sleepylaing

[sleepylaing]

Sometimes the world turns red.

His nails leave crescent-shaped marks on flawless skin as his palms clench into fists. His wounded heart thumps exhaustively against his ribs, wailing and singing its unbridled symphony he could never decipher. His ribs crack, insides clenching as the hidden beast inside thrashes against them and howls, begging to be free.

Cold blood boils.

Everything in front of his eyes is red. Disgusting. Unbearable and blinding.

Suo clenches his jaws, almost hearing his teeth grind. His eyes swim before him, blurring. He can't hear anything. Only the squeak of the beast's claws against the confined cage and the terrible howl.

His rage is scarlet. It's not beautiful or poetic at all, as it seems.

It's frightening.

And he hates it with all his soul.

Suo clenches his fists tighter and holds his breath - and maybe time stops in the world. He counts to three.

One. Blood runs through his swollen veins. Slower. Again. Slower.

Two. The pounding of his heart still drowns out everything else. He tries to hear something inside him other than a feral howl.

Three.

The clasp of the ice chain snaps.

The collar snaps around the beast's neck. With one last hard slam against the bars, it gives up and returns to the far corner of the cage.

Suo breathes.

The world temporarily regains its colors.

The hated red remains flickering at the bottom of his eye.

[sleepylaing]

Énouement [5]

“Uhm... thank you,” she says shyly, running her eyes over your uniform until she finds your name tag, “Akashi-kun... right?”

You give her a perplexed look. Huh? Why are her cheeks so red? Is she that worried?

a/n: so it's finally here. sorry if i made anyone wait too long. just for some reason this chapter got really difficult for me and i couldn't bring myself to finish it. i haven't really proofread this, so i apologize for any mistakes. hope you understand. enjoy!

← previous chapter

ch. 5. koi no yokan

You open your eyes, breathing heavily. The remnants of the images from your dream are still imprinted on the your eyelids. You gulp down the scream you never heard. Your throat is dry. Droplets of sweat glisten on your forehead. Your eyes dart from side to side, lost in thought.

You see a couple of figures near you. You make out blond hair, chaotic steps from side to side and you can almost feel the clatter of his teeth against each other:

“Whatdowedowhatdowedowhatdowedowhatdowedo it's all my fault.”

You make out ginger hair, muscular arms resting at his sides, a low voice:

“Should we go to the hospital?”

“Surely he should go to the hospital! After something like that, you think he's just going to get up and go home like nothing happened? Of course he has to go to the hospital!”

In the emotional, slightly nervous voice, you recognize Sakura.

A low wheeze escapes from your throat. You cough painfully. Your eyes are still blurry in front of you, the back of your head still throbbing, but you must convince yourself.

“Nirei... chan... are you... okay?”

The taut thread of silence that's lingered between the guys since you started coughing finally breaks. They all call out to you at once, and you wince at the ringing in your ears.

“Even in this state, you're going to worry about others and not yourself, Akashi-chan?” Kiryu asks with a sigh. His eyes reveal something soft, regretful, incomprehensive.

Nirei stops his thrashing and hurries to crouch down next to you - you were in a lying position, sprawled out on something warm: what exactly, you decide to find out later.

“I'm sorry, Akashi-san, I'm so, so , so sorry. I'm the reason you got hurt. Because I was weak, they hurt you. I'm really, really-”

“What are you apologizing for?”

He looks at you with his big honey-colored glass eyes. Stares-with infinite guilt in his eyes. With a terrifyingly large amount of regret. With horror.

Unharmed. Alive. At this point, that's all you care about.

“But-”

“I would do that again.”

An exhausted sob. Thin tracks of tears stream from reddened eyes. Akihiko pitches toward you. Rests his head on your stomach, sprawling out in a loud wail. You tense up at first, but then relax, placing your hands on his shoulders affectionately and letting him cry. Stupid, stupid Nirei.

“I'm sorry,” he rises awkwardly after a while, wiping away tears and blushing in embarrassment. You want to tell him again not to dare apologize, but you're interrupted by a sulking Haruka.

“That's all well and good of course, but we kinda need to go to the hospital... or whatever we decided to go to,” he mutters, pretending he wasn't looking at you with bulging eyes the whole time.

“No. I hate hospitals,” you say, and everyone squints at you in disbelief.

“B-but...” Nirei begins.

“I'm fine, really. It just... It hurts a little. It'll go away in a couple days, I'm sure.”

“You're out of your mind!” exclaims Tsugeura, splashing his arms.

“Think of us, Akashi-chan. We were worried about you,” Mitsuki says. “Suo-chan got really angry. He almost finished off everyone there. It's a good thing we had our captain.”

You blink stupidly. Forget to take another breath. Turn around slowly. And can barely keep from flinching.

A dark scarlet eye followed you continuously. Every move you made. Every breath you take. You meet his unblinking gaze, timidly looking over his porcelain face. The tightly compressed lips, the chiseled chin, the neat eyebrows, the black eyepatch. When Suo realizes you're looking at him too, a fire flashes in his eye. He tilts his head to his shoulder and continues to silently burn you with his gaze. You feel like your hair is starting to smoke.

You swallow hard. So that's what — now that's who — you've been lying on all this time.

That's whose gaze has been burning the back of your head all this time.

Unconsciously, the first thing you try to do is pull away. Warm fingers only strengthen their grip on your waist. After a couple more failed attempts, you give up.

“Are you sure, Akashi-kun?” a sharp note slips into his voice. On your name, he puts special emphasis. “They hurt you pretty badly”.

Inwardly, you cheer with relief. A few more seconds of such silent stares would have been unbearable.

“Yes,” you nod, “I have bandages at home. And ointment. I can handle it,” you add, looking at him pleadingly. If Hayato decides to drag you to the hospital himself, you're not likely to turn away. Somehow, you're sure he can.

For a while longer, he just stares at you. Tenderness flickers in his gaze for a second, and he covers his eyelid, dropping his chin in defeat.

“Fine,” he agrees, and somewhere in the background Tsugeura clucks indignantly, “We won't go there now. On the condition that you go there anyway. Tomorrow.”

Your shoulders slump relaxed. You moo in agreement, not objecting. Tomorrow is good. You'll have time to treat your wounds and tie the bandages on your chest tighter.

“Are you sure you'll be okay?” Nirei asks cautiously.

“Mhm,” you moo, “I've had worse, don't worry. I once had my skull almost fractured and broke a couple of fingers, but made it home alive!”

“How is that supposed to reassure us?!”

***

After convincing the guys that you'll be fine, you slowly walked back to your apartment while they went to report to Umemiya. Walking a little further, you look around to make sure they've definitely all gone into the diner and no one is following you.

Only then do you finally allow yourself to hiss quietly in pain and sit down on the nearest bench, tucking the pant on your left leg. There was a shallow cut beneath it. Looks like you twisted your ankle in the fight, too. You were lucky Suo had refused to let go of your arm on the way back, or you would have collapsed right there.

That's not good. How are you gonna get to work like that?

Even though you told the guys you'd lay down and not get up for at least a couple more days, you couldn't take the day off. You couldn't afford to lose money. After all, much, much worse things did happen to you, but you never gave yourself a break. You couldn't afford to feel sorry for yourself.

When you barely make it home, you take a quick shower and untie the blood-soaked bandages. You fearfully touch the back of your head. It hurts. You blindly treat it, change into a loose white shirt down to your knees, and finally fall onto the hard futon.

No sleep in either eye. Too much has happened. You stare blankly at the old cracked ceiling. It's quiet. Dead quiet. So quiet it makes your ears pop. So quiet you want to scream. You feel something wet running down your left cheek. The right one stays dry.

You're confused. You don't understand.

When you came to Makochi, you were looking for nothing but refuge. A quiet place to live your quiet, worthless life. A place where no one would know you. A place where no one would look for you. A place where you didn't owe anyone. A place where you weren't tied to anyone.

You wanted to walk down the street without attracting stares. Wanted to work at a normal job. Wanted to live without constant fear for yourself and what was left of your family.

You didn't want to find new weaknesses. New friends.

But today seems to have proved just the opposite.

Stupid.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

Attached.

Ridiculously fast. Terribly easy. To the point where you were willing to sacrifice herself. To the point where you never regretted it.

You let out a muffled chuckle. It's not funny at all. Your rotten heart clenches in your chest. You close your eyes again. That's enough sentimentality for today.

The crescent moon mocks you again, peeking out of the window.

You haven't slept this night.

***

You didn't go to school for the next week. The boys calmed down only after you sent them a picture of yourself in front of the hospital walls. The rest of the time you were dealing with money problems and working off your absences at the bar. Your boss was already unhappy that you didn't show up for work the day of the fight with KEEL and the day after, so you also had to stay overtime and help clean up the whole place.

You even had to break up a fight once. You were helping in the kitchen when suddenly you heard a strange commotion in the hall. At first you wanted to pretend you hadn't heard, hoping one of your coworkers would deal with it, but when you heard the angry shouts and the clinking of dishes, you realized it couldn't go on like this, and with a heavy sigh you went into the hall. Two girls — maybe a couple years older than you — were shivering, huddled together. In front of them stood two big burly men with evil grins on their faces. One of them was holding a purse carelessly.

That's the last thing you need. Technically, it wasn't your turn to keep an eye on the guests and stuff, so it wasn't really your concern. But your boss was still a little pissed at you, so he could ticket you for broken plates and other damages he made up. You sigh quietly again. You'll have to intervene.

What a hassle.

While you were walking here, you managed to hear a little of their dialog. Something about "give me your number", "not dating", and the following insults of not the mildest content. All in all, you get the picture.

You take a deep breath and put on a friendly smile. At least you try. Your colleague once told you that you shouldn't serve customers with a face like a brick.

“Dear guests,” you say loud enough to get their attention. “I think these lovely ladies have already made it clear they don't want to get acquainted.”

Four pairs of eyes turn on you in an instant. One is angry, mocking. The other, surprised, hopeful. You don't raise an eyebrow: already used to it.

“Huh? Who are you? An errand boy?” one of them asks.

“If you like it that way,” you reply with a smile, not the least bit hurt. Those were right to some extent. You didn't care what they said anyway.

Upon hearing it, they laugh nastily. You wait patiently for them to finish.

“And what are you going to do to us, boy? Kick us out? Hit us with the mop you use to wipe up the shit behind your mom?”

“The first one was correct,” you reply calmly. “I'm asking you to leave this place right now.”

“Wipe your snot first,” replies the man who was holding someone else's bag. But s second later, a wide grin suddenly appears on his face.

“Listen! Okay, we'll spare you today and leave,” he says, reaching his hand out to one of the girls. “Birdies, let's go.”

She recoiled fearfully. “We said we're not going anywhere with you!”

“Are you feeling bold, bitch?” he snarled. You notice his hand reaching out to hit her. The girl closed her eyes, clenching in fear.

In a flash, you're already at her side and effortlessly catching his fist. It freezes inches from her dazed face. The man's hand twitches, but you only clutch his wrist tighter, not letting him move.

Veins swell on the man's forehead. “Aren't you fucking nuts?” he growls angrily. You feel him boil over.

“I don't like repeating myself twice.”

“I could fire you from this shithole with one sound, fucker!” he shouts, yanking your hand from your iron grip again. Only on the third try do you let him.

You couldn't care less.

“I'm afraid that will already be up to my boss to decide, not you.”

The girls behind you gasp in surprise when the two men lunge at you without warning. You don't know what they're trying to accomplish—maybe grab you, knock you down, or immobilize you—but you dodge their grasp with the same nonchalant ease. You knock one out with a knee to the stomach and twist the other's arm, snatching the purse from his fingers. The man cries out in pain as you stop just short of twisting his wrist.

You didn't want to use force until the last moment. What if they ask you to be a guard now, too?

Me-eh. What a hassle.

“Do you even know who we are, you son of a bitch?!” wheezed the man on his last breath.

“No. I don't care.”

In the next second, you've thrown them both out the door and, still not holding back, kicked them heartily goodbye.

