smoshblr-aita

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UPDATE

I’m the one from AITA post about not being able to leave my ex.

After hanging out with our mutual with S friend, I found out that S was already involved with a dude when I came back home. She was trying to date & have sex with him for the whole time we were apart, but still insisted on meeting me and got very mad at me when I didn’t want to have sex with her. Also she has been chatting/flirting/being affectionate? with different guys for at least half a year when we still were together. Of course she never intended to tell me anything.

She texted me multiple times asking to hang out (obviously when her friends couldn’t make it) and when i declined her invitations she got really upset and told me I’m treating her like shit because I don’t want to ride a busy bus for an hour when the weather is 104°F just to meet her.

Today I’ve cut her out of my life even if I still feel bad for doing so.

[smoshblr-aita]

TIFU by forgetting my best friends birthday

I really need some advice on how to fix this. So my bff’s(16f) birthday was yesterday and I thought it was the 21st. Around the end of the day she sent a text to the group chat with me and another friend, here’s how it went. 🎉 for my friend, and 🫐 for my other friend

🎉: thanks for the happy birthday guys 😝

Me: I THOUGHT IT WAS ON THE 21ST

🎉 I’ve told you guys repeatedly it’s on the 18th

Me: Do you want to play Roblox for birthday celebration

Me: I’ll sing happy birthday to you

🎉 That was actually really sucky of you guys, I remembered all of your birthdays and it’s really upsetting that you couldn’t remember mine

Me: I’m genuinely so sorry, I had it as 21st on my google calendar, I don’t know what happened

🫐 Happy Birthday 🎉, I’m also so so sorry that I didn’t remember either

🎉 Sorry doesn't mean anything when I was looking at my phone the whole day hoping to see 2 little words that show you guys care enough about me to remember my literal birthday and just end up getting nothing but lousy apologies for not remembering it. Your birthday is supposed to be the day you get to feel special and cared for and it hurts not getting to feel that from people you yourself care about

Me: I thought it was the 21st because that’s when we were supposed meet up,. I was a big mistake and yes it was my fault. I want to know how to fix this cause I do actually care about you and our friendship

🫐 I genuinely have no excuse at all. I know that this was very important to you and I completely screwed it up

I also privately messaged her to apologize and to sent her I gift I had for her and she basically said that a gift doesn’t matter to her because she cares more about the thought and it shows that I actually don’t care about her.

How can I fix this? She’s one of my best friends and I don’t want her to be mad at me

any advice, smoshblr?

[smoshblr-aita]

this is more so r/Relationship_Advice

so i (25F) have this friend (31NB), let's call them G. i met them a few years ago when i got a new job. we hit it off right away and we started working every single shift together. i learned that they lived right beside me, so we started seeing each other pretty often outside of work, too. i developed a small crush on them, but it fizzled out pretty fast because i was in a relationship and so were they. we've since found new jobs and don't get to see each other as often, but still talk occasionally

a while ago, when they were just out of a relationship, i joked about having a crush on them when we first met and how it's funny that we're really good friends now. i didn't think much of it but they responded by saying they also had a crush on me when we met. this shocked me, because what?? i mean, looking back on it, neither of us were happy in our relationships, but at the time everything felt normal

i drove them somewhere as a favour one day and during the car ride they brought up the idea of us dating. i quickly (but respectfully) turned the idea down because i wasn't interested in ruining our friendship. they understood my point of view and didn't bring it up again

yesterday, G brought it up subtly again - BUT they're happily in a relationship right now. they said something along the lines of "i never got over you, do you think we should give it a shot" and i kind of chuckled and changed the subject because it made me uncomfortable. before i went home that day they said that we should have a longer talk about it

first of all (and most importantly) i am VERY happily single and want to stay that way. i have literally no clue how to let them down AND address the fact that they are in a relationship right now and should not be trying to pursue anything with me. i'm worried that rejecting them might put a wedge between us. any advice would be helpful, but if not i still appreciate y'all reading this far

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Confession:

TLDR: I went on an outing with a friend recently and don't know what to make of it.

