smunconservadors

[smunconservadors]

FIND MY SCREWS!

[smunconservadors]

Guys Im busy making children. Stop disturbing me with the directives. I WILL NOT ALLOW ANY DIRECTIVES FOR THE NEXT 20 MINS. I HAVE SCATTERED 24 SCREWS AROUND THE WORLD, 1 IN EACH NATION. PLEASE HELP ME FIND THEM.

[smunconservadors]

Electric Encounters: Little John Meets Santiago

At the glittering political gala, Little John’s magnetic charm sweeps through the room, drawing everyone’s eyes. Santiago, regal and introspective, stands in the spotlight of his own making. Their paths cross under the opulent chandelier, a moment charged with electric anticipation.

“Senor Santiago,” Little John’s voice is smooth, rich with playful intent. “It’s rare to meet a presence as compelling as yours. May I have a moment to bask in your aura?”

Santiago smiles, acknowledging the warmth in Little John’s eyes. “Of course, Little John. It’s a pleasure to engage with someone as lively as you.”

Their conversation flows effortlessly, a dance of ideas and wit. Little John’s compliments are bold and flirtatious, “Your ideas sparkle brighter than this chandelier, Santiago.”

With a knowing smile, Santiago replies, “And your energy is as invigorating as the summer breeze.”

As the night progresses, their connection deepens, moving from shared visions to personal stories, creating a bond that feels profound and intimate. By the end of the evening, they exchange numbers, signaling the start of something promising.

Little John departs the gala feeling the stirrings of a meaningful connection, eager to see where this relationship could lead. In Santiago, he finds not just a political ally, but a kindred spirit.

omg are they gay..?

[smunconservadors]

President Little John’s Skibidi Rizz Takeover: New Vibes, No Nods to the Past! 1951

Yo, get ready for the freshest chapter in our nation’s saga, ‘cause President Little John’s stepping in and flipping the script with some hardcore skibidi rizz! We’re not just making moves; we’re making waves, and here’s how Little John’s ruling style is about to reshape the scene.

President Little John’s got a new game plan, and it’s all about crafting a fresh narrative. He’s here to drop some new beats, tossing aside the old requests like last season’s fashion. It’s all about innovation, baby!

Forget everything you thought you knew about politics! Little John’s bringing that high-energy, chaotic rizz that’s gonna shake things up. This isn’t about following old scripts – it’s about creating new ones that resonate with today’s vibes.

We’re hitting the reset button on those old demands and directives. Little John’s focus? Setting the stage for tomorrow, not revisiting yesteryear’s requests. It’s all about forward motion, like hitting the griddy across the finish line.

No looking back, just moving ahead with bold, innovative strategies. Little John’s vision is to sculpt a future that’s as dynamic and electrifying as a live concert, filled with new opportunities and fresh perspectives.

This isn’t just governance; it’s a full-blown skibidi rizz party. Little John’s leadership style is gonna be all about engagement, energy, and excitement, leaving behind the old ways for a more vibrant, responsive approach to leadership.

So, buckle up and get ready to ride the wave of President Little John’s skibidi rizz revolution. It’s time to embrace the new vibes, and leave the past in the rearview. Let’s make this era one for the history books! 🌊🚀

As such, all past directives will be ignored :)

[smunconservadors]

Operation Rebuild Colombia: Steel, Wood, and Auntie’s Screws Extravaganza! Now Kickin’ It: 1951

Alrighty folks, buckle up, ‘cause we’re diving headfirst into the wackiest re-build-a-thon Colombia’s ever seen! We’re talkin’ about a full-blown fiesta of galvanized square steels, eco-friendly wood veneer, and screws borrowed from your auntie’s DIY drawer. Yep, you heard it right, we’re doing this the rizzway!

First up, we’ve got the galvanised square steel squad on deck – these aren’t just any steel beams; we’re talking galvanized, like your auntie’s favorite kitchen sink! They’re tougher than a durian’s shell, ready to withstand whatever Mother Nature throws at ‘em. We’re building structures that not only stand tall but also stand out, with all the glitz of a neon sign.

Then, we’ve got the wood veneer – smooth, sleek, and more environmentally friendly than a tofu burger. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill lumber; this veneer’s got the vibes, adding that splash of rustic chic to our cityscape. It’s all about that warm, natural look that makes everyone say, “Ahh, so eco!”

And the screws? Oh boy, these aren’t just any screws; they’re hand-picked from your auntie’s collection, straight from her sewing kit. Each screw is a little piece of history, holding our dreams together with a touch of familial love. It’s like every building is getting a big, warm hug from your favorite auntie.

