skylera

[skylera]

[skylera]

[skylera]

Black Out Lenses

I have just discovered that contact lenses can be used to render someone completely and temporarily blind. I love the concept;

They can’t be yanked away or come loose like a blindfold. They dont cover up the face of a pretty little thing and gosh darn it do they not look intriguing. Talk about control. You could bring your girl out on the town and pretend she’s blind. Maybe leave her to stumble around in darkness until she panics. You could put handcuff on her and let her try to get around the house blind for a day like a punishment. You could put them in and let her service a number of men without her ever knowing who they were.  Here is a video of a girl, wearing them, being used. Sold here, here and here.  All that I am lacking now is a girl obedient enough to accept me controlling even her sight.

[skylera]

Submissive Owner’s Manual I need to feel safe. Before I can begin to open my submissive nature to You I need to feel safe and have reason to trust You. To let down my walls and give You control of my will may take time and testing before I feel safe enough to permit either of us to go beyond the initial stages of our relationship. Even after I’ve given myself to You fully, I need to be reminded I am safe with You. I may like to feel the thrill and excitement of fear and the unknown, but I need to be sure no matter how You stimulate those emotions during an intense scene or situation, I will remain safe in Your care. I need to know You accept me for all I am. I will be many things to You as our relationship grows and I need to know You accept me as a person during each transition along the way. I need to know You accept me as a friend, lover, companion, and Your submissive but also accept me as parent, child, employee, community member or other roles I fill in my obligations to family or society. I need to have clearly defined limits. I need to know exactly what You expect of me and know that You also understand my limits. In some ways I am like a child that needs a fence around my play area so I know how far I can go and feel secure inside those limits. I need You to reinforce those fences by correcting me when I try to climb them without Your approval. I need You to be consistent. I need to know You mean what You say and that today’s rules will apply to tomorrow’s behavior. Nothing confuses me more than giving me mixed signals by allowing me to break rules that You’ve given me. From time to time I may test You to see if You are capable of accepting control of my life by consistently bringing me back to the path You’ve chosen for me. It’s not done to try Your patience but is my way of finding reassurance You are paying attention to my progress. Very often it’s not done consciously and I promise I’ll not use it as a method for provoking Your negative responses. I need to expand my limits. I need to grow and to be challenged. Left on my own, I’ll become bored or stagnate within the boundaries I accepted in the beginning. I need to be pushed, but never shoved, to go beyond the places I’ve been. I may drag my feet and pout at times, or sit down and refuse to move because I’m unsure and need Your guidance in overcoming my obstacles. I depend on You for strength and encouragement to get beyond them. I need You to teach me. I need to learn and it is You who are my teacher. My mind is hungry for new things and learning helps me to become all that I can be. This may require You to continue to learn new things in order to keep me challenged. Together we can grow to the fullness of the gifts we have and deepen the diversity we share. I need goals. Part of my make-up as a submissive makes me very goal-oriented. I need them to measure my progress and need You to provide them for me. Take time to explain those goals in ways I can comprehend Your plans concerning my growth as Your submissive. Without Your direction I quickly become lost so I’ll look to You frequently to provide a purpose and aim as I continue in my development as a submissive. I need to be corrected. I need You to correct me when I make mistakes. Without Your correction I will develop bad habits that can be very difficult to break and do great damage to our relationship and to us as individuals. Without Your correction, I may never know I’ve made a mistake. Allowing me to continue unchecked will only cause me to fail both of us in the end. I admire firmness in Your correction and feel secure in knowing that You will never be afraid to take steps needed in keeping me focused on the goals You’ve set for me. I need You to be my role-model. I look up to You and try to follow in Your footsteps. If You fail to live up to a standard, I will follow You into failure, often without You noticing until it is too late. I learn quickly by the examples You provide for me and often base my reactions and behaviors on my observations of You in similar situations. I will blindly pattern myself in Your image so be aware that my eyes will always be on You as face Your own challenges and daily activities. I need Your approval and reassurance. I need to know when You approve of me or what I’ve done and to know I belong to You even if I fall short of my goals. I sometimes confuse approval with disapproval when You do not provide positive reinforcement when You are pleased by my actions. I will constantly be seeking Your approval when I’m unsure of myself and may need to rely deeply on Your support and reassurance when I’m confused about a situation or apprehensive about a new challenge. I need to be able to express myself. I have a need to express both good and bad things to You but it may be difficult for me to put the negative things into words. I fear Your rejection and hate disappointing You, so I may need a little space and time to voice all the things I need to say. You can help me by reassuring me that my feelings are valid, even if they aren’t something You find pleasure in hearing. There may be times when I’m upset or angry with You but without freedom to express those feelings there can be only festering resentment or misunderstanding. Guide me in ways that I can learn to speak my heart without breaking it or Yours. I need to learn from my mistakes. I need to experience things that may be painful in order to learn successfully. I know Your protective nature will struggle with allowing me to be hurt but I need to learn the consequences of what I’ve done and to experience the feelings that go along with making mistakes. I will need Your comfort once I’ve faced my failure but will sometimes feel unworthy of asking or unable to voice my disappointment in failing. Allow me to sort out my feelings before wiping away my tears. I need forgiveness when I fail You. Nothing hurts me more than to know I’ve failed or displeased You and I need to be forgiven once I’ve made amends. It is very hard for me to forgive myself for a wrong-doing and I may need Your help in getting beyond the feelings of remorse I am carrying. I may even need to be punished, if my wrong-doing was traumatic enough, in order to feel closure and accept forgiveness. I depend on You to make that determination for me and need Your help in making an atonement that is acceptable to You. I need to feel I contribute. I have a deep-set need to give and must have outlets for this need. My basic nature is to give of myself and You will be the primary recipient of my gifts. Allow me to contribute to our relationship and our life together. To do less will leave me unfulfilled and unneeded, a fate worse than death for me. Provide me with ways to contribute things to others, also. I may need to give of myself to those I hold dear but You will always receive the best I have to offer. I need to enjoy successes. Without experiencing and enjoying my successes I may give up my fight to be all You desire for me. Allow me the pleasure of savoring the taste of victory when I overcome an obstacle or if You find pride in my attempts. All of my successes belong to You and I need to share their rewards with You. I don’t expect You to spoil me with grand displays for little victories, but when I’ve reached beyond the limits of my past attempts, please don’t deny me the sweet feelings of knowing I’ve achieved a goal You’ve set. I need to share with You. Sharing with You is a compelling need and one of the cornerstones of my submissive nature. This includes the emotional and spiritual aspects of my being as well as the physical body I inhabit. It may be difficult for me to give You access to the deeper levels of my emotions and feelings but those are the things I need to share the most. I’ll depend on You to direct me in ways I can achieve total openness with You. I also need to share in the things You are. Trust me enough to share in Your fears, failures and struggles. I’ll never see You as weak or incapable because You have shown confidence in me by giving part of Yourself in trust. I need to feel loved, respected, and protected in Your ownership. No matter how well I’ve done or how miserably I’ve failed, I need to know I’m still loved and protected by You. Nothing will prevent me from trying new things like fear of losing Your respect and love. By the reverse, nothing will encourage me to expand my limits and grow to be all I am capable of being more than knowing You will be there to protect me from harm and will love me even if I fall short of the target. I need to be loved and to love You in return. I can’t survive without it.

