snitchp3rcy
Percy's World
I want everything to be simple yet satisfying...
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I Didn’t Choose To Fall In Love With You, It Just Happened
The word ‘Choice’ is described in the dictionary as an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more opportunities. You see we as humans make choices everyday, from the choice of waking up or staying in bed 10 minutes longer to the choice of whether or not to message that one boy first. Life is made up of so many choices, from the small insignificant ones to the ones that take weeks to decide on. We make choices and in turn I believe choices make us. Although I believe all this to be true there comes a crucial time in every one of our lives where for a small, simple moment we don’t get to make any decisions or choices. We don’t get to decide and we certainly don’t get a say in what happens. Its as if we don’t even realize its happening and all of sudden you just know, this moment I’m talking about, is the moment you fall in love with someone. Falling in love with you was not a choice. It just happened. Too often people think we pick who we love and it goes from there. This is the furthest thing from the truth. Love chooses us. For me I just woke up one day and realized it was you. It had been you for a long time. I woke up and realized that if I could have you by my side everyday for the rest of time I’d be the luckiest person in the world. Loving someone comes with the risk of knowing that they can completely destroy you, but you take the chance anyway. Feeling more hope than fear. That’s what love really is, a hope and faith within someone other than yourself. Love is not understanding what you’re feeling because there isn’t a word in the English dictionary to describe what you feel. Love is reckless. Love is a hurricane. Love is also calm. Love is also peace. Love is also comfortable. Love is being able to put their happiness before yours. Love is being able to accept their flaws. Love is confusing. Love is difficult. Love is risky. But love above anything else has got to be the most wonderful, extraordinary and beautiful thing about this life. I am in love with you. I did not choose to fall in love with you. It simply happened.
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I Wish You Felt The Same Way
You walked away from me once again. You didn’t look my direction and just continue to go on your own path, paying me no mind. As if I didn’t just say good morning to you, as if we never joked around together, as if I have never made you laugh, as if we’ve never met. Usually, I’d wonder and make up scenarios in my head as to why you act the way you do. But today was different. I watched you walked away knowing full well I do mean nothing to you. I watched you walked away with no hope because I know all if it has died with every step that you took. But then a new hope arises. A new hope that I can start new, putting everything behind, learn from this experience and start living my life. I didn’t want it to end but that peaceful, non-stomach clenching feeling as I watched you walked away assures me that everything will be ok. The storm has passed and I am ready than ever to move on. I have a wonderful support system, a family that loves me, friends who always have my back and I am so thankful for all of this. I wish it would have worked. I wish that somehow my feelings would be reciprocated and we could write our own story. I wish our feelings were mutual and despite the struggle it’ll bring the both of us, we’d fight them head on together. I wish you’d love me the way I love you. But you didn’t and there is nothing I can do to change that. It sucks but you can’t force a lion to love a horse. You’re attracted to a different kind of person and not me. There was beauty in the struggle, however. I didn’t lose myself along the way and didn’t try to mold in to someone else that I’m not just to pleased you. My sense of self-worth has never been so high. My confidence stands strong knowing that there is nothing wrong with who I am just because my piece of the puzzle doesn’t fit with yours. I was fine before I met you and I will be fine again. On to the next adventure life will brings me.
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I still...
This is my second chance, but still, I couldn’t say it…
I’ve known you for roughly a year, yet there are lots of things that I still don’t know about you, and that I guess is one of the factors that I like you. We’ve been going out , getting to know each other, I can still remember the first time that I went out with you, I really had a great time. Listening to music, taking pictures, walking around, talking, eating, and I was really skeptical introducing you to my long time friends. I didn’t expect that I will enjoy that much, but I really did have a great time, despite the weather and fatigue. It felt like it all started there, I started to be interested, and want to know you more. I can still remember messaging you day and night , before and after shift. I also remember asking you to eat out after shift and even waiting for you, so that we can go together for the company party. I didn’t expect that you would say yes, but you did. At that time I am sure, that I like you, though I have to hide it. Since one of our friends , really like you, even though he won’t admit it to you. You and him were a team icon, and I am afraid to break that. Though he didn’t pursue you. He had his chance. Anyway, On our way to the party, we went to a cafe to chill out since the party has not started, I can still remember the “barista” thought my name was “Mercy” or probably she thought it was for you, and your name “paul” was for me. Lol. Then after a nice talk we went straight to the party, so at the party it was kinda awkward, I wanna stay by your side, but I don’t want anyone to notice. All I did was look at you, stare at you when you are not looking. And damn sometimes I’m slapping myself. After the party, i thought you went out with another team, and to my surprise, you were still there. And yeah I got excited , even though I have a shift in the morning. So we went to a Bar, and I remember I asked you if you want to tag along on your way home, I was thinking of accompanying you until you get home, though you wanted to stay which was understandable. So I sent you my goodnight message and take care message before I slept, and closed my eyes, after an hour of sleep , my phone rang, and to my surprise, it was you. Though you dropped the call, and I was alarmed I thought something bad happened to you. I kept calling you until you answered. And you told me that you were trying to call your dad, and just mistakenly dialed my number. And thanks to you, I only had an hour sleep before I work. Lol. Those little things really mattered to me.. And it was not long before I asked you out, to watch a movie. Though you rejected me. Lol. But for me that was fine, I just wanted to see you before I go out of town. I believe we didn’t talk for days then one night, while you where on an out of town vacation, with the team you’ve sent me a message, letting me know that you guys have reached you destination. And we started talking again, through chat. And days goes by, there was a time that we stopped messaging each other, it felt that I was being avoided and you didn’t feel comfortable anymore. So I thought maybe that you are drawing a fine line between us. So I just go with it and moved on. All those attention, was diverted to someone else, god knows how much We talk about you and even our other friend. So she was like sweet to me and all, and it’s just that all those feelings got channeled to her. Unfortunately, it was too late when I confessed. Moving on, weeks or months passed by, we became close again, which was really unexpected, and all those feelings went back, though it was not as same as before. I dunno, you are reaallllyyy harrrdd to read. I can feel the care and the excitement everytime we talk, which was the same as before. Now, I am in a pinch, you are close with Another girl which was previously being paired to me.. If she founds out that I like you, I am thinking that we might be broken as a team. I didn’t want that, I can’t do it… and didn’t want to be selfish.
That is why I still couldn’t say it
But I will say it now
I really like you, I couldn’t stop thinking about you everyday, the more I don’t talk to you, the more I miss you and the more this feelings grow
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