slimesludge-space

[slimesludge-space]

Childish Love

....I had an interesting two...maybe three weeks and it got more interesting and not in a fun way...

Im also working on other simon fics, they just taking me a minute ×~×

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Mama once said

Don't fall for a man

Who acts like a child

Who won't grow up for a while

Mama she knew who he could have been

She saw what he was and saw what im worth

Mama once said

Don't fall for a man who won't put you first

Mama she knew

What I went for

She saw who I picked

And knew my own worth

Don't settle for worse

You know better than worth

Know what to hunt for

Man like a child, can't offer the world

Just whines and complain

Like life isn't worth

You pay for his time

Pay for his love

And get back half the price

Get back less than life

Don't struggle alone

Cause darling I know

Your father was one

And look what im worth

One long divorce

And loss all my life

I left for a man

Who knew my life worth

And now look I am

Happy and free

A man brought me peace

That I never learned

So come here my dear

And hear what im worth

Don't make take my advice

But know this my dear

Don't fall for a guy

Who acts like a child

He's got nothing to give

Nothing left to say

He complains to his friends

Knocks down your worth

Honey you know what's worst

Than hearing those words

Staying in place and standing alone

Whole he makes you mourn

The person you are

No need for advice

When you have your eyes

Is this what you want

Is this what your worth

Mama once said

Don't fall for a guy

Who acts like a child

Who lives like a kid

I saw what he's worth

Left him alone

No need for a child

When its not even my own

Mama was right

I know my own worth

I know what I want

I'll find it one day

So Mama was right

I live for my own

Don't need to Mama a man

Who acts like a child

I sit in cafés

I sit in the bars

Eyeing the men

Because Mama was right

There were even the signs

The men who were childs

The men who were class

The men with the anger

The men with the grin

Mama she knew

And I wish I did

But Mama your right

I'll take your advice

And carry my worth

Never again

Will I fall for a man

Who acts like a child

And questions my worth

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Interesting how bitterness and humming a tune can do

^~^

[slimesludge-space]

All because of some stupid pants?- Part 7 (Final)

Note: °~° oh this got chonckyyy. My lord.....I thought this was shorter

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Resting his head against his hands in attept to process his new reality. Simon felt the silent tug of his sleeve causing him to flicker his eyes up and hold his breath. You didn't look up at him, clutching your book as an anchor as you silently tugged his shirt. Knowing better than to question you at the moment, he followed silently by your side and took a moment to glance down at your hand. His heart sank a little as he took in the way you gripped his shirt, your hand clenching onto the book as you kept your head down and your gaze foward. He's seen this type of headspace before, it was when he first met you. Words were hard and you did better in doing than explaining. Simon followed without a word as he was lead to Uncle Will's shop once more.

Dear god he wasn't ready but he followed behind you with his head down. The familiar sharp bell as he waited for that same slogan that's been haunting his dreams at night but it never came. Confused as he looked up and William didn't offer them a glance, noticing the way he silently put down his newspaper and gave him a stern look. Did the old man knew from the beginning? Simon wasn't easy to trick and this man had managed to make him feel like shit with kindness. Guess the saying 'kill'em with kindness' was more affective than he originally thought.

You tugged his shirt a little harder when you felt him slow down. Voice small as you glanced up at Will "what size did you get him?"

Will couldn't help a smirk as he crossed his arms and proudly spoke up '3XL little lady' and you nodded as you took him to your favorite aisle. Simon gulped, feeling a little nervous as he leaned down in attempt to whisper once he got out of earshot

"I'm actually a 2XL... nearly tripped on my ass with the ones he got me. Fuckin near-killed me the first couple of days"

He nearly winced as you stopped in your tracks. Sifting through the different colored pajama pants before snapping up to look at him with a serious look and bluntly said loud enough "good." Before looking back at the racks. He can hear William snort and choke on his tea while hiding behind the other aisle, his dislike for the store was only growing.

Simon stiffened as you chose a pair. His eyes pleading for you to choose something else, anything but those. You gave him a deadpan look as you pressed them to his chest and pointed to the Will. Simon slumped and just trudged to the counter, his ears turning pink as he set down the pants and William cackled like a madman. Here he was, lieutenant Ghost. Buying pajama pants that were gonna kill him. Not just any pajama pants. Nope because that would be too easy. And Simon Riley forgot one thing about you. And that was that you were petty as hell when you wanted to be, you had always preferred the pettiness of inconveniences. Bright Bonita pink pants, with little glasses of milk, chocolate chip cookies and oreo cookies with each character having an adorable smile on them. Will had the bright idea to look back at you and ask if you wanted a bag which you politely declined. Simon grunted as he clenched his jaw and yanked out his wallet.

"Just give me the damn price already" plopping the cash on the counter and Will gleefully thanking him for his time.

You gave Will a small smile and held open the door for Simon, the bright pants tucked under his arm and noticeable from a mile away. You headed back to your place with Simon trailing behind you, if people were giving him a raised brow, he wasn't acknowledging it.

Simon sighed in relief when he made it to your place, stopping at the entrance of the livingroom with a slight frown. You had changed up the place and he didn't like it. He glanced around the place and noticed that it didn't feel like....you.

Knickknacks and small souvenirs you picked up randomly were gone from the shelves. Your books were carefully in order like usual but each one had sleeves and covers that hid the titles of the books, each one in a soft neutral color. The blankets and plushies that sat proudly on the couch were gone and instead replaced with a solid color and uncomfortable looking pillows and blankets you'd use to burrito yourself to read were now hidden away from sight. To him, the place turned into something you'd find in an open house brochure. Needles sewing in remorse through his heart when he looked around for any sign of YOU, the things that made it feel like home were gone. Was this all his doing? Did he really fuck up THAT bad? Did his little bird feel so hurt to hide everything that made you who you were? To hide the things that only made him fall more in love with you?

