smellycherrysoup - Tumblr blog

[smellycherrysoup]

ur not even doing anything and the thought of u makes me all giddy

[smellycherrysoup]

good morning texts just feels different from you

[smellycherrysoup]

why can't humans be like animals, kill ourselves when the love of our life dies

– me two weeks ago or so

[smellycherrysoup]

she makes me a poet. it's so wonderful to say. to be in love, fused with the stars. the future can't be set in stone, but for the time being, i'm happy.

[smellycherrysoup]

with her, i could easily drop everything else. but i won't. for me, for her.

[smellycherrysoup]

i'm sad. i can't tell anyone about it. i miss my dog. i miss him. but he wont be there even if he is

i'm hearing my brother eat and it is awful. i wish i could eat too. but i shouldn't. i wanna sleep. i wanna starve myself. i wanna kill myself. sometimes.

everytime something happens i want to sleep it all off. with each chew i'm hearing, the more i want to die.

i hate this

i hate you

i hate you so much

i was going to love me again

but all you do

is just

i hate you. i love you. i want to love you. i wanna love you so bad. why do i have to think of other people i loved to make me feel better ?

to escape from you

i wish i didn't have to think of her everytime you do something that makes me sad. i dont want you to make me sad. i dont want to tell you you make me sad. i dont want to do it to you again like how i did it to her

why. why do you love me

theres so many times in my mind where i've told u to kill yourself. i bet you never knew that. i dont want you to know that. i want you to be happy. i care for you. so why do you only say sweet dreams to yourself ? i wish i could drill a hole in my head. i wish i could block all of this out with my favorite memories of us

why aren't we like the others ? why are we squeezing leftover paint ? why does everyone think you're so bad ? are you bad ?

you're so nice to me. i wish you were nicer to me. maybe you're only nice in contrast. how can i tell ?

i wish you look at me when i'm not looking at you. i wish i could cry in your arms just a little bit longer than the last. i wish you could stay with me. i wish you'd wipe my tears gently again. i wish i didn't need to have tears to experience that

i wish i didn't need to cry once every two weeks. i wish we could just be happy

it's not that bad. others have it worse. i feel so sad though.

i feel so sad.

when can we do what others do ? spend time together just the two of us. when can you survive with just me around ?

i miss you. when you tell me that, sometimes i lie and say i miss you too. do you do it too ? but sometimes i do miss you. i miss you so much

i don't miss you because i try not to. because nothing good comes of it. just an occasional i miss you too, then we're on our own again.

i wish we do more, there were times when you did more, when i did more, but its never enough.

i wish it was enough. i truly truly truly wished it was enough. i wish this was all enough. i wouldn't need to be so sad. you and i will both be happy

[smellycherrysoup]

being told that u can never be their first choice is awful. so awful. and i don't know if that's normal in a relationship

[smellycherrysoup]

i wish i was able to let her be loved by other people too, maybe if that was the case i can still feel her love right now

[smellycherrysoup]

you're different now

you're always as sweet as honey

you know i can always recognize you

the universe did want me to talk to you, but i left

now i'm wondering what could've been if i listened

oddly i can never grow tired of drawing your hair

it used to be long but now it's shorter

i know you're different now, but some things just still reminds me of you

and for now maybe i'd keep them close to you until i can move forward

its funny because im moving backwards

every move forward with this is a step backwards