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[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

a very sexy thing:

when the subtitles tells you the name of the song that’s playing 

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

All of a sudden it’s possible for disabled people to work from home.

All of a sudden it’s possible for elderly people to have designated, assisted shopping hours.

All of a sudden the internet is a utility.

All of a sudden we realize that we can live without watching LeBron James bounce a ball for a few weeks, but minimum wage retail and food service and grocery workers are indispensable to the function of our society.

Interesting.

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

we rlly went from 20gayteen to 20biteen to 20quarantine

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

I don’t know where this is from, but I found it in a thread on Facebook and I am CRYING

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

PSA: stop putting time limits on your goals. It’s not too late. Ur not too old. You didn’t miss your chance. Ur exactly where ur meant to be. You still have time. You still can do it! So go buddy. I’m rooting for yaaa!!!

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

YOU hate Autism Speaks!

[Image Description: Two images set to the background of a flag with three stripes; the upper and lower stripes are both light red, the middle stripe is a darker red. The first image is a stock image of a dark haired, olive skinned woman wearing a red t-shirt pointing at the viewer with a smile. The second image has the Autism Speaks logo crossed out with a ‘no’ sign. End Description.]

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

ON THIS BLOG WE LOVE AND SUPPORT AUTISTIC ARO AND ACE PEOPLE

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

Here is your regularly scheduled reminder:

Queer is a whole and complete identity in itself.

Queer is an identity with a rich and complex history.

Queer people do not have to further clarify or explain their identities unless they choose to.

You are not owed the specific details of a queer persons identity if the person doesn’t want to share those details with you.

Literally, demanding that a person share details about their gender and/or sexuality that they aren’t ready to share (or may not have even figured out yet) because not knowing makes you “uncomfy” is invasive, creepy, and entitled as fuck.

Coming out as queer is perfectly valid–and no less significant or important than coming out as lesbian or gay is.

People who identity only as queer are every bit as much a part of our communities as lesbian and gay people are.

Discourse about a queer person’s identity and whether or not a queer person is “reALly LgBT” or not is queerphobia. Full stop.

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

scroll down for a pupper

APRIL FOOLS! IT WAS A KITTY INSTEAD!!

Hope everyone has a scare-free April Fools day! ^^

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

reblog this if your blog is a safe space on april fools and won’t have any jumpers, screamers, or anything scary or anxiety inducing

My blog won’t have any “pranks” either.

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

Me lately

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

it's tdov so I drew this to celebrate and also I love snails

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

Hey friendly reminder that this blog will be 100% safe on april 1st.

No screamers

No scares

No false info

Have a nice day, ok?

(This post is not a joke)

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

My attention span is either ten seconds or ten hours there is no in between

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

it’s okay to admit that you were wrong. it means you’ve learned and grown stronger

[sleepy-autistic-gremlin]

Hey, friends!

With April around the corner,

I want to ask of you, whoever may be reading this,

to please not support, send money to, share or otherwise participate in anything related to Autism Speaks in the month of April, 

or ever, for that matter.

Autism Speaks may look like a good organization on the outside, but they’re not the perfect puzzle their media makes you think they are (see what I did there?).

For example:

-More than 96% of their money goes to “autism research”, fundraising, supporting “families with autism”, and not to actual autistic people themselves (link to source here: http://www.rootpolicy.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/AutismSpeaksFlyer_color_2017-1.pdf).

-Autism Speaks is searching a cure for autism (what their research money goes to), which causes harm to autistic people who are treated with things like ABA therapy (which Autism Speaks endorses) to appear “normal”.

-Autism Speaks’ fundraising team made a horrific videos called “I Am Autism” and “Autism Every Day”. The former compared autism to cancer & diabetes and makes out autistic people as something to be feared (link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UgLnWJFGHQ), and the latter includes a woman talking about wanting to murder her child because she is autistic (link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0vCz2KWMM0) (Please watch at your own risk.)

-The origin of the infamous puzzle piece logo comes from the myth that autism is a “boy’s disease” (hence the blue color & Light It Up Blue campaign), that only children can be autistic (hence the infantilizing image & color palette), and that autistic people are puzzles to be figured out and solved.

-Autism Speaks doesn’t actually consult autistic people. In their history, only two people on their Board of Directors have been autistic, and one of them, an author, resigned, realizing his mistake (link to his statement about his resignation here: http://jerobison.blogspot.com/2013/11/i-resign-my-roles-at-autism-speaks.html).

I could go on and on, but these are the most important reasons to not want anything to do with this organization.

I know for many of you, this was the support you were given after your child’s/sibling’s diagnosis and you weren’t made aware of any other organization to help you. I understand that. I blindly believed they were good too.

But the truth of the matter is, they’re not.

If you want to support autistic people, support organizations like Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (autisticadvocacy.org) who make the voices of autistic people the most important when discussing our rights and our freedoms.

Autism Speaks does none of this. If anything, they make our voices the most quiet when they should be the loudest.

If you don’t have an autistic relative, or aren’t autistic yourself, you may be wondering: “What can I do?”

And to that, I say: share our stories. Listen to what we have to say. Ask questions if you don’t understand. Don’t assume that this doesn’t apply to you. Odds are, you know someone who is autistic, even if they may not even know it themselves, or you will know someone who is autistic.

The more you educate yourself the right way, the better off you will be in the future, and the more you will be helping your loved ones around you.

Trust me on this one.