smuttyanus

[smuttyanus]

i’m back after two years

lmao hi, follow my other account that i’m much more active on @stickystudying

[smuttyanus]

Baekhyun: Chanyeol is hot.

Kyungsoo: Jongin is hot.

Xiumin: Jongdae is hot. Why is everybody so hot?

Sehun: I've learned this in school. It's global warming

[smuttyanus]

[smuttyanus]

Music is just wiggling air

[smuttyanus]

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

[smuttyanus]

mood swing: passes

me: ……….. what the FUCK was that

[smuttyanus]

therapist: how was your week?

me: mm.. i can’t remember

[smuttyanus]

Today in Dubai, Minho very sweetly tried to greet fans in Arabic by saying “peace be upon you,” pronounced “assalamu alaykum.” However, Minho made the adorable mistake of saying “assalaTAmu alaykum,” which means….

Salad be upon you.

Source

[smuttyanus]

[smuttyanus]

do you have any yixing fic recs or yixing writers ? i’ve read yours and am currently rereading them along with other favorites and i can’t seem to find any others 😤😤

Hi, Anon! Please read my FAQ before submitting an ask, as is written on my ask button. My fic recs are there! Some of my favorite EXO writers whom I know have Yixing writing though, are @soobadnoonecanstopher @3kpop2jagi1 @thesammtimes 💕

[smuttyanus]

tbh i still cant get over that ask you got where they said they felt sorry for jungkooks daughter cause they cant fuck him and that if she looked at him too long the bitch was dead like wow... you really have wild followers

That was the most fucked up ask we have gotten. No, I’m lying

[smuttyanus]

little things

- hidden away cafes in the middle of downtown

- sipping hot chocolate as you watch the sun dip under the trees

- listening to classical music as you clean and pretending to be cinderella

- finding dandelions and thinking hard about what to wish for

- wishing for a little thing that you know will come true so you can say your wish came true

- sitting in the window seat of a plane and looking at the clouds pass around you

- taking off whatever uncomfortable clothes you’re wearing after being out all day

- lighting a candle after a long day and breathing in the new scent

- sitting outside, listening to the soothing sounds of nature around you, and watching that one particular bird in that one particular tree

add more if you wish! i’d like to know other people’s little things

[smuttyanus]

neck kissing is honestly the hottest, most seductive thing anybody could ever do to me. if you kiss my neck, if you playfully bite my neck, if your tongue touches my neck i will melt in your fingertips.

[smuttyanus]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[smuttyanus]

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: …

me: …

depression: time for more sleeping

me: yeah okay

anxiety: WAIT

[smuttyanus]

me before working out: i dont wanna do this

me while working out: I D O N T W A N N A D O T H I S

me after working out: WOW, i am simply phenomenal. every drop of blood running through my veins is graced with the ichor of the gods, i am an olympic athlete

[smuttyanus]

“do your parents know?”

bitch, the only thing my parents know about me is just enough to identify me on a morgue table.