Closing the door firmly behind them, you turn around and hand the purse to the frightened girl. Taking a quick glance at them, you make sure they're not hurt. Then you pull out your small phone to text the receptionist to come over soon. Suddenly, one of the girls snags the sleeve of your sweatshirt.

“Uhm... thank you,” she says shyly, running her eyes over your uniform until she finds your name tag, “Akashi-kun... right?”

You look at her, perplexed. Huh? Why are her cheeks so red? Is she that worried?

“A... You're welcome,” you reply and stare again at the broken screen that won't light up. Pouting your lips, you began to quickly poke at the power button. Damn. Is it something with the battery again?

“We don't even know how to thank you,” her friend utters, fiddling her fingers with excitement. They glance over at each other. Incomprehensible smiles grow on their faces.

“I did it so my boss wouldn't punish me. And also because you reminded me of myself. Don't thank me, I didn't do anything special.”

“You don't have to,” you reply instead, because your coworker told you that guests don't always need to be told the truth. And if you do, it's only the one they'll like.

At that moment, the screen lit up victoriously. Finally taking your eyes off the phone, you squint down at the spot where someone else's small fingers were still firmly gripping your sleeve. It's burning. Under the skin. Different. Not like the other time. You don't like this burning. Mentally sighing, you think back to your coworker's admonition for the umpteenth time in those five minutes.

“Maybe there's something we could do for you?” the one closer to you utters. Her slender fingers shamelessly begin to outline something on the fabric of your sleeve.

Your fragile mask can't take it after all and cracks. Raising an eyebrow in confusion, you stare at them incomprehensibly. What do they want from you, after all? Also, you want to pull your arm out.

But you don't want more trouble. These girls are probably a percentage of your paycheck tomorrow. Their lipstick alone is probably worth like half of your monthly revenue.

You mentally wrinkle.

This is why you didn't want to get involved in this from the start.

The silence lingers. You know you need to answer. You don't want to answer.

Just as you open your mouth, a man in a suit comes out of the office. When he sees you, he comes rushing toward you. The girls, to be exact.

Your shoulders relax a little.

Lucky.

Carefully releasing your hand, you quietly float away to the kitchen. Your back is escorted by two pairs of awe-struck, admiring eyes.

You don't notice anymore.

[sleepylaing]

hi im actually so so ashamed to post this but anyway let it be i know it's bad pls ignore me

i present you my oc's (from enouement) questionnaire. i tried to make it look like the originals, but since i can neither draw nor edit it turned out pretty crooked, sorry

there will be a more detailed version under the curtains

***

Furin High Class H

Birthday: ???

Height: 164 cm

Weight: 49.4kg

Blood type: ???

Likes: Sleeping

Dislikes: Money

• Unclear sleep schedule. Falls asleep on anything that vaguely resembles a surface. Rumor has it that he works a lot.

• An old phone with a broken screen that barely works. Kiryu almost fainted when he found out about it.

“Hey, 'kashi-chan, wanna play that new game?”

“Fine? What is it about?”

“Gimme your phone, I'll upload it to you!”

*sound of genuine horror*

“Wh-what's with your phone? Have you dropped it or something?”

“Ah? No. It was always like that.”

• He doesn't carry any money with him. Many wonder if he even has a wallet.

• Doesn't seem to be picky about food, but has a weakness for sweets.

• Incorrectly laced sneakers that he is too lazy to re-lace. Once he tripped and almost ran into a pole. Luckily, Suo was nearby and managed to catch him.

• Doesn't wear any jewelry or piercings because "they're too much hassle." On the other hand, he seems to enjoy playing with Hayato's tassel earrings.

• Loose, baggy clothes. Often forgets his hair tie, causing a nest to form on his head.

• Random fact:

every morning one of the boys takes turns calling him to make sure he doesn't oversleep and shows up for class.

• Secret: Once a month he can disappear for several days. He justifies everything by work. Nirei also noticed bandages under his shirt. Why does he need them?

***

that's all for now. i know that someone was waiting for a new chapter but it's still not ready, sorry. i was out of town for four days and now i'm finally going to get around to it.

also there are two arts on the questionnaire, but since i can't draw, obviously they're not mine. i tried to find the author, but as i understood, it was ai. i'm not a supporter of using it for such purposes, but it was the only one most similar to my personal ideas art, so i decided to add it. please let me know if i was wrong and it's someone's work

thank you for reading

[sleepylaing]

Kaji doesn't know how to be gentle. He just does what he can.

He sees you by accident.

He was just walking home, thinking about nothing. It was a fairly ordinary day—they had to beat up some jerks again, but when was that unusual?—just like the others.

The sun was out and lit up the street faintly. Everything was peaceful except for the curled-up figure on the bench.

Looking back, Kaji might admit that he held his gaze for a reason. Frowning, he stops. You were wearing an airy white dress and white shoes, and your hair was spread over your shoulders. He assumed that you had had some sort of flashy, beautiful hairstyle before, judging by the hairpins scattered around you.

Even from a distance, he could see that you were trembling. Your small back was hunched to your knees, your face buried deeply in your palms. You were shuddering as if you were crying.

He remembers you. In his mind, he called you a doll — he didn't say it out loud because Hiragi had forbidden to hurt you when he first introduced you. Judging by the way his classmates and friends looked at you with delight (you were clinging to the edge of Hiragi's shirt and constantly adjusting your perfect cream dress because of that), no one had planned it. He never understood this general frenzy around you - you appeared very rarely, but every time you did, Furin's students flocked to you like moths to a light.

He remembers you. He remembers you laughing quietly at Enomoto's awkward and completely idiotic (in his opinion) jokes, showing up in a new dress every time (he stopped counting on the sixth time, but for some reason he always noticed), looking at him strangely when you thought he couldn't see (he always does, for some reason), and helping to patch up their wounds after every fight they had.

You never treated his, though. (he snorts. whatever. he doesn't really need any handouts from the local crystal princess).

He remembers you. You were smiling brightly, but the smile never touched your eyes. You were acting perfectly normal - you were flawless - and that's what makes him think there's something wrong with you.

Normal girls don't flash so much pain in their eyes when they're told it's time to go home.

He notices it casually. It's not that he's been watching you or anything - it's just that you're always attracting attention, aren't you? You need to be watched. You were just about to split up, and Toma asks where you're going now.

“Me? I'll go somewhere else, I guess.... I won't be long, really!”

Hiragi doesn't believe your perfectly rehearsed smile, so he tells Kaji to walk you home.

And that's when it happens.

You don't object. On the contrary, you smile again and nod gratefully. Kaji unintentionally touches your hands with his own, and immediately pulls them away, hiding in the pockets of his sweatshirt. He doesn't get burned.

Your hands are cold. He looks up from your palms to your face in surprise, and something in him breaks when he notices the look you were looking forward with. Emptiness. And hopelessness.

It's not the way people with that bright smile look.

That's not how normal girls look.

He knows that. Kaji sees that same look in his mirror every time he breaks down in a fight. When he stops being human.

Kaji frowns. Something in his chest scrapes desperately against his ribs.

“We're here.”

He tries not to flinch when he hears your voice. It's pure and perfect. Like everything's normal. Like you weren't just staring into the abyss, as if you were about to break.

“Thank you, Kaji-san. See you later.”

You evaporate behind the wicket before he can respond. Before you can reveal more of what's inside you. He stands still for another minute, trying to figure something out. He snorts muffledly, fixes his bangs, and goes home, pushing thoughts of you out of his mind.

Maybe he wasn't comparing you to a doll for nothing. This time, it's not the one made of rubber. It's the one with two barely working batteries inside to make it talk, the stuffing turned outward, and the unevenly drawn smile.

The one that, for some reason, still worked. Still smiled.

Pretended to be alive.

***

You still don't notice his presence when he comes closer. Ren tentatively reaches out his hand to you. Halfway there, his fingers tremble. He stops. Looks at it - then at you - with a frown.

As if it's your fault that you look like you're going to fall apart at any movement. That's why he dislikes you so much. You always seemed so fragile, and he didn't dare even look at you. Was it because he was afraid of hurting you? That you'd fall apart if he touched you?

Like a figure on display. But with no glass. The glass is inside.

You wouldn't stop shuddering, resting your head in your palms. Like a doll in its last moments of life because two batteries aren't enough. Because maybe it takes more than that to be alive.

You obviously didn't have that. Or you've lost it. Or you don't want it. Kaji doesn't know what happened to you, and he really wishes he didn't care.

But somehow he do care.

Somehow a hurricane rises up inside him.

He's always wondered how much longer you'd last like this, but he's not having any fun at all when it really happens.

“Hey.”

Your shoulders slump fearfully. A new breath rattles in your throat. Why was it him who found you in the end? If it was someone else, it would be so much easier. You feel that Kaji sees right through you, sees your bare bones and rotten soul hidden behind a beautiful facade.

“Are you crying?”

You slowly raise a faded gaze at him. Kaji is confused, though he tries not to show it. Your eyes were dry. Red, exhausted, but completely dry.

His heart trembles when you smile.

How can you still smile? So bright? So that he's ready to believe you?

“I'm just tired, Kaji-san. It's been a tough day. It's okay, you can go.”

“What happened?”

Your smile falters for a moment. Another sign that you're obviously not okay.

“Nothing worth the attention of the class captain of a respected school. You don't have to ask out of politeness.”

“I'm not asking out of politeness.”

“And you don't have to ask out of pity either.”

“You're so unwilling to see me?” he sighs irritably, trying to calm himself down. Something was always going wrong with him around you. Like he was turning into broken toy himself.

“Speak up. Or I'm calling Hiragi-san.”

“I'm not-...”

”Who.”

“No one.”

“I pull out my phone.”

Silence.

“Me.”

“What?”

You lower your gaze. Clench your fists in your lap. The white dress inevitably crumples.

“I've hurt myself.”

Kaji's eyebrow twitches. Where are his lollipops when he needs them?

“I can't be what I need to be. I'm a failure. I can see why my mom doesn't want me.”

It doesn't matter how many times you wear that dress she told you to wear. It doesn't matter how many times you bring her perfect grades. It doesn't matter how hard you try to be a normal daughter.

It's never enough.

You will never be enough.

You're a complete failure.

Kaji's eyes go wide. What are you talking about? He knew there was a mess going on in your stupid perfect head. He looks at you - so infinitely small against this large world, so infinitely adorable against his weak heart, so guilty, broken... and stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He watches you press your lips together in shame, shrinking back, hiding your gaze from him. Kaji's never had to console a girl. He's not good at consoling anyone.

“Idiot.”

Kaji doesn't know how to be gentle. He just does what he can.

You feel the other's hand land on the top of your head. He strokes you roughly at first, but not painfully, with the edge of his palm, and then he softens, tentatively smoothing your disheveled strands.

And only then you cried. Suddenly feeling so vulnerable, so... so... terribly open, you can't think of anything but his warm hand on your head. The first tear rolls from your right eye, and you fail to hold back the first sob.

The doll cracks at the seams.

Kaji doesn't know how to sew. He doesn't even know how to thread a needle. But he tries. His fingers are all stabbed when he finally makes the first stitch.

A second one follows.

You're still crying. You don't know why. Maybe you're hurt that the shell is cracking.

Maybe you're glad you don't have to smile anymore to be perfect.

Kaji's there. He doesn't say anything. Somehow you realize words aren't needed.

His hand is warm.

The third stitch slowly tightens.

“How does your little head only have room for such stupid thoughts?”

Suddenly there is a warmth in your chest. Soft, almost invisible. Like a cloud. It tickles your ribs and stays there. You want to laugh.

And you do.

For the first time in your memory

not as a helpless puppet

but as a human.

[sleepylaing]

were tomiyama and togame references to mikey and draken? i was reading 130 chapter and just realised that

they are tall&short duo, tomiyama always smiling and acting absolutely insane while togame makes sure his friend will be okay

it really reminded me of toman i miss them

[sleepylaing]

Énouement [4]

Suddenly you feel a strange stirring to your right. You casually shift your gaze there, and see a KEEL member lying in the same pose as you.

Strange. His breathing sounds perfectly normal.

Is he pretending, too?

see the notes in end of the chapter

← previous chapter

ch. 4 Just papers.

