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[snoroscopes]

[snoroscopes]

The Signs in 2016

Meets their soulmate: Cancer, Libra, Pisces

Meets their favorite band/artist: Leo, Aquarius

Meets Satan: Taurus, Gemini, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Meets God: Virgo, Aries, Scorpio

[snoroscopes]

THE TWELVE DAYS OF THE ZODIAC SIGNS

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY ARIES GAVE TO ME

A cherry bomb on my doorstep.

ON THE SECOND DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY TAURUS GAVE TO ME

Two nasty glares and one stubborn streak.

ON THE THIRD DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY GEMINI GAVE TO ME

Three (hundred) open tabs, two chemical experiments, and one debate.

ON THE FOURTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY CANCER GAVE TO ME

Four empty boxes of tissues, three boxes of cookies, two personalities, and one I Heart Mom tattoo.

ON THE FIFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY LEO GAVE TO ME

Five temper tantrums, four purrs, three whines, two cuddles, and one big argument.

ON THE SIXTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY VIRGO GAVE TO ME

Six cleaning wipes, five nags, four diet plans, three bottles of bleach, two garbage bags, and one toilet scrubber.

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY LIBRA GAVE TO ME

Seven changed minds, six bathroom breaks, five credit card bills, four designer brands, three drunk texts, two lovers, and one broken heart.

ON THE EIGHTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY SCORPIO GAVE TO ME

Eight death threats, seven pocket knives, six questionable website links, five craigslist ads, four disposable phones, three encryption codes, two broken bones, and one wild night.

ON THE NINTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY SAGITTARIUS GAVE TO ME

Nine spider species, eight drunken stupors, seven bank robberies, six albums of The Doors, five philosophical quotes, four arsons, three existential crises, two tears, and one stupid smile.

ON THE TENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY CAPRICORN GAVE TO ME

Ten to-do lists, nine screams, eight coupons, seven chores, six bouts of passive aggressiveness, five silent treatments, four sarcastic remarks, three sneers, two eye rolls, and one migraine

ON THE ELEVENTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY AQUARIUS GAVE TO ME

Eleven conspiracy theories, ten questionable tattoos, nine mind games, eight robotic expressions, seven fake feelings, six unfinished projects, five invention ideas, four lab coats, three feelings, two cryptic texts, and one brutally honest statement.

ON THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY PISCES GAVE TO ME

Twelve prescription drugs, eleven glitter bottles, ten personal issues, nine booty calls, eight dead plants, seven knitted blankets, six odd fantasies, five “it’s not my fault!”, four stolen necklaces, three therapists, two art projects, and one true friend.

[snoroscopes]

Venus Signs

Aries

Believes love should happen at first sight; likes independent, go-getters; enjoys chasing and being chased

Arguing and friendly competition is an aphrodisiac

Attracts love by inspiring/encouraging suitors to pursue and “win” her/him

Flirts by teasing and picking fights; 

Wants to be #1 in the relationship (and in her/his partner’s life) or will lose interest quickly

Taurus

Believes love should come after a lot of long-term consideration; likes (and is impressed by) wealthy people

Rich, comfort foods, receiving massages, listening to music, and fragrances that smell like something edible (mmm vanilla!) are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being emotionally stable and having consistent habits

Flirts by providing physical comfort

Wants to feel secure in relationships and “know where this is going”

Gemini

Believes love should mean never having to say, “I’m bored”; likes quotable, multifaceted people who have lots of diverse interests

Verbal/written expressions of love are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being infinitely entertaining

Flirts by sharing thoughts & feelings and assigning pet names

Wants 24/7 communication accessibility in relationships; variety, unpredictability

Cancer

Believes love should be nurturing; likes people who need mothering (or who are mothering) and are appreciative of her efforts

Emotional bonding and cuddling are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by making people feel cozy and sheltered; 

Flirts by feeding and/or cooking for someone, remembering preferences, giving thoughtful tokens of affection

Wants interdependence in relationships

Leo

Believes love should ALWAYS consist of romance, drama, fun, and loyalty; likes people who stand out in socially acceptable ways 

Receiving awe-inspiring gifts and positive, focused attention from an audience are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by playing up strengths and downplaying weaknesses, and inspiring chivalry