unknown (via

degasanctuary

)

All of this

(via

decas-daddy-wolfie

)

Every Dom/me should read this and take notice.

(via bdsmgallery)

[skylera]

[skylera]

HUMILIATION activities/ideas Chart

Humiliation Chart by Sir Viktor

Note: We should not put our BDSM values on anyone in the vanilla world! Please do not humiliate anyone in a Vanilla setting such as a restaurant or supermarket with a possibility of a vanilla person seeing this.

HUMILIATION activities/ideas

Act as objects (furniture, etc.)

After orgasm, making sub drink his own cum

Always address you Sir, ma'am, etc.

Anal plugs

Age Play

Baby pacifier tied around neck

Bathroom use control

Bathroom use in front of others

Become a human ashtray

Beg for cigarettes, drinks, etc.

Blindfolds

Boot worship at odd moments

Cavity check in private

Cavity check in public

Cage display

Cage display and ignore them

Carrying a doll or toy around

Clip on earrings that don’t match

Crawl on 4ís

Cum or urinate into their food.

Curse words (Whore, Slut, Worthless, etc.)

Curtsy in public

Dancing/ stripped tease

Dom chooses food

Dom chooses cloths

Dom urinates into water, while sub is taking a bath

Eat from a pet dish

Eat from floor

Eat without utensils

Embarrassing positions

Enema

Eye contact restrictions

Feed submissive from hand

Feeding the food in restaurant (Remember: don’t put your values on others-if they can see)

Feminine necklace exposed (for males)

Foot worship

Forced bestiality (not for everyone. This is a hard limit for most)

Forced Cross dressing

Forced dressing

Forced exercising

Forced nudity

Forced masturbation in odd places

Forced shopping for pantyhose and asking the clerk would this fit me (male)

Forced slave auction

Forced to go to bathroom in front of others

Forced to sell lemonade in the street like a kid for .10 cents

Forced to wear a sign (slut, etc.)

Forced to be a slave

Forced to wear a leash

Golden shower

Handcuffs in public

Handcuffed to a shopping cart while shopping

Harem–serving w/other(s)

Hood

Human Garbage Can

Immobilization

Lead on leash while having a rubber bone in the mouth

Leave bathroom door opened

Leave note with embracing instructions

Made to walk the streets in a ìRed Light District

Made to urinate in front of others into a cat litter box

Maid services

Make sub wear underwear that you’ve urinated on

Mask

Nipple clamps under see thru top

Orgasm control

Orgasm denial

Pantyhose work with shorts (male)

Pet roles (act like a dog, cat, etc.)