You don't like the wind today. It's completely messed up your hair, making it fly in your face, which you're tired of fixing. Sometimes you miss your short hair very much. As a child, you were often left to fend for yourself - in fact, you were almost always on your own. Your hair was constantly tangled, and there was no one to teach you how to properly care for it. You picked up scissors for the first time at six, and for the next seven years you cut it as short as you could - and it got a lot easier. You didn't care what it looked like.

Then... someone told you they were beautiful. That it would be nice to see you with long hair. So you started growing it out. Now, when it's loose, it's down to your shoulders and a little lower, but you always tried to put some of it in a ponytail on top of your head. Sometimes Kiryu would want to braid you, and you looked like a normal person for once (according to Kotoha when she saw you).

Back to the weather...

You're tired. Not that there was ever a time when you wouldn't be, but at least you could have spent that time doing something useful - for example, you had a very nice time enjoying a nap on your favorite rock desk! - rather than going with a bunch of teenagers to somewhere unknown to punch someone in the face who offended some friend of some classmate of yours. Takahashi, maybe. Or Anzai? You didn't get into the details.

Kicking the air angrily, you turn to the one responsible for your condition.

“At least carry me on your back, Suo-cha-a-an...”

You lean your forehead against Hayato's shoulder while continuing to walk. The familiar, pleasant scent fills your lungs. After breathing it in once more, you pull away.

“Leave him alone already!” Sakura snaps irritably, looking back at you and blushing for some reason. “Stop acting like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like a five-year-old. Like you can't do anything without him.”

You pout.

“My feet hurt!”

“You were carelessly running away from Kiryu after stealing his donut like an hour ago. It seemed like your legs were totally fine.”

“I was hungry! That doesn't count!”

“That's not my problem. Just—” His gaze slides awkwardly toward where your hand has just barely touched the back of Suo's palm. He frowns. Heat spreads across his cheeks. “Stop it. I can't look at you.”

You swallow and lick your lips. What exactly are you supposed to stop doing? What were you doing wrong?

You stare at Suo as if he has the answer. Your fingers tremble as you absently touch him again. As if burned, you hide your hand in your pocket.

Hayato continues to walk beside you. His posture is perfectly straight. Suddenly, he leans over to you and speaks quietly.

“Candy shop. In a week's time. I'm paying.”

Your face brightens.

Maybe it's not so bad after all.

***

You lazily scan the area of the abandoned port you just approached. You quickly estimate how long it took you to get there. Deep down, you're not sure that entering enemy territory without alerting your senpais was a good idea. You're like blind kittens out here. What if there are too many enemies? Or will something else unforeseen happen?

Questions swirl around in your head, but you brush them off. Thinking about it is always such a hassle. It's better not to think at all. It's okay. Nothing's wrong.

Not yet, at least.

You hope it doesn't.

Along with the entire crowd, you approach a huge hangar that is apparently KEEL's headquarters. Sugishita breaks the lock effortlessly. Sakura confidently goes in first; you follow.

As it turns out, they've been waiting for you for quite some time. Or rather, not you—Anzai (oh, so he's the one who started this whole thing?). Sakura begins to ogle the supposed gang leader while you distract yourself to take a closer look at the place.

Inside, it's even more spacious than it appeared. You immediately notice the unusual layout and smell of dust and dampness. Pipes and other junk are scattered in the corners. You press your lips together in a thin line. The space you occupied was lit, more or less.

But everything else was not. You don't like that there's another floor above you that you can't see. What if there are more of those guys sitting up there who have surrounded you?

Frowning warily, you tilt your head back and try to look up, but you can't tell if anyone is there.

You find yourself thinking it's strange. Your behavior was unusual for you. Why is your stomach twisting again?

Hardly any of them can touch the hair on your head, even if they tried really hard.

You were probably just a little worried, but... not for yourself.

Just a little. You still don't care and would rather sleep on a desk than participate in this.

“Beware of the other floor,” you warn Suo and Nirei, the ones who stood closest to you when you faced your opponents in the fight, with sudden seriousness. “I can't see what's in there.”

Suo nods understandingly, taking your words to heart. Nirei, on the other hand, already looking rather frightened before, seems to tense up even more, squinting warily upwards. Your heart clenches strangely. Maybe you shouldn't have said that.

“Don't worry, Nirei-chan," you hurry to reassure him, “They won't-”

Before you could finish your words, you saw an iron baton aimed straight at your face. You caught it with your palm, deliberately kicked your attacker in the stomach, and he collapsed to the ground.

“...touch you.”

“Too slow,” you think. Then you are immediately attacked by someone else. Effortlessly dodging his swinging leg, you take him down. He clumsily joins his comrade.

Nirei stares at you, dumbfounded, like a deer in headlights.

“Awesome, Akashi-san! You took down two of them in just a couple seconds. It looked so easy...” he mutters in admire, and you suddenly realize that no one in Furin has ever seen you fight before.

You only smile softly in response, tilting your head to shoulder. You're glad that at least this way you could distract Nirei from his troubling thoughts.

A bunch of fists come at you again, and you're distracted by the fight. You never struck first; you dodged, slashed, redirected, and pushed your foes against each other. When the pressure died down a little, you moved back to the corner, settling down smoothly and spreading out on the ground. They wouldn't hit someone lying down, would they? You sighed quietly, closing your eyes.

Tsugeura-chan would give you a hard time (okay, maybe you're exaggerating a bit, but he'd give you his trademark heavy backhand) if he saw you now. How good it was that he was engrossed in his fight at the other end of the hangar. No, well, what, you're supposed to go over there now and fight at full strength? No, thank you. You've already handled a couple of them, the rest will be on the guys.

Lately, you'd rather not fight unless it was absolutely necessary. You liked the excuse that you were in some kind of retirement.

Suddenly you feel a strange stirring to your right. You casually shift your gaze there, and see a KEEL member lying in the same pose as you.

Strange. His breathing sounds perfectly normal.

Is he pretending, too?

Before you can get a good look at him, your thoughts are interrupted by an alarmed shout, and you turn around. Afterward, this guy is completely blown out of your mind.

“Akashi!” yells Suo, not loudly enough to block out the sound of the battle, but loudly enough for you to hear him. A concerned fire blazes in his eye. He looks like he's ready to rush toward you at any second.

Oh, sweet, sweet Suo. Is he really worried about you? Of course he would notice your absence. You put your thumb up to show that everything is fine. Will he understand?

After hesitating for a while longer, Hayato seems to calm down, but he still looks back at you fearfully sometimes.

Bofurin dominated. With the outrageously strong Sugishita and Tsugeura, the elusive Kiryu, the untouchable Suo, and the chaotic Sakura, it was hard to imagine a different outcome. You tried to keep an eye on everyone, just in case.

You briefly glance at Sakura, who had been beaten over the head with a club, but decide he can handle it and turn your gaze to Suo, behind whose back stood frightened Nirei.

The future you are grateful to yourself for doing this.

Because the next moment, Nirei suddenly snapped out of his spot and raced into the middle of the battle. Your eyes widened. What is he doing?! He's gonna-... They are gonna-...

Your palms go ice cold. It's almost as if a switch has flipped in your head, and you no longer care that you didn't want to get involved.

Your body twitches automatically. With astonishing speed, you jump up and run toward him. You hear Suo and Sakura calling his name. Your tongue doesn't obey you. You grit your teeth and speed up. Thoughts, jumbled and anxious, race through your head. Make it. Make it. Make it.

You must make it. You have to make it.

Your heart races as you kick one, then immediately take on the other. You dodge a fist whizzing right over your temple. By now, the first one has already gotten up.

“Ak-kashi-san! Behind you!”

You crouch down sharply. The attacker falls to the ground, unable to keep his balance. You kick him again, just to be sure. You turn to Nirei and your eyes widen in horror. Without a second thought, you pull him toward you and switch places with him.

There is a deafening clang.

Someone is screaming.

Something cold presses hard against the back of your neck. Something hot and sticky starts running down your neck.

Loud. Much. Too much. It hurts. It hurts. Your vision blurs. Your ears start to ring. You try to focus on Nirei's face below you. You can't. But it seems intact. Only then do you allow yourself to relax. Maybe it's just your imagination, but you vaguely hear your name being called. Much. Too much. It's all jumbled up.

There's only one thought in your head.

You made it. Made it.

Made it.

Saved.

“...I've t-... told y-you, Nirei... chan,” you squeeze out hoarsely, trying to smile, “...no one will hurt you.”

Your eyelids grow heavy. The back of your neck is throbbing. You're still in unbearable pain, but you think you can bear it. It's been a long time since you last felt similar way. You're even a little weaned on it.

The last thing you hear is the hangar doors slamming open. There's the stomping of boots.

Kaji-san is here.

You let yourself fall into oblivion with relief.

***

The starless sky peers at you through the window. The moon's silver crescent mocks you. The apartment is dark. It smells of iron and dampness.

Your little brother's body lies in your arms.

“I didn't tell them, nee-chan. They asked me where the money was, but I didn't tell them. They started beating me, but I never told them. They... found it anyway. I'm sorry, nee... chan. They took them all...”

“It's just pieces of paper,” you say, your voice trembling. You stroke his head gently. Tears don't have time to roll from your eyes. You hold back a sob. “It's just papers, Niko.”

You pray the ambulance makes it in time.

Because you didn't.

“But you tried so hard. I couldn't just let them take them away. You work all the time.”

“I'd earn more.”

The light in his eyes slowly fades. You whimper quietly. A strangled scream rips from your throat.

The moon laughs at you from its black sky.

→ next chapter

a/n: heeyy hiii thank you a lot for reading!!! things are getting a little heated, yea? akashi is finally starting to come out of her shell. i'd love to read your feedback! anyway, im here to tell you about some interaction i want to do.

what do you think about some interview with characters? like, you may ask the questions in comments, and in the next part they will answer them. like what is your type, who will you call in extreme situation, what kind of job would you like to get or what do you do when you're upset etc etc etc.... at first, i wanted to do it all myself, but then i thought it would be interesting to ask you too. if you want a particular character (could be multiple) to answer something, also mention it.

a saw this idea many years ago it is not mine!!! ...just in case

bye sweeties have a nice day

[sleepylaing]

could you fuck off? thanks. at least you have ears.

furin boys (suo, sakura, kaji) x harsh!reader

***

suo literally freezes in place for a moment when he hears you for the first time. he, sakura and nirei were just approaching the pothos because they heard some commotion.

“are you stupid or do you have a lack of brain cells? i think it's both. she already told you to fuck off. do you think you're worthy of her telling you twice?”

he couldn't see you because you were blocked by the wide backs of some guys, but could hear your voice very well. firm and confident. not loud enough to be mistaken for a shout, but not quiet either.

they immediately rush to you without the second thought.

tachibana, with bags in her hands and her lips pressed together in irritation, stood behind you while you covered her from some thugs twice your size.

now suo sees your face — confident, without a drop of fear. your eyebrows are furrowed and your palms are clenched tightly into fists.

“what, has the cat got your tongues? great. don't ever open your fucking mouths again and the world will be a better place.”

your voice doesn't waver. the guys' faces stretch out in confusion. a couple seconds later, the boldest of them says something and reaches out to punch you.

you didn't flinch. just moved closer to kotoha and clenched your jaw as tightly as you could. the determination in your eyes never wavered.

his fist never reached your face.

it bumps into the palm of suo's hand, and he deftly redirects the blow. in that very moment, sakura smashes his fist into the guy's face.

less than two minutes later, these guys are lying on the pavement, moaning in pain.

a concerned nirei runs up to you and asks, “are you hurt?”

suo hurries to turn around and walk over to you as well. sakura follows behind him, scratching his neck lazily.

“it's fine,” you reply, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “we could've handled this ourselves, but you were really cool! thanks!”

you smile softly. your face brightens.

suo feels as if the sun itself has come down, shining its rays on them. strangely, it doesn't hurt him at all — the light doesn't burn like it did a few minutes ago.

the three boys freeze when they see you smile and nod gratefully. just a moment ago you looked like you were ready to roast those guys alive, but now... now it's completely different.

haruka lets out a strange half-sigh and blushes thickly.