Flirts by complimenting

Wants emotionally-moving displays of appreciation and gratitude in relationships

Virgo

Believes love should involve making a commitment to take care of someone else; likes hard-workers who pay attention to details (conversely, is also attracted to flawed, disorganized partners that need fixing)

good hygiene, a neat appearance, and an orderly environment are aphrodisiacs 

Attracts love by handling all of the “dirty work” in a partner’s life

Flirts by making analytical observations, self-deprecating humor, or offering self-improvement advice

Wants to feel needed and useful in relationships

Libra

Believes love should = 50/50 partnership + 24/7 romance; likes attractive, intelligent, and sociable people

The usual romantic clichés (such as rose petals on the bed and long, moonlit walks on the beach) are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being charming company, understanding and attentive

Flirts indiscriminately for attention and popularity

Wants equality, romance, and lots of attention in relationships; beauty, making plans as a couple 

Scorpio

Believes love should be passionate, intense, and life-altering; likes to associate with powerful people whose sexuality comes in contradictory layers

A strong sex drive, instant chemistry, intensity, and loyalty are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by keeping a mate’s secrets, developing an emotional bond, and not wanting to share the partner’s affection

Flirts through seduction

Wants to have control and trust in a relationship

Sagittarius

Believes love should bring happiness, great times, and good luck; likes outgoing, intelligent, independent, adventurous people

Visiting exotic places, meeting foreign people, exploring foreign cultures, and different accents are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being friendly, fun-loving, generous, and free-spirited

Flirts through friendly conversation and making someone laugh

Wants freedom, honesty, few expectations, and undefined commitment in a relationship

Capricorn

Believes love should make people keep their word; likes responsible, successful people who can help with achieving aspirations

Knowing what’s coming next is an aphrodisiac

Attracts love by being dependable and loyal; shows affection by honoring commitments and not leaving the relationship; 

Flirts by getting straight to the point, assessing a potential mate’s value, and showing off their dry wit as they feel more comfortable

Wants a solid commitment from the right person in relationships

Aquarius

Believes love should be dessert with friendship as the main entrée; likes free-spirited, eccentric people who aren’t afraid to go against the status quo

Discussing new, inventive ways to have sex is an aphrodisiac

Attracts love by being friendly to everyone

Flirts by sharing unusual ideas and opinions

Wants a best friend, intellectually stimulating company and emotional detachment in relationships

Pisces

Believes love should be a perfect blend of an intuitive, spiritual bond and romance; likes nonjudgmental, creative people who think and communicate in imaginative ways

Dreamy kisses that cause tingles, foot massages, bubble baths, and mind-altering substances or practices are aphrodisiacs

Attracts love by being infinitely compassionate and seeing the best in people

Flirts by developing and acknowledging a special connection

Wants empathy, kindness, and sensitivity in relationships

[snoroscopes]

Nice Things About The Signs

Aries- looks like summer nights, is the literal embodiement of a beach

Taurus- big doe eyes and smells like a bakery

Gemini- good hugs, very touchy but not annoying

Cancer- just wants to have fun with you, is down for whatever as long as they’re near you

Leo- v smol it doesn’t matter if you’re 6'5, you are a cat

Virgo- motherly, so helpful and sweet

Libra- great hair, very silky

Scorpio- when they open up, you know they’re in it for the long run, very loyal

Sagittarius- knows how to make someone laugh, meme lover

Capricorn- smells like sunflowers, extrovert

Aquarius- wants you to tag along on adventures, won’t think you’re weird at all

Pisces- loves you like a kid loves their parent, needy but not in a bad way

[snoroscopes]

Why You'd Fall For Them...

Aries: they are strong willed and badass. They walk with their heads held high, make you think they don't need you but God, do you need them.

Taurus: their sincere personality makes them irresistible. All they want is to cuddle on the couch, eat snacks and watch Netflix. Who could argue with that?

Gemini: they have a wild fire in their eyes. Charming and addictive, they'll leave you always wanting more.

Cancer: they'll always have your back. They're nurturing and promising and you will never want them to leave your side.

Leo: faithful and fun. They're like a breath of fresh air. They're always fun to have around and make it easy to open up to them.

Virgo: helps you be a better you. They'll shape you right up into the person you want to be, and support you throughout the entire ride.

Libra: you'll love how laid back a Libra is. They don't argue, they don't fuss, they just want to have a good time with you. If you give them what they want, they'll give you what you want.