Pet play (forced sex w/pet)

Record real embarrassing sessions and make them watch it

Scat Play

Scolding

Spitting in face

Send shopping with note and hand it to clerk.

Serve others (supervised)

Serve others (unsupervised)

Serve as toilet

Shave head

Shave body hair

Shave pubic hair

Slap face

Slave tattoos (temporary)

Spanking (public)

Speech restriction

Spell slave with suntan lotion & get tan

Stand in corner

Swallow urine

Suck dildo in car, so others can see

Take Pictures

Take Video

Verbal Abuse

Wear a bra and get a tan (males)

Wear diapers

Wear Masters cum on your face without wiping

Wear no bra under see thru top

Wear no panties under see thru clothes

Wear T-shirt that say I’m a sissy boy, I belong to Masterî, etc.

Wear Collar everywhere

Wear unmatching clothes

Wear clothes that are ripped

Write on body (slut, sissy, etc.)

Undress in front of others

[skylera]

Creating Structure

Submissives crave structure. If you create a world where the decisions are made, expectations are clear, and she knows what to expect, your submissive will do everything in her power to please you. The thing is that you’ll hear a lot about structure and consistency, it’s eluded to all the time, but you’ll rarely hear people talk about what that it looks like.

Structure is more than a set of rules, though rules are a great start. If it’s structure you’re after consistent behaviors are the building blocks. Structure is built by the Dominant, and maintained on both sides. For submissives there’s freedom in knowing what to expect. It may seem boring to most people, but I love knowing that my days will start and end in exactly the same way, and I think most submissives would agree. So it’s down to the nitty gritty… taking a look at what structure looks like.

Disclaimer:  It’s not the same for everyone, and that’s okay. Relationships are different, and these examples are to give an idea to those who are struggling. They are not meant to be the be-all-end-all, that defines structure. Also I use feminine pronouns for subs and male for Doms, not because I’m silly enough to believe that’s the only way it goes, but because that’s the sort of relationship I personally am in.

Does she wake up knowing the first thing to do? Is there a message on her phone from you? Is she supposed to let you know that she’s awake? Should she start the coffee while you’re in the shower?

When she goes to get dressed is there a reminder of you? Do you pick out her panties each day? Does she send you a picture for approval? Are skirts expected on certain days?

She’ll be late home tonight. Does she call and let you know? Leave you a text message? Is the note scribbled on the calendar enough?

She wants to make a purchase but she can’t get in touch with you. Does she make it anyway and tell you after? Can she decide to spend, but only up to a certain limit? Does she wait unless it’s an emergency, even if she’ll miss the sale?

She knows you like her legs shaved and smooth. Keeping them smooth is a rule. Does she shave every day? Every other day? How about when she has her period?

So these might still seem like just rules to you, but how about this…

Is it safe for her to come to you when she’s disobeyed. Sure, she should expect punishment, but does she know that your reaction, and her punishment will be rational and equitable?

Does she know that you will call if you’ll be late?

Is she sure she’s doing well because you tell her consistently? Or show her with your affection? (Structure is about eliminating doubt too)

Do you hold her when you’re falling asleep? Do you realize that when you don’t she might worry she’s done something wrong?

If she journals for you, does she know that you’ll read it within a certain time-frame? Do you let her know when you have?

Does she know when to worry that you haven’t contacted her? Does she know you’d never miss a goodnight message unless something is wrong? Or does she assume you’ve fallen asleep or not charged your phone and give you time? How long? 12 hours? 24?

When these questions have answers it’s a sign that a submissive has structure. She knows what to expect, and she knows what is expected. A lot of it is about having rules, and what @instructor144 calls ‘defaults’ (Knowing what to do when you’re not there to ask. ex: If she sends you a picture of her outfit for approval and you don’t respond within 20 minutes, then the outfit is automatically approved).

Some of it is about being predictable as a Dominant. Predictably strict. Predictably observant. Predictably fair. Predictably affectionate. All these things stacked one on the other create the structure that makes a submissive feel safe, loved, and cared for.

[skylera]

• Using your safeword does not make you a bad sub.

• Not enjoying a certain act (i.e. tying up, pain play, etc) does not make you a bad sub.

• Not sharing the same kinks as your dom(s) does not make you a bad sub.

• Asserting your wants, needs and/or triggers does not make you a bad sub.

• Stopping a scene entirely and not wanting to continue does not make you a bad sub.

Bdsm is supposed to be fun. You can stop or alter things to suit your comfort. It’s ok to do this.

Any dom that tells you otherwise is a bad dom.

[skylera]

How does he make sure you stay obedient and humble?

I’d like to think that my own self discipline and character helps… otherwise, a verbal reminder or reprimand is generally enough. When I obey it’s because I want and am inspired to be obedient, no one could do much to force that if the will to obey and commit to the dynamic I agreed to is not there.