“th-the-they... they were just standing there and blocking our way, that's all!”

“it would be a huge shame if such a beautiful face got hurt,” suo replies with his usual smile, and you look a little surprised at first. then your eyes squint interestedly.

“ugly people get punched in the face. i like it.”

you walk away soon, leaving behind the scent of your perfume and the warmth that graces hayato's chest. his attentive gaze follows your back until you disappear around the corner.

again. he wants to hear from you again.

something in him explodes with pleasure as he replays in his head how ruthless you were to those guys yet how sweetly you smiled at him.

***

sakura couldn't get your words out of his head. how could you not be afraid? you looked so small and fragile, and, not that he was looking at you or anything, you were a bit, just a bit pretty. your smile turned his insides upside down, shook it as hard as it could, and brought everything back to normal as if nothing ever happened.

before you left, you swept your gaze over him, and he frantically caught it, not understanding why it was so hard for him to stop looking.

all day after that, he tries to convince himself that he's not thinking about you. that he doesn't remember the sparkle in your eyes, or how beautiful you seemed as you bravely covered tachibana.

a week later, sakura has the chance to see you again. he's walking home from school, tired and looking down at his feet. but something makes him look up as he passes you.

you weren't alone, but apparently not by choice. in one hand, you held your small purse; in the other, you held an unfinished ice cream cone.

“i already said it once. even dogs understand the word 'no' the first time. when did men get so far down the evolutionary ladder?”

the guy in front of you opens his mouth and immediately slams it shut. you stare down at him, despite being shorter.

haruka's breathless. you seem so... so... unattainable. perfect. strong.

untouchable.

he stops, but his tongue won't obey him enough to call out to you.

“i just asked for your number. since when did girls become bitches like you?”

sakura realized from the start that if someone give you an inch, you will take a mile.

but he still can't be anything but astonished when he becomes the witness of how you slap a guy across the cheek with your bag and throw your ice cream cone in his face without blinking an eye. then you elegantly flip your hair behind your back and walk away without looking around.

his eyes widen in surprise, and he unconsciously recoils — it's unclear whether from fear, awe, or admiration.

all he can hear is the sound of your heels and your disappointed muttering.

“that was my favorite flavor... well, it almost melted while i was talking to him anyway.”

haruka convinces himself that if his cheeks are blushing, it's...

it's because it's hot today.

and if his knees are a little, just a little bit weak...

it's just because, uh.

uh...

whatever.

***

it's not surprising, but ren kaji is the one who doesn't blow up immediately after you reply in your rude manner.

you've been arguing a lot for no reason at all. it just started out as him sullenly saying something without thinking, and you're not the shy type, responding even more sharply.

your disputes never went very far. most often, his friends would shove a lollipop in his mouth and forcibly plug in his headphones, smiling apologetically at you.

kaji wouldn't admit it to any living soul — in fact, he couldn't even admit it to himself — but he enjoyed arguing with you. he liked that you could hold your own in an argument. he liked that you weren't afraid. you always acted like you had nine more lives besides this one, but you weren't foolish. that was attractive.

he liked the way your cheeks flamed when you answered him fiercely, he liked the way your hair fell beautifully over your face, he liked the way you grabbed his arm or his shoulders when you were trying to prove something.

he never fought back or pulled away when you got too close without noticing it, even though he could.

he liked the way you licked your lips before speaking. he liked the way you bit your lower lip while thinking about your answer.

maybe he was charmed by you. captivated.

just in a very, very small way.

it's not like he thinks about kissing you every time he sees you. absolutely not.

“you've been hanging out with the first-years a lot.”

“what? miss me?”

the lollipop crunches in his mouth as he clenches his jaws.

“dream on. my life is easier without you around.”

“i thought you liked making your life harder on yourself.”

“i do,” he thinks, barely keeping from saying it.

you look at him like you already know everything. like you can see right through him.

your gaze freezes under his skin. he rolls his eyes.

sometimes you're so impossible.

[sleepylaing]

Énouement [3]

You're not surprised: at times like this, when Suo smiles that unbearable smile of his, you always get the feeling that you've willingly signed over your entire inheritance to him, even though you have no inheritance at all.

a/n: took me long enough... sorry for waiting. thank you all for your comments, it gives me so much inspiration!!

← previous chapter

ch 3. Wrong.

You weren't planning on becoming a vice captain. It sounded like a lot of work and responsibility. You'd rather stay at your desk all year, occasionally going out on the town to catch another lost cat.

You definitely didn't plan on doing that, but.

When those big, honey-glass eyes looked at you, your confidence evaporated. When they looked at you with such a sincere plea, and when even Suo, who had you warming under his side, supported Nirei's idea, you couldn't help it.

So, now you were the vice captain. You should have refused - and you almost did, but your weakness for Nirei and another Fox played a cruel trick on you. You hoped you wouldn't have to exert yourself.

“Look, the one with the short haircut is Kurita-san, the one with the tufted head is Takanashi-san, and the one with the black hair is Kakiuchi-san.”

Sakura makes a complicated face. You can tell that he can't remember anything, even though he's trying. Moving his eyebrows to the bridge of his nose, he admits: “Didn't remember shit.”

“Sakura-chan's stu-u-pid...” you moo from your seat and yawn at the end.

“Shut it!” Multicolored eyes cut into you with a sizzling stare. “Y-you! Have you already forgotten that you only remembered my name from the battle with Shishitoren?!”

“Eh?...Nirei-chan told you that?” you ask, but there's no reproach in your voice. You don't even sound interested.

“I fear for Sakura-kun... Togame is the second strongest in Shishitoren,” Nirei says quietly.

“Sakura? Who's that?”

You knew the second. Togame, if your vague memory is to be believed, is heavy footsteps, the clatter of flip-flops, and a deep voice.

“Our classmate, Akashi-kun,” Suo, sitting to your right, patiently responds. You didn't participate in the single combat, dozing in your chair. And actually, you ended up here by chance after you followed the others outside for some reason when the leader of Shishitoren appeared at your school. The morning before the battle, Nirei had texted you out of the blue and asked you to come - he soon admitted shyly that he was afraid of being the only one who didn't fight. Somehow, you found it hard to refuse, so you agreed. That trip to the bakery you've been saving up for for half a month had to be postponed.

“You just don't stand out,” you inexplicably justify, “and walk strangely.”

Five pairs of eyes stare at you in surprise. You shiver involuntarily. Cold.

“Sakura-chan? Doesn't stand out?” Kiryu shifts his gaze back and forth between you and him.

You blink. The sleepiness slowly fades. “Never mind,” you mutter to yourself. People never understood that. You were bad at memorizing faces. You recognized people by their features. The smell, the timbre of their voice, the sound of their footsteps, their breathing rate, their accessories. It was always too painful and too long to explain, and most of the time people didn't understand you anyway, and you didn't really care whether they did or not, so you stopped bothering to try to be understood.

There is a strange silence. Nirei hurries to smooth it over, laughing awkwardly and distracting Sakura by continuing to talk about your classmates. The conversation slowly resumes. The top of your head falls on the shoulder of Suo sitting next to you. He doesn't look disturbed or displeased, on the contrary, he smiles brightly and moves a little closer to make you more comfortable. He offers you a candy bar. Wondering how he knew your favorite flavor, you moo gratefully and open the wrapper. You haven't eaten since yesterday.

“Anzai-san... he's with a bandage.���

“Did something happen?”

“I didn't hear anything.”

“Won't tell,” you think, opening an eye to catch a glimpse of Anzai, “won't tell anything even if you ask.” You've seen it. You felt it.

Suddenly, there's an indivisible hiss from the loudspeaker on the wall, and in the next second, the deafening voice of Headmaster Bofurin sweeps through the classroom. Everyone jerks. You wrinkle your nose unhappily: you almost fell asleep. Nirei clings to your forearm, even unconsciously, and you respond by reassuringly covering his hand with yours. After a moment, realizing your position, he blushes and pulls away at the speed of light.

You are called to the roof. What a pain.

Maybe Suo can carry you up on his back.

Please?

***

The blue sky is sprinkled with clouds. The cool breeze kisses your face, slides down your neck, and gets lost in your blond hair. You close your eyes blissfully, arching toward it.

The fresh air has done you good. You're not even upset that you had to come here anymore. In fact, it's beautiful here: there's a big tree, some chairs, a table, and even a small garden, which Sugishita is digging through now. There are paintings in the corners, and some junk scattered around, but that just makes this unusual place cozy.

Nirei admits that he memorized all the names of Furin's students in just one night. Says it like it's a common thing. Deep down, you admire him. Suo, on the other hand, says something about negotiating and imposing points of view. You're not surprised: at times like this, when Suo smiles that unbearable smile of his, you always get the feeling that you've willingly signed over your entire inheritance to him, even though you have no inheritance at all. And for some reason, you have the feeling that this isn't the only thing Hayato can do. You don't know if you want to find out yet.

On an intuitive level, you feel them turn on you.

“And Akashi-kun is...” begins Nirei, looking you over from head to toe, and hesitates briefly, “...the calming factor.”

Suo smiles softly and nods in agreement.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” Sakura explodes.

You open one eye and squint at him, smirking.

“It means I don't have to do anything.”

“Asshole!”

You giggle involuntarily. Sakura's funny. You can see why Suo enjoys teasing him so much.

***

“Hold still,” you hiss nonchalantly as you stick another bandage on Anzai's cheek, who flinches under your piercing gaze and cold fingers.

You found him beaten up in a dirty alley while patrolling the city. Had you been walking alone, you would have pretended not to notice and left him there. Okay, maybe you'd poke him in the cheek and see if he'd walk home on his own, but nothing more. Well, that's not your problem, is it?

But you were with the guys, and of course they're not as bad as you, and there's no way they would have left him there. So now you're sitting in a diner, which happens to be the closest one.

Since you were the only one who could tell the difference between bandages and gauze, and since you had already treated the boys' wounds after the fight with Shishitoren (only because Nirei had asked you to, mind you), everyone decided to solemnly present the first aid kit to you. Not that you were happy to be a medic, but Anzai did look a little shabby, and you felt a bit sorry for him. Just a bit.

“S-Sorry...” he mumbles and clears his throat, “So there's this big... big-big-big dog! Chased me like a... like a real bear!”

The boys sigh unimpressed. You continue to press the cotton wool harder against the injured boy's eyebrow, causing him to hiss in pain.

Even the dim-witted Sakura has already guessed that there's no dog.

As soon as you finish the last bandage, Anzai jumps up from his seat. “Okay, I guess I should go, I still have things to do,” he mumbles, “Thank you, Akashi-kun,” and bowing to you, he almost runs towards the exit.

Suo stops him with a question. “Did something happen between you and KEEL?”

Anzai, seemingly covered in cold sweat for the hundredth time in these fifteen minutes, stumbles on the flat spot. Laughs out loud. Waves it away. Squeezes out an unconvincing lie, rushes back to the door, waving his head from side to side.

“Don't tilt your head or you'll bleed,” you warn, frowning, “and change the bandages tonight.”

Your admonition dissolves into the ringing of the doorbell. You snort. Fine. Let him bleed tragically and die.

“Ah, is he gone already? I wanted to give him some fresh ones,” the woman in the apron, probably the owner of the restaurant, said frustratedly. Smelling the aroma of food, you jumped out of your seat, and the next moment, you were already affectionately sticking your nose into the bag she was holding. Monjayaki? It smells delicious.

“Akashi-kun...” Nirei calls out to you sheepishly. By this time, you're already shamelessly stealing a few pancakes from the bag. Fighting is fighting, but you haven't eaten since this morning. How sometimes it's good to wear a Furin jacket.

“Take it, take it, sweetheart,” she holds the bag out to you generously, not the least bit worried, “Furin's students are almost like children to me!”

You freeze. Open your eyes in a daze and stop chewing. Your little heart is pounding in your chest. Faster, faster. Faster and faster. For some reason you feel like spitting out all the food. Finally, you swallow hard and blink because for some reason your eyes are starting to burn.