We were going to get dinner together. We met at a mall and took transit together, and I followed her around since this was her city and I was unfamiliar with how to get around by foot. Honestly, it felt like a normal outing at first, she showed me around downtown and we took a detour walking to our dinner place, taking a nice scenic route weaving through the river valley.

We arrived at a ramen place slightly before 8 PM. It's a place that she recommended, so we went, and the food was delicious. I've never had a hangout with her like this before, we only knew each other from a club we were in together for 3 years, and we both were on the executive team together.

When we talked to each other, it was endless. We talked for so long that we didn't even realize that the restaurant was closing around us, in fact, the waitress had to inform us that the restaurant was past closing (10 PM, it was 10:15 PM when she notified us) but there was no rush for us to get out. I've only had two people in the past that conversations had happened like that: with previous crushes. Sometimes we can just talk and talk and never stop. I think this is where the rosy atmosphere started.

After dinner, we wanted to go and see the fireworks happening in her city that started at 11 PM. We walked downtown, and thought that we wouldn't watch them because it was so busy and a bit uncomfortable due to so many drunk people on the streets. But as we were walking back to the train station, the fireworks started and we stopped by the side of the road to watch it together. I noticed that we were closer now, physically - her and I's arms were touching.

When the fireworks finished, it was a mad dash for the train station and it was quite scary. I've never seen so many people trying to pile onto a platform at once. I didn't want to get lost in a city I was unfamiliar with, so I suggested that we hold hands to not lose each other, and we did. I swear I did this with innocent intentions, but as the night went on, I think it spurred more romantic gestures after. When I hold hands with someone, I like to use my thumb and trace the outline of the other person's index finger. She returned the favour in kind as we held hands.

Getting in the train car was interesting too. Miraculously, thanks to my assertiveness of getting through the doors quickly, we managed to find seats, not together, but across from each other horizontally. There were some drunk people on the train, so I don't know what overcame me, but I used my legs to traps hers around mine so that we only faced each other - sort of to protect her if you will, while we were sitting.

A few stops before our station, she suggested we get up and move towards the doors. This was the worst as we were squished together. However, our hands were wrapped around each other's waists. When the train lunched forwards I would hold her tighter and closer to steady her.

When we got off, I thought we would stop holding each other since it wasn't as crowded anymore, but she still held onto my hand. I don't know what to make of this - was she enjoying this too? There wasn't a reason to hold hands now. We walked a short while to the parking lot where we had parked our cars.

We showed each other our cars - I gave her a tour of my new one since she hadn't seen it before. In my car, we spent another hour talking. I rambled on and on about my interests and even talked about Smosh(!), and she listened. I showed her my Spotify playlists, we talked of musicals, favourite artists, and that when I come back to her city in a month's time, we should hang out again. We would plan to go hiking together, as that's something both of us want to do.

...So when the time came to say goodbye, I felt us linger. She had work tomorrow morning - or rather, today, it was near 1 AM. I didn't want to keep her out longer, she leaves for work at 6:45 AM. This is what happens in parking lots to me with girls - queer lingering in a place that I intend to leave, with her in my car. There's something left unsaid in the rosy atmosphere, anticipation. When we both got home safely, we texted each other.

I'm not sure what to make of the whole outing, it felt like it evolved into a date when I reflect on it. Does she like me? What just happened? Do I like her? I've been replaying the evening in my head trying to make sense of it.

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[smoshblr-aita]

UPDATE.

(I can't believe I get to say this now I feel like Shayne.)

I'm the op that submitted the AITA about being a bad friend. I ended the post asking for advice because Violet (the friend I mentioned) was going to be in my town and wanted to meet up. Well we did meet up. And it was pretty awkward.

First off- when she mentioned we meet up I thought it was going to be the two of us, I was wrong. 10 min before we were supposed to meet at a pub she asked if it was okay she was coming with a friend. I was like huh?? I don't do too well with last-minute plan changes. But by that point I was only a few blocks away and was in the 'let's get this over with' mindset, so I said sure.

