skrnadia

[skrnadia]

I have never begged

For anyone to stay

But i said please that day

Whatever it is

We can work this out

I have never

Prayed for anything so badly

But I remember

Begging the universe

That if it could hear me somehow

All i want is a chance to make it work

It was when

I was on the verge

Of losing you

That I realized

I’ve never wanted anything more

I cant

Was all you said

And that was the end of it all

2 words

5 letters

I’ve never been hurt

By anything more

[skrnadia]

You found me in the darkness

You gave me a lighter

But

Then

Suddenly

You blow out

And

You put me back

To the place

You found me

Darkness. Only darkness.

[skrnadia]

I can no longer see the “you” that I know all this time.

I only can see the hurts, pain, depression, confusion, dishonor, not-enough, shame, ache and agony.

[skrnadia]

Semakin kamu berumur, pasti kamu semakin sadar.

Ternyata benar.

Bukan masalah 'kemana nya'.

Tapi, 'sama siapa nya'.

Saya ngga masalah, entah itu makan potongan daging berdiameter 10cm dengan harga 120ribu per porsi

atau sekedar makan bebek madura ditemani genjrengan gitar para pengamen di pinggir jalan -- di perempatan lampu merah

asal saya bisa denger dia bilang

'diabisin ya makanannya.. '

Saya nggak masalah, minum kopi di balkon cafe lantai 5 di mall tengah kota

atau cuma minum minuman panas dengan pemandangan jalan raya ditambah tukang nasi goreng beserta pelanggan pelanggannya yang antri supaya bisa denger cerita dia seharian, tapi masih bela-belain jemput saya biar bisa nyeruput kopi sama saya.

mau roda empat,

atau cuma dua,

sama saja.

seru emang, ngerecokin dia dari kursi samping sambil cium bahu kirinya pas dia lagi sibuk perhatiin jalan,

tapi kamu udah pernah belom ngerasain liat2an dari spion kiri pas lagi becanda sambil meluk dr belakang?

atau dengkul dielus pas lagi lampu merah?

nah itu. pacar saya gabisa naik motor hehehe

jadi ya kalau bisa, jangan terlalu menuntut ini itu

kalo emang dia udah bisa ngasih waktunya buat kamu, ya bersyukur

soalnya uang bisa di cari

tapi waktu gak bisa kembali.

saya mah gapapa nggak bisa ngeliat aksinya mas Tom Hardy di bioskop, asal saya bisa ngeliat dia ketawa karna becandaan saya.

saya nggak masalah kok duduk di ruang tamu dengan bekel martabak, dengerin dia ngeluh capek pengen tidur tapi malah nemuin saya karna kangen saya.

karna buat saya,

bukan masalah kemananya

tapi selama sama dia, saya udah bahagia

dia aja itu udah cukup.

seribu kali lipat cukup.

[skrnadia]

to fall in love at the same time and with the same speed, wouldn’t it be wonderful? no push and pull, no game, just being.

[skrnadia]

Dear Me, 

I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, when your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that i didn't give you enough time to heal, that i let you seal the wounds of everyone else whilst your own bleeding. I'm sorry that there were days when smiling hurt, but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I'm sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back. I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why. and I'm so sorry that i didn't love you, like you deserve to be loved.

[skrnadia]

in a world where you can be anything at all - choose to be kind. choose to be someone who does good because it is the right thing to do, choose to be someone who gives before they calculate returns. be someone who is kind because the world is lacking kindness, be someone who spreads light because the world has become clouded by darkness, be someone who cares because this world has become hounded by selfishness, be someone who gives because this world is overflowing with greed.

be that someone who makes a moment in another's life that little brighter - just as it takes a moment for the clouds to halt the rain, it takes a moment for hopelessness to turn hopeful for soul who left kindness.

<3

[skrnadia]

“Goodbyes take a great deal of courage, but what takes even more is the Hello that comes next, to cast your aversions aside despite all you’ve suffered and take a chance on somebody new, to risk it all again because you know human connection is precious and rare, and always worth the risk.”

— Beau Taplin • H e l l o  G o o d b y e 

[skrnadia]

[skrnadia]

you are my favorite everything 🥺✨

[skrnadia]

Nad ini anon atau enggak sih

bawel

[skrnadia]

You know what’s the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It’s when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they’re thinking of you. You know, you’d like to think you’re both in all this pain but they’re just like “Hey, I’m glad you’re gone”. 

Before Sunrise (1995) dir. Richard Linklater

[skrnadia]

FEELS. LIKE. A. DREAM

[skrnadia]

let's enjoy this a little while longer

"let's enjoy the stars and the moon light for just a little while longer. that is, if you're not in hurry?", i say while giving him a little smirk.

he smiles his cocky smile and answers "we can stay as long as you want. as long as i have you in my arms, we can stare at the stars and moon forever"

i lean up and kiss him on his cheek then snuggle into his arms. we sit there for a little while just lookin up at the beautiful night sky.

"i want to remember this forever. i don't want it to ever end"

[skrnadia]

halo nadd

eeeeh ini udah lamabgt br ngecheck sampe bawah, iya halo halo!!

[skrnadia]

Meet me at midnight

in the forest of

my dreams

We'll make a fire

and counting the stars

that shimmer above

the trees.

[skrnadia]

masih di sini, di tempat yang sama, dengan perasaan yang sama.