Simon swallowed the knot in his throat and turned back to you, ready to fall on his knees and beg you to take him back. To beg for forgiveness and kiss away the pain he caused, that everything you were was all he needed.

You pointed to the bathroom when he turned around and said in a voice that left no room for arguments "change"

Simon glance down at the pants and just quietly walked into the bathroom as you waited in livingroom. Your ears perking up at the sound of the plastic wrap ripped open then grew concerned when you heard a muffled curse. You winced when you heard what was possibly Simon hitting his head on the shelf you added a few days ago and a confirmation of a growling "fuck", your guest bathroom was always the smallest part of your place.

Simon rubbed his head with a scowl as he used his other hand pull his pink pajama pants up in order to not trip on his ass, already using what he's learned from the first death trap. He muttered to himself before finally looking up in his bulking form as he stood infront of you in all his bonita pink glory. You snorted immediately as you burst into laughter. Clutching your stomach from the sight of Simon slightly waddling and holding the sides of his pants up like a princess trying not to step on her dress. As humiliating as Simon felt, his heart warmed at your laugh and slowly stepped closer.

Slowly your laughter turned into a sniffle as tears burned your vision, as funny as the sight was, it didn't change everything that happened. This no longer felt like home. This was the worst fight you had with anyone in your own home, your own room making you tear up and walking to the livingroom made you relive the words he had no problem in growling out at you. Desperately trying wipe away tears and bitting back a sob. It wasn't fair, why were you the only one hurting and why did you think to bring him back to your place just to make fun of him.

Simon panicked and quickly pulled you into a tight hug. Freezing when he noticed how much smaller you felt. The way his hands brushed against your side and pressed softly to feel the barely there border of muscle that covered your ribs. You haven't been eating as much. You didn't look severely under weight but you definitely shed the weight you'd gain when he was with you. Fuckin hell he ruined a beautiful girl that did nothing wrong to him from the beginning. He held you gentler than ever and whispered softly, his voice wavering at your tears soaked his shirt.

"Shh it's okay lovie, fuck... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I was an ass, I hurt you so fuckin bad and I regret all of it. Please love, don't cry" he craddled your jaw in his hands and you whimpered which only broke his heart. Pressing his forehead against yours and nuzzling you. His hands threading in your hair to gently scratch your scalp, something you had always melted at but only made you whimper now. His thumb brushing away your tears as he whispered apologies.

"I'm fuckin sorry...you're my heart that I never.....I didn't want to hurt you" his voice cracking and the knot forming quicker than he can get his words out.

Your voice broke as you looked into his eyes "you dont get to do that. No walking away, I don't care if we fight but...y-you don't get to just leave" gripping his shirt like he was bound to disappear again. Simon blinked back tears and nodded. He sat down on the floor and pulled you into his lap. Arms wrapped around you when your breathing quickened. His arms were heavy but secure in the way you need in order to calm down. You weren't one to neglect your meds but now he wasn't sure of anything anymore.

He tilted your chin and lean in to kiss you but you covered his mouth and shook your head. Sniffling and swallowing back your cries "don't. I dont kiss and make up si....that....to me..that's...that's just...you can't just fuck the hurt away, or kiss to forgive. That's not me and I don't know if I can forgive...Simon, you called me a slut" you mumbled the last part because it still hurts. Sniffling as you looked down at your hands and picked at your fingernails. Simon frowned and muttered "I know. You've always been good to me in ways that I've never thought were possible before"

Simon gently placed his hand between yours. Gently keeping you from picking your skin till it bleeds. Resting his temple against the top of your head "My anger got the better of me. I did wanna talk about the clothes.....I fucked up a good thing with you"

You weren't sure why but now it didn't feel right to talk him about how you felt anymore. It didn't feel as safe as it once did but you pushed that feeling to the side no matter how much your instincts screamed at you.

"I don't trust you. You never talk and I'm not expecting you to tell me your life story. That's something you don't have to tell me if your not ready" you looked up in the eye and craddled his cheeck. Your heart hurts as he leaned into your touch and kissed the palm of your hand "But I atleast want you to look me in the eye and say 'I don't like it' even if I don't understand what that means. It gives me enough to know that you need space."

Simon cried, buried his face in your shoulder. Because you were right, you had done that so many times with him. You had given him space and offered silent support. He had offered his support in the same way, anchoring you in ways that the meds failed. Physical contact was your comfort, hiding in his side when crowds became too much. He wasn't sure where you two stand in this relationship.

You let him cry, rubbing his arm. He was remorseful. You saw it in the way his figure trembled with each quiet shaky breath. He was hurting and here you thought he was gonna jab at you with another insult to burn you. There was a part of you that knew you were gonna regret this in the future. Your friends would be disappointed but you knew you weren't alone if this thing goes sideways once more.

"I don't forgive easy but...Promise you won't leave again?"

Simon stiffened for a second before quickly nodding and holding you as close as possible

"Not leaving anymore. I promise sweetheart, you've got me forever and thats not changin" Simon pressed kisses to your shoulder. He knew it would take more than this to get you to truly forgive and he was gonna put in the work. He finally got another chance at having his little bird be his forever. And the first thing he was gonna do was get this place to look like home again.