Scorpio: an honest relationship. A Scorpio will let you know from day one what they're looking for and you'll want to be all of it and more. They're sexy and courageous, the kind of people you only dreamt about.

Sagittarius: Wild and care-free. It's only sunshine even on the darkest days. Their light rips through their pores and attaches on to you, you'll always be in a good mood with them around.

Capricorn: the ideal marriage partner. Faithful, smart, sophisticated, clean. You'll want to take a Cap home to mom.

Aquarius: down for anything. If you're always on the go or just need someone to talk to, Aquarius can handle the job. They never want to see you sad.

Pisces: their deep personality keeps you intrigued. They're so dimensional, you'll find out something new everyday.

[snoroscopes]

the jupiter signs

you go to your jupiter sign when you want to know how lucky you’re gonna be today or any day of the week, it can also be used in basic horoscopes located on astrology websites and magazines 

aries: your luckiest days are tuesday and friday

taurus: your luckiest days are friday and thursday

gemini: your luckiest days are wednesday and sunday

cancer: your luckiest days are monday and wednesday

leo: your luckiest days are sunday and thursday

virgo: your luckiest days are wednesday and friday

libra: your luckiest days are friday and sunday

scorpio: your luckiest days are tuesday and wednesday

sagittarius: your luckiest days are thursday and tuesday

capricorn: your luckiest days are saturday and monday

aquarius: your luckiest days are saturday and tuesday

pisces: your luckiest days are thursday and monday

(bolded days are days that sign rules)

[snoroscopes]

how to tell the signs like you and how to seduce them (in depth) masterpost

all posts here were written by the lovely mindofataurus​ and I’d like to give her a big shoutout for giving me permission to make this masterpost!!

*you can use moon or Venus too

Signs each sign likes you

signs an Aries likes you

signs a Taurus likes you

signs a Gemini likes you

signs a Cancer likes you

signs a Leo likes you

signs a Virgo likes you

signs a Libra likes you

signs a Scorpio likes you

signs a Sagittarius likes you

signs a Capricorn likes you

signs an Aquarius likes you

signs a Pisces likes you

How to seduce each sign

how to seduce an Aries

how to seduce a Taurus

how to seduce a Gemini

how to seduce a Cancer

how to seduce a Leo

how to seduce a Virgo

how to seduce a Libra

how to seduce a Scorpio

how to seduce a Sagittarius

how to seduce a Capricorn

how to seduce an Aquarius

how to seduce a Pisces

[snoroscopes]

signs as booties

aries: hot booty

taurus: rounded booty

gemini: flat booty

cancer: saggy booty

leo: booty queen

virgo: what booty?

libra: angel booty

scorpio: shiny booty

sagittarius: horse butt

capricorn: non-toilet-flushin booty

aquarius: booty god

pisces: jelly booty

[snoroscopes]

@all astro blogs! reblog this

i’m only following 243 people right now I need more so reblog this if you’re an astrology blog 

[snoroscopes]

THE SIGNS AS STAGES OF LIFE

Aries: Conception, in the womb. New beginnings, ready to face the world and begin a new adventure.

Taurus: Newborn, taking everything in. Using the five senses, taking everything in, making a mental note of everything. Foundation for everything else.

Gemini: Toddler, questioning everything. Learning, exploring, interacting with others. Mercurial moods, fearless.

Cancer: Child, submissive behavior sets in and begins respecting authority. Begins developing feelings of nurturing and caring.

Leo: Teenager, bossy and dramatic. First time expressing themselves. Exploring and creating themselves as an individual. Begins feeling attraction towards others.

Virgo: College Graduate, independent and afraid. Spends a lot of time alone trying to make a life for themselves. Working hard, late nights, and sweaty palms.

Libra: Young Adult, in love and vulnerable. Trying to please their lover, scared of being alone. Compromised and flexible, quick to bend over backwards for anyone. Innocence.

Scorpio: Married Adult, innocence lost. Disillusioned and emotional, plenty of transformations and sexual revelations. Looking for something that they don't have.

Sagittarius: Mid-life Crisis, need for escape and change. Desperate and searching for meaning. Optimistic because things couldn't get any worse, can't be committed anymore.

Capricorn: Divorced, and alone. Hardened by life and sorrow, keeps everything inside. Saving money and hoarding it for better times. Works themselves to death. Deep unhappiness.

