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this is so true!!!!! 😤

it’s been a few years but i’m coming back to share that i’ve been thinking about snape and how he deserved a big tiddy goth gf and no i will not be taking any questions

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it’s been a few years but i’m coming back to share that i’ve been thinking about snape and how he deserved a big tiddy goth gf and no i will not be taking any questions

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Story of my life

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I’m going to rewrite the harry potter series and it’s going to be called Hermione Granger and The Glorious Glock where she gets a gun and shoots voldemort through the skull and then everyone is free to continue their education in peace. It’ll be 3.5 pages long. 

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Hogwarts Classes as John Mulaney Quotes

Care of Magical Creatures: You need to show dominance over your puppy.

Defense Against the Dark Arts: STREET SMARTS!

Potions: I grabbed it, drank all of it, and said "It's perfume."

Flying: Cars were pulling up and looking over to see who just did that piece of shit move, expecting to see like a hundred-year-old blind dog, who's texting while driving and drinking a smoothie. Instead they see a 28-year-old healthy man trying his best.

Transfiguration: This is an on fire garbage can. Could be a nursery.

History of Magic: That’s like when your gram would be like, “We’d all go play jacks down at the soda fountain!” and you’re like, “No one knows what you’re talking about, you IDIOT.”

Muggle Studies: "I think Emily Dickinson's a lesbian." And they're like, "Partial credit."

Frog Choir: So we put in seven dollars and selected 21 plays of Tom Jones' "What's new pussycat"

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It’s funny how I ship Hermione with everyone except Ron.

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nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as yr with me you’ll be just fine nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, nothing’s gonna take you from my side

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NOTHING is funnier to me than the fact that Dumbledore literally designed the PERFECT protection for the Philosopher’s Stone but still let the McGonagall enchant a giant chess set and Snape make a Legend of Zelda puzzle purely for the DRAMA of it all. And y'all say Dumbledore wasn’t ever visibly gay.

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whenever i see the comic, this is what i think of.

here, have a sneme. 

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potions-loving bitch with zero chill 

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Severus x Hermione for @itisariddle

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Happy Birthday Hermione Granger! (September 19, 1979)

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evolutionary process

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this is basically how that scene went, right? 

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They ain’t all bad. Snape was in Slytherin. It turned out he had that selfless love.

Taystee Jefferson to Piper Chapman, Orange is the New Black Season 5 Episode 7 (via wandering-muggle)

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Make Me Choose Edits

↳ @scxrpiusmlfoy asked Severus Snape or Minerva Mcgonagall