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*was not prepared for 7 parts* ×~×

[slimesludge-space]

All because of some stupid pants?- Part 6

Note: Divine Intervention! °~° nobody is ready

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Simon didn't believe in wishing for anything. Nothing came from just stupid dreams that you can't follow through. In his line of work, prayers and idealization can only get you so far. Although a certain Scotsman was definitely making him believe in dumb luck and chance. Because at this very moment, that's exactly what it felt like. Maybe even a higher being laughing at his pathetic attempts at moving on. Simon just wanted a cup of coffee from a nearby shop, that's all this was supposed to be. But dumb luck and chance just wasn't on his side, or maybe it was? But it sure didn't feel like that for him.

He stood there awkwardly as he finished getting his cup of coffee, ready to turn and leave and meet up with Price to let him know about his fuck up. Only to nearly drop his mug when he finds you sitting outside at one of the tables with your nose in a book that he hadn't seen before, must be new considering he's kept note of all the titles on your bookshelves from his time there. Simon swallowed whatever nerves he had left, realizing he's been too much of a coward to just walk away once more. All he could think of was fuck it, if you were gonna yell at him again then he atleast wanted to say sorry in person before you left out of his life completely. It didn't feel right to keep your stuff, he knew some of the mugs he had were your favorites and how excited you'd been when your favorite author signed your book. He'll make sure to pack everything safely and place them at your door tonight, it's only fair and it wasn't his to keep. Even if he wanted a keepsake to remember you by, none of it was his in the end. Wiping away the sweat from his hands as he nervously walked over and set his cup down on the table and sitting across from you. Simon shifted in his seat as he placed his hand under the table to hide the slight tremble as he laced his hands together.

Oh you were NOT well. This was your first day out in the real world besides work. God is not on your side as you saw a random shadow come up and sit in front of you. Was this a sick joke? Did your friends do this? Were you ready to see him again? NOPE! But here you are in the middle of an internal panic gymnastic as your ex made himself comfortable while you were still processing the fact that out of all the coffee shops nearby, it just had to be THIS one. There goes your entire day. You had enough food at the house to cry over and finding another coffee shop until he either gets deployed or you put in a transfer. Running was a good option right about now for you. Maybe giving him a half ass story of a gold fish needing therapy would be a great way out of this situation.

"I'know you hate me but....can we talk?" Simon doesn't flinch easily but he couldn't hide the slight twitch as you snapped your book shut, crossed your arms and looked to the side instead of him. His heart leapt to his throat as seconds felt like hours, holding his breath for you to just yank your stuff up and leave. But you didn't, sure you weren't looking at him but you also weren't yelling at him either. If this was all he's getting then fuck it, he'll take it. Hesitantly placing his hands on the table before finally speaking up in a low voice

"I was stupid-" he began and was immediately corrected as you blurted out quick and simple

"A jackass" - your mouth worked faster than you can filter, heart sinking that Simon is just gonna up and leave. Watching yet another good relationship crumble because you could never do anything right at this point

Simon felt a bit relieved, having to hold back a chuckle before just nodding slightly. You always bit back and he didn't realize how much he missed it until now.

"Yeah. I was a jackass....the things I said back there, I didn't mean any of it. You were right, I should've talked to you about it. And..." Simon wasn't one for apologies and he definitely wasn't one for explaining anything even if was in the wrong. He wasn't sure if he was saying anything right at this point. Scratching at his stubble as he felt his frustration building up "I just..." The words dying on his tongue as he finally looked up at you. His skin crawling as he felt like he was under a microscope.

You looked at him, really looked at him for once. You weren't sure what your facial expression read but you could tell one thing for certain. He hadn't slept. Simon had a way of carrying himself, he was broody and had a way of letting everyone know to just fuck off with his presence alone. You didn't see that Simon, the one sitting in front of you right now was different. Simon doesn't squirm, he can stand still for hours and not break a sweat. The man sitting in front of you was tired in a way that you hadn't seen before. Was it anxiousness? No, that didn't feel right. Whatever it was, it didn't matter as you parted your lips and asked the one question that's been making you bite your bottom lip raw.

"Did you sleep with her?" Your heart clenched tight as your voice cracked. Whispering so softly as if speaking it out loud would only make it more true than the photo you've been dissecting for the past two weeks.

"No. No I didn't, that..I..I didn't know she took that picture or even sent it. I...*sigh* I only went out for a drink, she told me her name and I wasn't interested. All I thought about was you. On my fuckin life, i mean it"

You glanced down at his hands. Fist clenched but you can still see the slight tremor in them as his voice wavered. The way his eyes flickered over your features in a desperate attempt to find any hint of what you were thinking. To Simon, you looked so done with the conversation before it even began, that showed him more than enough that it was too late for a second chance. So it didn't surprise him when he watched you slowly get up. All he could do was watch as your hand settled on top of your book and picked it up. Needing to clench his hands together to keep himself from reaching out to you.

His mouth felt like cotton, his entire body felt hot and the clothes he was wearing were suffocating. A million thoughts of how to apologize vanished. He fucked up. And now the last time he'd hear your voice and it's laced with fear and pain that hurt just as much as hearing you cries behind that door. He'd have to call his captain to keep himself from drinking into a coma. The world under him crumbling as he fell back into his thoughts and everything around him narrowed to a point. You were a certain type of home he never had in his life. Soft and cozy but always able to put him in his place when he got rude with others. The nights he'd wake up from a nightmare and wanted space while you sat a distance away from him, not expecting anything until he layed his head on your lap and you'd run your fingers through his hair without a word. A solace. A heaven after hell, gone.

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×~×

[slimesludge-space]

All because of some stupid pants?- Part 5

《Nothin but misunderstandings 》

Note: °~° the litte serotonins

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Waking up one morning with a sketchy black bag tied to your door was not what you expected. It was even less expected when you peeked inside to a crumpled note and pajama pants?

