slimgrimace
slimgrimace
Big Grizzle
92K posts
I've been on this webbed site for 18 damn years and I am not joking. Was idonteat-idontsleep
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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the weirdly vengeful and petty tones aborted babies take in pro-life propaganda images are so funny like this passive aggressive "was it worth it mommy?" and "it's a shame you can't join me in heaven mommy 😔" like do you ever wonder if you were aborted for a reason you little bitch ass baby
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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in wigan, it's as good as gone
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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when everyone in the Game Changer tag is flipping out about Alex Horne but you’ve never seen Taskmaster
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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FORLORN WIGANER: ah... another lost soul, seeking the strength of gravy? I'm afraid you're too late, friend. Pea Wet is all that's left...
'Good as gravy'... a sick joke, it is... [CREEPY LAUGH]
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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What's pey wet?!………….In Wigan, it's as good as gravy. It's the water of the peasyou get a few peas in there as well, it's free. Just moists ya chips up. Or your smack.
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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saw this cute post and now I'm not going on reddit for the rest of the day. quit while you're ahead
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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i love this website i just feel at home here you know
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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thinking about the time my instacart shopper got Cask of Amontillado’ed
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slimgrimace · 2 days ago
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there's just something so funny to me about shitty harvests
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slimgrimace · 3 days ago
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Mutual in 2010: I like when girls smell nice
Same mutual in 2025: I need to be sexually tarred and feathered
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slimgrimace · 3 days ago
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*first time using gay slang* you look like you're wearing a wig!! and you look like a cunt!!!
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slimgrimace · 4 days ago
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I was gonna make a joke about how I say “I need to go the circus again” the way people used to say they need to go to the sea to balance their humors. But I realized the circus balances humors too
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slimgrimace · 4 days ago
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saw someone post this lmaooo
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slimgrimace · 4 days ago
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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.
American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.
Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.
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slimgrimace · 4 days ago
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enough.
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slimgrimace · 6 days ago
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slimgrimace · 7 days ago
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