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smallhappiness23 · 6 months

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[TL] Backdoor - an Original Scenario written by Akira

Backdoor is a short original story written by Akira-sensei to accompany the release of the Crossroad animated series. I recommend watching it before reading this, especially if you haven't read the original Crossroads.

Please enjoy my translation below!

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Backdoor

I break in from the backdoor. I feel like a super cool outlaw from one of those movies. Avoid the countless traps, blindly shoot the enemies like bang bang bang! Feast your eyes, idiots of the world!

I am the great Oogami Koga…!

"..."

By the back door is a guy with blond hair who’s sorting the trash out, probably works here part time. Since I came in and started acting like a weird middle schooler, he looks at me, surprised.

“Hey, you–” Part-time-kun (tentative name) puts his hand out with a totally bored expression. “One thousand yen. It’s the entrance fee.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry.”

“Next time come in from the proper entrance, ‘kay?” Part-time-kun (tentative name) doesn’t lecture me any further and exchanges my 1000 yen bill for a sleek plastic card. If I show this at the bar, I can get a drink and stuff. I thank him. “Enjoy your night～♪”

Part-time-kun (tentative name) is side-eyeing me, and at this point in time I’m so embarrassed all I want to do is go home but I pull myself together and head inside.

I’m in a cheap underground livehouse in the downtown area, near Yumenosaki Private Academy, the school I’m going to attend.

My sanctuary is here.

My god is here.

***

The livehouse I've been hanging around in lately is built a little weird. The entrance to the stairs is in a back alley. At the bottom of the stairs, there’s two corridors, one leading left, the other right. There’s a lot of soundproof doors, standing one after another. The majority of these small rooms are booths, meant to be hired out by amateur bands to practise in. If you look through the window of one, it’s normally empty since nobody really uses them.

Well, these days people don’t practise by actually picking up an instrument, playin’ until their fingers hurt. I’ve been doin’ that too lately, sittin’ at home ‘n staring blankly at my computer screen. I dunno.

At the end of the empty corridor, there’s the employees only room, the kitchen, and the back entrance which I found by accident when I was trespassing.

I’ve been short on cash lately because I’ve been buyin’ like, introductory books to playin’ the guitar ‘n stuff so I’ve been sneakin’ in that way ‘cos then I don’t hafta pay the entrance fee. No-one’s ever around anyway.

“I won’t be able to come in that way next time,” I complain as I walk down the corridor in low spirits, stopping when I find the soundproof room I’m looking for.

The biggest, most extravagant door is in the middle of the corridor. At the back, at the heart of this place— is the livehouse, or I guess you could call it a music hall.

“♪～♪～♪”

I open the weighted door and my entire body is blasted by music.

This is it. This electrifying feeling.

At the back of this relatively wide space is a really nice stage, and that’s where bands that have signed up to perform do so. The entrance fee also covers one drink, but you can order more food and drink and enjoy the show at the same time. It’s your average livehouse. I dunno though. I’m underaged, so I stick to a non-alcoholic tomato juice whilst enjoying the show.

Since this place is close to Yumenosaki, a lot of the customers are scruffy-looking students. I never thought young me would come to a place like this. I’m just in ordinary clothes. This place pays attention to its customer base, so there's not a drop of alcohol or a single cloud of cigarette smoke to be seen. Only super cool music is playing. It’s echoing.

“～...♪”

My God is in the middle of the stage, singing enthusiastically. The lyrics are in English, and I understand almost none of them. The lyrics are probably about wishing for world peace, or religious sacrilege; something complicated but meaningful. When I asked what he was singing about later, he said something like “I’m so happy because my cute little brother has recovered from his cold!”

Is he stupid? Or am I the stupid one for being so entranced by him?

But. I didn’t know that sort of thing back then, so I was genuinely moved by him.

Illuminated by the dim stage lighting, his pale corpse-like skin stood out in the shadows— him.

Crimson eyes like hellfire.

Black hair that melts into the darkness.

From between his seductive lips that are sexier than any girls’, comes a masculine, deep voice.

He looked simultaneously like an angel that could rescue the world and a devil that could destroy it too. Whether angel or devil, his singing voice was powerful enough to completely change the very fabric of this world.

“～...♪”

The name of the person I respect the most in this world is Sakuma Rei.

My God.

***

I was born and raised in an unremarkable environment.

We’re middle class. My dad’s an office worker and he earns a pretty decent wage, and my mum’s a housewife, which is rare nowadays.