Your chest tightened when you found what was inside, the familiar shitty handwriting of the man who left. Wanting nothing more than to throw the bag away until you recognize what was inside, heart fluttering and sinking at the same time. Did Simon really go to Uncle Will's? Pursing your lips skeptically before chuckling at the image of Simon 'Ghost' Riley picking out clothes that he labeled as shitty. You couldn't help tracing the shaky scratch of his name. Your eyes flickered into the bag with a slight quirk of your lip, William chose those out. Just the sight of them was enough to know that Simon wouldn't be caught dead in picking any of them out. You pulled out the skulls and bones, quirking a brow when you found the receipt peeking out of the pocket.

'I'm not a man of violence little lady, that doesn't mean I can't make it hurt for the bastard. If you see one missing, you know where it's at now -Will'

If you weren't confused before, you definitely were now. Flipping the receipt over and recounting how many were in the bag before everything settled in. Sure enough, one was missing and you definitely don't go for the 3XL comfy Jammies. You looked down at the receipt, a spark of comfort fluttering to life. After days of your friends begging you to go out to the bar to prove to your ex he wasn't something special. Not having the heart to tell them about what really happened and if you had listened to them, it would only prove he was right and that you were just as easy to sleep with as he thought.

Instead you kept your mother's words in mind 'it's not the end of the world when a man breaks your heart. It's gonna hurt just as much as you love him but your world shouldn't stop because of one man. Stopping everything means he's hurt you enough to break you and thats not a man worth keeping in mind'

Just like your mother, seems like William was the only one to understand even when you only gave him the bare minimum of what really happened. Putting the notes to the side and making a mental note to stop by his shop tomorrow. If there's one thing Simon taught you. It was that you needed to learn to stand up for yourself and you couldn't help but frown while rubbing your palm as an attempt to self soothe your nerves.

You weren't afraid to admit that this took a big toll on you in the end. Ripping out the scraps of confidence you had barely built for yourself before and during the relationship. In the back of your mind, you had worried that you weren't Simon's type. That there was an ulterior motive to him loving you and those fears had come true.

You were still a mess, regretting giving him back everything and wishing you had just kept ONE shirt for comfort. It took everything you have to keep your self-respect and not unblock him and beg for another chance. The urge to call him while drunk and tell him you'd throw everything away if it meant he would come back and make everything better. That you wouldn't step one foot near that shop if it would make him happy.

When those thoughts truly sank in, it felt like you were just tearing down what made you the person you were today. Throwing out comfort and the nice old man from the shop who was basically a father figure to you. It made you feel sick and downright pathetic. Simon didn't need a girlfriend like that and you didn't want to live a life without the little things that kept you sane and brought just a little bit of dopamine in your life. A bit of happiness that didn't come from another person or a guy you really wanted to impress and love.

Life had little to offer when it came to comfort, Simon didn't know how much clarity his words brought. And how much destruction it had brought to your little safe heaven that you kept close to your heart.

Sometimes you needed something different than anxiety meds. You just wanted something that would force you to stop thinking for a moment. To be able to wake up tired or feeling like shit and heading to the kitchen forgetting what it meant to function as a human. Shuffling for your favorite mug and pouring yourself a coffee, only to look up and realize that you were wearing pastel pink pajama pants with Bender flashing his ass. There's nothing like turning around slightly and remembering that right over the curve of your ass, custom made by Will himself. In bold hot pink. 'Bite my shiny metal ass'. It never fails in making you nearly snort your coffee.

Shaking off the little hope that Will's note gave you and setting everything aside. You decided to stop wallowing in your own self pity and finally had a day for yourself and enjoy the little things you've always done. Your safe space may have fallen and fractured but you knew that with some time, you can rebuild it. Even if your heart wasn't into it at the moment.

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[slimesludge-space]

All because of some stupid pants?- Part 4

《Nothin but misunderstandings》

Note: Simon's first near death experience ×~× and wounded pride °~°

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Looking around the shop and he could already tell that he was NOT saying anything about your pants being the shittiest thing he's even laid his eyes on. And there was no way he was telling soap about this place's existence either.

"Uh yeah... thanks?" Simon was at a loss for words, this shop definitely lived up to its slogan and picturing YOU of all people buying clothes from here? Now he REALLY felt like a jackass. The shop owner notices him faster before Simon can step out of the door. An older man in his late fifties in casual black slacks with a purple turtleneck and blazer to match. And gave a low whistle as he appeared from behind the clothing racks

"Well as I live and breathe! THE Simon Riley. Hmph?...a lot bigger than i thought you'd be"

Simon knew better than to leave without answers now as he shut the door and finally walked to the shopkeeper with a hard stare and rigid posture. Before grunting out "You know me?"

He gave the man a full once over as the shop keeper gave him a charming smile behind his dark shades. "The Missus comes by here with her friends, they've been teasing your little lady when they heard you managed to snatch the poor girl's heart. Haven't seen her in a while, was hoping she'd drag you here herself" the shopkeeper shook Simon's as he introduced himself as William.

A slap to the face is what this felt like. Simon never felt shorter than the 5ft man that was in front of him right now. He felt like a kid being fondover as if he didn't finish just breaking a girl's heart. Looks like you never told him. And to hear someone call you his Missus? the only thing missing now was putting his last name after it. That was just rubbing salt on a festering wound at this point. Simon had to clear his throat and shake off the thoughts that only felt like a dream at this point.

"She hasn't been around?" Shifting his boots as the weird ass clothes were starting to look particularly interesting right now, his gaze falling on a familiar shitty looking goose. Fuck, at this point he'd rather be deployed than be in this damn shop.

