snipersights

[snipersights]

everything had felt bleak since steve rogers made his unexpected exit .

things had already been difficult to process since the fall of HYDRA , but life had continued to throw one thing after another at james buchanan barnes . the name feels foreign to him now , like a shirt that doesn’t quite fit anymore . now , he’s not quite sure what to go by .

between the trial , the flag smashers and mandated therapy , something had come undone , his mind unravelling at the seams . he supposes it started from madripoor - when he’d slipped back into being the soldier . yes , something about it was comforting - the direct orders , having to do and not think .

but the sokovian colonel would not understand , and neither would the new captain america . this required a different expertise , one only someone specific could provide .

there had always been rumors on the wind about brock rumlow , his former handler , the commander . the asset’s directive was to return to him , so the motions almost felt … natural . he’d donned the gear from madripoor , keeping the mask he’d been offered as well . his reflection was hauntingly familiar , as if nothing had changed .

maybe , nothing should’ve .

as far as he’s concerned , it’s done nothing but complicate things . leaving him to his own devices , setting him up with independence ? that had fallen through over and over . it was time to try something different .

the calabrian summer was sweltering hot , leather body - warmed and sticky against the enhanced’s skin as he moves fast through the crowds . there’s noise everywhere - chatter and music and movement - and yet he blends into the background .

the commander was difficult to miss , and when they made eye contact , he knew he’d made the right decision .

the words had left his mouth before he could even process them , a request - a plea , and unlike everyone else … it was accepted with no hesitation .

this was his salvation .

he takes the light taunts in stride . he knows his handler is correct , has every right to comment on his betrayal . because that was what it was , a defection that should have never happened .

the words give him relief , and exhaustion settles heavy on his shoulders . he nods stiffly , leaning into the other man’s touch . home sounded good , but if rumlow asked he would follow him anywhere .

@snipersights has a request.

" fix me . "

Out of all the faces Brock expected to see— This… This was not one of them.

He’d just been out to pick up lunch- Something small to get him through the rest of the day when he spotted him- His Soldier.

Who had obviously spotted him first.

And before he- Bucky? Was it Bucky now? Was it really- ‘Cause he was different, now, than what he’d seen from the news. He’d let his hair grow again- It was hanging in his eyes and made those dark circles he had just that much darker. It was familiar- Brock stepped forward.

“I wondered how long it’d be,” Rumlow hummed, watching him for a moment before taking him by the arm, leading him away from prying eyes. “Before you got tired of it all and came crawlin’ back- Ain’t that right?” He trailed his hand up Bucky’s right bicep- Letting it rest and dig into his shoulder. “You ain’t broken, baby- Just a little lost. Let me take you home.”

[snipersights]

there’s a fleeting feeling that feels too close to gratitude for comfort . bucky shouldn’t be grateful , of all things , for someone involved in his continued … subservience to HYDRA . that , in itself , was putting it lightly , the voice in his head that sounds suspiciously like steve rogers comments ... but what else is he to think ?rumlow has been the only one to listen to his request for a conversation , for anything with no objection , no conditions .

the enhanced can’t help but feel heard , feel accepted - and when the other man starts moving , following him just felt right . the way the crowds part for the both of them , giving them space , it was clear to bucky that rumlow had made allies in high places . the whisper sends goosebumps prickling down the nape of his neck .

something about this was familiar too . the super soldier can’t help but notice how his vision takes on that sickly green hue , reminiscent of the subterranean bank vault and fever - warm holding cells . he momentarily checks himself , thinks he should be in front of rumlow rather than the opposite . he should be scanning , checking for threats , keeping an eye out for his handler . bucky makes a weak attempt to fight the decades old programming , but there’s not really a point .

his anxiety eases only slightly when they reach the private room . he continues to hover near the doorway , watching as brock made himself comfortable . the question is near impossible to answer . hell , bucky doesn’t know where to start . he shifts his weight from one foot to another , and it’s the dig of the barrel of his … no , rumlow’s sidearm that acts as a reminder .

he could start there .

he unholsters the gun , holding it out with no fingers on the safety or the trigger to show he didn’t mean any harm . there’s a part of him that doesn’t want to part with the weapon - endless , sleepless nights spent up taking apart and wiping down the handgun like a trusted ritual .

you won’t need that anymore . you have him .

bucky pushes down the hopeful thought .