So here we are, with our steel, our wood, and our screws, building Colombia back up in the quirkiest, most brainrot way possible. It’s a wild ride, a true testament to the power of galvanized determination, eco-friendly dreams, and the spirit of family. Let’s get building, let’s get rizzed, and let’s make Colombia shine! 🌟🔧🌲

[smunconservadors]

Yo, the whole world just turned into a nuclear skibidi bop pow!

Colombia is now glowing like a rave party gone wrong, and everyone’s got that spicy nuclear tan. The radiation is off the charts, and the place is a chaotic circus of pure brainrot energy.

In other news, the sheer amount of skibidi gyatt rizz happening here is off the charts – only in Ohio, baby! Duke Dennis did you pray today? Livvy Dunne’s out here rizzing up Baby Gronk while the sussy imposter pibby glitch is wreaking havoc in real life. Sigma Alpha Omega male grindset is strong, Andrew Tate goon cave vibes mixed with Freddy Fazbear’s pizza panic.

Colleen Ballinger smurf cat is duking it out with strawberry elephant, and blud dawg shmlawg IShowSpeed is bringing the turbulence. Ambatukam! Bro really thinks he's Carti while literally hitting the griddy the ocky way.

Damn we should do something about fertility rates. There is no more skibidi rizz in colombia :((((

[smunconservadors]

Backrooms

USSR and US Agree to Use Colombia as Nuclear Testing Ground

7 June 1952 

After the country has been reduced to nuclear rubble overnight, everyone here has nuclear radiation. The sheer amount of skibidi gyatt rizz only in ohio duke dennis did you pray today livvy dunne rizzing up baby gronk sussy imposter pibby glitch in real life sigma alpha omega male grindset andrew tate goon cave freddy fazbear colleen ballinger smurf cat vs strawberry elephant blud dawg shmlawg ishowspeed a whole bunch of turbulence ambatukam bro really thinks he's carti literally hitting the griddy the ocky way kai cenat fanum tax garten of banban no edging in class not the mosquito again bussing axel in harlem whopper whopper whopper whopper 1 2 buckle my shoe goofy ahh aiden ross sin city monday left me broken quirked up white boy busting it down goated with the sauce john pork grimace shake kiki do you love me huggy wuggy nathaniel b lightskin stare biggest bird omar the referee amogus uncanny wholesome reddit chungus keanu reeves pizza tower zesty poggers kumalala savesta quandale dingle glizzy rose toy ankha zone thug shaker morbin time dj khaled sisyphus oceangate shadow wizard money gang ayo the pizza here PLUH nair t-pose ugandan knuckles family guy funny moments compilation with subway surfers gameplay at the bottom nickeh30 ratio uwu delulu opium bird cg5 mewing fortnite battle pass all my fellas gta 6 backrooms gigachad based cringe kino redpilled no nut november pokénut november wojak literally 1984 foot fetish F in the chat i love lean looksmaxxing gassy incredible theodore john kaczynski social credit bing chilling xbox live mrbeast kid named finger better caul saul i am a surgeon one in a krillion hit or miss i guess they never miss huh i like ya cut g ice spice we go gym kevin james josh hutcherson edit coffin of andy and leyley metal pipe falling.

Good job everyone Viva La Colombia frfr!!!!!

[smunconservadors]

Secretariat of the Colombian Government 

Foreign Ministry Up in Flames, Military Scrambles to Defend Against Raiders 

7 June 1952 

WARNING TO ALL CONGRESSMEN: Please locate the nearest government building or safehouse available. Do not contact anyone, and remain until cleared by the Security Division.

Currently, raids by the Los Pajaros have begun on government ministries, and the Foreign Ministry is up in flames as militants attack the building in an attempt to extract Santiago Arango Valencia and stop him from being sent to the Hague. We have scrambled our military to defend against these raiders, and have mobilized our Internal Security Division to ensure the security of the President and fellow Congressmen. 

This event is currently occurring, and information may be inaccurate with time. Please await further instructions. 

[smunconservadors]

Anonymous Press Release

El Diario Independiente

13 May 1952

"With the recent coup within the military, Senor Benedicto has actually threatened to massacare everybody if this is not solved! This shows not only the instability of the military that Garcia proudly states to control with stability, and puts Benedicto's terror for all to see, is this really who you are to be supporting? People of Colombia? A general with no direction over his troops and a bloodthirsty one threatening to destroy Colombia? No! Please support the PCC's and your "minister for peace", and work together, for the benefit of Colombia."