"Haven't seen much of her lately but she's probably been busy with you" William nudged Simon's arm and it only made his skin crawl. His mouth clamped shut as the shopkeeper dragged him further into the hell of shitty fashion "since your here now! I'm suuuure the Missus wouldn't mind you buying a few sets for her. Just got a new shipment I've been dying to show her. You can even get a matching pair, on the house for taking care of the little lady. She's a good one, soft and shy that one is. Not like her friends, rowdy bunch of hyenas if you ask me."

Yup, this was starting to be the second worst decision Simon Riley has ever made. Heart twisting hard enough that he might need to call his captain to drive him to the ER. Hearing this old man gush about his girl....well, what once was his girl. Like a father fussing over a daughter being the best in the world. All Simon could do was stand there in his hulking form as the shop keeper showed him a variety of who ever the fuck was Tim Burton.

William chuckled as he handed him a pair that weren't as much of an eyesore than the others "you look like a guy who doesn't use color. This one's got your name on it."

Simon just stared at the pants in his hands, didn't have the heart to reject the offer of a size too big to wear. William gave the biggest grin as Simon just held a Neon green pajama pants with Jack Skellington and Oogie Boogie faces littered around with tiny pumpkins and worms?? The fuck was Simon looking at?

William picks out 3 other pairs for you in the size you love the most. All Simon could do was watch as he was dragged to the cashier while he was fishing out his wallet. A dark green pair with different types of cute pancakes and eggs. Another one of a character named Sally in a light blue and the last ones were of bones and skulls over black. They were advertised for glowing in the dark and if Simon was a little jealous of those, he didn't show it.

Simon quickly paid in cash and headed home, not wanting to start another conversation about his now Ex little bird. The bag of pants making him feel like he was in a never ending loop of suffering. Once home and being able to toss the bag on the counter as if it burned his skin. Simon just paced his apartment, cracking open a beer and eyeing the God forsaken bag like it was a bomb ready to go off. 3 beers in before he decided to open the pack and try them on and everything he thought before was proven right as he stared at himself in the mirror.

The pants made feel as stupid as he looked. Pissed and humiliated in the fact that he ACTUALLY tried them on and having to hold them up by his hand. grunting out a curse as he had to tie the dumb string because he knew he wasn't a 3XL. The stupid pants were a death trap in the making, nearly tripping out of the bathroom when his foot accidentally snagged the cuff at the bottom like a kid tripping on his shoelaces.

Snapping another beer open as he simmered in his anger and plopping himself on his couch with a grunt while muttering to himself

"The fuck is the point of these shits? Why cant she just be a normal adult and just use fuckin sweats, theres no point in these loose shitty built fuckin..." each curse came out with a growl. A few hours later he was still wearing them and a bit surprised he wasn't over heating like he usually does in his other choice of sweats. Fiddling with the strings as his anger finally calmed down. Maybe they were nice but he wasn't gonna admit it. He certainly wasn't gonna tell you that they were a lot more breathable than sweats or how they became his go to pants when he got home. It was nearly the end of the second week when he finally got the courage rip out a note and scrawl out 'Sorry for being an ass -simon’

He let out a deep breath as he stared at the note for what felt like hours, pocketing his keys as he headed to your place. Lord only knows why someone hadn't call the cops on Simon at this point. Here he was in the middle of the night in black sweats and a hoodie with a mask over his mouth. Standing outside your door for who knows how long with a black bag hooked loosely around his fingers.

At that point, Simon had made up his mind and just hooked the bag onto your door and left without another word. Going back home and changing into the stupid pants that finally started to grow on him. Finally coming to the realization that he lost the one good thing he had in this shitty life.

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○~○ *idk how many I'm doin* °~°

[slimesludge-space]

All because of some stupid pants?- Part 3

《Nothin but misunderstandings》

Note: this one a bit shorter but the next gonna be...a bit on the chonky side °~°

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Simon felt like a coward as he pulled his hand away from knocking at your door. The first step back gutted him and the other steps that followed only made the knife cut deeper as he picked up his clothes. sets the key down on the counter and locked the door behind him as he left the apartment.

Your sobs stopped, straining your ears as you heard each step and muffled rustling. The realization that everything was over finally sealed at the quiet click of the front door. Was it really that easy to leave? Was it too hard to fight anymore? Were you too harsh?

Your arms tightened around yourself as you finally glanced up at your scattered closet. Guys pants were more comfortable than some of the stuff they made for you. The fabric was thin and breathable with an adjustable string. Most of the time girls sleep wear were made with tight elastic and sometimes they were too short from the legs or stupid satin that made it feel like you were slipping out of bed and those fuckin pajama shorts covered absolutely nothing with how wide some are cut.

So why did it feel like it was your fault? That you should have known that guys would make assumptions at the sight of them. Did Simon really think you were a slut this whole time? Why did he stay? Did he really love you or was it because he thought you were easy?

Your thoughts swirled and drowned whatever soft memory you had with him. Smearing them in a twisted film filter of seeing everything as a way for him to have a quick fuck. After all, Simon wasn't bad looking. He was in a league of his own, a bit broody but the soft and constant presence he gave you was something you wouldn't have traded for the world. Not to mention that the girl in the photo was far better in every way. A short broken laugh leaving your lips at his new upgrade.

Two weeks, that's how long it had been since the shitty argument. The royal fuck up that Simon managed to create. The first week Simon waited for you to stop by his place to pick up your stuff. He had planned on using it as a way to beg for forgiveness and plead for another chance. But you never came, never came to pick up the unfinished books he carefully kept in the same spot on the shelf. Never came back for your favorite mugs stored in his cabinet or the spare duffle bag of clothes he placed in an empty drawer for you. He still had everything just the way you left it, from the shampoo brand you used, to the hair ties hanging off the trunk of a small white and blue painted circus elephant you had randomly found in a shop one day.