They bought a nice detached house in a nice place. Both of my parents like kids and like taking care of others, so I grew up pretty pampered. I’m aware that since I was spoiled, I grew up to be a selfish, cocky brat. I was given whatever I wanted. I didn’t know what I really wanted though since it would be handed to me before I could even think about it. When I got to an age where I didn’t need to be looked after, my parents got a dog to satisfy their overflowing need to help others (?). His name’s Leon. He’s the best dog ever.

I fussed over him too, but not in the way my parents did. Everyday, they’d treat him like he was a baby, doting on him, probably the same way they treated me. It made me sulk a bit.

I could tell that my parents’ interest had shifted from me to Leon. Leon isn’t bad. He was bought to be loved. He’s a pedigree, he was born for this, to be doted on. He’s a really good boy and whenever I felt sad he’d snuggle up close to me and put his face next to mine. So I wouldn’t be lonely. So I knew I wasn’t alone.

But I felt that the amount of love I had received up until this point was steadily decreasing, and it made me anxious.

—Alas! Miserable, spoiled Oogami Koga-kun!

But I wasn’t shameless enough of a person to say “pay attention to me instead of the dog!” Leon deserved to be loved as much as I did— I wandered around town, searching for someone other than my parents who could love me.

I was starved, yearning. I looked like a stray dog scavenging around for something to fill me up. My parents aren’t bad. Neither is Leon. I’m probably not bad either.

I’ve already finished compulsory education. I had reached the age where I could fend for myself. So I should have. I’m sure other people are doing that. We leave the watchful eye of our parents, tackle teenagehood, and find out who we are. Find what we want to do with our lives. After countless trial and error, I found what I was looking for— Sakuma Rei. His music satisfied what my soul had been craving.

***

The performance ends, and Sakuma Rei disappears behind the stage.

I’ve never been on stage before, so I don’t know what it looks like back there. There’s probably a passageway that leads to a green room or something. The livehouse is weirdly dark and it’s hard to see much of anything, so it really looks like Sakuma Rei vanished like a ghost.

The person who fills the gap in my heart, vanishes.

So I grow anxious again and begin blindly searching for him everywhere. I make my way through the livehouse, pushing through the swathes of people who came here to see Sakuma Rei.

—Sakuma Rei, Sakuma Rei, Sakuma Rei.

My soul wants him.

Of course, I’m not part of his family. We’re not even acquaintances, let alone friends. He’s probably never even heard of me. But I didn’t mind either way. I found him, met him, fell in love with him, and had my yearning quenched. That alone made me thankful. Sakuma Rei, without a doubt, saved me. That’s all I wanted. I was just a sheep, one of hundreds who came here. To me, he was the night sky, something I thought I could never reach. I didn’t mind just watching from afar. That’s how I really feel. If I never got to see him closeup, I’d be fine with that.

And yet.

“What you’re drinking looks good.”

Suddenly, the tomato juice I’d ordered, which I didn’t end up liking because it was weirdly sweet, is taken from my hand by someone next to me.

—The hell, bastard? That’s mine. When I go to look up at whoever grabbed my drink with a belligerent expression, I realise it’s Sakuma Rei.

“If you’re not drinking it, I’ll have it. Singing’s got me workin' up a sweat.”

Naturally, my body stiffens.

That’s Sakuma Rei.

If I reach out my hand, I could touch him.

I’m so surprised by what I originally thought was something that could never happen, I have nothing clever to say and instead, like an idiot, I freeze with my mouth ajar.

“What’s up? Oh, you’re at that age where you think indirect kisses are embarrassing, right…?” Sakuma Rei says with a somewhat apologetic expression. Then he says something absurd.

“Oopsies, sorry～…Don’t worry, I take full responsibility for stealing your first time. Mhm.”

That was the first conversation we had, and it’s not exactly something I can brag about to anyone.

Ever since then, ever since that moment, I’ve been at the mercy of this arrogant person.

***

I step through the backdoor.

The unmotivated-looking blond employee is slacking off on his phone again today– he’s a playboy called Hakaze and is actually the manager of this place. He’s also supposedly one of my senpai from Yumenosaki. He glances up from his phone at me with a gross expression.

“Look look. I just got another girl's number. I’m typing out my first message now.”

“Shut up, I don’t know you. Don’t talk to me, playboy.”

About two years have passed since I had my first conversation with Sakuma Rei, Sakuma Rei-senpai, a conversation I’d rather not remember.

I’ve got a bit taller and a bit stronger.

I practised intensely so my guitar and singing skills have somewhat improved.

Whilst I was growing, Yumenosaki had gone to the dogs.

Yumenosaki Private Academy’s an idol school steeped in a rich history and tradition. But inside, it was rotting.