[skylera]

Conditional Orgasms

Some people are happiest and at their best with complete orgasm denial. But orgasm denial isn't for everyone. Some people get stressed or unhappy when they're on denial, and some just have no interest in it. For those that want some kind of control imposed on them without doing complete denial, here's another option you can try: conditional orgasms.

The idea here is that you have to satisfy a certain condition or set of conditions before you are allowed to orgasm. Below I have begun a list of potential conditions to be satisfied. The list is created with women in mind, but other gender/sexual identities are encouraged to adapt them for your tastes or identity. Feel free to add your own ideas to the list.

You decide what your level of engagement is, but I offer these achievement levels: * Acceptable: One condition met that does not include direct sexual stimulation. * Good Girl: Two conditions met that do not include direct sexual stimulation. * Waifu Material: Four conditions met. * Total Fuckdoll: Six or more conditions met.

Conditions

1. Tits out, completely uncovered.

2. Completely naked.

3. Legs spread and cunt exposed.

4. Kneeling, on all fours, or face down ass up.

5. Rubbing your lips with a finger.

6. One or more fingers in your mouth.

7. Fucking your mouth with a dildo or other toy.

8. Actively drooling, as in it's coming out of your mouth.

9. Pinching, pulling, or other intense stimulation of your nipples.

10. Stimulating your clit with fingers or vibrator.

11. One or more fingers in your cunt.

12. Fucking your cunt with a dildo or other toy.

13. One or more fingers in your ass.

14. Fucking your ass with a dildo or other toy.

15. Let at least one other person watch you (Skype or other streaming services acceptable).

16. Live blogging your playtime for others to follow along.

17. Watching explicit or extreme porn videos.

[skylera]

How to Spot a Fake “Daddy”

Unfortunately Tumblr is becoming filled with “Daddies” that don’t deserve to ever be called Daddy by any little, because these guys are just perverts/creeps in disguise. Here’s some ways to spot these “fuckboy fake daddies” as I like to call them, before they hurt you.

1. He asks for nudes and insists you do whatever he says within hours of meeting you.

2. Doesn’t give you structure. Doesn’t act like a Daddy. There are no rules. No bed times. Nothing.

3. His compliments exclusively focus on your appearance, so he says things like “you look great” and “your boobs are amazing”, but you never get a compliment on your personality or character.

4. Is suspiciously quick to punish you. You’re always being told you’ve “been a bad girl”, you always feel like you’re not doing enough to make him happy.

5. He’s only ever really engaged in the convo when he needs something. Other times he’s distant and barely tolerates you. You feel like you’re bugging him.

6. His profile icon is a picture of his dick, or of him shirtless, or something dumb like that.

7. He never really feels like your Daddy, the relationship feels empty and hollow. You still feel alone.

8. Calls you pet names so often that it becomes nauseating. Ends every sentence with “little one” and “princess” and “little girl”; it comes across like he’s trying too hard.

9. He doesn’t seem interested about learning more about DD/lg and BDSM. You won’t find him reblogging long text posts such as this on his blog (instead it’ll be 100% sexual content).

10. Can be very mean and hurtful when he doesn’t get his way. Doesn’t understand how sensitive littles can be and is quick to make harsh personal comments.

Please help spread the word about these people. Reblog this. Like this. Share this with a friend. We need to put a stop to this behaviour NOW.

[skylera]

Feminist Kink 101

Kink: a woman consents to serving a man sexually because she enjoys it, and he also satisfies her sexually.

vs.

Sexism: a man expects a woman to serve him sexually because "that's how it should be," regardless of if she enjoys it.

Dominance: a man makes decisions for a woman based on the preferences & goals she's informed him about.

vs.

Toxic Masculinity: a man disregards a woman's needs/wants, tries to control her, and makes unilateral decisions regardless of how they affect her.

Feminism: an informed, self-respecting woman with boundaries chooses to own her sexuality & submit to a man as long as he respects her.

vs.

Internalized Misogyny: a woman idolizes a man, obsesses about him, & submits to him, regardless of how he treats her.

[skylera]

This could be fun or extremely sad

1: Name

2: Age

3: 3 Fears

4: 3 things I love

5: 4 turns on

6: 4 turns off

7: My best friend

8: Sexual orientation

9: My best first date

10: How tall am I

11: What do I miss

12: What time were I born

13: Favorite color

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favorite quote

16: Favorite place

17: Favorite food

18: Do I use sarcasm

19: What am I listening to right now

20: First thing I notice in new person

21: Shoe size

22: Eye color

23: Hair color

24: Favorite style of clothing

25: Ever done a prank call?

27: Meaning behind my URL

28: Favorite movie

29: Favorite song

30: Favorite band

31: How I feel right now

32: Someone I love

33: My current relationship status

34: My relationship with my parents

35: Favorite holiday

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

42: When did I last hold hands?

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

45: Where am I right now?

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

49: Am I excited for anything?

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

55: What is something I disliked about today?

