smileyla

[smileyla]

Tap the link to join my group "SCR€€NING ROOM Kinnkydeviants" on Kik! kik.me/g/fkdF8jnV5zGZphu3mevTUQCOfB4

[smileyla]

The thought of pure control over my body and my mind has me changing my ways. I want a strong Dom to use me but adore me the same. Push my kinks and love aftercare. Is he out there?

[smileyla]

Realization of bad habits is a slap in the face sometimes. Trying to make serious changes in my life but not knowing what plans I have for the future. Hitting a wall of what imprint am I leaving on this world. I had so many ideas, so many plans, all shattered. Now it is time to find what is I am looking for, just need to know where to start.

[smileyla]

Beautiful night in the country!

[smileyla]

17 years ago today I married what I thought was my best friend, the love of my life! I put this man on a pedestal Even though friends told me terrible things he said to them. Family told me terrible things he did to them. I put this man on a pedestal. Even though I caught him in lie after lies. Lies about his work, lies about what he could do and accomplish, and a temper I saw him take out on his son, our little puppy Ginger, our beautiful daughter. As young as 5 he dropped her from a standing position. But I continued to put this man on a pedestal. I spoke highly about him to friends and family and watched their eyes roll. I supported him through all his job loses and always agreed it must be the other people’s fault. I watched family and friends continue to stay away because he made them feel uncomfortable. I listened as a babysitter that was only 16 say she felt uncomfortable coming back because he contacted her by text with inappropriate communication. I watched my daughter struggle with his terrible comments he said to her. I watched my daughter not want him around her friends because they all said “ your Dad creeps me out”. I still placed this man on a pedestal. Defended his odd behavior. Gave him the space he wanted. And in the end, it took his violence of words and actions to shake me alive again. His gross neglect for his family. His gross habits of not showering or brushing his teeth. The old Man sitting across from me at my divorce. He looked so bad I could not believe I ever spent 16 years with this man. So 17 years later, I won! I won my beautiful daughter who does not have to worry about being yelled at or hit. She does not hesitate to have all her friends here. I won the fact that I am damn sexy and men love me. I won peace. I won final ability to not defend the actions of a terrible man that I had on a pedestal for so long. Happy 1 st year of freedom anniversary to me.

#survivor #praying(Kesha) #aliveagain #wokeup