He spent that first week at the bar you two had met, hoping for the sliver of a chance that he'd bump into you. A part of him knew that going to your place would end up with another hard rejection and he didn't have the heart to face that yet. A week of going to that bar before it finally dawned on him how you two met.

How you told him flat out to his face that bars weren't really your style, that your friends dragged you for a girls night of fun. You were on your second drink that night when he ordered a glass of bourbon and noticed you perking up at brand. To him it looked like another girl just trying to get a free drink and was planning to joke about a small thing like you just after another free round. Your eyes twinkled as you blurted out about the history of how they are made like it was the greatest thing to talk about in the middle of a bar. All Simon could do was raise a brow as this random girl talked about what gave bourbon its unique taste. A smirk tugging his lips as you straightened up with pride about it.

Your eyes flickered to the side as your voice died down and a hand was placed on Simon's shoulder. He glanced at the hand before trailing up to find a girl far more his type, curled dark brown hair and a figure that he'd normally jump at the chance. Curved in all the right places and plushed all around. He barely caught your fake chuckle before the mystery woman spoke in a teasing tone

"Hey big guy, what's a tall, dark and handsome guy like you doin talking up my bookworm for?" Simon couldn't help but shift his eyes between the two of you. Watching the way you rolled your eyes and turned back to sip your drink like nothing was happening. He didn't like how quick you were in turning a blind eye before he spoke up

"Mind if I keep her a little longer? Was starting to warm up to her" Simon couldn't help pulling his shoulder away from her touch before shifting more towards you, not giving the girl a second glance "that'lright with you sweetheart?" And he couldn't hold back the deep chuckle as your eyes widen and the blush creeping up your cheeks.

You glanced up at Simon and noticed your friend giving a shit eating grin, already dreading what she was bound to say next.

"Alright big guy but we want her back in one piece. Go easy on her, she's a real softy" she patted his shoulder and you watched her practically scampering off to the table with your other friends. Thankful that he didn't turn back to witness your friend gossip to the others who immediately whipped their heads around and gave you a thumbs up and lifted their drinks high. Leaving you mortified and shy as you glance up at him.

"Um....that's Valerie, she means well I swear" Simon just laughed as your ears were practically turning pink.

Simon thought back at the memory as it made him question if he really knew you? Here he was, in the bar late at night thinking you'd walk through that door barely remembering your blatant dislike for the place. He downed the rest of his drink and walked out for the night to sleep it off so he can go to every book store near the area in hopes of bumping into you.

The second week went by. Six bookshops later and he came out empty handed with a heavy heart. He couldn't help rubbing the back of his neck and losing hope. Knowing that if he showed up at your door now, he was gonna get a barrel of insults and a door thrown at his face. He didn't want to let go just yet but he also knew that in reality, there wasn't a good reason for you to take him back.

Simon groaned, wishing he had went to his team earlier to help him win back who was supposed to be his future Missus Riley. Cracking his neck as his eyes found a shop he didn't expect to see across the street in a weird color purple written in cursive 'Uncle Will's clothing shop' the same name you had yelled and defended when he called the clothes shitty.

A barely there glimmer of hope and regret filled his heart as he hesitantly made his way to the shop. The bell ringing sharply as he entered and a voice called out from inside "Welcome to Uncle Will's clothing shop! Who needs formal when you can have funk!"

Simon was already regretting his decision rather quickly.

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*trying to figure out....spacing* ×~×

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All because of some stupid pants?- Part 2

《Nothin but misunderstandings》

Warning: argument, slut shaming, throwing type of violence but no one gets hurt

Note: °×° uuuh I just woke up....°~° this part 2 and most likely gonna go back to back on this one so it's in order....but thank you for reading so far!! °~°

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The next morning Simon woke up with a pounding headache, realizing a bit too late that he drank far more than he realized. Groaning out a 'fuck' as he sits up and grabs his phone. Rubbing his temple while his bleary eyes focused back on the 14 missed calls and 12 texts from you. Heart sinking farther down his ass as he notices the selfie he didn't know was taken last night. He gripped his phone as he fumbled to call you, only to realize his number was blocked. Freezing as it finally dawned on him while mumbling to himself

"no...no no no FUCK! Shit shit shit" Simon looked around as he yanked on his pants and bolted out the door and back to your place. Panting like the devil himself was after his ass, Simon stood at the front of your door. Hesitant of what he was gonna walk into, fear but more than anything the heavy weight of betrayal knocked the wind out of him as he remembered yesterday.

He clenched his jaw before unlocking your door and stepping in, ready to find out the fucker who's been sleeping with you while he was playing lovesick puppy chasing your tail. Not anymore, yet that train of thought vanished as soon as his eyes landed on the living room room. His steps fultering in confusion at his stuff thrown in the middle and a half packed trash bag thrown in the mix.

His heavy steps leading him to the living room as he took in the sight. Chest heaving as he was getting ready to shout out your name only to stop before he can take in a breath. Heart aching at the sight of you

Your door opened as you woke up to the sound of the front door opening and heavy footsteps, it could have been a robber but in this morning? you really couldn't give a damn. You froze at the doorway to your room, hand reaching back for support of the doorframe. You swallowed hard, knowing you probably looked like a wreck. Scratch that, you DID look like a wreck. Nose red and eyes puffy from crying, hair a mess. You sniffled and rubbed your cheek with your sleeve out of nerves.

“What are you doing here?” You internally winced as your voice broke and sounded raspy. You looked down at your toes that peeked from under your baggy pajama pants to avoid eye contact to the man you thought was great, who had no problem in leaving you to fuck another girl literally HOURS after being with you.