I wanted to be like Sakuma-senpai, so I followed him without thinking and took Yumenosaki’s entrance exam like an idiot. I was blinded. I didn’t know anything. Every Yumenosaki student is shit. Naturally, I noticed that since I frequented the livehouse in order to see Sakuma-senpai.

A rotted miniature garden where those with dead eyes spend their sad youth reeking of corpses. Sakuma-senpai was weirdly energetic despite the backdrop of death, so I got it wrong. No. I think I was just an immature, stupid brat, so I didn’t notice.

Sakuma-senpai had those same dead eyes.

In the mountain of dead bodies, he was clinging onto life. He was the only one who didn’t want to die, he was the only one praying for something to happen.

No-one could save him.

A bespectacled monk boy from a temple came along and evoked anger in him, trying to make him into a human— into something more than human. The stupid, lost dog just wagged his tail and followed the hand that fed him.

We didn’t realise that the person that was always grinning like a fool, and living what appeared to be a happy life, was actually suffering more than anyone. He desperately needed help. You can see why we didn’t notice; he looked like he was having fun.

When he stood on stage with me and Shitty Glasses as Deadmanz, he lived each day like it was his last. He looked genuinely happy—he looked like he was alive. But that was only a short-lived dream. Once he steps off stage, the spell breaks, and he turns back into a corpse.

A revolution takes place at the rotted Yumenosaki.

Sakuma-senpai was seen as a cause of evil and exterminated by those who claimed to be on the side of justice. The evil monsters had been defeated, and everyone lived happily ever after. It’s creepy when a corpse moves. Yeah, nothing will change if you don’t exterminate all the gross monsters, right?

—Fuck you, you bastards!

***

“Wan-chan, will you be singing today too?” The bored-looking playboy asks, on his phone as usual. Guess he doesn’t really want to talk to me. “You should stop because you’re dampening the mood. People think you're one of Sakuma-san’s henchmen, so people think you’re evil too and will persecute you like he was.”

“I don’t care. I… I’m.” I growl, the shallow first person pronoun Sakuma-senpai sometimes used slips from my mouth [1]. I cling onto what I’ve got left of him. “I just wanna sing with all my energy. I don’t care what the rest of you do.”

“But you’re creating problems for the livehouse. A customer pokes fun at you or Sakuma-san, you get angry, and you start a fight—I really don’t want things like that happening.”

“I won't create any problems, I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

“Will you really? But you’re like the rest of the customers— You always look like you’re going to start arguing with other Yumenosaki students. You come in from the back entrance like, everytime, to avoid any trouble, right?”

“I still pay the entrance fee.”

“Why do you go out of your way to perform here even though you’ve got to jump over so many dangerous obstacles to get here? It’s super bothersome.” Playboy's grumbling as usual. He pulls out a key and throws it to me. “Here. I’ll give you a key to a room so you can change clothes and get ready. If you swear to not cause any more trouble, you can become our new breadwinner, Wan-chan. I actually want to cheer you on,” the playboy said and laughed insincerely.

I hate his demeanour, so I snap back.

“Don’t call me ‘Wan-chan’.”

“Sakuma-san calls you ‘Wanko’. I call you ‘Wan’ as in, ‘number one’. Honest, honest to god.” [2] Playboy’s face goes serious for a split second and he waved his hands around like he was trying to hide his embarrassment. “You can be my number one breadwinner, like Sakuma-san.”

“Don’t hafta tell me twice.”

Just like Sakuma-senpai, I’ll become the best guy in the world. My voice alone will excite the crowd. A flirtatious glance will have women swooning. With a single look, even the strongest of men will bow down to me. In an instant, their souls are gripped, I captivate everyone. I’ll become like Sakuma Rei too. But the journey is a long one. “Let’s go. I’m singin’ tonight.”

I reach my booth, key in hand, and change into my costume. I take out my guitar, who’s as important to me as my parents and Leon are. Once I’m ready, I head to the stage. To tackle this head on.

“Shake, you fools! Imma show you what real music is!”

I sing. My guitar does too.

Just like Sakuma-senpai did.

Right now I’m blindly copying him, but I pray that one day, I’ll be able to be just like him.

I hope this song reaches him, wherever he is.

***

Once, I was starving, yearning. But when I found Sakuma Rei and his music, my soul was satisfied.

—Now it’s my turn.

“Rock ‘n’ roll…!”