[smunconservadors]

El Columbia Nationale

Reformation of Columbia

15 May 1952

Following the People's Liberation Party winning an overwhelming majority in the recent elections, the time has come to realise their promises.

The PLP has released a statement:

"Dear citizens of Columbia, thank you for placing your faith and trust in us. Our country has been decimated, our economy in shambles. It is now time to reform this nation. Enough blood and tears have been shed in vain. By the order of Cabinet, corruption and embezzlement inquiries are hereby underway. Anyone who has misused the funds allocated for the development of this nation will be severely dealt with.

Further, we hereby declare that all military actions are to stop. The new Minister of War has issued the order that any military actions that are to halt with immediate effect."

[smunconservadors]

El Diario Independiente - Op-Ed 

Debauchery Aloof 

9 May 1952 

Colombia is in shambles! Senor Santiago of the Conservative Cabinet is a traitor to our nation, as he engages in black market activities and is a wanted terrorist. Yet, the Conservatives have easily fallen into his trap, seeing him as nothing more than a saint, and forgiving him for almost letting us get invaded! Senor Jior of the Conservative Cabinet is using his power as Minister for Economic Reformation to unjustly benefit his own company, a clear abuse of power! Senor Benedicto has ordered his men to make passionate love to one another instead of destroying the Liberals, a horrible sin in Catholicism (repent!). 

The National Front is a hoax, and I have intelligence that the uncaught spy now intends to surround the joint Cabinet once they convene for a National Front. Yet, the Conservatives seem to fail to consider this, and blindly vote on the National Front. The Liberal Party have broken their vision combining with the terroristic Nationalists, and they now lack the legitimacy that they once had amongst the people. The PLP, too, are but useless populists, and have ruined the legitimacy of the Liberal Cabinet.

[smunconservadors]

El Diario Independiente

Conservative Army Rebels 

8 May 1952 

Following the overwhelming military failure yesterday, particularly the severe mishandling of the Final Offensive of Puerto Carreno, many generals in the Conservative Army have been left severely disheartened. Morale has greatly dropped as troops now face both opposition from Liberal militias and local rioters. A lack of decisive action from the chain-of-command leaves many generals stranded, and the Conservative Army has slowly been forced to retreat out of even Meta. 

Following constant circular discussions on a National Front, General Francisco Parra, head of the 5th Division’s 6th Infantry Brigade, has just announced intentions to launch a coup on the leadership, leaving his previously defended post of Ibague as the new headquarters for the military rebellion. Many other brigade leaders have cut complete communications with headquarters, and it is incredibly difficult to now determine between friend or foe amidst the ongoing military coup.

[smunconservadors]

Statement by Santiago Arango Valencia

7 May 1952

My fellow citizens... The People of Colombia... His Excellencies of the US and USSR... Colombia is in trouble. As your Commander-in-Chief, I assure you that I am in full control and committed to defending our sovereignty and peace. Recent events have brought turmoil, but we will not be intimidated by external pressures or internal dissent. Effective immediately, all military branches are to mobilize to designated strategic locations. All commanders - irrespective of seniority - are instructed to ensure strict adherence to orders, and any deviation will be treated as an act of treason. An immediate and thorough investigation has been launched to identify those responsible for the heinous attacks on the embassies. This betrayal will not go unpunished. We will bring the perpetrators to justice and demonstrate that such actions against our leadership and sovereignty will not be tolerated. As your Commander-in-Chief, I, Santiago Arango Valencia, would like to reaffirm my absolute authority and command over all military and governmental operations. Any acts of disobedience, insubordination, or betrayal will be met with the severest of consequences. Our nation’s stability and sovereignty depend on unwavering loyalty and discipline. To the Governments of the United States and the Soviet Union, as the better leader of Colombia, I am prepared to address the recent horrifying scene caused by my soldiers - especially their misunderstanding and misinterpretation of orders. Allow me to clarify: I never intended to blow any embassies or foreign diplomat's properties up. I merely ordered them to kill any and all communists and liberal ex-pats on sight. They screwed up, and trust me, but I will be accountable for this. The lives of your soldiers have been lost, and as such, I will bring you justice. This means bringing the soldiers who caused this chaos to a military tribunal. If you want to have the autonomy and discretion to handle these perpetrators, I am more than willing to have them transported over to your country. You can handle them as you wish. You can deploy some monitoring mechanisms on me if that makes you trust me. But I am committed. Committed to fixing this gibberish. For far too long, I have been able to guide this country to victory. For far too long, I have held absolute loyalty to justice. Please trust me, my fellow citizens. Please trust me and give me a number (some time) to handle this situation.