“ i … this is yours . ” he finally manages to get out . there’s a vivid memory - ash and fire and dust biting at his senses as the asset tears through rubble to find its handler , fingernails torn and bloody , dislocated shoulder healed at an awkward angle . malfunction , mission , the man from the bridge , commander .

he had found the gun first , then the body after , hoisting him out and laying him where help could find him .

bucky swallows hard , around the lump in his throat before continuing . “ i’m not here to kill you . ”

@kingcrossbones

bucky had heard about madripoor . it was a lawless land where most criminals and villains alike were protected by their lack of extradition laws . the details of the place are fuzzy , like a dream he can’t quite grasp now .

Keep reading

[snipersights]

CTRL + ALT + DEL

[snipersights]

how long has it been since a meal like this ? time is of no familiarity to the asset , and yet it reasons it must have been years . even in the most lavish of HYDRA banquets , it had been nourished beforehand - and told to keep watch like a guard dog on duty . whatever cravings it once had for food had quickly been diminished , by what exactly it couldn’t say .

the soldier stands when its handler does , assuming it was now headed into a briefing . all other fleeting concerns or doubts were promptly dismissed . the promise of a new mission reoriented the enhanced , gave it purpose . a mission was an easy set of protocols and orders to follow .

without them , the winter soldier would be nothing . it continues behind its handler , keeping an eye out for any passing agents or staff . its guard is admittedly lowered - no reason to be on high alert within the HYDRA base - but it never hurt to be on watch . in fact , it had always been the opposite , reprimands for “ slacking on duty ” .

the asset instinctively averts its gaze , a silly habit surely . at this point , it was trusted with all of HYDRA’s arsenal - but a handler ages ago had deemed it necessary for high level clearance codes to not be known to the soldier . it simply followed . when the large steel doors hiss , locks clicking open in a disjointed rhythm , it enters behind the colonel and waits .

Combat Diplomacy || @snipersights

It took him more time than he would've liked to admit to anyone. He had his in with HYDRA through his parents, and given that it was believed he had no idea what had happened to his wife and son perhaps they expected he would behave and stay in line.

He played his part, the same as he ever had. A doting son determined to follow in his father's footsteps. He was no stranger to playing pretend, and even when he'd been given access to the asset, it had meant little to him.

At first.

To begin with, Zemo found the notion of directing the asset more of a nuisance than anything. By having the asset on hand, he felt watched as much as anything else. It was unnerving.

One might've thought that growing up with nannies and groundskeepers and a butler might've prepared him for having an eternally watchful eye on him, but the asset was an entirely different beast, and Zemo was as cautious about making certain he saw only precisely what he was meant to see.

It had been a couple of days, and he hadn't bothered to deal with the new status quo much, but as he was sitting to eat he turned his attention on the asset with a long look of assessment.

"Do you eat?"

[snipersights]

the asset preens , both at the extra contact and the orders . recreation - as handlers and other HYDRA agents would describe it - was something drilled into the soldier since the start .

and if those flashes ever made their way back to the forefront of its mind , it would remember the intricacies of how it was used to break , to train , to mould and to form . it was a special form of order through pain , though what … pain there really was , now that had been overwritten enough times that the asset could no longer remember why it ever resisted something like this .

its mouth simply falls open again at the swipe of its handler’s thumb , wider now in anticipation of what would come next . it almost goes cross - eyed watching the commander feed the length between its lips , tapping the tip against its tongue . the scent always hits the enhanced first , like a lost dog finding its owner - sweat and musk and fading cologne - and then , the taste .

blindfolded , the asset could tell its commander apart by footfall alone most of the time - the quicker , lighter steps than most of his team despite the thick soles of his steel - toed boots . the taste and weight of his cock in its mouth , however - now , that was seared into its mind despite the wipes . it could recognize that feeling anywhere .

the soldier makes quick work of its orders , leaning forward and taking more . eyes fluttering shut , it makes a desperate noise - halfway between a moan and a whine - deep in its throat . tears of relief coat its heavy lashes , this hunger inside it both satiated but growing all at once .

taking in a deep breath , it traces the length from base to tip in kitten licks , just the way it knows the commander likes . then , all at once , the asset takes it whole , expertly swallowing around the other’s cock like a well - trained whore .