Well we meet and hug, it's awkward as hell so Violet and her friend order drinks, then more drinks. I quit drinking a couple years back so I'm not drinking. We talk about work, a few memories from uni before we drifted apart, and then they proceed to tell me the story of how they met. Violet leaves to order more drinks, her friend and I engage in the most awkward small talk. After a bit we all leave, hug, and say we definitely should do this again knowing damn well we will never ever do this again. I got on the train back home concluding I'm happy she's doing well and has friends she adores, but that it's good we drifted apart. I think her current friends match her vibe way better. Anyway, this is not a crazy update but I hope you enjoyed it anyway ❤️‍🩹

(link to previous post^^)

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r/confession (buckle up, this might be a long one)

i’m constantly missing someone that i really shouldn’t be. a little over a year ago, i went no contact with a friend of 5+ years. i was so deeply in love with her, and she knew. but i had started to build up so much resentment towards her that all of my feelings sorta imploded on itself and yeah. i for sure messed it all up in the end. but tbh, we both were far from perfect.

i hate that i can’t let her go after all this time. she’s forever linked to who i am as a person. people will never know who i am without first knowing who she is. she was the one who made me realize (finally and undeniably) that i was queer. (she was too, and that’s what hurts so much LOL is that i didn’t fall for a straight friend. i fell for someone who could’ve loved me but just didn’t.)

she’s got a new boyfriend now. i try my best to ignore any reminder of her and to stay far away from her life. i went “off the grid” and deleted all my socials a year ago as an attempt to erase her from my life. it doesn’t work because i still get sent screenshots of her posts and stories by well-meaning friends.

i also “ran into” her recently and it shook me so much. we didn’t acknowledge each other, but i clocked her and i’m certain she clocked me too.

i always have an urge to reach out and reconnect. all my friends think it’s a horrible idea, but they’d never been huge fans of her in the first place. it’s because of the way she treated me/made me feel. not all of it was her fault, i was a very confused bleeding heart of a young queer teen. and so i felt everything so deeply and couldn’t control my emotions well.

but i replay the conversations we had in my head constantly and i’m just left with such a feeling of “what if.” some of the things she said to me gave me such mixed signals. i’m still so baffled by it to this day. or maybe i’m just in denial at this point.

she’s the closest thing i’ve ever had to anything romantic happening. i worry i’ve held myself back from love because i’m still searching for her in everyone i meet.

so i guess i’ve resorted to smoshblr for some advice. i’m hesitant to even submit this, but i doubt anyone who knows me irl will find this. so here goes nothing.

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[smoshblr-aita]

okay this is a juicy one so strap in.

AITA for forgiving my aunt for calling the police on me?

Context: I (22,f) was finishing my last year of school in a boarding school when covid hit (literally spring 2020) and they closed it making all international students leave the country since most of our families sent us there from different native countries and we had no homes to stay in when it shut. somehow my parents managed to secure the last available tickets for me to fly back home even though all airports were shutting like the next day, when i got to the airport they said the flight was cancelled but then un-cancelled it??- it was terrifying. i'd been shut off in a boarding school bubble so i had no idea what was really going on and seeing people in diy masks and hazmat suits in the airport was a reality check. thankfully i made it back home, but obviously had to isolate. i lived in my family home's guest room with an ensuite and didn't leave at all for a week. i stayed very safe (even tho many regulations hadn't even come in at that point). I wore gloves & a mask, sanitized anything i touched, and my family left me food by the door.

Now. the family home is kind of split in two? like there are two entries and they're separate living quarters with no way to enter the other but the building is conjoined. My aunt wanted to come live in the other side with her family but heard that I was home. she called my family and demanded them for explanations on why i, who had travelled and was potentially contagious, was in the house. they tried to explain i had nowhere else to go and we were keeping very safe but she was having none of it. so she called the police on me lol. i mean not lol. it was quite serious. long story short the police did not show up because there wasn't really strict regulations i'd broken but my whole side of the family have yet to forgive my aunt. every family gathering they side-eye her or flat out ignore her. listen, what she did was not ideal but i think at this point they're just being rude. covid was terrifying and she had a young kid then so i feel like her freaking out was justified. i keep trying to tell them that, but my family thinks i'm the ahole for forgiving her and should stick to their side. so, aita?

