shrimps are cool but i am not a shrimp.
when i shrimp over the table for too long, my back starts to hurt.
i stand up on my human legs and stretch my human body every hour.
sometimes i wish i was a shrimp.
I just don’t get it. How can our society act so goddamned normal about seahorses. How can anybody so casually accept that that’s a fish???
This is one of nature’s most anatomically perverse of all beasts. A FISH, like a carp or a bass or a beta is a fish, but it bent its body straight up only to bend its head permanently back down. It stretched its skull into a pipe. It tapered its tail like a lizard, specifically like a chameleon. It can also move its eyes independently by the way, you know, like a chameleon. Fun fact, it can change color to express its mood, like you know whatever does that. It doesn’t properly swim anymore. It buzzes its few remaining fins like an insect’s wings to float itself around at a snail’s pace. It lives its whole life clinging to coral branches or seaweed, which means it decided to become a “tree dweller” in an environment where gravity didn’t even matter anyway. The males get pregnant. They make noises at each other by rubbing some of their neck bones together. Every day, EVERY DAY a mated pair does a little dance and a little neck bone song so they remember which two seahorses they were. They’re a beautiful precious obscenity. Nothing so adorable ever made such a strong case against a logical creator.
They have as little skin and meat as they could get away with. Their skeleton is almost all they are.
"I've made a routine of coming down to the bay to come visit my dear friend. Fish is plentiful here and the angler seems to charm the crayfish with the innards of our bounty, truly a master of the trade, to add, even a storyteller. Keeps me company with tall tales of how he once came from the sea itself until he himself fought with a fellow giller.
"Put up a good fight, he did! Torn me face, me gullet in two! Damn harpy gave me an offer I couldn't refuse! The plunders of flesh that last forever, scavenger no more, he taught me to be a hunter! Taught me everything, ye see? I was swimming in everlasting bounty!"
Hard to say if I believe him however, I wouldn't have believed I if I told the shepherd what I've become. He's generous to feed many mouths, and I cannot thank him enough when he spares a bit of fish for just a measly few coins for the tougher winter days. I almost feel as though...we somewhat understand each other, as farmer and fisher."