Simon clenched his fist “so what's all this huh? Guess your fuck'toy foun out about me?” He growled out as he stepped closer, his boot kicking the trashbag of his shampoos and whatever else he put in the bathroom before, now tossed in like garbage. “Seems I'm not good enough for your collection, sweetheart?” The once name of endearment now spat out like a venom of pure disgust.

You furrowed your brow as you looked up at him. Confused and hurt at the unfiltered resentment pointed towards you even after what he did. Offended and not one to flinch back, you stood as firm as you can after the last few hours of heartbreak you had to bare “What?....The FUCK are YOU talking about” you didn't question, you demand answers for the blatant disrespect and the accusation of being called a slut in your own home.

Simon bit out a laugh as he crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side mockingly “look at that, her true colors coming to light. You think I didn't see your closet you always kept closed? I saw the shirts, the fuckin shitty looking pants. You keep everything from the guys you fuck, huh? So what, I come in for a good fuck while you bring the next side dick over for seconds?”

Your heart felt like it was torn to shreds, you looked down at your clothes as it slowly clicked on what he was talking about. One thing went through your mind as your blood simmered passed a boiling point “oh. FUCK NO!” you shouted out as you snapped your head up to look at him. Anger and tears be DAMNED, this was not happening but it was. You stepped closer behind the couch as something in you snapped and burned like hell.

“are you fuckin telling me that all this shit was because of some fuckin PANTS? You fuckin stupid!?!” You shouted and Simon faltered for a minute, he's never seen this side of you before. But you didn't let him speak as you saw him ready to fight back.

“YOU SHUT THE FUCK AND LISTEN TO ME! You don't get to walk into MY apartment and call me a slut when I haven't FUCKED anyone else than you. YOU don't control what I buy with MY MONEY” you snapped and shouted as you threw a water bottle at him, which he dodged perfectly and that only managed to piss you off even more “you think I sleep in fuckin lingerie or some shit? What the fuck is WRONG WITH YOU!” Your voice cracked and hurt but you didn't stop there. You've had it, he wasn't the first to ghost you after you invited them over but he was definitely the only one that treated you so great that you brought him in earlier than you expected and whatever fear you had about it was squashed by how sweet he had been. He had even built a new bookshelf on either side of your TV set up in the livingroom.

“But nooooo. Simon Riley doesn't do communication!!!”

“Simon Riley doesn't talk about his feelings!!!”

“Simon Riley walks out when he's grumpy and FUCKS ANOTHER GIRL instead of having the fuckin BALLS to talk about his emotions!! Because god FORBID a man who COMMUNICATES in a fucking RELATIONSHIP!”

With each shout, he was met with another article of clothing being thrown at him.

“News flash you fucking ASSHOLE. Not every girl likes to sleep in fuckin shorts or panties and wearing a big shirt in fuckin 60 degree weather!! JACKASS! You think I sleep at your place without bra because i like it? I do it because of you! Sometimes not wearing a bra hurts and wearing see through lace bras are fuckin itchy. But do you notice? Nope, yet me wearing comfy clothes in MY apartment that I BOUGHT? Earns me the fuckin SILENT TREATMENT? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!” You threw the couch pillow at him which he didn't bother to dodge this time. Throat raw from yelling as you shouted your pain and tears fall down your cheeks faster than you can wipe away. You hiccup and heave as you babbled in anger.

“Uncle Will sells the best comfortable pants to sleep in. Y-...Y-You don't get to say SHIT about them…..*sniffle* AND THEY'RE NOT STUPID” your voice cracked as you cough and hiccup from exertion before you stood straight and tall as you turned back to your room “just….get your SHIT out of MY APARTMENT!” You slammed the door and leaned against it. The sob you were holding back finally slipped out as you slid down the door and pulled your knees up to hide. Gripping your hair as you sobbed and cried out of pain and humiliation. To think you had thought he'd be better only made the pain worst.

There was a name for how royally fucked Simon had made this situation. Your words finally sinking in and realizing how shit he had made the entire situation only knocked the wind out of him more. He swallowed thickly as he was gutted by your muffled cries from the other side of the door. His steps faltered as he tried to reach the door to your bedroom, the anger and hurt he felt before gone in an instant. The guilt drowning him and weighing each step. Simon knew he should have waited, he KNEW that asking where you got them would have solved this. It WAS supposed to be the thing he'd ask as soon as you woke up. His hand hovering, knuckles brushing against the wood as his ears picked up each hiccuped sob leaving your small form. His little bird was crying because of him. HIS girl shouting and hurting her voice BECAUSE of HIM.

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*oh so that's how you change colors* °•°

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All because of some stupid pants? -part 1

《Simon misunderstood who's pajama pants and shirts the reader has in her closet. Nothing but misunderstandings》

Note: first writing thing and terrible at spelling °~° sooo apologies if I didn't fix all of them °×°

This will be sliced into bits considering it ended up longer than expected.....enjoy??? °~°

Warnings: cursing, implied cheating, miscommunication, agnst

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Simon Riley was a dense man, never really understood it until now. You always came back to his place with a book in hand and bag of spare clothes. Dating a small little bird like you for 6 months now  before you began inviting him back to your apartment. It was a bit bigger than his place and a hell of a lot more books than he originally thought. 

To Simon it was strange being there at first before he also started to bring a few of his things along. You fussed about always going to his place when yours was closer sometimes after dates. Even giving him a key which sealed the deal for him. Sure they might have been going fast but you were gonna be his bird. He knew it the moment he took you back to his place the first time. You always kept him on his toes and he never knew what to expect from you.

Simon had gotten used to bringing you home to his place. Pulling you close and making you forget about where you placed the duffle bag so you would always end up in his clothes....even when he'd hide it and put it back as if it was always there in the first place and maybe you just didn't see it before?