Come on, idiots of the world. I’ll open your eyes with my music. I’ll become your God.

~~~~

Translation notes:

[1] in the line above this one Koga says ‘俺...俺様は’ or ‘ore…ore sama wa’. Oresama being the first person pronoun rei sometimes used, and its very egotistical.

[2] number one is pronounced as, in this case, ‘nanbaa wan’

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smallhappiness23 · 6 months

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[TL] Flashback/UNDEAD Climax Directory

(Visuals set to change)

Character(s): Rei Sakuma, Koga Oogami, Kaoru Hakaze, Adonis Otogari, Keito Hasumi, Tomoya Mashiro, 'Hajime Shino'

Description: Rei and the rest of UNDEAD are set to relive their past in a "certain experiment". Though, the events that lead to the formation of their unit seem to be different from what they can remember...

Read below!

BIOHAZARD/Prologue

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 1

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 2

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 3

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 4

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 5

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 6

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 7

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 8

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 9

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 10

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 11

BIOHAZARD/Chapter 12

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 1

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 2

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 3

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 4

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 5

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 6

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 7

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 8

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 9

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 10

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 11

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 12

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 13

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 14

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 15

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 16

PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 17

Epilogue 1

Epilogue 2

Completed :)

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smallhappiness23 · 9 months

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So I was looking through Rei's appellations and:

This is so fucking sad???

SHU CALLED HIM HIS FRIEND. HE'S STILL ONE OF NATSUME'S BELOVED NII-SAN'S. THEY LOVED HIM SO MUCH, THEY STILL LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY.

Even when Kanata would've drowned himself if not for Chiaki grabbing him, even when Shu was being barely kept alive by a desperate Mika, even when Wataru smiled and tried to reassure them as he calmly walked to his execution, even when Natsume could only cry from the shadows - none of them ever resented him for it.

But Rei resents himself, because he couldn't save them, or Ritsu, or Koga, or anyone he cared about.

And that is why he can't let them be that close - it'll only hurt them more when he lets them down again.

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smallhappiness23 · 10 months

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gosh I talk about rei ! era fashion a lot but I will never shut up about this

He looks like a middle aged dad taking his kids to the beach. The middle aged dad who tells his kids that they gotta check in the hotel first before they can run to the pool and is trying to get a child discount with his son who is actually 15. He is making sure the car is ready to start before his kids get buckled in. All of these are compliments. This is one of Rei’s best casual outfits to me and he is absolutely committed to the grandpa look here

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smallhappiness23 · 11 months

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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Small Request

- - -

Hello! We’re not here to ask for follows or anything of that sort, but it would be much appreciated if you all could share this blog’s polls around! We’re trying to gather as many votes as possible in order to have a bigger sample population: we want to reach as many Enstars fans as we can. We’re still in the preliminary stage, but more polls will be coming next week. If you could share our polls around so that they reach more blogs, it would be much appreciated!

Thank you all for your support and interactions, we’re very excited for this bracket. Looking forward to finding out the Tumblr fan favorite Enstars solo with you all!

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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2wink Week 2023 Day 1 - Nostalgic

A Quarter Past 2am [AO3 or keep reading below]

2wink | one-shot | 1.4k words

Though the size of his palm has changed, the portion of chocolate chips has stayed the same. As if what Hinata had used as a child, with palms barely big enough to grab any sort of meaningful handful, was Yuuta’s preferred amount of chocolate. Or maybe it was what nostalgia tasted like. Or: Hinata makes Yuuta hot chocolate when he can't sleep.

a/n: yayy first 2wink week post!! this is an old fic i posted a few months ago but since the day 1 theme was nostalgia i feel morally obligated to post this here. i hope you enjoy!

@2winkweek

It’s 2am.