@snipersights is begging “Please, don’t. Please, don’t leave.”

Brock did little but glance the Soldier’s way, roughly dragging the zipper of his gear bag closed. “It’s not your choice.” He grunted, pulling on his tac-vest. “You don’t fucking get choices.” And, frankly, even if the Soldier did— Brock still wouldn’t give a shit. It wasn’t his call to make.

But it wasn’t Brock’s either- Not this time. He was being summoned out to some dumbass location in a town he’d not even heard the name of. Covert- Fucking stupid. He’d never been one to be covert.

“Look, it’s only gonna be a few days. Gutierrez ain’t that bad, he’ll probably be checkin’ in on you once or twice. Might even remember to feed ya’.” Rumlow laughed to himself.

He fiddled with the buckles and straps, looking the Soldier over for a moment before huffing— Turning back to him with a quiet sigh. “C’mon,” He murmured, taking the Soldier under the jaw with one hand, lightly running his thumb down his cheek. “Big strong murder machine an’ you’re too fuckin’ scared to be on your own? Christ-“ Beck gave the Soldier’s face a soft pat, “Hell, maybe I’ll push the idea. Who knows? Y’might be useful-“ As stress-relief or otherwise.

“Or maybe leavin’ your ass here would teach you a thing or two about being self-fuckin’-reliant.” Or it would make the Soldier that much more compliant. Brock weighed his options, still holding onto the Soldier, humming softly.

“What do you think, sweetheart?”

[snipersights]

which ao3 tag are you?

tagged by @zemothethirteenth ( tysm ! )

dead dove

you know exactly who you are and everyone who meets you knows exactly what they're getting into (because you've been burned before and feel the need to scare people away with your bluntness)

tagging : @skullsandsteel , @kingcrossbones ( if you want + anyone else ! )

[snipersights]

Rollins had an artistic streak that ran near as deep as his sadistic one, though he rarely got to flex the two skills as one— Unless he was working on the Asset; a canvas that healed, and didn’t really scar— and looked up at him with it’s big dumb doe eyes and thanked him as he attempted to detail wings into its back for— Jack didn’t even know how long that had taken him...

[snipersights]

the desire to be the kicked dog may not be so much about the kicking but its significance, i.e. that i serve any necessary function to my owner no matter how cruel and cathartic, and that i am thus an indispensable treasure either in my inability to break or my ability to break and yet perpetually return at the sound of your call. in this way you may absolve yourself of the violence you commit by reimagining it not just as merciful, but as productive; if i am the kicked dog, then you create me and give me life through violence, with the act of kicking not a destruction so much as a form of birth. anyways it's fine. put the boots on

[snipersights]

bullying the traumatized

we don't wear kiddy gloves here.

"Who told you it wasn't that bad?"

"Who told you that?"

"I'll fight anyone who says otherwise."

"Yeah, well, news flash: it fucked you up. I can tell."

"It's okay to have shit that fucks you up, you know."

"Ohhhh noooo, you're feeling an emotion."

"God forbid something hurts and you do something about it."

"That's trauma for you."

"Get angry about it."

"I don't know. I expected you to feel something."

"In case it escaped your notice, I care about you!"

"Do you have a death wish?"

"And you decided you were going to stoically suffer in silence and not tell anyone?"

"Got some 'main character syndrome' in you, huh?"

"We're meant to be a team!"

"Then they can go to hell! They don't tell us what we're capable of."

"I'm going to try. I don't care whether you're gonna try with me but I hope you do."

"We've seen worse odds."

"What did you expect? Me to stand there and do nothing?"

"Oh, you have trauma? I didn't notice."

"Oh, grow! Up!"