Like a gentleman he is, he offered you his clothes. A T-shirt too big for you and the bold letters on the back that showed off 'RILEY' had always managed to turn him feral and bending you over the closest surface for some quick fun.

One day he stayed longer than a few hours at your place, coming back from a nice brunch and hanging out while his pretty bird talked about the new book you just finished. So imagine his surprise when his girl came out from the bedroom in another guy's pajama pants and a size or two too big of a hoodie he's never seen before. He felt his heart drop and his blood boil. His jaw locked tight while suppressing a growl as you innocently plopped down next to him and started the movie they were supposed to watch that day. At this point Simon didn't give a damn about the movie and more focused on what the fuck type of pants you were wearing. Stupid baggy pants with an even stupid pattern on them. He had to clear his throat from saying something else besides grunting out a question

"what are you wearing?" In as smooth of a voice he could muster while wanting nothing more than to burn everything you were wearing. His little bird had the nerve to innocently look up with the biggest grin as you stood up in front of him to show it off.

"What do you think? These are my favorite actually and look how deep the pockets are! I can literally fit a bag of Swedish fish in these" you stuffed your hands in the pockets like it was the most fascinating thing in the damn world.

Simon wasn't angry anymore....this man was PISSED as he glared at the revolting pants in front of him. Fuckin black pajama pants....MENS pajama pants with the pattern of Homer Simpson running for a fuckin donut and partially bitten donuts scattered around them. Simon's eyes flicker up a bit and clenched his teeth harder and finally read the hoodie for the first time 'peace is irrelevant' with the most stupid drawing of a goose with a knife he has ever had the misfortune of seeing. The only thought going through his head was 'the fuck am I looking at? Fuckin hell, soap would wear something this stupid' 

Simon Riley was baffled, wondering what kind of douchbag had managed to fuck his bird before him and what possessed her to KEEP it? All he could do was grunt out half a reply that sounded close to a 'yeah' before turning back to the movie. What used to be his bird only managed to tilt your pretty head and shrugged before snuggling back to his side.

His anger was boiling over more than he cared to admit, struggling to keep his cool before looking down and seeing you fast asleep. Letting out a deep sigh and grabbing the remote and flipping the TV off. Deciding to just ask you tomorrow about the owner of the clothes as he picks you up and heads to the bedroom. 

He stopped at the door, taking in the sight of knickknacks and books scattered on display around your room. He couldn't help the chuckle that managed to spill out when his eyes landed on the bed. Pillows and blankets to swim in and a large grumpy looking tiger plush standing proud on the bed. He gently tucked you into bed as his eyes flick up to notice the open closet, making his anger come back tenfold. Silently stalking towards your closet as he slightly nudged the shirts and revealed what he hated most. Yup, more fuckin men shirts than he could care to count. But what hurt the most was seeing a few of his inside the mix, like it was a fuckin collection of all the guys you've fucked in the past. But it didn't. God it didn't end even when he really wished it did.

The terrible bright patterns that managed to peak from his Peripheral vision made him want to punch the wall. He really wanted to give his girl the benefit of the doubt as he pulled the drawer open only to find more stupid looking pajama pants.

Simon's mind raced, his bird was loyal. Never gave the impression of anything otherwise. But even he couldn't deny that this room had enough clothes to show that someone else was definitely sleeping here besides you. His heart ached and cracked in two before hardening shut. He stiffened as he heard a muffled moan of his name slip into the air from the girl he thought was his.

rubbing your eyes before sitting up "sorry, I really did wanna see the movie. We could still cuddle though, I think I have some sweats you can borrow-" your words mumbling at the end and shifting to pull the covers off only to freeze at Simon's sharp tone

"No need. I gotta go, talk later" he pushed the drawer shut with a bit too much force that made your drowsy nature snap wide awake. 

"Wait....what?-si hang on!" Your mind was trying to catch up as he was already out the door. Scrambling out of bed to try to catch him but he was already gone. 

Heart sinking as you tried to call him, watching each text being left on sent. Pacing in your living room, scrambling for an idea of what set him off. Bottom lip bitten raw, just waited for something- Anything at this point. Thinking back to the entire day yet nothing seemed out of place. Your eyes burned as you pressed over his number one more time. Gripping your hoodie to ground you as the line went dead as soon as the second ring could even end.

Your heart stuttering in hope as it buzzed with a text, only to be stabbed and tossed into the trash as you read the text over and over 

"With Sophia. So Stop texting already will you." It was short. Cut and dry and straight to the point as you slumped on the couch and gripped your phone. Vision blurring and a whined sob ripped out of you like your bleeding heart. Dropping your phone as your chest tightened in disbelief and betrayal.

Covering your mouth with your sleeve to muffle the sob as your own anger finally snapped. Heading to your bedroom and yanking his shirts and jackets out of your closet, the hanger snapping from the force before you threw them into the living room. A few of the gifts he had gotten you weren't that far behind in meeting the same fate. The cute jewelry thrown just like his spare boots he kept at the front of the door. Yanking trash bags open to shove any of his products in from the bathroom. Your anger snuffing out as fast as it came when you went back to the mess in the living room, slumping on the floor as you looked around. Hiccuping and sniffling back tears as you shakily opened your phone, wishing, hell....praying that it wasn't real but there it was. A new message, sent of the so called Sophia taking a selfie with his phone at the bar. His hand gripping her side as he looked mid conversation with the bartender.

Whatever hope you had was rightfully tossed out the window with that image. Swallowing the knot in your throat and silently blocking his number before heading to bed and crying yourself to sleep.

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Well put. (Source: Writing About Writing Facebook page)

[slimesludge-space]

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