Hinata doesn’t fall neatly into being a night owl or early bird by any means, but this is definitely too late for him to be up. It’d be one thing if he had just woken up from sleep and decided to get a glass of water before going back to bed, and that’s what he’ll tell anyone that walks into the kitchen and sees him. If there are even other people awake right now.

No, there definitely are. There are plenty of weirdos living at Ensemble Square.

Also, he like, totally did not snoop on his phone to see that Yuuta is active on social media right now. That would totally be violating Yuuta’s privacy. But it wasn’t like he was hiding it. Okay, well, he wasn’t posting anything, but it says his status is active! So, if he really didn’t want people to know then he’d turn that setting off.

It doesn’t really matter.

Hinata already has a saucepan warming up on the stove. Milk and cocoa powder set to the side, waiting on standby to be added in.

Yuuta’s lack of sweet tooth normally deters Hinata from making something like this, and he knows countless spicy alternative recipes for other meals. He’s even gone out searching for spicy hot chocolate recipes and begging Niki to teach him how to make them properly because while he’s mastered the art of adjusting sweetness, mixing and matching spice isn’t as intuitive to him.

And even with the special training, his spice palette is unsatisfactory, but it’s probably better this way. Yuuta would hate it if Hinata was invading on one of his key personality traits. Even if, no, especially, if it were for Yuuta’s sake.

Hinata hovers his hand over the pan, heat seeping through his fingers, and decides it’s warm enough now. He pours the milk in first, the white 2% of it all covering the bottom of the steel pan, with the cocoa mix following right after. He whisks them together with a practiced hand, muscle memory that knows a repetitive whisking motion, yes, but also this particular movement for this hot chocolate.

Everything about this is ingrained into him, from his fingertips that spread the mix, his arms that whisk the pan, and his feet that had taken him out here to the kitchen in the first place. It might as well be a piece of his soul.

It’s pointless to wonder how much of his soul is dedicated to Yuuta. Sure, he tries nowadays to be himself, Hinata Aoi, through and through. Whoever that is.

The more thought-provoking exercise is to scour through the pieces like a web and decide which ones don’t end up linking back to Yuuta in some way.

Most of his hobbies started from a need to improve himself, not for his own personal self-satisfaction, but for Yuuta’s sake. Gardening is probably the most non-performance based hobby of his, but even that started as a way to save on groceries at home and grow the peppers his brother likes so much.

A drop of milk splashes out and onto Hinata’s arm as he whisks, drawing his eyes back into focus on the warm brown color in the saucepan now. He sets the whisk down, feeling the beginning of a cramp in his hand but ignores it to reach across the counter to grab the sugar. He doesn’t need to use a lot, but Yuuta usually likes something a little sweet when he can’t sleep.

It takes only a few seconds for the sugar to dissolve and then Hinata is grabbing a small handful of chocolate chips to scatter in the pan. He starts whisking again and tries not to dwell too much on the memory of a much younger him, one before all the growth spurts and sibling bickering, one that had his little brother fully rely on him. Though the size of his palm has changed, the portion of chocolate chips has stayed the same. As if what Hinata had used as a child, with palms barely big enough to grab any sort of meaningful handful, was Yuuta’s preferred amount of chocolate. Or maybe it was what nostalgia tasted like.

Some things grow and change, like how he isn’t much of a child anymore, but other things remain the same, routines built into the soul like a code for design.

It’s a quarter past 2, and while the oncoming footsteps are soft, trained to be light on the floor at night, they’re wearing slippers and not socks. This is a public building after all, and the twins aren’t living at home anymore.

Yuuta rounds the corner into the kitchen, and Hinata spies the stray hairs sticking up from the back of his head from tossing and turning in bed. The hunch of his shoulders could be mistaken for stress, and to others may be the most likely culprit, but Hinata knows it’s just that Yuuta’s cold. It takes a lot for him to finally drag himself up and out of bed, away from the warmth and comfort of his blankets.

It means he’s given up on sleep and decided to make the chilly trek without a blanket to the kitchen. And like any regular person, get a nice glass of water and then try once again to get some shut eye.

Being “overbearing” is a trait Hinata has yet to fully kick, and who says he should be rid of it completely anyways? He should always be able to spoil his brother.

Knowing Yuuta’s ‘I can’t fall asleep even after looking at my phone for several hours and switching which side I lay on just so that my phone can keep charging because it almost died’ ritual is hardly a facet of being overbearing. They did share a room for years.

Hinata’s mouth twitches like he wants to greet Yuuta, but maybe his brother’s eyes do look a bit more tired than usual (or maybe it’s just eye strain. These kids on their dang phones..!). He keeps quiet instead, and lets Yuuta be the one to initiate any talking.

Yuuta pauses when his eyes meet Hinata, and he can see how Yuuta’s mouth is already forming words of interrogation for Hinata. It takes a moment for him to settle on his words, and they’re less questioning than Hinata would’ve thought.

“... You don’t drink hot chocolate this late,” Yuuta says, walking to join Hinata at the counter.