Why?

Is there something wrong? You thought everything was fine. Then...

is there something wrong... with you?

The others didn't notice, happy about the free food. Only Suo looks at you intently. Faintly frowning. “Akashi-kun, are you okay?”

“Y-ye-... Yes. Fine,” you pull yourself together, returning to your usual calm expression.

You thank the owner and return to your seat. Suo's warm hand rests gently on your forearm, as if sensing something wrong.

Your jaw clenches.

Your heart is still trying to escape from under your ribs.

***

The fight with KEEL comes unexpectedly. One moment — you were dozing sweetly on your desk with Sugishita snoring beside you, the next — you were hanging on Suo's shoulder as he dragged you somewhere. A grumbling Sugishita lounged behind you.

“Guys! Akashi-kun and Sugishita-kun say they're coming with us.”

“Liar,” you murmur weakly into his shoulder. Inside, you feel him smile mischievously and gently stroke your hair as if to apologize.

The touch involuntarily relaxes you. The old resentments vanish.

The sly, sly, insufferable fox.

The sly, sly, deceptively kind fox,

into whose trap you willingly keep falling.

→ next chapter

[sleepylaing]

imperfection

You didn't know that other people's beauty could give you goosebumps, but it looks like it really can, because it's happening to you right now.

Beautiful. Insanely.

“Kotoha-chan, Kotoha-chan!” you say loudly from the doorway instead of greeting, trying to catch your breath. The door behind you slams shut with a clang as you pull on it with all your might.

As you run up to the counter, you grip the edge of it with slim fingers and lean forward. Kotoha doesn't look impressed; she raises an eyebrow and looks at your mussed appearance — the messy hair streaming down your shoulders and back, the white apron pushed to the side, the loose bow in your hair, ready to fall off any minute.

“What is it?” she asks, wiping the glass in her hand.

Your eyes sparkle, you lick your lips excitedly, and ask her:

“Do you have that lemon syrup? Mine ran out, and the desserts need to be out in two hours... Could you borrow some?”

“And seriously? Why are you here?”

Your eyes narrow in surprise, but the next moment you're grinning broadly.

“Ah, you caught me!” you laugh and rub your neck.

“Spill it already...” Tachibana sighs. “I have a bunch of customers today.”

“Oh?” you gasp and hurry to look around. You can barely keep yourself from shrinking back as several pairs of attentive eyes stare at you. You were so caught up in the conversation that you didn't even notice the other people here.

Oh, you didn't even check your appearance before you came here! You worked at the pastry shop across from Pothos, so you'd often stop by Tachibana's place to chat when you were on break-or-bored-or-lonely. She was the only person your age who could handle your never-ending stream of words. In the past, you were often told you were too loud and disruptive, so you really tried not to be, but you couldn't help yourself sometimes. And yet Tachibana never said anything like that to you. She might sigh heavily, roll her eyes, or even hit you with a broom if you stayed too long, but she never said you were too much.

You sincerely thought of her as a friend. And you sincerely hoped she felt the same about you.

So you often didn't even bother to change out of your uniform into something else, and just ran to her to tell her the latest news about the beautiful brooch you'd seen on one of your customers, or how you were out of milk again and had to leave the store to its fate and run to the stall for a new one.

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment as you look around at the small group of boys sitting at the tables. They were dressed in black uniforms with green pieces, and you knew they were Furin students. Among them, you only knew Umemiya (because he was obviously a frequent visitor to Pothos like you), Tsubaki (who you'd met when you'd accidentally found a earring on the road, and then it turned out to be his, and you'd been talking to him ever since), Hiragi (who you'd jokingly called a shark for his teeth, and who'd jokingly threatened to shred you with them once), and a couple of others.

“Yo!”, Umemiya waves at you from his seat.

“Ah, hello, Umemiya-senpai!” you greet with a smile. Your gaze slides over to the others: the boy with the unusual hair color who wasn't looking at you, ducking into his plate of omurice, the sullen boy with long hair who was sitting with his back to you, and the Hiragi sitting across from him who nodded at you in greeting. Nodding back, you looked over to the third table, where a blond-haired, cute young man was sitting with a notebook in his hands. His honeyed eyes darted back and forth between you and the book in his hands every second, and you could hear his soft, confused mumbling.

“...hair, white apron, NN pastry shop uniform, cute bow in her hair... Pretty... seems to be very well acquainted with Kotoha-san, also knows Umemiya-san and Hiragi-san...”

Your cheeks blush even more as you realize the meaning of his words. Was he... recording information about you? Was there anything about you that would be interesting to know?

And did he... just call you... p-pretty?

Your hands automatically begin to nervously adjust your clothes and hair. You swallow the bubbling anxiety.

Suddenly, a soft, apologetic voice caresses your ears.

“Please forgive him. Nirei-kun wasn't doing it on purpose. He always acts like that when he meets someone interesting. Please don't be offended by him.”

Your breath catches as you shift your gaze to the speaker. Dark maroon hair, thin lips curved into a good-hearted smile, a black patch over his right eye. You didn't know that other people's beauty could give you goosebumps, but it looks like it really can, because it's happening to you right now.

Beautiful. Insanely.

You try your hardest not to stutter as you answer him:

“I-it's okay! I'm not offended, really! You don't need to say sorry. You're first-years, right? It's nice to meet you!”

The beautiful boy nods and smiles at you again. You find that smile murderously angelic and mesmerizing, and you can't bring yourself to take your eyes off him. Your heart flutters behind your ribs, and you don't even try to quiet its pounding.

“Likewise,” he replies to your surprise, still examining you with his curious gaze. You feel like steam is about to come out of your ears.

A shuddering, almost reverent breath comes out of your mouth, and you suddenly realize that you didn't seemed to be breathing at all before. The beautiful boy stares at you for a moment, then winks playfully and turns away.

Something hot explodes inside you. Maybe it's your skin that's overheated from his gaze and now there's a burn on your cheek, maybe it's your insides twisted into one big screaming lump, maybe it's your weak heart that's exploded inside and is now clumsily trying to put itself back together again.

You open your mouth to say something else, but close it almost immediately, realizing that your tongue isn't listening, and all the unspoken words are jumbled together. Suddenly your head is just a deafening void and a tangle of confused thoughts. The other boy's smile is still frozen in front of your eyes, and you force yourself to turn away and not stare at the back of his head.

Beautiful back of his head.

You bite your tongue, trying to sober up. What is wrong with you? You've always been a little distracted and you knew it, but not to this extent?

“Finished at last?”

You almost jump at Kotoha's calm voice. She's already done with the cleanup and is leaning on the counter, looking at you with a sly squint.

“Finished what?”

“Staring at him,” she grins, already predicting your reaction.

“N-no-nothing like that! Don't make things up, Kotoha-chan!”, you exclaim. Your just-cooled cheeks flush a soft pink color again. You tuck your hair behind your ears and adjust your apron again. You touch the back of your head and untie the loose bow. Jesus, all this time you've been like this while this beautiful boy has been looking at you?

It's such a shame. You won't be surprised if he never looks at you after this again.

Of course he won't. What makes you think you can be liked by such a beautiful boy?

What makes you think anyone can like you?

Your shoulders slump dejectedly. Your eyes settle on the scrubbed floor. You swallow again with an obscure, but now much more bitter anxiety.

“There was something you wanted to tell me, right?” asks Tachibana. You slowly lift your head. There's something soft in her voice. As if she somehow noticed that you were upset and now wants to cheer you up.

A shy smile blossoms on your lips. It's not as wide as before, but it's probably the most sincere you've smiled all day.

“Mhm,” you moo in agreement, remembering why you came here in the first place. “Will you come over to me for a sleepover tonight? My dad's on a business trip again, I don't want to sleep alone.”

At the beginning of your friendship, you didn't want to admit that you were lonely. Tachibana was your only true friend. At first you tried to lie to her that you just wanted to try cooking some new recipe with her and then casually ask her to stay over or do homework together, but eventually she realized something was wrong and figured you out. You had to confess that you hated being alone, that the walls of your cold house were weighing you down, and that you'd rather sit in a pastry shop all night than spend another night in that place.

You were prepared for her to be disgusted, to push you away, to call you weird for not even being able to sit quietly in your own home like so many others before her. And how genuinely surprised you were when she hugged you and told you it was okay. That she didn't know what you were going through and therefore had no right to judge you. That she would be happy to come to you and you could talk to her.

At that moment, you realized that you would probably never have a friend as wonderful as Tachibana ever again.

“Sure, what time?”

You jumped up happily and raked her palms into an armful. “After my shift, I'll come and pick you up!”

She nods and you let her go, stepping away from the counter. Unintentionally, your eyes slip to the table in the corner. With sweaty palms, you notice that the beautiful boy is already looking at you. You give him a weak nod and almost fly out the door. The ringing of the doorbell lingers in your eardrums. After taking a few steps, you gradually break into a sprint, stopping only as you close the door to the shop behind you.

You try to catch your breath, but it's no use. Your chest is still burning, and you put your hand over your heart, hoping it will at least calm down a little.

To distract yourself, you look around the glass windows.

Suddenly a thought hits you like an arrow.

“Oh, I never got her lemon syrup. I have to go back.”

***

That same night at a sleepover at your house, you hide under your blanket and shyly ask Kotoha what the name of that beautiful boy with the bandage and the enchanting gaze was.

Kotoha smiles slyly and tells you.

“Suo Hayato. Your future boyfriend, I hope.”

[sleepylaing]

so i donnow what exactly happened with my account but now im finally here and second chapter as well

Énouement [2]

“Suo-kun is coming with you.”

“Оh?”

Indeed: as you approach the door, you see a smiling Hayato leaning against the wall. When Suo hears footsteps, he rushes over to you and examines you with an inexplicable tenderness.

It doesn't last long, though: his gaze suddenly darkens as he stops where Enomoto's hand had carelessly held you by the collar.

← previous chapter.

ch 2. — A fox.

“What's your secret?” asks Tsugeura in surprise when you once again hit the paper in the trash without a mistake. Eight out of ten to his four. You were definitely in the lead.

“Hm... maybe I don't eat a bucket of protein for breakfast or keep weights under my pillow.”

Kiryu giggles and sits down next to you. Taiga swallowed indignantly.

“Hey!”

“He's right, Tsugeura-chan. Didn't you tell us that you always have your dumbbells handy?”, Kiryu jokes while you lose interest and start looking at the holes in your pants. Looks like you'll have to pay for new ones after all. Your little lie that it was just the design becomes less and less believable with each new scuff.

“But that doesn't mean I'm sleeping with them, right?”, Taiga picks up another piece of paper and throws it in the trash... and misses again.

“You're straining your arm too much when you throw,” you say suddenly, still looking at the ground, and both boys turn to you in surprise, “and calculate your strength. You're not bad at aiming, but that's not all that matters.”

“I didn't know that you are also a good teacher, Akashi-kun,” you recognize the voice as Suo approaches you. “I see the cleanup is in full swing,” he adds, looking around your makeshift competition arena.

“Tsugeura-chan, you said the loser buys the dessert. I want the one with strawberries.”

“But I haven't lost yet!”

You frown and think for a moment. Then you shake your head.

“Nah, I'd rather have the one with lemon syrup. It's cheaper.”

"Are you listening to me?" groans Tsugeura and jabs at you when he doesn't find any remorse on your calm face, “Suo-kun, take him away! Only you can stand the merciless indifference of this blond demon.”

“Why is that? I mean, I even chose the cheaper one,” you raise your eyebrows in surprise.

In the next second, Suo leads you away, smiling apologetically at Taiga.

“I came to tell you that the senpais will be here in ten minutes. Clean up until then.”

“It's okay. Tsugeura-chan didn't hit much, it won't take long to clean up after him.”

“Akashi!”

You chuckle softly.

It's cloudy today. Suo's warm hand gently wraps around yours. You squeeze his fingers and try to absorb as much warmth as possible.

Your chest feels light.

***

@HayatoSuo, 3:21 a.m.

apple or orange

@Akashii, 3:23 a.m

why are you up

and what kind of poll is this

iq test?