[smoshblr-aita]

Confession:

I also have a crush on someone on smoshblr. We talk pretty often and I'm down bad it's so sad (I might even talk too much if I'm being honest). They live halfway across the world tho so I know nothing would ever happen. They're just so cool and funny and nice. But I gotta get over it because they definitely don't reciprocate any feelings

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[smoshblr-aita]

submissions masterlist:

smoshblr/AITA

AITA for pushing my little brother?

AITA for being obsessed w Amanda's... boobs?

AITA for being a bad friend? || UPDATE

AITA for not "liking" my bff's post?

AITA for embarrassing my coworker?

AITA for having beef over soda?

AITA for intentionally drifting away from a friend?

AITA for not being able to leave my ex for good?

AITA for asking for my money back?

AITA for forgiving my aunt for calling the police on me?

smoshblr/confessions

drunken confession

no first kiss

tumblr crush

tumblr crush too

missing someone

friendly outing

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AITA for asking for my money back? In June my close friend, who lost her job suddenly, asked me to borrow money to buy dog food for her dogs. I lent her $80 for the dog food.

Since then she's gotten paid three times and we ate lunch together once. I asked her about the money she said if I could wait it would be better since she owed a lot of people money. I told her I could wait because I did have extra money at the time.

Fast forward to July. I'm leaving on a trip and asked my friend if I could get the money back before I leave. Said friend brings me the money, handing it to me, and then tells me she'll have to borrow money from someone else to pay her car insurance.

So, I feel bad asking for the cash back (but I did need it for the trip) so AITA?

[smoshblr-aita]

i have a crush on someone here on smoshblr. we've interacted and dmed a few times in the past but after having a bad fallout with someone else online, liking someone you only know on the internet is just a recipe for disaster to me at this point. don't need advice or anything; i'm just avoiding them until the feeling goes away.

(confession^^)

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AITA for not being able to leave my ex for good?

(hii! sorry in advance if something is written wrong or dumb, english is not my first language 😭)

So, I (18, non-binary) and my now-ex girlfriend (I’ll call her S from now on) (18, f) had been dating for almost two years before we agreed to break up in the end of April. In short, I have to move to another town for Uni, and she has to stay for at least two more years in our town, which is really far from where I’m going. She stated that she is not able/doesn’t want to have and support a long distance relationship, so it would be better for us to break up and I totally respect it. We decided to stay close friends.

The relationship already was kind of unhealthy? As most of the close friends and some acquaintances from both of our sides noted. They said that S was using my kindness and not really respecting me. I can’t really tell if it’s true. The only thing that was really affecting me in the relationship was her possessiveness and constant need for attention (I often had to choose her over my friends, family and personal stuff) because of her past experiences with people leaving her and etc.

We broke up and it was okay at first, I needed to go to another city for like 20 days, so we were separated and just texted each other sometimes. Of course, it felt off not being close after two years of being attached to the hip, but was manageable. But it seems that S was not okay at all, she kept texting me stuff like “Come back faster pls everyone is so annoying”, “Without you it feels off and weird” and more. I really tried to keep a neutral tone, because it was her who offered to break up in the first place. Alas, she made it clear that she is still as affectionate as ever.

I had enough time to think, and decided that this relationship is not worth fixing, and I want to move on. It appears to be harder than it sounded in my head.

I returned home and S kept insisting on meeting up and I thought nothing of it. We were hanging out for a couple of days, but slipping into old habits is easy, especially if you both still have feelings for each other, so we just kept acting like we’re still dating? And every time we see each other it’s like we didn’t have a break up at all. I was already conflicted and even asked her what does it all mean and she replied that “it’s too hard to just erase and forget all the stuff that was happening for two years” and I just accepted it???

Also, S met new friends that are a super bad influence and I don’t think they’re great people, and it’s for sure that they are going to get her into trouble. I mentioned it to S, she replied that she knows all that but she’s not gonna indulge into their bad stuff. But her actions have changed and she is now more… edgy??? Also she keeps doing questionable stuff like sleeping over at these friends place for like three days in a row doing God-knows-what and bickering about that with her concerned parents multiple times. I understand that S is 18 and she legally can do whatever she wants, but she is now just suddenly super different not in a good way.