[snipersights]

Belligerent Sexual Tension starters

"Why do you always have to be so aggravating?" "Maybe because it's the only way to get your attention!" "Ugh, why do I even bother talking to you?" "Because deep down, you know you love it." "You're impossible!" "And yet, here you are, still talking to me." "I can't believe you said that!" "I can't believe you're still surprised by anything I say." "You drive me crazy!" "Good, at least I'm driving you somewhere." "Why do we always end up arguing?" "Because it's the only way to keep things interesting." "I swear, you're like a magnet for trouble." "And you're like a moth to a flame." "I can't stand you." "Yet, here you are, standing right next to me." "You're such a pain!" "But admit it, life would be boring without me." "You make me want to scream." "Go ahead, I'll just kiss you to shut you up."

[GRAB] the receiver's collar as they pull them into a heated argument. [PUSH] the receiver against a wall during a heated debate. [YANK] the receiver by the arm and storm away angrily. [PIN] the receiver against a table, leaning in closely to make a point. [SHOVE] the receiver playfully during a teasing exchange. [GLARE] at the receiver with narrowed eyes, challenging them to respond. [PROVOKE] the receiver by bringing up a sensitive topic.

[snipersights]

the drag of jagged nails through its sensitive scalp earns the handler a noise close to a purr , deep from the asset’s chest , as it enjoys the gentle contact . it is so lucky , so fortunate that its commander would give the soldier this much of his attention , of his time . HYDRA’s missions are challenging and necessary , and it is almost a conflict to its programming , something it should be wiped for , to be on the receiving end of this .

of course , the soldier thinks none of this - blank minded and willing - as it allows its head to be tipped back . there’s something akin to adoration in its eyes , peering up through its lashes as its lips part easily for the commander . it doesn’t take much for the man to wedge his thumb in the asset’s mouth , and it accepts the intrusion with gratitude , mouth wet and plush for the other to do what he will .

commander rumlow is right . there is nothing else it can exist for . while HYDRA was meant to come first , the soldier’s handler was one of its main priorities , and following his interests was paramount . the asset wanted , needed to be useful , to be used if that was what was expected . and the commander had been so good to it , so kind - not like the garbled amount of handlers before him , that sought to torture the asset into submission .

the zipper was a pavlovian cue , spit filling its mouth as its gaze lingers on its handler’s face . it would beg more , if asked , but it was given a different task now . all it had to do was listen and follow .

its mouth falls open further , awaiting orders - though the warmth deep in its gut spreading between its thighs already knew .

@snipersights is begging “Please, don’t. Please, don’t leave.”

Brock did little but glance the Soldier’s way, roughly dragging the zipper of his gear bag closed. “It’s not your choice.” He grunted, pulling on his tac-vest. “You don’t fucking get choices.” And, frankly, even if the Soldier did— Brock still wouldn’t give a shit. It wasn’t his call to make.

But it wasn’t Brock’s either- Not this time. He was being summoned out to some dumbass location in a town he’d not even heard the name of. Covert- Fucking stupid. He’d never been one to be covert.

“Look, it’s only gonna be a few days. Gutierrez ain’t that bad, he’ll probably be checkin’ in on you once or twice. Might even remember to feed ya’.” Rumlow laughed to himself.

He fiddled with the buckles and straps, looking the Soldier over for a moment before huffing— Turning back to him with a quiet sigh. “C’mon,” He murmured, taking the Soldier under the jaw with one hand, lightly running his thumb down his cheek. “Big strong murder machine an’ you’re too fuckin’ scared to be on your own? Christ-“ Beck gave the Soldier’s face a soft pat, “Hell, maybe I’ll push the idea. Who knows? Y’might be useful-“ As stress-relief or otherwise.

“Or maybe leavin’ your ass here would teach you a thing or two about being self-fuckin’-reliant.” Or it would make the Soldier that much more compliant. Brock weighed his options, still holding onto the Soldier, humming softly.

“What do you think, sweetheart?”

