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you know what’s weird? having that one person that you both knew there was something going on between you two, but neither of you ever said anything really. it was just too complicated. so you kinda coexisted in a weird lowkey flirty way and maybe you could’ve even loved them??? maybe you actually did??? but then since nothing ever actually physically happened or was verbally expressed, you never got closure and it’s just like woah you meant so much to me in the oddest way and idk how to feel about that

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sometimes i forget i set my pronouns as she/they in any server i’m in… i feel bad because i kinda just use it as a way to be as exploratory as i can with gender not because i genuinely believe my prns are she/they. like idk where life’s taking me they could be my prns someday but right now i feel like it’s just me dipping my toe in the water because i don’t know how to swim

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as much as i don’t know who i am in real life, my ideal self is fucking SET (it’s literally just link)

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some of my posts on this account sound so fucking edgy i promises i’m not like that this is just my only place to vent these issues lmao

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honestly… i think i do already know i’m not cis. and i’ve known that for a long time i was just in denial. hell i’ll probably be in denial again tomorrow when i wake up. but what cis person wears a sports bra for weeks at a time as a high school freshman because they couldn’t stand to look at their own fucking chest…….

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if anyone actually paid attention they would notice i never refer to myself as a woman or use she/her pronouns when talking about myself in any capacity

that is deliberate on my part obviously… but i legitimately never use ‘’feminine’’ words when describing myself and i don’t know how no one has caught that yet

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every time i leave my room i feel like i am putting on a mask that says “woman”. it feels like a charade or a performance. it’s fake.

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i bounce from “maybe i’m a lesbian” to “maybe i’m a gay man” to “what if i’m somewhere in the ace category” like every fuckin hour so i just slap on a bisexual sticker and call it a day👍 i don’t even want to try to think about gender stuff anymore because there’s literally no way i could publicly transition without breaking down several integral parts of my life in the process. and it’s not like i hate being feminine so it’s fine. but what sucks is that i think for me a lot of my sexuality relates to my gender, but i literally cannot publicly reveal any actual information on my feelings about my gender without messing shit up in my life. like my family, spare a couple people, would completely separate me from their lives. That, or they would refuse to acknowledge anything that i tell them

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my sorority has nonbinary members which makes it not as bad, but the problem is i think i’m probably ftm and i don’t think that’s allowed. idk though maybe i’m nonbinary, guess we’ll see

joined a sorority, hoping to cure my gender dysphoria🤞 i’ll keep all zero of u updated

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bought a binder for a cosplay, currently struggling to make myself take it off

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joined a sorority, hoping to cure my gender dysphoria🤞 i’ll keep all zero of u updated

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this blog used to be my kpop ladies blog but now i think i will just post things about my various problems and issues that i can’t talk to anyone about

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sometimes i feel like my feelings about my gender change constantly… like ill be so sure that i figured it out once and for all, but then i find some new piece of media that influences my life or a new person that i like and suddenly all security i had is out the window

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when u don’t know if it’s internalized misogyny or internalized transphobia😍😍✨🤩

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© heartlipped | Do not edit.

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© rabbit’s house | Do not edit.

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Yeojin in #489 🧡