I don’t think continuing this a good thing for both of us, so I try to keep distance and postpone our meetings to not see each other and just naturally be apart. But I’m ready to help her out with things on her beck and call sometimes just because I can’t not help someone if they ask me. But S is upset with me, the last time i rain checked (for real this time, I had stuff to do) she texted me something like “Why don’t you ever want to meet up? It’s like you never even loved me”. How was I even supposed to answer this?

This totally should stop, but I just can’t make myself end this stuff. I don’t know how to explain to S why I don’t want to meet up with her anymore without hurting her feelings, so now we’re just in this awkward limbo situation where we both still have feelings, but we just grew apart so much??

So, AITA for not ending it all sooner and just going with the flow, slipping into acting like we didn’t break up at all instead of confronting the situation?

[smoshblr-aita]

submitted by: anon

Confession: I, female, 25, have still not had my first kiss. I need to tell someone because I feel like the more I repeat it the less I'll become ashamed of it- I was always the academic type throughout school & university and never cared about drama or relationships or 'crushes' for that matter. I found it to be unnecessarily immature and silly (looking back, I wish I changed my opinion quicker so I wouldn't be where I am now.) Now I work a job where I barely need to interact with anyone at all. I'm alone a lot of the time and although I have a few close friends I can't seem to find any suitable romantic partners, and going on dates instils some sort of fight-or-flight response in me where I'm afraid I'll be a terrible kisser when my date finally tries to initiate any kind of contact so I just make up an excuse and leave. I really don't know what to do, I feel like I'm ghosting people but it's only because I'm so damn nervous!!!! That's all.

[smoshblr-aita]

submitted as an ask by: anon

AITA for intentionally drifting away from a friend? So I(15) met my friend “rose”(18) online back during peak pandemic at a time I was very isolated. We quickly became close friends, talking and calling almost everyday. Now three years later we’re still friends but not as close. Even after all this time she’s still the same person, while I’ve changed a lot as a person. I’ve made close irl friends, my interests and passions have changed, but rose hasn’t changed at all from quarantine, which isn’t a bad thing in itself, but the rare times we call now we mostly sit in silence because we don’t have anything in common anymore. Most of our messages are twitter updates about content creators I don’t care about anymore on discord which I hardly ever use. I’ve tried to find other common interests between us but nothing sticks. By now I answer messages late and don’t interact with the twitter stuff. But I feel really bad about not putting effort in the friendship and she even mentions how she’s sad that we don’t talk as much, but it’s not like rose doesn’t have any other friends plus she even has a girlfriend. Another aspect which I think strains the friendship is her Immaturity. She’s three years older than me and already graduated high school but she still acts like a teenager. One example is that recently in a server that she moderates, she got her mod privileges taken away cause she was deleting messages she didn’t like without giving the reason and then complaining about it to me. It seems like everyone is always ganging up on her and she it’s never her fault. Rose always brushes me off if I suggest to actually communicate with people. It’s frustrating to deal with and hear about. Any suggestions on how to continue would me great (excuse grammar errors it’s 4am)

[smoshblr-aita]

AITA for having beef over soda?

My roommate (23) and I (20) have an ongoing tension in the household that’s been grinding my gears. We live off of the same food stamp, and I pay most of the bills off my income. Our food stamp got greatly reduced, so I’ve made an executive decision to only spend about half as much as we did before every grocery trip.

This becomes a problem when we take into account my roommate is straight addicted to soda. Like, 6 sodas a day bad.

Our food stamp last month drained incredibly quickly to accommodate the soda habit, that we barely got any actual food for the whole month. They continued to ask me to get sodas for them off of my own income, for which I agreed, for awhile, until it clicked accommodating that as well absolutely DRAINED my disposable income.

I put my foot down this morning, saying that it’s a genuine problem and they need to start pacing themselves if we want to afford to eat. I even suggested hiding the sodas in my room so they couldn’t get to them until I got home. I realize that suggestion is a bit extreme, so I walked back the statement.

