smvdge

[smvdge]

The bliss of remembering: (a poem)

Summary: in which, Quackity remembers

Relationships: C!jschlatt and C!quackity

TW// implied violence.

Originally posted onto ao3.

The bliss of remembering:

He loved so violently.

Yes violently, that must be the word.

For what is love, if not violent?

Teeth flashing,

burning,

digging face first,

Bold,

brave,

ricocheting through the thimbleweed of a distant neverland

It was boyish in all it’s demands,

Youthful,

innocent,

playful

A requisite I would not understand

Until the later years in its absence.

It was as if he held the weight of the world in his hands

Bouncing it, tossing it,

He cared for it like a pitcher to the bat

Trained, precise,

He lines up the winning shot

And it soars,

Rockets,

Hastily,

Readily,

Until it’s gravitational pull meets cherry oak wood

And on which the soil he stepped on,

Flowers wilted, and buds bloomed

Roaring in like yesteryears winds

Watching as the skies dip into an ember gold

He taught me how to fence,

Blood pooling and knuckles cracked

I fought him the way he always loved me

Violent,

rapid,

quick fire,

Agony,

pain,

weeping,

A crimson puddle

He hated me violently too.

Spiteful, spitting, rumbling

I understood it’s presence

Like a mother to a miscarriage

A working alcoholic

Venom,

Poison,

Emerald daggers

He looked at me then like the soot under his cleat

And I felt the weight of the world,

His world,

Not even a step closer.

Yes I remember now,

We fenced like we hated.

Ready,

rising,

corroding.

Violent in the way we started

And violent in the way we ended

Phantom touches

Beer bottles caressing my cheekbones

Green, murky

Ice cold to the touch

He left me so quietly

Haunting,

Echoing,

Stillness

I prayed for a second

Of silence

Whenever he used to love me

hate me,

Bloodied hand,

A broken grin,

How cynical.

I laugh now

All that remains of his love,

His hatred

Bloodlust,

anger

Is silence.

Wintery,

Quicksilver,

Quiet.

I missed him quietly too.

A widower,

A partner,

I watched the days fade to the next

Multicoloured haze

He loved me violently, yes

But he loved me nonetheless.

I mourned for his life.

A flame,

Once bright,

Golden,

Burning with intention

Violent,

Ready,

A single match,

gone.

Time escaped from my grasp like sand,

his ash sat heavy in my hand.

And I cried, a final time

For the time

The love

The life,

I lost,

Spent loving violently,

Hating violently,

By his side.

He lies now,

Amongst the flowers that grew upon his land.

Enriching the earth,

Chrysanthemums,

Lisanthus,

Campanula,

Presence never forgotten.

I loved him, undoubtedly,

Naive, young, gullible.

Passion, paid only in its counterpart

Of course it was unconditional,

For what is to loved, or be loved

Without its all?

I fence with it now,

A history of tragedy, romancing,

Of agony,

A victory,

I watch,

A golden sun,

Shining and warming,

So violently.

[smvdge]

Hello, I’m smudge :)

My pronouns are she/they and I am a writer and a fan artist for mcyt as of right now.

I’ll probably post most of my writing here, but if you want to check out more here is my ao3

Other platforms I’m on:

@skinninlemons on ig

@skinminlenom on twt (I’m not active there though)

Yeah that’s it. Um… bye :•)