[snipersights]

the soldier , despite not being aware exactly how long the mark would be absent , knows it is on borrowed time . his destination could be just minutes away - and it knew that all exit points had to be considered .

it was fortunate that there was a window , the very one that it had been surveying the blond man through all this time . if needed , it could scale down the building that way , although it was not ideal and could leave witnesses . there were always benefits and risks to consider , and while the soldier had limited decision - making capacity , it was given more lax reign on the field . in this case , almost free reign .

the asset accounts for time in and out , confident in its ability to complete its task . it’s done so many times before , and never been unsuccessful . there was just something it hadn’t anticipated , something that stopped it dead in its tracks .

a picture .

framed and set on the wall above a simple desk , it first fixes its gaze on the mark . smiling , happy , with hope in his eyes and a slightly crooked smile . this is not uncommon . most pictures it had seen were like this . it’s the face beside the mark that jars him , bringing back that dull , persistent throb .

it looked like … ████████ . but it couldn’t be .

in its stupor , it barely registers the entrance - eyes widening as it reaches for its sidearm first . the safety comes off and its finger finds the trigger like a cat’s reflex , but it does not shoot . not yet . not now .

it will have to decode its reasoning for hesitation later .

the question earns no response , blank blue - grey eyes finding the mark’s . he was poised for self defense , at the ready to attack the asset if needed .

good choice . something within its mind thinks .

@theprice-cffreedcm

the air clears and the once piercing headache begins to fade into a dull throb .

catching itself in its disoriented state , the winter soldier gets to its feet before its vision clears, a metallic taste in his mouth as it tries to get a bearing of its surroundings. the location and time period seemed accurate to description , from briefings and visuals given by its handlers and superior . though the asset cannot remember it from personal experience , this place looked to be in the 1940s , and it certainly looked like america .

there was a strange stir in its gut , something it cannot identify . it does not dwell on the sensation and remembers its orders .

" you are to keep eyes on this apartment in brooklyn - and to report observations about the single target within before proceeding with elimination . "

despite its level of skill and expertise , all of this was out of the asset's realm of familiarity . it had gone on missions independently before , but they had all been short-lived and check-ins were frequent. time travelling to the past and having no contact with any and all agents was … different .

without hesitating a moment more , it gathers itself to survey the area . the sun is just setting - dusty pink painted across the city's smokey skyline . this is satisfactory . the cover of night that would soon arrive would greatly benefit the asset's set up . cross - referencing the visuals , the soldier also finds that the machine placed it at the building directly opposite from the mark's location . it lays low , finding the back alley tucked beside it and begins to scale the roughened brick wall .

settled on top of the brownstone structure , the asset unpacks its sniper and begins to survey the apartment through its sight .

[snipersights]

despite the handler’s words , the asset still hesitates - for just a microsecond - before doing as told . the nature of the instructions were just out of the norm , but once it figures how to use a knife and a fork , it sets itself to work . hunger and satiation were complicated concepts …

concepts that would have to be relearned , if this was how its handler wanted things to be run . it continues methodically - slicing up all the pieces before delivering them one by one . in its limited opinion , the sooner the task could be completed , the better - and there was much to go over after . briefings often took at least an hour of time , but the asset has a feeling this might be longer than usual .

it narrowly avoids choking on the last bits of vegetables , setting the plate and cutlery aside before looking back to its handler expectantly . there was a dull ache in its abdomen - perhaps its body getting used to this much food all at once . it goes unreported for now , but the soldier keeps it in mind , should it be relevant later .

there’s a quiet pause where cook returns to clear out empty plates and the remainder of the food . nothing went to waste at the siberian facility , and this would most likely be repurposed or given to a different agent later .

the asset repositions itself , almost antsy with anticipation .

Combat Diplomacy || @snipersights

It took him more time than he would've liked to admit to anyone. He had his in with HYDRA through his parents, and given that it was believed he had no idea what had happened to his wife and son perhaps they expected he would behave and stay in line.

He played his part, the same as he ever had. A doting son determined to follow in his father's footsteps. He was no stranger to playing pretend, and even when he'd been given access to the asset, it had meant little to him.

At first.

To begin with, Zemo found the notion of directing the asset more of a nuisance than anything. By having the asset on hand, he felt watched as much as anything else. It was unnerving.

One might've thought that growing up with nannies and groundskeepers and a butler might've prepared him for having an eternally watchful eye on him, but the asset was an entirely different beast, and Zemo was as cautious about making certain he saw only precisely what he was meant to see.