I’ll be honest when I say ��putting my foot down” took the shape of me standing in front of the TV and calling them out, like a parent. This probably made them not very receptive to my comments.

AITA for calling them out on it? Regardless, is there a better way to go about this conversation?

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AITA for embarrassing my coworker

I (18 male) currently work a minimum wage part time job while I’m saving for a car (ugh). This job is essentially just an assembly line to put food on trays. So one person puts on the ticket and the silverware and sends it down the line, the next puts on dessert etc etc. Well today I was 1 so I was putting on silverware, liners, creamer, sugar, salt, pepper, and silverware. It’s one of the most difficult stations and I tend to need to focus to read what each individual ticket needs (soup spoon, sugar sub, no salt, etc), we had a somewhat new guy alone on 3. His only job was to put butter on every tray, mustard on any tray with a sandwich, and soup on any tray that wanted it. I was somewhat a little salty probably because 3 is my favorite station and the one I’m an expert at but I had to be put on 1 because the person originally scheduled for 1 called off last minute. So we’re moving at a good pace, I’ve got the trays mostly backed up to the end everyone is doing their best. The manager keeps calling down like “need a mustard” “need a soup and cracker” “you put on the wrong soup” so on and so forth all mistakes by the guy on 3. No biggie it’s only his like 4th time working 3 alone (after like 2 weeks of training) and it’s not slowing us down too much. Plus I get it’s embarrassing to have the manager call out every mistake outloud in front of everyone, but quite frankly that’s just how it is since he needs the mistake corrected and needs to stay at his own spot on the line. So we’re in a lull where I’m not pushing trays because I had to replenish the stack of trays in front of me and switch out my silverware container so I’m not constantly pushing trays down. Again no big deal I can get us backed up again within 30 seconds. But instead this smug little jerk turns and yells down the line “HEY (my name) CAN I PAY YOU TO GO FASTER. HOW DOES TEN BUCKS SOUND” and my response was to yell back “HEY CAN I PAY YOU TO DO YOUR JOB RIGHT” my manager looked like a deer in headlights I’m pretty sure he thought might punch the kid (oh the new guy he’s like 16/17?ish, not much younger than me but not older for sure btw) well after trayline he came up to me (3 not the manager lol) and said that I really embarrassed him and did the “it’s just a prank bro” type defense where he said he was joking and I reminded everyone he was doing a bad job and what I said was too mean spirited. I basically laughed in his face. Because I thought my comeback was good. But then both my manager (who usually really trusts me) and another coworker who I usually get along with really well told me that I was a little harsh and he didn’t really understand how trayline works and he looked like he was crying after I insulted him back (I didn’t see because when I push trays I’m usually looking down at the ticket) and my manager implied I better go easy on him in the assembly for dishroom which really got to me since I don’t think my manager has every taken any one else’s side besides mine if I’m involved in a conflict, I’m one of his go to trainers and I know every station, he wanted to make me an assistant supervisor. So just the fact that he thought I jumped the gun with my retort is really having me doubt myself. I probably would have just polled my friends but I just got home from the above described shift and saw that the smoshblr aith is up and figured I could toss it in here to see what yall think.

Oh btw I put on anon which I feel like a little ruins the fun for me because it’d be cool to actually have discussions with moots about it being me but since I made the choice to put my age in here so I could feel like a real Redditor I’m keeping it on anon lol

[smoshblr-aita]

So this is an r/Confessions type of situation:

I drunkenly confessed my feelings for my best friend via text but, upon finding out she thought I was texting someone else the whole time (and found it hilarious) the next morning, made a fake Instagram account and backstory to ACTUALLY pretend like I had been texting someone else since she demanded to know how the hell I hadn't told her I liked someone because we know most things about each other. Needless to say she did not reciprocate or even think of reciprocating my feelings so I just moved on from the whole thing as quickly as I could by pretending to get "ghosted" by my own fake account. Wow this feels nice to get off my chest, we're both in our mid twenties so this is really embarassing for me and I'm over my feelings for her now so that's great.

(there's no poll since this is a confession but feel free to discuss this in tags/replies)