slackingatwork420

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I’d be worried why Bateman jumped into your head to make a tumblr post

patrick bateman: *licks a strawberry icecream he got from an icecream truck* hm yummy ice cream

his internal monologue: look at me . eating processed flavoring. There is no strawberry in here. It’s but a pastiche of the real deal. An ice cream with artificial flavoring, a momentary joy. Tested countless times in a lab, masquerading as if it’s authentic, genuine. Me and a strawberry icecream are alike in that sense: gentle on the outside, palatable and unassuming. The only difference is that I don’t come with nutrition facts advising of any warning signs concerned parents will scan over, and by the time I strike, itll be too late

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Omg 😳, when will this happen to me 😭?

tipping

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her name is Luna!

(SHE/HER) 🐆🏳️‍⚧️🌙

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Happy pride month

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What about straight pride??

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Yall are actual demons wtf. Gonna have to sleep with one eye open when I have children 😹

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It's only been 3 days and they already targeted an Iranian hospital. they had to, of course, targeting hospitals is Israel's trademark

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Dunno how to put it properly into words but lately I find myself thinking more about that particular innocence of fairy tales, for lack of better word. Where a traveller in the middle of a field comes across an old woman with a scythe who is very clearly Death, but he treats her as any other auntie from the village. Or meeting a strange green-skinned man by the lake and sharing your loaf of bread with him when he asks because even though he's clearly not human, your mother's last words before you left home were to be kind to everyone. Where the old man in the forest rewards you for your help with nothing but a dove feather, and when you accept even such a seemingly useless reward with gratitude, on your way home you learn that it's turned to solid gold. Where supernatural beings never harm a person directly and every action against humans is a test of character, and every supernatural punishment is the result of a person bringing on their own demise through their own actions they could have avoided had they changed their ways. Where the hero wins for no other reason than that they were a good person. I don't have the braincells to describe this better right now but I wish modern fairy tales did this more instead of trying to be fantasy action movies.

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This website sometimes seems to think that leftism is when you can buy cheap things, and the cheaper they are, the more leftist it is. I really don't know how to explain the world to people like that.

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I call this the killmonger

can we stop doing this trope

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twitter is hell but i really hope it doesn’t actually die because this is in contention for the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life

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This happened a while ago, but I just remembered it lol

For those that don’t know

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sleeping when it’s cold: deepest peace imaginable, opportunity to bury yourself in blankets and indulge in the ancient mammalian instinct to curl up and sleep somewhere warm and dark and enclosed, instant and dreamless rest

sleeping when it’s even slightly warm: torturous, only options are kicking off blankets and feeling horribly exposed or laying in your own sweat, impossible to get comfortable, exhausting and demoralizing sisyphean task

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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"