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

57: What do I think about most?

58: What’s my strangest talent?

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

61: What was the last lie I told?

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

64: Do I believe in magic?

65: Do I believe in luck?

66: What's the weather like right now?

67: What was the last book I've read?

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

69: Do I have any nicknames?

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?

71: Do I spend money or save it?

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

74: Favorite animal?

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

78: How can you win my heart?

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

80: What is my favorite word?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

88: Bought condoms?

89: Gotten pregnant?

90: Failed a class?

91: Kissed a boy?

92: Kissed a girl?

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

94: Had job?

95: Left the house without my wallet?

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

97: Had sex in public?

98: Played on a sports team?

99: Smoked weed?

100: Did drugs?

101: Smoked cigarettes?

102: Drank alcohol?

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

104: Been overweight?

105: Been underweight?

106: Been to a wedding?

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

109: Been outside my home country?

110: Gotten my heart broken?

111: Been to a professional sports game?

112: Broken a bone?

113: Cut myself?

114: Been to prom?

115: Been in airplane?

116: Fly by helicopter?

117: What concerts have I been to?

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

119: Learned another language?

120: Wore make up?

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

122: Had oral sex?

123: Dyed my hair?

124: Voted in a presidential election?

125: Rode in an ambulance?

126: Had a surgery?

127: Met someone famous?

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

129: Peed outside?

130: Been fishing?

131: Helped with charity?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

133: Broken a mirror?

134: What do I want for birthday?

[skylera]

We the Kinky...

We the Kinky, of the BDSM Culture, in order to form a more Unified society, establish Safe Sane and Consensual, insure Tolerance, provide awareness against Predators, promote general Wellbeing, and secure the blessings of Knowledge to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Guideline for the Sexually Liberated.

Guidelines of Liberation:

1.  Protect yourself - You are the first and last defense for your well being, take the time and effort to know who you are playing with. Vetting someone is not telling them you don’t trust them, it’s telling them that you care about yourself. If they have a problem with this, they may not have your best interests at heart. Additionally, Safewords are a valuable method of communication. Assign no stigma to them, (you are not ruining a scene, or disappointing your partner, by using them) as they can prevent problems; physical, mental and emotional.

2.  Inform Yourself - There are many resources for beginners and advanced alike, FIND THEM! Knowledge and furthering your education about kinks will allow you to get more out of your time and allow you to explore new things. It will also help you communicate your needs with a partner (or potential)

3.  Know Yourself - While the fantasy that your partner knows you better than you do is great. It is almost never the case early on. Know what drives you, why you choose this lifestyle. What you wish to gain or give. Know what is important to you, and what you need from it.

4.  Choose your own Identity - never let someone else tell you who or what you are. Labels can be a trap or even be misleading If you feel you are “something” then don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. For some even having an “Identity” is limiting, so remember that “Choosing not to decide, is still a choice” (and an option)

5.  Choose your own Limits - Your limits are exactly that, YOURS. You decide what you Will Not do, or Must Have, in your relationships. No one else can make that determination for you. You certainly CAN choose to have no limits with a trusted partner, but that is YOUR choice, not theirs.

6.  Choose your own Kink - Enjoy what you enjoy… It’s OK… You are free to be you. Don’t hesitate to experiment, Read, LEARN. But above all, be kind and true to yourself.

7.  Communicate, Communicate, Communicate - Mind reading is not possible. Knowing a person so deeply that you can read or predict them is. But that usually takes years of… you guessed it… Communication.  You have to learn how to communicate; your needs, your desires, your fears… even if it’s a crayon drawing, make the effort to make yourself understood. This will only benefit your relationships.

8.  Protect your Partner(s) - There are times when someone has placed trust in you. Those times are when they are most vulnerable. This is true for both sides of the slash. Sometimes you can push yourself beyond your own limits “for the sake of your partner” and it’s possible they are doing the same. This scenario can end badly. Simple “yellow” safewords (by either side) can mean the difference between a good scene and a bad one. Additionally, knowing their medical or special needs is critical.

9.  Protect your Friends - Be there for them, to talk to, to confide in, on the watch for red flags they may miss. Pay attention to who is approaching them at public gatherings, require communications from them before they leave with people they did not arrive with. Be their safe call.  We all have the potential to miss important tells when the NRE (New Relationship Energy) kicks in. Since you are on the outside, your feedback and watchfulness may make the difference one day… Likewise, be ready to accept this same input from another trusted friend.

10. Protect your Community - Be aware of, and Follow, the rules and policies of any venue, Public or Private. Do not Create or Bring Drama to public venues, sometimes it’s unavoidable, so work closely with the venue’s administration to minimize this. Creating problems, or failing to follow established rules and guidelines can get venues closed or create undesired law enforcement interdiction. Don’t be that person.

11. Accept the Variety - Remember that your kink is not everyone else’s just as theirs may not be yours. Be kind and remember that we all have different tastes with the same mantra of Safe, Sane, and Consensual. If we cannot be accepting of each other in this community, we certainly should not expect those outside our realm to accept us.

