sleepinginaflowerbed - Tumblr blog

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

I think it's hilarious that hands down the worst way to learn magic is the actual rulebook. Please do not read that. It's just there for reference when something weird happens

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

i hate people who know chess. “i’m moving my rook to c2” okay man. i’m driving down I-65

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

i hate people who know highways. “i’m heading south on I-65” okay man. i’m moving my rook to c2

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

me watching old music videos on youtube for three hours straight

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

dont worry!

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

hm apparently there's public sex discourse going on right now. i cannot imagine a less qualified group of people to talk about both being in public and having sex than tumblr.com users

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

captain picker isgonna finger himself

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

does anyone hve any sin recommendations i just fell from the garden of eden five seconds ago

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

right next to the remnants of the ozymandias statue theres a smaller pristine statue with a bunch of people around it cleaning and repairing it and looking after it and its a statue of me and the inscription says 'aww who me I aint nothin special :3'

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

well i don't wanna do that.

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

[sleepinginaflowerbed]

tbh i was kinda disappointed the first time i sucked a dick. idk what i expected it to taste like but i was just like “oh okay”