Hinata doesn’t respond, instead looking at the warm, light brown color of the hot chocolate in the pan. The perfect color. He turns the heat off for the stove with a click of the knob, and when he turns to grab a mug, Yuuta’s already beaten him to it.

Hinata accepts the two white mugs with the Cosmic Productions logo printed on the sides that Yuuta hands him. He doesn’t bother saying anything right now; If Yuuta wants to press Hinata on why he was up so late then he can do that, but Hinata isn’t going to open that can of worms if he doesn’t have to.

He pours the hot chocolate into both their mugs, steam rising as the liquid fills the mugs. They’ll probably get stained brown, but that’s on CosPro for deciding to get plain old white instead of a nice sleek black or something. Maybe they should’ve done a chrome color.

In the little momentary crease of Yuuta’s eyebrows as he picks up the mug, there’s the lingering need to question how Hinata knew he was awake. Hinata can imagine the thoughts flitting through his brain as Yuuta tries to make sense of it. Was it a camera in his room? A parenting app installed in secret? Twin intuition? At least there’s no need to question whatever comes after Hinata knew that his brother was awake, since this is a routine as old as they’ve been able to reach the stove by standing on a wobbly stool.

Making hot chocolate for Yuuta to help him fall asleep. Hinata doesn’t plan on ever giving up that level of care for him, because if it’s impossible to beat up nightmares and bad dreams, then this is all he can do to settle him at night.

Yuuta takes the first sip, his face relaxing as he holds the warm cup with both his hands. It’s a short sip, since it is much too hot to properly drink right now, but his lips turn up into a small smile regardless.

“Thank you, Hinata-kun.”

There’s no need to question Hinata tonight, not over this familiar hot chocolate that's comforted Yuuta countless nights before.

“No problem, Yuuta-kun~”

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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Animal AU or Pet AU or I dont know Rei bat and his two cat brothers. Their brotherly relationship is fine dont worry.

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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hi enstarries i am so sorry for this

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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From this but. Yeah if HappyEle won’t do it I’ll just do it myself—

Bonus:

Edit: Part Niki ! Part Rinne !!

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smallhappiness23 · 1 year

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Kohaku analysis

Hi anon, sorry for taking more than 5 months to reply. Kohaku just has so many things going on that I really didn't have a firm understanding of his character and don't know where to start. Still don't actually, but I'll give it my best shot.

Kohaku's main appeal imo is his numerous gaps. There’s a ridiculous amount of them, but the main ones are that he's pink, he's 160cm, he's the youngest character at 15, and yet he has no qualms about killing a man.

He could kill a man and yet was locked in his house until just this year. He could kill a man and yet he's terrified of zombies and wouldn't be able to kill them.

He talks like he has his things together (and he sort of really does), and yet he is still the youngest in the cast and so many people around him nurture him and watch his growth with warm and loving eyes.

Everyone who lays their eyes on him immediately treats him like their cute little bro, and yet he seems to be the more emotionally stable and mature one in Double Face - where his partner is literally the self-proclaimed Mama in the series.

I think the most confusing part about Kohaku is his maturity and simulataneous lack thereof. How he manages to be emotionally mature in DF, and yet is still the baby in Crazy:B. So for this post I'm going to delve into how and why Kohaku manages to do this.

---

(Please bear in mind that I haven't read the !! main stories and the stories for No Name Yet and Ariadne, so i might be missing important characterisation.

Also be warned that I will be referencing events in Dark Night's Passing, Secret Service and Sudden Death. Spoiler warning!)

I feel like most people get really blown away by the shock factor of Kohaku being trained as an assassin. And together with the way Kohaku carries himself, a lot of fans forget that there is a lot he doesn't know about the world.

He grew up in isolation and could only physically step foot into the rest of civilisation at the end of the ! era. And then he promptly got lost. (He asks Anzu for directions to ES in his first character story.) He doesn't know how to choose his own modern clothes either. The clothes we see him wearing were picked out by the salesperson, and for his Feature Outfit he chose traditional wear similar to what he wore growing up.

Kohaku is honestly very similar to Hiiro in this respect. I think it's just not as obvious to non-KohakuPs because:

Kohaku has less questions. This can be explained by how he grew up on the internet, so he had the advantage of familiarity with technology.

Screentime differences:

Hiiro’s ignorance was emphasised throughout the novel that was !! Main Story 1

Kohaku had one (1) introductory chapter that highlighted his ignorance. The rest was sprinkled in mini-talks and event stories.

Differences in other characters' responses to their questions:

Hiiro gets Aira loudly yelling, without fail, that he's stupid and ignorant. And then Hiiro yells his apologies in response. The whole exchange is very noisy and impossible to ignore. (It also happens multiple times.)