@HayatoSuo, 3:23 a.m

rice or ramen?

@Akashii, 3:23 a.m.

do not

even

think

about

it

go to bed

im just finishing up

@HayatoSuo, 3:24 a.m.

You don't leave until 6 on Saturdays.

I know you skipped lunch today.

@Akashii, 3:24 a.m.

wow, cool, ig

what else do you know

@HayatoSuo, 3:25 a.m.

So what can I get you? The shop closes in twenty minutes.

@Akashii, 3:25 a.m.

tiger shrimp and black caviar, please

@HayatoSuo, 3:25 a.m.

I'm serious, Akashi. You have to eat.

@Akashii, 3:25 a.m.

me too

@Akashii, 3:32 a.m.

pudding

@Akashii, 3:33 a.m.

with vanilla, if you can

@Akashii, 3:37 a.m.

thank you, Suo.

***

When you arrived in Makochi, the first thing you did was look for a job. After searching for a while, you finally found what you were looking for. Since then, you've been working in a bar. There was nothing wrong with that. It was a fairly quiet and decent place, mostly frequented by tired men after their work shifts. Your boss was understanding. He agreed to hire you part-time. You had a flexible schedule, a stable salary, and a rather friendly staff. Not that you interacted much with your co-workers, but the lack of hostility and the willingness to cover for you in emergencies was gratifying.

If one of your co-workers was asked what specific position you held, hardly anyone could answer. It was easier to say what you didn't do. You were a waiter, a cleaner, a deliveryman, sometimes even a bartender when he took a break and the customers wanted something right away. Of course, it paid more. That's all you needed, so you didn't complain.

Never complained.

Even on the hard days. Even when you felt like you were going to pass out from exhaustion and it was hours before closing time.

Today was one of those days. The bar was particularly busy, and there was a shortage of workers, so you were torn between the room and the kitchen, and then there was the grocery delivery, which you had to unload almost alone because everyone was busy. On top of that, you didn't sleep well again, and your favorite pastry shop didn't have any lemon tarts today.

Your eyes glaze over as you walk out the back door of the building on wobbly legs. You stop on the steps, cover your eyes, and blissfully face the gust of cool wind. It tangles your hair, teases the edge of your loose sweatshirt, and burrows under your t-shirt, sending a swarm of goose bumps.

You don't shiver. You loved the cold that took away your ability to think.

You recognize Suo's arrival, strangely enough, by the smell. He had brought more than you asked for, and yet he refused to share it with you, claiming it was all yours. As you finish the last piece of onigiri, you feel overwhelmingly weak.

Crickets are singing somewhere in the grass. The dark street is lit only by a single lantern in the distance. A sly breeze gently touches your hair. Someone's hot hand touches your face, tucking away the disheveled strands. The scent of jasmine lingers in your lungs.

Your head lands heavily on Suo's shoulder. Your eyes close. You don't understand why you feel so safe. Why you're not afraid.

You have to stay alert. You must never relax.

But your tired, well-fed body decides everything for you.

***

You don't know how long it's been before you wake up, struggling to open your eyelids. For the first ten seconds, you just try to remember your name and where you are.

You're lying on something soft, your nose resting on a black cloth. A jacket with green inserts is thrown over you. It's warm. Someone's hand is stroking your hair.

Recent memories slip into your mind.

Suo. Food. Steps. Work.

Right. Work. How long did you sleep? Your boss was here today. Surely everyone has noticed your long absence. Your colleagues won't be able to cover for you. You don't want to lose your job or pay a fine.

You abruptly rise from what appears to be someone else's lap. Furin's jacket falls from your shoulders.

“I have to go. My boss...”

“Came here fifteen minutes ago and let you go early today,” Hayato's palms rest on your shoulders, preventing you from getting up.

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Really? The old man never spares me. What did you say to him?”

Suo's eyes sparkle strangely. At night, you have the feeling you could mistake them for fire. He reminds you of someone.

A fox. A contented, tame fox.

“I wanted to take you home, but I remembered you never gave me your address.”

Oh, of course he won't tell you.

You hope that your boss won't chase you too much after talking to Hayato.

“Are you asking for a visit?”

“Maybe.”

***

“No, seriously, what kind of conditioner do you use?”

“Just water... and shampoo... sometimes.”

“Oh, what brand do you prefer?”

“Three-in-one.”

Nirei, who had perked up his ears next to you, started scribbling something in his notebook.

You leaned back in your chair, basking in the sunlight and the deft movements of another man's hands in your hair. Mitsuki liked to play with your hair, and this morning he'd wanted to do yours. It was just a half-done ponytail on top of your head anyway, so you didn't mind.

The classroom was half empty because it was a long break and everyone had gone about their business.

Suddenly, the door opens with a bang. You seriously wonder if you're all going to have to pay for a new one. A panting Enomoto flies into the classroom.

“Again?” someone at the back of the desks grumbles exhaustedly, “But we cleaned on Friday! It's only Monday!”

Waving them away, Takeshi looks around the classroom with an attentive gaze and asks casually:

“Is Akashi-kun here?”

Your eyebrow twitches irritably. “Cover me,” you whisper to the boys while you slowly try to crawl under your desk.

The unimpressed vice captain hovered over your desk. Nirei chuckled awkwardly and bowed to the senpai as a sign of respect, Kiryu just smiled as he looked at you.

“Try harder next time,” Enomoto says and pulls you out by your neck. You squint in pain. Your arms hang from your body.

“Next time I'll jump out the window.”

“Dream on. We'll get you out of the down.”

You sigh: you can't escape.

“Risa-chan is lost again. You go look for her,” Takeshi says calmly, still holding you by the collar like a guilty puppy, and starts walking towards the exit. Mentally mocking him, you reluctantly follow. What a pain.

The thing was, as it turned out, you had a superpower: you were an animal magnet. One day, Risa-chan jumped on your back, clawed at your jacket and refused to get off. You had to walk all the way back to her elderly owner's house, earning puzzled looks from passersby. From then on, every time she ran away, you were the one they turned to. You weren't very happy about it.

Undoubtedly, you loved animals. Sometimes even more than people. It was just so torturous, disturbing, and afterwards that sweet old lady always dragged you to her for tea, and talking to her made you tired.

So you'd like to avoid that fate.

Your perfect plan to run under the desk didn't work out. What a tragedy.

“You're not even going to ask me?”

“That's Kaji-san's order. Are you going to challenge your esteemed senpai's decision, kid?”

“Not even a thought,” you smile, “but was there no one else?”

“Suo-kun is coming with you.”

“Оh?”

Indeed: as you approach the door, you see a smiling Hayato leaning against the wall. When Suo hears footsteps, he rushes over to you and examines you with an inexplicable tenderness. It doesn't last long, though: his gaze suddenly darkens as he stops where Enomoto's hand had carelessly held you by the collar.

Maybe it's just your imagination, but his angelic smile takes on a sharp edge. Before you can blink, the large, calloused fingers at the back of your neck unclench and are replaced by another, careful and gentle.

“Hello again, Enomoto-senpai, Akashi-kun,” Suo greets you, and you look at him in surprise. Is he angry? Why? “Can you tell me where Risa-chan was last seen? It would really help us in our search.”

“Oh, sure,” Enomoto muttered and began to explain. You didn't listen, as Suo's warm fingers touched the spot where you had been pulled. You closed one eye and blinked at Hayato: he didn't look at you. He finished adjusting the cloth and ran his fingers gently over the back of your neck. After running his fingers over your skin for a moment longer, he finally placed his hot hand on your shoulder blades.

It burns. Your neck burns. Your ears, for some reason, too. You lower your gaze to the floor: what's wrong with you?

In your mind, you curse Kiryu, the reason your neck is exposed today.

Soon Enomoto finishes, and you go off in search. You're not ashamed that you weren't listening. It's hardly helpful: the cat could have run away a long time ago.

Suo's hand is still on your back as you walk down the street. Still leaves a chemical burn.

“Are you mad?”

Hayato's eye narrows in surprise. He doesn't turn to you.

“No. Why would I be?”

“You seemed annoyed,” you say calmly, kicking a pebble in the road.

“How'd you figure that out?” his ingratiating gaze is on you now. You don't sense any malice. Curiosity, perhaps. And something else you can't quite figure out.

Oh, so you were right. He did look angry.

“Donnow... It's just that your smile was different, and your voice-”

“Do you understand the intonation of my smile?”, Suo rarely expresses his surprise openly, but this moment probably does.

“U-uhm yeah?... maybe...”

“You're amazing, Hoshi-kun,” Suo laughs affectionately. You can't understand why. Did you say something funny?

“Am I?” you raise your eyebrows and meet his gaze. Your serene face is illuminated by the light of his smile.

You feel like you've been bathed in sunshine. Still, you can't understand why.

“Definitely.”

[sleepylaing]

Imagine the shock the furin boys get, when they found out about the friend they think is a male turn out to be a female, that disguised as a boy.

Last night I'm thinking about maybe the reason she disguised as a boy, because her parent want a kid with gender boy not a girl, then they forced her to dressed like a boy and act like it.

Suddenly goes to assasination Classroom anime and Thinking about how nagisa's mother forced Nagisa to dressed like a girl and forced her and maybe thats why the father divorced his wife.

But, I wonder will suo love her/us?

oh yeah im so excited to write it but i think akashi's revelation won't be easy at all. as for her, as for the boys (me too).

actually i REALLY like your theory, but the reason is not in the parents. it is still related to her family in general though (the rest is spoiler). now that ive read your theory it seems more logical to me than mine lmao

and in response to your last words. I don't really think Suo would stop loving her, but he will definitely be disappointed and confused. unless he figures it out first, what is most likely.

thanks for your opinion!!!!

[sleepylaing]

Énouement [2]

“Suo-kun is coming with you.”

“Оh?”

Indeed: as you approach the door, you see a smiling Hayato leaning against the wall. When Suo hears footsteps, he rushes over to you and examines you with an inexplicable tenderness.

It doesn't last long, though: his gaze suddenly darkens as he stops where Enomoto's hand had carelessly held you by the collar.

← previous chapter.

ch 2. A fox.

“What's your secret?” asks Tsugeura in surprise when you once again hit the paper in the trash without a mistake. Eight out of ten to his four. You were definitely in the lead.

“Hm... maybe I don't eat a bucket of protein for breakfast or keep weights under my pillow.”

Kiryu giggles and sits down next to you. Taiga swallowed indignantly.

“Hey!”

“He's right, Tsugeura-chan. Didn't you tell us that you always have your dumbbells handy?”, Kiryu jokes while you lose interest and start looking at the holes in your pants. Looks like you'll have to pay for new ones after all. Your little lie that it was just the design becomes less and less believable with each new scuff.

“But that doesn't mean I'm sleeping with them, right?”, Taiga picks up another piece of paper and throws it in the trash... and misses again.

“You're straining your arm too much when you throw,” you say suddenly, still looking at the ground, and both boys turn to you in surprise, “and calculate your strength. You're not bad at aiming, but that's not all that matters.”

“I didn't know that you are also a good teacher, Akashi-kun,” you recognize the voice as Suo approaches you. “I see the cleanup is in full swing,” he adds, looking around your makeshift competition arena.

“Tsugeura-chan, you said the loser buys the dessert. I want the one with strawberries.”

“But I haven't lost yet!”

You frown and think for a moment. Then you shake your head.

“Nah, I'd rather have the one with lemon syrup. It's cheaper.”

"Are you listening to me?" groans Tsugeura and jabs at you when he doesn't find any remorse on your calm face, “Suo-kun, take him away! Only you can stand the merciless indifference of this blond demon.”

“Why is that? I mean, I even chose the cheaper one,” you raise your eyebrows in surprise.

In the next second, Suo leads you away, smiling apologetically at Taiga.

“I came to tell you that the senpais will be here in ten minutes. Clean up until then.”

“It's okay. Tsugeura-chan didn't hit much, it won't take long to clean up after him.”

“Akashi!”

You chuckle softly.

It's cloudy today. Suo's warm hand gently wraps around yours. You squeeze his fingers and try to absorb as much warmth as possible.

