skythecryptid

[skythecryptid]

just because a guy has gay sex and falls in love with men doesn’t make him gay

[skythecryptid]

tumblr feed me a snack

[skythecryptid]

[skythecryptid]

i just destroyed every road that leads to rome

[skythecryptid]

[skythecryptid]

I P address? baby it’s called the bathroom 😂

[skythecryptid]

If you have any dirty dishes in your room can you please just eat one of them? just one dish. you'll feel so much better. eat your ceramics

[skythecryptid]

fun drinking game!

EVERY TIME this post comes up on your dash, you HAVE to take a big ol’ gulp of WATER you dehydrated dumbass.

reblog to share the fun with your friends!

[skythecryptid]

the other elves welcoming Legolas in Valinor

[skythecryptid]

admit it. you’re mad at me for secreting a black sludge that turned all the animals into bigger scarier animals

[skythecryptid]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[skythecryptid]

GO TO YOUR FAVORITE SEARCH ENGINE AND TYPE "PUPPIES" AND GO TO THE IMAGES TAB TRUST ME!!!

[skythecryptid]

has the spirit of the Trader Joe taken the people i follow

[skythecryptid]

hey, my wraith saw you from across the dungeon and wanted to know if he was cool to touch you with his long-ass skeletal ice finger

[skythecryptid]

my love for you is like the moon; it controls the tides somehow through a mechanism i don’t entirely understand

[skythecryptid]

bad news kitten it looks like we're dying at sea

[skythecryptid]

Go my scarab