Kohaku’s interactions, however, tend to go very smoothly. They’re always along the line of, "Oh, what is this? Ohh so that's it. Thanks for teaching me!". Clean and simple, no jabs and just question > answer > thanks. Or he'll say, "I've only known about this through the internet! I'm looking forward to experiencing this myself this year." And no one comments on it, except for maybe a “Fufu I hope you have a good experience.” It’s all very short and pleasant. Nothing you would take note of unless you’re a KohakuP and realised you’ve seen them lots of times

So anyway, in contrast to Kohaku’s general cool and judgemental "Madara/Rinne-han you’re so stupid” vibe, he really is not that wise in the ways of the world. To be frank, I think his cool-as-a-cucumber behaviour is very boyish of him. You know, when you're a teen and pretend to be more grown-up than you actually are.

And Kohaku is acutely aware of how little he knows. Kohaku has low confidence in making his way through the world, even though he generally acts very capable. This low confidence is the focus of the Honey Bee scout story. It's a very, very cute story where Crazy:B finds ways to push him out of his comfort zone while still respecting his 15 year-old pride. Basically Kohaku was going to shy away from something and Rinne goes "Ha bet you can't do this!" Kohaku reacts very much like a kid by immediately biting the bait. So cute! Another point for the KohakuPs who love the cute and child-like Kohaku. I wouldn’t call Kohaku immature, but he sure isn’t a mature adult either. He has a lot of growing left to do!

Kohaku just generally exudes this little brother energy as easily as breathing.

I think part of it is his size and pink hair colour and baby fat.

Another is probably how open he is about how little he knows. Like Hiiro, he’s not shy about asking for clarification. If you hang around him for long enough, you probably come to expect and accommodate the gaps in his experience.

He’s also super forthcoming and genuine with his praise, admiration and gratitude. The instant he thinks of something nice, like "wow this person sure is skilled!" he'll just let the person in question know. (Unless you're Rinne - you tease him too much for him to want to praise you genuinely to the face orz.) I think people just like being around him and being nice to him because of this habit, and they become nicer and better people in his presence. ((I am looking at HiMERU in particular.))

And despite what I said about his teenage pride, Kohaku's also very gracious and accepting of being consistently assigned the little bro. His attitude to realising that people adopted him is just "huh? well okay I guess. Thank you for your help." He doesn't see it as being patronising; he recognises that people just want to be nice to him and lets them + is grateful for it. (Again, Rinne is an exception because his modus operandi is to bully Kohaku and Kohaku Knows This.)

I think these factors form the basis of his relationships with everyone (minus Madara and his family) where he’s the little baby Kohaku-chan that everyone loves to dote on. And he lets them, and also lets them know that he is grateful for their care! It's super wholesome and cute. Ra*bits-esque, even.

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But despite all these child-like parts of him (especially him not knowing a lot of common knowledge), he also has a lot of. I don’t know what to call it, I guess emotional maturity in his interactions with others. He's always very genuine and sincere and respectful, and this doesn't ever change unless you're deliberately fucking with him (Rinne).

It's most obvious when you look at Double Face and his interactions with Cagiest Bastard in the Whole Series, Mikejima Madara.

This part requires a good deal of understanding about Mama's issues and Oh Boy Is It A Lot! But what you need to know is that Madara's family is involved with the police and the Shinkai Cult and Madara was been elbows deep in that world from birth. He beats people up off screen and sends the mafia after them and doesn't blink. And his emotional walls reach stratospheric heights. He calls himself Mama and is extremely friendly, but he never really lets anyone close. Headcanon that it's bc he wants to be as close to others as a Mama, but is purposely assigning himself a role that most ppl reject bc he is afraid of actually being that close to people. He's been in a solo unit for the whole of the ! era and was acting alone even before then. Talking about his issues and true feelings are simply not something he does. He buries it under layers of Wasshoi Wasshoi Festival Man Mama. Sometimes he alludes to how estranged he feels but before anyone can meaningfully respond, he jets off to another part of Japan/the world and is uncontactable for a few months.

There's no time to really go into what Madara's issues actually are, but basically Anzu (and the enstars writer Akira) created DF because she wanted Madara to have a friend. Kohaku as an assassin and Madara as the kid of a mafialord just Get Each Other the way others don't. Just look at Dark Night's Passing. It's about feeling too dirty with sin to truly assimilate with the bright sparkling world of Ryuseitai/Tsukasa. It's about not being able to talk about their feelings about their involvement with the underworld because they don't want to sully their friends. Madara sort of talks about it with Kuro, but Kuro is an ex-delinquent and beating other misguised youths up is nothing compared to what Madara is still involved in. Kohaku is probably more comfortable with Crazy:B than any other unit because of their themes of being rejects and rulebreakers, but that's still not the same as assassination. I don't think Kohaku ever came clean to them about his family. Kohaku & Madara just truly do understand each other in a way no one else can.