Your chest feels light.

***

@HayatoSuo, 3:21 a.m.

apple or orange

@Akashii, 3:23 a.m

why are you up

and what kind of poll is this

iq test?

@HayatoSuo, 3:23 a.m

rice or ramen?

@Akashii, 3:23 a.m.

do not

even

think

about

it

go to bed

im just finishing up

@HayatoSuo, 3:24 a.m.

You don't leave until 6 on Saturdays.

I know you skipped lunch today.

@Akashii, 3:24 a.m.

wow, cool, ig

what else do you know

@HayatoSuo, 3:25 a.m.

So what can I get you? The shop closes in twenty minutes.

@Akashii, 3:25 a.m.

tiger shrimp and black caviar, please

@HayatoSuo, 3:25 a.m.

I'm serious, Akashi. You have to eat.

@Akashii, 3:25 a.m.

me too

@Akashii, 3:32 a.m.

pudding

@Akashii, 3:33 a.m.

with vanilla, if you can

@Akashii, 3:37 a.m.

thank you, Suo.

***

When you arrived in Makochi, the first thing you did was look for a job. After searching for a while, you finally found what you were looking for. Since then, you've been working in a bar. There was nothing wrong with that. It was a fairly quiet and decent place, mostly frequented by tired men after their work shifts. Your boss was understanding. He agreed to hire you part-time. You had a flexible schedule, a stable salary, and a rather friendly staff. Not that you interacted much with your co-workers, but the lack of hostility and the willingness to cover for you in emergencies was gratifying.

If one of your co-workers was asked what specific position you held, hardly anyone could answer. It was easier to say what you didn't do. You were a waiter, a cleaner, a deliveryman, sometimes even a bartender when he took a break and the customers wanted something right away. Of course, it paid more. That's all you needed, so you didn't complain.

Never complained.

Even on the hard days. Even when you felt like you were going to pass out from exhaustion and it was hours before closing time.

Today was one of those days. The bar was particularly busy, and there was a shortage of workers, so you were torn between the room and the kitchen, and then there was the grocery delivery, which you had to unload almost alone because everyone was busy. On top of that, you didn't sleep well again, and your favorite pastry shop didn't have any lemon tarts today.

Your eyes glaze over as you walk out the back door of the building on wobbly legs. You stop on the steps, cover your eyes, and blissfully face the gust of cool wind. It tangles your hair, teases the edge of your loose sweatshirt, and burrows under your t-shirt, sending a swarm of goose bumps.

You don't shiver. You loved the cold that took away your ability to think.

You recognize Suo's arrival, strangely enough, by the smell. He had brought more than you asked for, and yet he refused to share it with you, claiming it was all yours. As you finish the last piece of onigiri, you feel overwhelmingly weak.

Crickets are singing somewhere in the grass. The dark street is lit only by a single lantern in the distance. A sly breeze gently touches your hair. Someone's hot hand touches your face, tucking away the disheveled strands. The scent of jasmine lingers in your lungs.

Your head lands heavily on Suo's shoulder. Your eyes close. You don't understand why you feel so safe. Why you're not afraid.

You have to stay alert. You must never relax.

But your tired, well-fed body decides everything for you.

***

You don't know how long it's been before you wake up, struggling to open your eyelids. For the first ten seconds, you just try to remember your name and where you are.

You're lying on something soft, your nose resting on a black cloth. A jacket with green inserts is thrown over you. It's warm. Someone's hand is stroking your hair.

Recent memories slip into your mind.

Suo. Food. Steps. Work.

Right. Work. How long did you sleep? Your boss was here today. Surely everyone has noticed your long absence. Your colleagues won't be able to cover for you. You don't want to lose your job or pay a fine.

You abruptly rise from what appears to be someone else's lap. Furin's jacket falls from your shoulders.

“I have to go. My boss...”

“Came here fifteen minutes ago and let you go early today,” Hayato's palms rest on your shoulders, preventing you from getting up.

You raise your eyebrows in surprise. “Really? The old man never spares me. What did you say to him?”

Suo's eyes sparkle strangely. At night, you have the feeling you could mistake them for fire. He reminds you of someone.

A fox. A contented, tame fox.

“I wanted to take you home, but I remembered you never gave me your address.”

Oh, of course he won't tell you.

You hope that your boss won't chase you too much after talking to Hayato.

“Are you asking for a visit?”

“Maybe.”

***

“No, seriously, what kind of conditioner do you use?”

“Just water... and shampoo... sometimes.”

“Oh, what brand do you prefer?”

“Three-in-one.”

Nirei, who had perked up his ears next to you, started scribbling something in his notebook.

You leaned back in your chair, basking in the sunlight and the deft movements of another man's hands in your hair. Mitsuki liked to play with your hair, and this morning he'd wanted to do yours. It was just a half-done ponytail on top of your head anyway, so you didn't mind.

The classroom was half empty because it was a long break and everyone had gone about their business.

Suddenly, the door opens with a bang. You seriously wonder if you're all going to have to pay for a new one. A panting Enomoto flies into the classroom.

“Again?” someone at the back of the desks grumbles exhaustedly, “But we cleaned on Friday! It's only Monday!”

Waving them away, Takeshi looks around the classroom with an attentive gaze and asks casually:

“Is Akashi-kun here?”

Your eyebrow twitches irritably. “Cover me,” you whisper to the boys while you slowly try to crawl under your desk.

The unimpressed vice captain hovered over your desk. Nirei chuckled awkwardly and bowed to the senpai as a sign of respect, Kiryu just smiled as he looked at you.

“Try harder next time,” Enomoto says and pulls you out by your neck. You squint in pain. Your arms hang from your body.

“Next time I'll jump out the window.”

“Dream on. We'll get you out of the down.”

You sigh: you can't escape.

“Risa-chan is lost again. You go look for her,” Takeshi says calmly, still holding you by the collar like a guilty puppy, and starts walking towards the exit. Mentally mocking him, you reluctantly follow. What a pain.

The thing was, as it turned out, you had a superpower: you were an animal magnet. One day, Risa-chan jumped on your back, clawed at your jacket and refused to get off. You had to walk all the way back to her elderly owner's house, earning puzzled looks from passersby. From then on, every time she ran away, you were the one they turned to. You weren't very happy about it.

Undoubtedly, you loved animals. Sometimes even more than people. It was just so torturous, disturbing, and afterwards that sweet old lady always dragged you to her for tea, and talking to her made you tired.

So you'd like to avoid that fate.

Your perfect plan to run under the desk didn't work out. What a tragedy.

“You're not even going to ask me?”

“That's Kaji-san's order. Are you going to challenge your esteemed senpai's decision, kid?”

“Not even a thought,” you smile, “but was there no one else?”

“Suo-kun is coming with you.”

“Оh?”

Indeed: as you approach the door, you see a smiling Hayato leaning against the wall. When Suo hears footsteps, he rushes over to you and examines you with an inexplicable tenderness. It doesn't last long, though: his gaze suddenly darkens as he stops where Enomoto's hand had carelessly held you by the collar.

Maybe it's just your imagination, but his angelic smile takes on a sharp edge. Before you can blink, the large, calloused fingers at the back of your neck unclench and are replaced by another, careful and gentle.

“Hello again, Enomoto-senpai, Akashi-kun,” Suo greets you, and you look at him in surprise. Is he angry? Why? “Can you tell me where Risa-chan was last seen? It would really help us in our search.”

“Oh, sure,” Enomoto muttered and began to explain. You didn't listen, as Suo's warm fingers touched the spot where you had been pulled. You closed one eye and blinked at Hayato: he didn't look at you. He finished adjusting the cloth and ran his fingers gently over the back of your neck. After running his fingers over your skin for a moment longer, he finally placed his hot hand on your shoulder blades.

It burns. Your neck burns. Your ears, for some reason, too. You lower your gaze to the floor: what's wrong with you?

In your mind, you curse Kiryu, the reason your neck is exposed today.

Soon Enomoto finishes, and you go off in search. You're not ashamed that you weren't listening. It's hardly helpful: the cat could have run away a long time ago.

Suo's hand is still on your back as you walk down the street. Still leaves a chemical burn.

“Are you mad?”

Hayato's eye narrows in surprise. He doesn't turn to you.

“No. Why would I be?”

“You seemed annoyed,” you say calmly, kicking a pebble in the road.

“How'd you figure that out?” his ingratiating gaze is on you now. You don't sense any malice. Curiosity, perhaps. And something else you can't quite figure out.

Oh, so you were right. He did look angry.

“Donnow... It's just that your smile was different, and your voice-”

“Do you understand the intonation of my smile?”, Suo rarely expresses his surprise openly, but this moment probably does.

“U-uhm yeah?... maybe...”

“You're amazing, Hoshi-kun,” Suo laughs affectionately. You can't understand why. Did you say something funny?

“Am I?” you raise your eyebrows and meet his gaze. Your serene face is illuminated by the light of his smile.

You feel like you've been bathed in sunshine. Still, you can't understand why.

“Definitely.”

next chapter →

[sleepylaing]

Énouement

You are something hot on my eternally cold hands. You are the spring morning sun, while I am the fall raindrops dripping down the glass. You are something loving on my eternally cold self. You are something important on the infinitely insignificant me. You are everything, and I've never had much,

which is probably why I want you so deeply.

a/n: it's a fem!reader (disguised as a student furin) × suo. there's definitely a backstory here that hasn't been written yet and I'm not sure anyone wants it written at all. so this is just my OC and her interactions with others. let me know if you want a part two or something. and please don't take it too seriously

ch. 1 — Adronitis.

The classroom door swings open, almost flying off its hinges. Many of the students are distracted from their work and turn to hear Enomoto's booming voice. A silent Kusumi walks to his right and only a grumpy Kaji reluctantly follows.

“All right, you brats, listen up! You're going to clean up the town today, got it?”

A rumble of angry voices spreads through the classroom. “Again? But we cleaned up a few days ago,” someone says, and the rest of the class agrees.

“Shut up, you bastards! Are you men or what? I want every garbage can shining and the streets clean! Kaji will check it personally, won't he, Kaji?”, Enomoto turns to the uninvolved Ren, whose look was anything but interested. He catches his eye, stubbornly for a few seconds, then sighs hopelessly, looks around the classroom with a heavy gaze, and nods in agreement. Enomoto grins contentedly and rests his arms at his sides.

“Mop in hand and get to work! Tsugeura, Sugishita, help us with the heavy stuff, Kiryu, get the brooms, Sakura, you take care of the garbage collection, Nirei, please supervise, the rest of you help those I just named,” the vice captain says, but then his gaze glides over the students until it stops on two specific figures.

“Akashi, stop snoozing and leave Suo alone!” he shouts indignantly, and everyone hurries to turn in the direction of his stern gaze. “Just because you haven't gotten a punch for your insolence yet, doesn't mean you should! You'll soon be glued to each other. Hey, Suo, do something!”

You didn't move an inch and continued to snuggle into Suo's neck. You felt warm, comfortable and good. You didn't want to leave.

But apparently your senpais had other plans for your sweet, long-awaited sleep.

You frowned, picking up Enomoto's familiar timbre through the haze of rapidly slipping sleep. Something about cleaning, mops, and Kaji-kun again. The usual.

Your eyes are still closed. You don't want to get up. Suo's skin was soft — softer than any pillow you've ever laid on, his neck was nice to snuggle against, and he always smelled good: some kind of tea you didn't know the name of, the subtle scent of his cologne, and a little bit of shampoo. It was the perfect place to take a nap, especially when Hayato didn't seem to show his displeasure at temporarily serving as your pillow and held you almost weightlessly, allowing you to lean almost entirely against him.

“It's okay, Enomoto-senpai,” Suo says with an angelic smile as Enomoto's disgruntled look slowly starts to burn you alive. “It's just that Akashi-kun is a bit tired. Don't worry, we'll be right over. I'll personally make sure that he does all the work.”

Suo's expression definitely sounded reliable and convincing enough for the vice captain to calm down a bit and stand behind you. You snorted mentally. Of course Suo's voice would make sense against such an unreliable you. Anyway, you're grateful for the extra minutes of sleep.

