snack-at-midnight - Tumblr blog

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based off of this post by @trek-tracks

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hey jun i remembered tumblr existed so i want u to look up lego piece 32557

oh this is Epic.

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cock so fat i set off the tsa's fat cock alarm and got a complimentary gentle grope from their bravest pervert

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*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*

Doc Ock, landing a hit: You’re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?

Spider-Man: You wish! I haven’t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.

Vulture: Watch it wallcr- wait… Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?

Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-

Electro: Dude I’ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?

Shocker, joking cause he’s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Don’t swear in-front of the boy you don’t want him to pick it up.

Rhino: Christ! You’re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?

Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-

Sandman, horrified as he’s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I could’ve killed a kid…

Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ain’t had his first drink yet.

Electro: Please tell us you’re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, I’ll take over 21!

Spider-Man:….

Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.

Spider-Man: My birthday’s coming up soon so I guess it counts?

Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!

Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?

Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-

Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!

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@festival-of-pudding like….

🤣😮‍💨

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he's so beautiful brown is rlly his color

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a portrait of the big man

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(PLEASE DON’T COPY/EDIT/USE/REPOST, REBLOG INSTEAD)

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the idea that dressed boring/plain means a person is boring is well... uh. ok. i'm going to be nice. some of us don't live in outfit world.

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halloween house md ep. they treat a patient who looks like they got bit by a vampire. somehow house knows enough about twilight to make more than one comment. he comes in the next day in a "team edward" shirt. thirteen wears cat ears. house makes a moderately homophobic "you are what you eat" joke. the patient actually got bit by a rat whom house let loose in the hospital to prank wilson. the rat also bites through house's cane.

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it's so foggy out on the road i can't make out (makeout?! 😳😏😳🥺⁉️❤️❣️?💗💓💕💞💖💛💚💖💛💝💋?) a thing 10 feet infront of me

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I think every Charlie Slimecicle ttrpg combat turn goes like this:

With my action I pull out The InstaKiller3000, which everyone forgot I had and collectively agrees I should not have ever under any circumstances. With my bonus action I am going to use the most vaguely worded spell in existence and argue semantics with the dm for at least 10 minutes until I somehow bs my way into making a shitty spell turn The InstaKiller3000 into The InstaKiller10000. I’m now going to describe the most epic fucking visual any human being could come up with for when I use The Instakiller10000. Time to roll for damage!!! It’s a 1, and with my equally horribly rolled stats that makes it a -3. I hit myself in the face with The InstaKiller10000 and die instantly

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faded blue house portrait hanging on the wall at the local urgentcare