And despite all that, Madara still tries to distance himself from Kohaku. 😡👎👎. Kohaku has to chase this mf ""unit leader"" down to get updates of their shared unit's work. Kohaku has to call Madara and gets sent to voicemail every time. He has to call up everyone he can think of who could be in contact with Madara and then fly his ass across Japan to beat up Madara up. (He doesn't actually beat Madara up because he's a good kid. He just joins Madara in whatever he was working on and helps him and reminds him that he is no longer alone.)

Anyone in Kohaku's place would be completely justified in thinking that Madara's more effort than he's worth and give up or lash out at him. Just the way Madara likes it! With people so far away from him that he can't hurt them or vice versa (Madara ignores the fact that the act of pushing others away is in itself hurtful.)

But Kohaku doesn't abandon Madara. He takes things pretty damn well imo.

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Kohaku re: dirty jobs & the Underworld is just so. He's so hopeful even while being born in and knowing the shit side of the world. It breaks my heart and fills me with awe with how disillusioned and yet hopeful he is with the world.

Kohaku in the early stories constantly talks about how the world & people's hearts are dirty. And yet, whenever he receives help (...often, bc of his politeness and little bro energy) he also always comments that kindness still exists in this world. Kohaku, especially in Dark Night's Passing, is a very jaded child. He thinks that his family's line of work is pretty dirty and hates being born into it, but still says he is okay with sacrificing himself for the Suou's. He thinks the world is rotten, that injustice will always exist, and that sacrificing himself is okay, but does whatever he can to ensure that the good people in his life don't suffer.

Kohaku doesn't roll over and give up. He finally has freedom after 15 years and he is so excited to experience all the good things the world has to offer. He knows it comes with bad things too, and accepts it like a champ! Takes it as a foregone conclusion.

It contrasts so sharply with Madara that I just gnnh. Madara is tired. He has given up. He's just floating along trying to help his loved ones while fighting a war in his head and heart against the instinct to also push them far away.

Madara and Kohaku initially connected over their shared understanding of the rotten world and their roles in it, but their attitudes towards living in such a world and with such a role couldn't be more different. Madara believes that he never belongs in the sparkling world everyone else inhabits, and he tries not to "sully" it by never entering it. Kohaku accepts the world, both its rotten and good parts, with an almost zen-like countenance that you really wouldn't expect from a 15 year-old freshly entering the world. Kohaku is excited and accepting and open-minded of all the world has to offer (as long as he doesn't look stupid, because he is 15 and freshly interacting with people irl, he cares about appearances.) Kohaku uses his assassin role to protect himself and those he cares about; it's not something that he even conceives as holding him back.

This really uniquely positions him to set Madara back on the path to heal, because he shares a similar background and yet offers perspective that Madara would not have accepted from any other person. Yes this turned into a DF dynamic analysis but Kohaku was literally created to be a Madara foil, so. That probably just means I'm doing my Kohaku analysis right.

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Explaining Kohaku's emotional maturity

From a meta perspective, Kohaku's emotional maturity can be attributed to the fact that he was explictly written to be Madara's friend and confidant. He had to be a character that could make Madara feel comfortable enough to let his walls down. He also had to be a character that didn't have the same trauma response and who could handle Madara's.

Lorewise, I think Kohaku's emotional maturity when it comes to relationships (being so open, honest and respectful) can also be explained by his upbringing.

The fact that Kohaku is so open and honest and respectful can be a bit surprising, considering how he was, y'know, locked up for 15 years and all. You expect him to have some very tragic backstory, where he was abused and went through grueling and traumatic assasin training like Killua from Hunter x Hunter or something. You expect him to be cagey and defensive, like Madara or worse. Then you read Sudden Death and it becomes apparent that the chances of Kohaku having been abused are abysmally low. Kohaku is very, very loved by his family. There are still things that don't add up, like Kohaku still having been locked up in a dimly-lit room for 15 years and speaking of his growing up years so negatively. But I'm inclined to think that against all odds, his family treated him very respectfully as a little man and he was raised well. Maybe his distaste for his upbringing was because his family never really tried to justify it or gaslight him into thinking that it was normal and okay. The Oukawas are pretty cool!

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TLDR for this whole post; Kohaku is very accepting, genuine and forthcoming. He can put even the most guarded people around him at ease and inspires them to be better people just by being himself around them. He was written perfectly to bounce off Madara (and Rinne).

He is also very small and cute. People can't help but dote on him. He is also so excited to finally participate in the world, but feels the tiniest bit of trepidation. He is growing bit by bit every day! Basically he would belong at Ra*bits is what I'm saying. If you ignore the whole assassin thing.

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