Your peace doesn't last long, though.

As Tsugeura walks past you, he grabs your shoulders and tries to pull you away from Suo, whose serene smile fades for a moment. “Akashi-kun, get up now! You'll sleep through everything. I still want to compete with you in paper throwing, but I can't if you're still lying on Suo-kun like that!”

As a tough guy, obviously one of the strongest in the class, he manages to lift you up almost effortlessly, but you're not so easy either: you cling to Suo with a deadly grip and don't want to let go, and you moo long and protesting:

“Noooo... Tsugeura-chan, let go...”, sleepily, unintelligibly, you burn Suo's ear, and finally you struggle to open your eyes. The first thing you see is someone else's red lobe, but you don't dwell on it. “I promise I'll throw papers with you, just don't torture me.”

“What a drama,” Kiryu comments sarcastically as he walks past you.

“Akashi-kun always has a hard time getting up. Especially if he slept on Suo-san before,” Nirei says, thinking he's softening the situation, but in fact it's the opposite, encouraging Tsugeura to pull you down even harder.

“Hup!” he shouts, and in the next moment, you're already standing unsteadily on your feet. Your hands are still frozen in the air, clutching at the emptiness.

At this moment, Hayato finally raises his voice.

“Thank you, Tsugeura-kun, but enough,” he says, and his tone is impeccably warm as always, but you can detect a hint of irritation in it. “We'll take it from here.”

Taiga looks at him for a while, then at you. After he has decided something, he calms down and nods in agreement. “Well, I'll go then, senpais are waiting for me. Akashi-kun, I'll meet you at the dumpster.”

“Thank you Tsugeura-chan, you're such a gentleman. This is a great place to meet.”

“You know why, don't make me look ridiculous!”

“I had no idea,” you smile sweetly at him, and he, accepting the challenge, smiles back broadly as he leaves the classroom.

Suddenly, you turn around from the strange chill at the back of your neck to find a motionless Suo staring at the door. You can't remember ever seeing him stare at anyone or anything like that, but he thaws out after a few seconds anyway. The clinging gaze returns to you.

Suo's smile is infinitely gentle, but you can't help but feel that something is wrong with it.

“Shall we go?” he asks and you nod in agreement.

***

“You're more distracted than usual today,” Suo observes as you yawn again, not even bothering to cover your mouth with the palm of your hand. You've fallen behind the others, so he leans over to you and asks quietly: “Working late again, Hoshi-kun?”

You squint at him. As always, awfully smart.

You never told him that you work nights, too.

That's okay. It wasn't really a big secret. Especially from Suo.

You moo in agreement, lower your head and kick a pebble under your feet boredly. Suo's interested look eats away at your cheek like acid. He's obviously waiting for you to continue. Waiting for you to tell him more. You don't understand why he's so interested, but you give in and answer him calmly.

“I've had to work more lately, but I can't go out during the week because of school. I had to go out at night. So now I sleep when our teacher blinks, when my desk decides to be a little softer than a rock, and when you sit next to me.”

Suo's ruby eye flashes with pleasure at your last words. You don't see it. Too engrossed in the candy store sign with the announcement: 45% off Tuesdays and Thursdays. Too bad it's Friday, you mentally sigh.

“Did I satisfy your curiosity, Suo-chan?” you turn to him. You try again to understand why he was so interested, but trying to understand Hayato Suo is almost like trying to learn every language in the world in one day.

He's an enigma. But who says you're better?

“As much as it raised new questions in me.”

“Оh. Really?” you answer sarcastically. Your short ponytail had become quite disheveled during your nap, so that the blonde strands now fall over your eyes. You wrinkle your nose slightly, but keep your hands warm in your jacket pockets.

“Yeah.”

Someone's warm fingers gently touch your forehead. They tuck disheveled strands behind your ear with precise, careful movements. Hayato's fingers linger on your cheek longer than they should.

He does it quietly, naturally, and you say nothing, content to let the hair stay out of your face.

“Why do you need money so badly, Hoshi-kun?”

The question hits you like a bucket of boiling water down your throat and another bucket of ice water on your head.

“Don't all humans need it?” you laugh softly at the end. “I'm just thinking about my future, Suo-chan. I want to save for college.”

The lie falls from your lips as easily as hundreds of others before it.

The heaviness in your chest wraps itself around another layer. Another one of hundreds of others.

And even if Suo catches you at it, he doesn't say anything.

“You can tell me. I want you to know that I'll always listen to you, Hoshi-kun.”

No, I can't.

I can't tell anyone, no matter how much I want to.

“I will, Suo-chan. You don't have to worry.”

You both know that you are lying again.

Suo lets you do it, smiling brightly.

You don't want to admit — not even to yourself — that your heart trembles as you see his smile. Like he understands. Like he doesn't judge.

Like he really cares.

You find the strength to smile back weakly.

next chapter →

[sleepylaing]

When you go away for a week.

• Suo behaves quite naturally, and none of his friends even suspect that something is wrong. He's always smiling, always extremely calm, and his posture is perfect.

But inside of him, everything is raging. He's starving. Almost needy.

On the sixth day, Nirei, being the most attentive of their group, notices that he checks his phone more often than usual, teases Sakura with a particularly sharp intonation, and can hang out for long periods of time staring into space. At that moment, his gaze is lost, dimmed, and for a small second, a wistfulness creeps in.

Have you eaten today? Are you warmly dressed? Did you sleep well? Who did you talk to today? What made you smile? Do you miss him?

These questions are endless. They swirl in his mind like leaves in the wind for minutes at a time. He thinks of you when he washes his face with cold water in the morning, when he patrols the town with Sakura and Nirei, when he goes to lunch with them, when he stops at his favorite tea shop on the way home, and when he goes to bed.

In fact, he never seems to stop thinking about you for a second.

And, oh, how painful it is to have you so far away from him. Suo wants to see you. Hear your voice. Kiss your smile.

@HayatoSuo, 6:43 pm

I miss you.

@You, 6:43 pm

u already wrote that three minutes ago, dear

@HayatoSuo, 6:43 pm

I know, princess.

@HayatoSuo, 6:45 pm

I love you.

@You, 6:46 pm

I'll tell u in person in two days. just wait till I come over there and hug u to death

@HayatoSuo, 6:47 pm

You mean “kiss you”?

@You, 6:47 pm

u r impossible

@HayatoSuo, 6:47 pm

So what's your answer?

@You, 6:49 pm

maybe I'll think about it if you stop terrorizing my phone every minute

@HayatoSuo, 6:49 pm

Okay, princess.

@HayatoSuo, 6:49 pm

I'll do it every two.

Nirei notices the corners of Suo's lips lift slightly in a sincere smile as he stares at the screen of his phone.

***

• Sakura, on the other hand, feels lost, even if he doesn't realize it at first.

When you tell him that you'll be away for a week, he takes it calmly. He just tells you that he'll wait for you, and you kiss him goodbye, causing him to freeze and stare after you for a long time.

Nothing else.

The first few days he's a wreck. He trips over the door on his sleepy way to the bathroom, stumbles on the stairs, and almost knocks over an old lady carrying bags on his way to school. Suo jokes about his clumsiness, and then he finally comes to his senses for a while.

That same night, lying on the futon that has suddenly become particularly hard and uncomfortable, Sakura stares up at the cracked ceiling, trying to understand. He puts his right hand on his chest and tries to understand. In his mind, he thinks about your last kiss, the one he can't stop thinking about, and Haruka tries in vain to understand.

What was wrong.

For something was definitely wrong.

Something was empty. Something was missing. There wasn't enough in the chest where he pressed his cold hand. Fearful. Wrong.

There was something wrong with him today. Something was wrong when you didn't call him and say good morning. Something was wrong when he didn't hold your hand today. Something was wrong if you weren't there.

He doesn't like that. He doesn't know that feeling. Like he's dependent. Like he can't do it without you.

That's nonsense.

Haruka sighs tiredly and rolls over onto his side, closing eyes.

Maybe he should call you.

But...

It's okay. You said you'd be back in a week.

He'll wait.

***

On the sixth day, he can't take it anymore.

His finger hovers over your contact for a few minutes, then he finally presses it.

There are agonizingly long beeps during which he almost changes his mind, but he's stopped by the sound of your sleepy, calm voice:

“Yes, Sakura?”

His breath catches as he finally hears you. Some of the exorbitant, immeasurable weight is lifted from his shoulders, but his voice still trembles a little as he answers:

“Why... didn't you call?”

“Wha-”

“I missed you. I still do. Why didn't you call me this morning to wake me up? When are you coming back? You... are coming back, right?”

When he finishes, his throat is dry.

There's a faint silence. Until you finally find something to say.

“God, Sakura, I'm sorry. I miss you a lot too. It's just that it's a different time zone here and I thought it would be inconvenient for you to reply. .... I'm sorry, I should have texted you. I'll be back in two days. I think about you every day. It's very boring without you, you know.”

“I... will be waiting.”

And he will.

Something warm replaces the gray fear he felt before.

Happiness, perhaps.

[sleepylaing]

Rain, cats. You, us.

You think Sakura is like a wild cat. Bites the hand that strokes him, always running away, and incessant hissing and scratching.

It's okay. The scratches will heal, and the first petals of trust will finally bloom in their place.

The first time you see him is when you return from your part-time job. It's pouring rain, and you don't immediately notice the strange figure leaning over the ground. Unable to contain your curiosity, you step closer and a touching picture appears before you:

A cardboard box. A black umbrella covering it from the rain. Two small, tiny kittens inside - white and black. And a youthful hand, gently, almost tentatively stroking the fur of one of them.

The boy was completely soaked. But he seemed not to care at all. At the bottom of his multicolored eyes, you find a hidden tenderness.

Your hand reaches out on its own as you extend your umbrella over his head.

The black and white top immediately turns to look back at you in surprise. You freeze as those impossibly deep, blue amber eyes take in your face. The fragile tenderness melts away. In its place, wariness grows.

“What are you doing? Go. I don't need this.”

“Just copying you. Well, you look a lot like the two of them.”

“Tch.”

When you offer to take the kittens back to your place, he doesn't object. You ask his name on the way out, and he, blushing for some reason and stubbornly looking down at the floor, introduces himself glumly.

“I can take it from here,” you inform him as he sets the box on the mat in front of your door, “You're kind, Sakura-kun. You can come back here some other time if you're interested in seeing how they're doing.”

Sakura's shoulders suddenly tense, and you watch him pout and blush thickly again, muttering something to himself. It seems to be something not very friendly again.

You just smile fondly and wave goodbye.

Haruka doesn't wave back.

“Kind”.

He is not.

“Kind, kind, kind,” you say with a smile he doesn't understand.

He does not understand all of you. He doesn't understand the trick. And why you want him to come again.

“Kind, kind, kind,” you say, though it's not true at all.

It's you. You're the one being kind. You're the one who took the kittens in without a second thought.

Kind, kind, kind.

No.

“Come again,” — and by the gods, of course he never will.

Four days later, your doorbell rings.

“I brought them food.”

“How nice of you. I didn't know cats also ate ramen.”

“Shut up.”

You think Sakura is like a wild cat. Bites the hand that strokes him, always running away, and incessant hissing and scratching.

It's okay. The scratches will heal, and the first petals of trust will finally bloom in their place.

Together you decide that one of the kittens will go to live with him. Your father, returning from a business trip, has agreed to keep only one.

Even though you're already attached to the two of them, you don't mind if he lives with Haruka. You wrap him in plaid, and joke that it's your baby with him. Sakura, walking on your right hand, playfully pokes you in the side. Squinting slyly, you notice that his earlobes are flaming.

At some point on the way to his house, your hands intertwine.

“You blush sweetly.”

“Shut up.”

The heat from his ears flows over to his cheeks.

At the bottom of his pupils, you notice a once drowned tenderness that has resurfaced.

Sakura Haruka is a lonely man. Forever and ever.

Sakura Haruka is a man ignorant of love. Never giving it and never receiving it.

He doesn't know how to give it. Or how to receive it.

Maybe you can teach him.