[smunconservadors]

Secretariat of the Colombian Conservative Party 

Conservative Cabinet Congressmen Pass Bill to Trial Santiago, Liberal Cabinet to Further Deliberate 

7 May 1952 

Following a unanimous decision by the entire Conservative Cabinet, a Bill proposed by Benedicto Jose de Sucre, Alcides Garcia and Mariano Ospina Perez have directed for Santiago to be sent to the ICJ in the Hague. However, this Bill takes military action to detain him and direct him to the Hague, and thus would require a vote by the Congress to pass. To that extent, the Liberal Cabinet Congressmen have to vote upon the Bill to pass it as well. They shall vote upon it within a month (or for the case of the simulation, at 9.30AM).

A speech by Esteban Cardona Duque, in response to this, stated “screw those Liberals, why are they in Congress anyways!” 

[smunconservadors]

US AND USSR EMBASSIES BOMBED

3 March 1952

BREAKING NEWS! The US and USSR Embassies have been bombed by a troop of 500, and it has been linked back to the newly defected Santiago Arango Valencia.

40 men were killed in the bombings, while those found surviving were shot dead. In response to this, the American and Russian delegation, each respectively, have issued their respective condemnations for it. Each have fully condemned this action, and have called for a response by the Colombian government. In addition, 2 American warships originally left in the Pacific is now being redirected.

Countries neighboring Colombia have closed and reinforced their borders following this news out of fear of being caught in a potential crossfire.

The international community, following in the footsteps of the 2 superpowers, have similarly condemned the Colombians and have called for an explanation to the event; moreso, they are extremely fearful towards the idea of the combined might and fury of the 2 superpowers. While this does not mark the end of the Cold War, it does provide both militarily frustrated superpowers an easy target.

As the world awaits a response, Colombians too fear for their future.

[smunconservadors]

El Diario Independiente

Election Results

29 February 1952

The elections results have just concluded, following a lengthy delay due to the prior conflicts.

The PLP led by a 80%, followed by the Liberals with 15% and finally the Conservatives with 5%. The following list of delegates show the results of those who have won the elections.

+Amazonas – Santiago Arango Valencia – Partido Conservador Colombiano +Amazonas - Manuel Marulanda Vélez - Colombian Nationalist Party - CNP-CLP Alliance

+Antioquia – Roberto Urdaneta – Partido Conservador Colombiano

+Bolívar – Jeronimo Zuluaga Vargas - People’s Liberation Party

+Caldas – Alcides Garcia – Partido Conservador Colombiano

+Casanare - Guadalupe Salcedo - Colombian Liberal Party - CNP-CLP Alliance

+Cesar – Enrique Figueroa – Partido Conservador Colombiano

+Cundinamarca - Isauro Yosa - Colombian Nationalist Party - CNP-CLP Alliance

+Guaviare – Benedicto Jose de Sucre – Partido Conservador Colombiano

+Quindio - Andres Enrique Gomez - Colombian Nationalist Party - CNP-CLP Alliance

+Santander – Esteban Cardona Duque – Partido Conservador Colombiano

+Valle del Cauca - Santiago Rios - Colombian Nationalist Party - CNP-CLP Alliance +Valle del Cauca – Gustavo Rojas Pinilla – Partido Conservador Colombiano

+Vaupés – Jair Giraldo - Partido Conservador Colombiano

+Vichada - Alfonso Lopez Pumarejo - Colombian Liberal Party - CNP-CLP Alliance

Following which, elections held within the PLP have given an overwhelming victory to Armando Marin, despite many newer members (including those in the Cabinets currently) contesting for the positions. The Vice President position was won by Guadalupe Salcedo.

As the new Colombian government convenes to discuss the future of Colombia, it remains to be seen what will be done.

[smunconservadors]

Secretariat of the United Nations 

Shipments Arrived, but Liberals Capture After Massive Fighting

29 January 1952 

Our shipments have arrived, and thankfully our cargo plane is untouched. While the originally reinforced Conservative cities fired flares that coordinated the airdrops, we noticed that several armored vehicles ramming through the borders of the cities. We suspect that the Liberals might have captured these shipments.

Good job random Colombian people, let us know if you need more stuff.

Correction Notice: We have identified Felipe Antonio López, the Nationalist Party and the Liberal Party as those who have captured the shipments.