Aquarius: Retirement, acceptance. Trying to make the most out of everything. Never lost their sense of wonder, and educates other. Treasures everything and have lost their inhibitions.

Pisces: Death, the final step. Everything in their life has led up to this moment. Memories, knowledge, gifts, everything lies here. The oldest soul, knowing and comforting.

[snoroscopes]

what I like about each sign

aries: you're all really funny and energetic. you all make me smile.

taurus: you're all cute af. if you are a taurus, pls join my taurean army.

gemini: you're hilarious and witty. and usually pretty damn clever.

cancer: you're cute little crabs and I wanna hug you

leo: you're all loyal and super nice. don't let haters bring you down.

virgo: you're very detailed and notice things I don't. usually smart.

libra: I love you guys so much. I wanna marry a libra js. you're all so lovely and hot like yh.

scorpio: you're so funny. I feel like I can trust you all.

sagittarius: you're crazy and I love it. keep being cool.

capricorn: I like how I can make so many puns outta your name. you're a softie at heart n you know it.

aquarius: you're original and it's super rare to find someone who's like you. I like how you're not clingy.

pisces: you're so caring, no matter what happens. you're shy in a really cute way

[snoroscopes]

Find more here.

[snoroscopes]

dear aries: i need more than you can give me.

dear taurus: you want me to take things as slow as you but I could have been five miles ahead by now.

dear gemini: you leave as fast as you talk.

dear cancer: you wanted me to be happy. you sacrificed yourself to make it happen. i was unhappy because you were.

dear leo: we dug a rut and moved in. you didn't follow me out.

dear virgo: why did love have to be scheduled?

dear libra: i could never understand you.

dear scorpio: in bed, i was the only one that mattered. outside, it was everyone else.

dear sagittarius: you talked so loud you didn't listen.

dear capricorn: i wanted love, not poems.

dear aquarius: why did you have to be drunk to want me?

dear pisces: you wanted my protection so bad that you forgot i needed it too.

[snoroscopes]

So, you know your crushes Venus sign, what do you do next?

(How to appeal to your crushes Venus: use their Venus)

Aries Venus: compete with them, in a cute way. Play games, make bets, go out and do things with them. Show them that you are fun and love a challenge

Taurus Venus: stick around for a while, try to be available. They want to spend time with someone they can rely on.

Gemini Venus: listen to them talk. They have a lot of good things to say and appreciate it when some takes their words to heart

Cancer Venus: let them be protective of you. Show a little weakness. They like someone who is willing to be open.

Leo Venus: ask them questions. They like to be admired. When you show interest, they show interest.

Virgo Venus: do the best you can to be prepared. Admire their work. Compliment them. They like to feel like someone pays attention to their details.

Libra Venus: pamper them. Pay for their meal. Invite them to things often. They want to be taken care of.

Scorpio Venus: this is an intense placement. They often don't understand their feelings, and they need advice, a therapist. Be that rock.

Sagittarius Venus: be down to take risks with them. Drive around with them. Go to random places in the middle of the night with them. Be adventurous together.

Capricorn Venus: they are super bad at realizing their feelings. Make them think about you. It helps to be a little more direct. Flirt, say nice things, answer their questions. Make them realize their feelings.

Aquarius Venus: stand out. Have hobbies. Have goals. They like people who have a lot going for them. Appeal to them by being confident.

Pisces Venus: pay attention to them. Let them know you care. They like people who are in tune with their feelings and give them the time of day. Put yourself in their shoes.

[snoroscopes]

Fire + Water = Canceling each other out. Fire + Air = Compatible. Fire + Earth = Forest Fire. Not good. Fire + Fire = More Fire. Which works.

Water + Fire = Canceling each other out. Water + Air = Hard to find a good common ground. Water + Earth = Support and make up one another Water + Water = More water. Which works.

Air + Fire = Compatible. Air + Earth = Twisters and world disasters. Air + Water = Hard to find good common ground. Air + Air = More Air. Which is good.

Earth + Fire + Forest fire. Not good. Earth + Water = Support and make up one another. Earth + Air = Twisters and world disasters. Earth + Earth = More Earth. Which is good.

[snoroscopes]

The rising sign plays a role in initial attraction between two signs. Mars is the spark that ignites the relationship. Venus is the charm and the long term, once infatuation settles and love kicks in, and the sun and moon are what fuels that love.