It had been a couple of days, and he hadn't bothered to deal with the new status quo much, but as he was sitting to eat he turned his attention on the asset with a long look of assessment.

"Do you eat?"

[snipersights]

Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.

[snipersights]

the asset's gaze settles on the chair when directed , and it takes a seat opposite to its handler . this was , again , different . a seat at the table , and a request to nourish itself . nonetheless , it obliges . the soldier has had more confusing and challenging orders to follow anyway .

the plate now stacked with cook's menu for lunch sits opposite it on the table , and the soldier's stomach expresses its yearning for it . this rarely happens , and when it does , there were typically few around to notice . it hopes that its handler will not mind the involuntary noise .

it listens to the further explanation , nodding briefly at the end . the mission had been vague but ordinary , and the parameters for its activation were the part that stood out the most . it cannot recall the last time it had been asked to be out of cryofreeze for longer than a week , or when it had been tasked to be away from technicians for that long . being able to independently voice its needs and challenges would prove to be its own unique hurdle , but it figures if it can address everything during status reports , it may not have to do so . " understood , ser . " it responds , unquestioning .

Combat Diplomacy || @snipersights

It took him more time than he would've liked to admit to anyone. He had his in with HYDRA through his parents, and given that it was believed he had no idea what had happened to his wife and son perhaps they expected he would behave and stay in line.

He played his part, the same as he ever had. A doting son determined to follow in his father's footsteps. He was no stranger to playing pretend, and even when he'd been given access to the asset, it had meant little to him.

At first.

To begin with, Zemo found the notion of directing the asset more of a nuisance than anything. By having the asset on hand, he felt watched as much as anything else. It was unnerving.

One might've thought that growing up with nannies and groundskeepers and a butler might've prepared him for having an eternally watchful eye on him, but the asset was an entirely different beast, and Zemo was as cautious about making certain he saw only precisely what he was meant to see.

It had been a couple of days, and he hadn't bothered to deal with the new status quo much, but as he was sitting to eat he turned his attention on the asset with a long look of assessment.

"Do you eat?"

[snipersights]

every instinct in bucky was screaming at him at once . a loud , confusing cacophony of thoughts , not unlike how the chair felt , none of them coherent enough to make a lick of sense . still , he remained rooted to the ground , as if rumlow had cast some sort of otherworldly spell on him .

the silence is heavy , suffocating almost . he wonders what brock was thinking , how he was sizing him up , if there was any cause for vengeance in his heart against him . did he feel betrayed by bucky's redemption ? did he care for where he went after ? did he laugh when he heard news of steve's disappearance ? relish in the misery only both of them would understand now ?

when the other man speaks again , the response is expectedly smug . it was all snark , sarcasm and wit with the former commander , and bucky should have prepared for this . all it did was cause him to unravel further , and he notices the way his breath quickens now , shallow and uneven .

fuck . fuck .

his government - assigned therapist is miles and miles across the ocean - not that she would be any help - but her words persistently echo in his head . a reprimand , a consequence , a reminder - of just how far from redemption he was , just how hollow his sentiments had been . how everyone had been right about him , and how an old dog can't learn new tricks . he should be locked up , he should be dispatched for his own safety , he sho-

bucky's gaze snaps back to the other man , fixed on his features . the touch against his jaw , stopping the spiral in its tracks . there was that sweet reprieve from himself , the thoughts that HYDRA had told him for years that he wasn't equipped to deal with . maybe they were right . maybe he couldn't be trusted with himself . the way rumlow calms and grounds him should be testament to that .

he sucks in a shaky breath , this song and dance painfully familiar . the commander - no , rumlow - had done this many times before . before cryofreeze and right after , post - a mission gone bad , on difficult nights . it had always worked , even when the asset had torn through multiple techs in an act of lashing out , or could barely stay steady from how bad it was shaking . of course it wouldn't be any different .

it felt like home .

bucky doesn't trust himself to talk , but he knows he must . there's enough rational thought in him to tell him they needed to get out of the public eye . so he reluctantly tears away from the other's hand first , shifting his gaze to the pillar behind rumlow so he can keep himself together .