12. Cause no Harm - Never knowingly out someone, spread rumors about others, or do anything to undermine another relationship (except #8 above). It’s simply bad form. Again, don’t be that person.

-Grymjahk

[skylera]

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Kinky Fantasy Land (NSFW)

I don't know what kind of sensorship tumblr has so maybe this post won't be up for very long, maybe it will be fine? Anyway, if you are under 18, or not into BDSM or Kink, please scroll past this post, it's not for you. Other people? Come on in! I'm looking forward to your input on this idea.

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Okay, so I've heard this idea in quite a few places, but never really thought much about it past, "Wow, that could be hot". What about a realistic BDSM Island where kinksters could practice peacefully and openly?

So I have some ideas, and I hope sharing them with you will get you to comment your own ideas as well! So, what if there was was an Island that was its own separate country, its own laws, and the purpose of the island would be to provide people the place to openly practice the BDSM lifestyle without having to worry about criticism or breaking the law? You can have kinky AF bumper stickers. You can paint a kinky mural on the fence of your property. You could walk your pet outside and she doesn't even need to be clothed. Oh look, your neighbor is tied up in that tree naked for everyone to see! and that's perfectly fine! Oh, and what about having some of the best walk-in kinky sex shops in the world right there in your town/state? Multiple varieties, multiple sellers to choose from, you can test and shop for taboo toys without a care in the world of what others would think of you. Kinky basics such as ropes, gags, and cuffs would be in any basic store like walmart. Shopping with a ballgag in your mouth? You don't need to be afraid to show it! Or shopping cuffed? And bruises won't be so sus to others anymore! And no doctors are gonna blink an eye when they are trying to get out that candle that went too far in your ass!

Now, of course not every practitioners will like the same stuff or be at the same level of kink. So maybe there should be a separate part of the island where those who want to practice kink but in less of a extreme way could do so without being unwillingly exposed to some of the darker aspects of BDSM?

Also, what about those who want to get into it, or to get more into it, but don't know how? Wouldn't it be great if some experienced BDSM practitioners could set up shop as trainers?

And we could also have meeting places for people to go to find a partner who would have similar interests. Maybe there would be a code they can read to tell what the other is into? Maybe pins or something they can wear?

Also, how would you go about being admitted into this country? I think that because trust and consent are such important parts of the lifestyle, those should be prioritized. Perhaps in order to get a Visa, you will have to have a background check and have no felonies within the last three years, no allegations of abuse or harassment in the last two years, or something like that. Anyone caught abusing their partner should be banned from the island.

Perhaps there would be a shoreside resort where people can go if they want to be kinky but just for a short time, kind of as a vacation type thing? Just a place for people to stay who don't want to be there full time, yet still want to be able to be openly kinky while they are there.

There should be safe centers for subs to go to, to get help if their Dom is being abusive. There should also be a place for Doms can go if they have an abusive sub. There should be programs made to help practitioners get out of unhealthy relationships and transition into being autonomous.

Of course this can only be fantasy for now, but wouldn't it be great to have a place where cuffs and collars were the fashion and you could be as kinky as you want, anywhere, anyhow? If it was a real island, how do you think its government would be structured? What kind of things do you think people would do there? In what ways do you think life would be improved or more exciting if you lived in a place like this? Should a place like this exist? Your input is needed!

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Getting In Touch with Kinesthetic Hypnosis (Class Notes)

Description: Lots of us do lots of our hypnosis via the internet, listening to files and reading from the same old scripts. But how do you hypnotize people who prefer the physical to the auditory (listening to your soothing voice) or the visual (fixating on your shiny pocket-watch)? And what kind of fun, whacky ways can you hypnotize someone when you get the chance to do it in person? Kinesthetic hypnosis—that is, hypnosis focused on the body—is a great tool to have in your toolbox. Come learn some fun ways to trance more body-oriented subjects, and explore the world of possibilities of trancing someone via physical interaction.

This class talks about some principles of kinesthetic hypnosis, and goes over a grab-bag of techniques and tricks that you can use to create your own body-rockin’ kinesthetic inductions! This class is primarily hypnotist-directed, but subjects are welcome as well; hopefully everyone will come away with neat ideas to use in their hypno-play.

Intro/Preamble

I’m a dancer/singer + physicality: do a lot of this intuitively

This is a class on INDUCTIONS, not so much suggestions

Mostly addressing tops, hope bottoms get stuff out of it too

What IS KH?

