: A turtleneck?!

Coworker B: To Martello’s?!

Lois: Well I don’t typically dress up!

Coworker A: You don’t have a little black dress or anything?

Lois: I still have my old prom dress… somewhere…

Coworker A: Oh, Lois…

Coworker B: *gasp!* I know! I’ve got just the thing! I’ll drop it by your place tonight — It’ll look perfect on you!

Lois: Hold up — it doesn’t have any ruffles or lace, does it? (Like something my mother used to wear…)

Coworker B: Have a little faith in your fellow woman, Lo. Trust me, it’ll be great.

Coworker A: Now what about your hair?

Lois: *groan*

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I just had a thought. In most "humans are deathworlders" stories I've read aliens either don't have any major predators on their planet or advanced to a point, then wiped out their preditors before ascending to the stars.

What if humans are the hippies of the galaxy? We are constantly seeking peace and harmony with ourselves and our environments for one. But it's not just that. We have conservation, breeding, and rehabilitation programs for many animals on our planet including some major predators and competitors for resources and food.

So here we are. Going into space. And just baffling our galactic neighbors when they find out that not only do we still have animals that can eat us, but we actively fight to keep these animals alive and off the extinction list.

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Aliens are gonna be gobsmacked by our urge to pack bond with everyone and everything on the ship, but just wait until humans are pack bonding with THE SHIP ITSELF. Giving her a nickname. Insisting on “she/her” pronouns for the ship because ‘tradition’. Saying “ouch” in sympathy when the ship takes damage, and saying “there you go, all better,” after patching her up. Hell, I bet there will still be animists meditating and connecting with the spirit of the ship on a regular basis and thanking her for doing such a good job.

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On the topic of humans being everyone’s favorite Intergalactic versions  of Gonzo the Great: Come on you guys, I’ve seen all the hilarious additions to my “humans are the friendly ones” post. We’re basically Steve Irwin meets Gonzo from the Muppets at this point. I love it. 

But what if certain species of aliens have Rules for dealing with humans?

Don’t eat their food. If human food passes your lips/beak/membrane/other way of ingesting nutrients, you will never be satisfied with your ration bars again.

Don’t tell them your name. Humans can find you again once they know your name and this can be either life-saving or the absolute worst thing that could happen to you, depending on whether or not they favor you. Better to be on the safe side.

Winning a human’s favor will ensure that a great deal of luck is on your side, but if you anger them, they are wholly capable of wiping out everything you ever cared about. Do not anger them.

If you must anger them, carry a cage of X’arvizian bloodflies with you, for they resemble Earth mo-skee-toes and the human will avoid them.

This does not always work. Have a last will and testament ready.

Do not let them take you anywhere on your planet that you cannot fly a ship from. Beings who are spirited away to the human kingdom of Aria Fiv-Ti Won rarely return, and those that do are never quite the same.

Basically, humans are like the Fair Folk to some aliens and half of them are scared to death and the others are like alien teenagers who are like “I dare you to ask a human to take you to Earth”.

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The Wizard The Witch And The Wild One ep30 The Snake

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Jason and Dick have the same chaotic energy for sure. The difference between the two is that Jason doesn't care about the consequences of his actions, whereas Dick honestly believes he's immune to them.

Tim: Okay. Until we know where this thing ends, we should just keep our heads down and try not to draw any attention to ourselves, alright?

*Dick starts a fight*

Damian: What is he doing?

Jason *joining the fight*: I think he’s drawing attention to himself.

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This will never not be fouly funny.

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This will never not be fouly funny.

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I didn't ask to be attacked like this 😆

aroallo heterosexual culture is never feeling truly queer but also not relating with your straight peers

.

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As a bass player, this brings me great joy

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HEY TUMBLR. RELAX BRO. @quiddie 🤣

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Y'all remember the time that duke started a child gang that terrorized all of Gotham for a while? Before he joined the Batfam? Yeah, exactly.

this man is not the "innocent child."

it is a fucking bit.

he claims to be innocent. he holds it above his siblings heads that he never gets in trouble with Bruce.

this man is pure of chaos waiting to be unleashed. april fools days are wild— nobody expects Duke to pull the worst prank. it's all a fucking bit. he's "innocent" for the bit, so he can pull the rug and fuck with his siblings in the silliest way possible.

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"Why are there so many female archers in fiction?"

Please forgive the clickbait-y title! This is a super complex and interesting topic that I barely scratch the surface of here, but I hopefully will be able to do more justice to things like this in the future!

Also, it's not the point of the video, but I had fun with the outfits in this- do you have any faves?

As always, please consider supporting me on Patreon if you can, or watching on youtube if not!

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POV you’re keeping it on ice