" can we go someplace private ? i ... don't think being out here like this is a good idea . " he finally admits , letting out the breath he was holding . fingers crossed , rumlow will agree .

@kingcrossbones

bucky had heard about madripoor . it was a lawless land where most criminals and villains alike were protected by their lack of extradition laws . the details of the place are fuzzy , like a dream he can't quite grasp now .

when his informant had brought it up , he feels he's heard it someplace before - in memories he'd rather not touch nor glean . the winter soldier must have known more about it , judging by the familiarity . bucky has to remind himself those days are over . it was something he had told dr. raynor , the agents involved in his case , but it was really more for himself . he had worked so hard to make amends . he'd done the work . he'd gone to all his mandatory therapy sessions . he answered all of their questions. " yes , i no longer have violent thoughts . "

" no , i don't have nightmares . "

after everything , bucky should be content . he has a second shot at a life he never thought he'd survive to see . they had set him up in an apartment in brooklyn . he'd picked up a stray cat and named her alpine .

on some days , he goes to the local bar that used to be a laundromat back in the day . on others , he stays home . during these days , he tries not to think about steve rogers , tries not to imagine what life he lived with peggy carter , tries not to hold his late best friend to a forgotten promise he made years and years ago .

people tell him steve deserved to be happy . where those words fell , bucky only saw how he failed to deliver that joy to his lifelong companion . he saw all his shortcomings , his mistakes - the way he had been cobbled back together after project insight had gone to shit .

of course , he'd left . anyone would have , given the choice .

most days , bucky wishes the nagging voice in the back of his head would just shut the hell up .

the voice , however , is the least of the former assassin's worries . what he is and should be concerned about are the urges . a few months back , he'd tried his hand at a date . it had been leah's idea , the brunette server at izzy with the kind eyes . she'd set him up with a friend of hers . bucky was rusty , but he recalls the motions enough to get through .

when they return to his place , he's alarmed when everything is painfully soft . there's too little of everything , not enough pain to justify the pleasure . all the while , a different voice sits in the back of his head , almost taunting him for trying . bucky returns the kisses , but they sit in awkward silence the rest of the night . he blocks her number and never calls again .

in time , bucky realizes normalcy is something he can never achieve . it is just not something that people like him deserve , not where they belong . the isolation is gnawing , and the revelations immense .

bucky has no one . nothing . no place to belong . sam could care less , and so could the world . why try so hard to work at something for no audience and no purpose ?

it's three parts desperation and one part resentment that finally drags him to the sweltering southeast asian heat . brock rumlow's file was stowed away in his backpack , alongside bare essentials . his best kept secret , one that no one knew he held onto - his last handler , and the one he remembered all too well . the enhanced couldn't explain all the 'why's for his decision , but he knew he wanted answers to questions he couldn't even fathom .

his emptiness convinces him that rumlow would have the answers .

the former commander's sidearm sits heavy against bucky's hip as he wanders into the crowded bar . he scans the ragtag crowd , before his gaze falls on the familiar silhouette .

his whole world tilts .

[snipersights]

Injuries, Old and New Prompts

(Prompts for scenarios for injured muses. Add "+ 🔄" or "+ reverse" to reverse the scenario!)

😴 My muse wakes up in the middle of the night to find your muse injured in their living room

👊 My muse gets hurt during a fight

🔍 Your muse spots an old injury belonging to my muse that they didn't know about before

🩹 Your muse takes care of my muse after a bad injury

🔓 My muse reveals a hidden injury to your muse

🛡️ My muse gets hurt while trying to protect your muse

😑 My muse accidentally hurts themselves while doing something mundane

🤫 My muse tries to hide an injury from your muse

💔 My muse sees your muse getting hurt but is unable to stop it

🧳 My muse has been away for a while and returns with a mysterious injury

🙈 Your muse helps my muse to hide an injury

🕒 My muse is still affected by an old injury and they need your muse to help them

💭 My muse's opinion on something changes after getting hurt

🎭 My muse pretends to be injured for a specific reason

😖 My muse feels guilty after accidentally hurting your muse

💫 My muse has temporary memory loss after an injury

😤 My muse complains about a small, inconsequential injury to your muse