Hypnosis centered around physical sensation / the body

Includes: motion, texture, proprioception (awareness of body in space), breath, heaviness/lightness, sensation in 1+ body parts, temperature…

One of 3 main “modalities”, let’s review:

3 basic modalities: kinesthetic, auditory, visual (tho there are others). We talk about most ppl being esp. strong in 1+ of these…

Grain of salt, most ppl middle of bell curve and have some comfort with all… but can be useful tool for reasoning about diff kinds of inductions

How tell KH might work well for someone:

they tell you so

you do an induction with a little of everything (e.g. modified cerbone butterfly) and give them options, and they are visibly more affected by the physical stuff (or tell you so later)

lots of ppl like KH cuz it seems more direct, less cerebral (so can be esp. Neat for analytical subjects / people historically not in touch w/ their bodies, as much as for ppl who generally are.)

if someone has done a lot of online/long distance hypno, they may not have experienced KH, so worth a shot!

When in doubt, scattershot – mix in everything, give them options (and check in after about whether this feels effective)

KH hard to discuss on its own: there are kinesthetic elements to all our (least) fave inductions:

Progressive relaxation

Elman: eye catalepsy, arm drop

Cerbone butterfly (hand wiggle)

Handshake induction

Eye fixation: eye fatigue/blinking

visualization: sprinkle in physical components as well (eg beach: “feel the sand in your toes” etc)

…and also visual/verbal elements in even specifically kinesth. Inductions

Can do not-necessarily-kinesthetic inductions (like the above) with a kinesthetic bent/emphasis, OR specifically kinesthetic stuff, where the primary focus IS on the body.

This class = kinesthetic toolbox tips and tricks that can be used for KH-specific inductions or to add kinesth. elems to any induction

My goals for this class: you come away with some specific tricks, but more importantly, some framework for KH so that you can make up your own

Focus > Relaxation

hypnosis is a hyperfocused state; relaxation is a subset of focus on the body (i.e. it’s more about the focus than the relaxation)

tl/dr: kinesthetic hypnosis is all about focusing the subject on their body/on the physical

Esp. ppl newer to hypno are used to thinking of it as being about relaxation, but it’s NOT – it’s about focus, of which relaxation is a subset.

Focus on relaxing, a visualization, a touch, a kiss, sensation, motion, pleasure, pain… basically you can make a kinesthetic induction out of any way you can get someone to focus on their body

To show you that the focus is more important than the relaxing (insert hair-pull induction demo here)

other D/s inductions: choking, slapping, getting up in their space

Doesn’t have to involve physical interaction

Just about focusing on body! A lot of the things i demo will be touch-based but a lot won’t; remember that you can do KH when not proximal/with a partner w/ whom you haven’t negotiated touch

Safety/expectations

Dangers of flopping (DON’T DROP YOUR SUBJECT)

ask if they’re floppy! i.e. liable to fall over. If yes, be ready to catch them / have them sit down or even lie down. (even if they say no, still be on alert)

maintain enough contact with them that can feel if falling, direct their motion into you

position your body btwn them and the ground

patter to the effect of: “easily able to stay upright and in control of your body”

Negotiate touching

don’t assume! Negotiate this explicitly!

If they don’t give you permission to touch somewhere that you’d have to catch them if they flop, check in about that. If they’re really not okay being touched there when falling, maybe they should lie down etc.

For subj’s:

What does trance feel like in your body?

Good indicator of trance – worth it to take some time to figure out what trance feels like for you so you can use it as an indicator

harder to psych yourself out about than mental indicators

Respect your own physical limits! Can still play w/ this stuff with no/minimal touch

speak up about things that hurt, don’t feel right, aren’t working (incl bad metaphors)

Know your flop tendencies and communicate to your top

Grab-bag of tips, tricks, techniques:

Use natural body tendencies against them (i.e. credit for stuff happening anyway)

why take credit for stuff that’s happening anyway?

“quick win”; it’s less likely that these will go sideways. esp good for subjects doubting their ability to be tranced

build conscious and unconscious credibility (“they said X would happen, and it’s happening! they must know stuff!”)

“omg the Hypnosis is Working™!”

examples

Holding arm up and feeling it get heavier (cuz it’s tiring to hold your arm up forever)

finger steeple

Eyes blinking/fatigue

NOTE: escape hatches: if it’s not working, don’t force it, be willing to re-route

e.g. finger steeple doesn’t move automatically together: instead make it about how slowly they can consciously bring them together (still v. focused on body/movement)

e.g. they’re cataleptic and arm doesn’t sink:

focus on the sensations that are there / switch to floaty language

guide it down for them

give them something to push against

Breath

Good focus

many ppl used to using breath to relax

(not relaxing for everyone tho! some people overthink it.)

Natural thing body does (ease of trance metaphor)

Can also stall w/ breath (put your subj on autopilot): “Take a moment to breathe. Feel how every breath relaxes you…”

to use your breath to pace your induction, underscore points

e.g. exhale to signal relax, down, release of tension.

