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i fucking love reactions in texting apps like discord. theyve revolutionized how i communicate. i can put a bug on your message

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Today I was playing a pokemon movie for my twins and Darkrai appeared and I said, “Look Luke! It’s Darkrai.” And he said “Darai!” The double take I did. This boy turned a year old yesterday and I’ve been trying for months to get him to say mama and he sees Darkrai once and betrays me.

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Good news for you, this August 23rd.

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i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

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when you’ve honed the fine art of perfectly-timed reblogging of something aimed at one specific mutual and they immediately like it

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The two most culturally important things from the past few years are Friday by Rebecca Black because we learned we like hating things more than we like liking them and Cookie Clicker cause we figured out the only reason people play video games is to watch the numbers go up and since then we’ve just been applying those lessons to new and better incarnations of those two things.

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this was the only way to guarantee your kid grew up indie

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pistachios are a classic "two bowls" kind of snack

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why are we here

to play the nintendo ds

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The kindergarten-ification of society

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social media sites should let you add custom buttons on your profile. like maybe you get max 3 buttons and they can have whatever text you want. and each button has its own persistent counter for how many times it's been clicked. here's some concept art

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i cant play horror games man fuck what if i turn the corner and see a thing or something

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my potion #MyPotion