Great to pair with physical vocab of “down” (will discuss in a sec)

Sync up w/ subject’s breath (one kind of mirroring)

Builds rapport/makes them feel like you’re paying attention

When in rhythm together, can start to lead (e.g. slowing down your own breathing)

Signaling hypnotic intent

With verbal hypnosis, intent often obvious. With physical hypnosis, need to signal the intent to hypnotize (esp. if it’s a kind of touch you might do normally)

Ways to do this:

Eye contact / intense focus on subject

Getting in their space

Change your physical affect, esp. to something slow, still

Super neat to go from extra high energy to slow, still, commanding top-space

75% of hypno is focus on subject; to see where they’re at, micro-adjust what is/isn’t working, but also to make them feel paid attention to

(this is also part of what’s so connective, and so hot)

Physical cues for tranciness

presses, tugs, etc. that signal “down” and weight

Signals down/heavy/trance, but also calls attention to the touch/the body–focus! For instance:

press down on shoulder

raise arm up and then press it down

signal arm loose and heavy and take the weight of it so can lower it slowly down

arm drop

trust fall

for a first time subject: “When I say ‘down’ / ‘deeper’ i mean…”

(i.e. “down” isn’t INHERENTLY trancy, it’s a learned association; so for a beginner, explain it)

Escape hatch: what if someone trances light/floaty instead of heavy/down?

Rocking also good: soothing, relaxing, focusing, repetitive

Posing also focusing

All this is metaphor for “don’t have to do anything” / “let me take control”

which can be D/s-y and hot

Small movements require more/different focus. Explore micro vs macro mvts

Can establish shared physical vocabulary

e.g. up and down – stroke up/down the arm

first few times, pair it with explanation and words, then pare away the words, soon all you’ll need is the gesture.

Great set-up for non-verbals!

good for stalling :P what to do when you need a sec to think?

physical “patter” – rocking, stroking, playing with hair, etc.

showing the desired state in your body

tops often get a little trancy from all the focus; can capitalize on this to demonstrate tranciness to your subject

See “mirroring” above

Ambiguous touch – very light touch, tapping, etc.

basically, confusion induction via touch

novel physical sensations draw more focus

Handshake inductions

We all know surprise inductions are fun, but please negotiate them!

“Pattern interrupt” : take a well-known pattern (a handshake) and do something weird instead so their brain goes “whaa…??”

A few diff kinds:

Handshake and grip them extra firmly to still them: interrupt by making everything still and slow

Handshake and slowly draw your hand out of theirs, a la ambiguous touch from above

Handshake and manipulate their arm so bends at the elbow, their hand coming towards their face. Guide their hand towards their face, patter about focusing on the hand and/or motion.

idk, make something up! as long as you interrupt the pattern of a normal handshake interaction

For all of these, biggest thing is signaling hypnotic intent!

Kinesthetic hypnosis w/o touch (e.g. over skype, or subject who doesn’t want to be touched)

Focus on the body! Draw attention to body parts, sensations, textures, whatever

Esp. interesting/weird/novel/counterintuitive sensations that take more focus, work almost like confusion inductions

IMAGINING motion, sensation, etc. works the same parts of the brain in re: kinesthetic hypnosis

Doing things slowly, lightly, etc. = great for drawing focus

E.g. see how slowly you can lower your arm, blink, etc.

“Use body against them” from above

Many things you might do to a subj – ask them to do to themselves

E.g. rocking, hair pull, arm drop

Nonverbals

For most of the stuff above, just take out the language and it works fine! Esp. with experienced subjects who have an expectation for where they’re going

Might feel silly; but all about attention + intent!

pay close attention to subject and micro-adjust to meet them where they are, capitalize on what’s working

give them signs that they’re doing what you want

show desired state in your body

For new subjects: nonverbals are harder b/c don’t have a clear idea of where they’re going. But can probably work with sufficient verbal setup. ESP: what trance does/doesn’t feel like, so they can feel confident that they’re going into trance.

Kinesthetic suggestions and how to improve them

Describe sensation in as many different ways as possible–increases chance that one of your descriptions will work for the subj.

Appeal to other senses too e.g. visualize fly paper sticking you to something

have them conjure up/experience the sensation while in trance (easier than while waking, and if it’s a waking suggestion they have a head start)

Do the thing as describing it to cement it/anchor

sometimes adjacent sensations/more abstract things easier to call up/imagine

e.g. maybe don’t feel an ice cube but feel goosebumps

can also be emotional reactions:

maybe you don’t literally feel a hand on your clit but you feel the excitement/pleasure

instead of a literal hand on your throat, feel the freeze up and focus etc.

Let it be abstract/different from real life

Everyone experiences kinesthetic hallucinations different, ppl experience it more or less viscerally, and that’s okay! Doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

But also, this is a practice-able skill

Wrap-up: What now? How do I practice?

Go do the thing! And: get feedback!

Have it done to you, take note of what’s effective/intriguing

Practice gestures to get it into your muscle memory (can practice this non-trancily)

Moving together, being in tune; micro-leading/following

(…take a partner dance class?)

Handshake induction

how to signal catalepsy vs. flop vs. …

Keep thinking of fun new ways to focus ppl on the physical! Can use basically any sensation/physical exp. as focal point, so get creative!