Text
They should invent a life that’s structured without being monotonous and challenging without being demanding and eventful without being stressful and peaceful without being boring
34K notes
·
View notes
Text
The inherent conflict of being alive is that your cells just love water. Great stuff for cells. Excellent for transporting things around in, really helps counteract gravity and make that 3rd dimension fully accessible. You as an organism however, want atmosphere. It's got all those awesome gases, like oxygen. Those gases are great! But they're not very good at getting in the water. Lots more of them outside the water.
Now some organisms went ahead and said "well, our cells want to be in the water, we're made of cells, we're staying in the water". And I respect that! Gotta respect that. Lots of 'em stick to the surface, get a little bit of the good gases, but keep themselves nice and watered up (wet) to keep their cells happy. Some make do with whatever cool gases have managed to dissolve into the water, thanks to a process known as "churning that shit up" that happens on the water's surface. Doesn't work out great for them, but you know, they made their decision and they committed to it. You gotta respect that.
Now some organisms, especially a lot of old ones, were afraid of commitment. They hung out at the water's edge, breathing all the gases and shit, but still needed to make sure they could stay wet. Like, their plan was to leave the water, but stay wet. Not a great move, if you ask me. Usually it works, but only until it doesn't. You ever seen dried up moss? Ask it how it's "stay wet but not in water" plan went. It can't answer you. It fucked up. That's what you get for not committing.
Now trees though, trees had the other idea. Trees and some other plants were like, no problem. I'm gonna take my water with me and never ever let it go. They developed specialized cells and shit. They got whole layers dedicated to keeping the water the fuck in. They got other cells dedicated to hunting down any water in a square fuckometer and taking it for themselves. That's hustle. That's a game plan. Some plants got so good at it they saw these dry-ass stretches of land that saw rain less often than you saw your mother smile as a child and were like "okay but is the amount of water not literally zero? Yeah? We're good."
The moving orgisms tried to copy trees, naturally. Making hard outer layers to trap the water in for their cells. But it was pretty weak. They kept going on about needing holes for the moisture to leave, and wet surfaces for their eyeballs. Then some of us got stupid and decided maybe we only needed like a half-decent layer protecting our water. "Semi-permeable" they marketed it as. Oh it's fine they said. We'll live somewhere wet, they said. Yeah how'd that work out for that moss again.
And now I get a headache if I go like 3 hours without drinking a glass of water. I should've been a pine tree.
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
*through gritted teeth* the world is GOOD. people are kind. Humans are NOT inheritly selfish. you will make it through this year. recovery is possible. people you don't know yet will love you. You are going to do things you can't even imagine right now. You are going to read a rlly good book. You are going to eat some rlly good food. You are going to experience joy again. Things can get better. Situations can change. You can choose to be kinder. The world can change for the better.
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!
254K notes
·
View notes
Text
at the fishing tournament yesterday btw there were age categories bc it was all-inclusive and we didn't want like 60 year old anglers competing against 4 years olds obviously.
so anyway this 14 year old boy entered in the 11-15 age bracket and he saw a huge fish in the water he became absolutely determined to catch. i don't think he even wanted to win anymore. he just wanted that fish specifically. but his line wasn't strong enough for such a big fish and didn't have the ideal bait.
enter: two 15 year old boys who didn't know him. they saw what he was trying to do, and they were clearly experienced anglers, and they got involved in the chase. they got the right bait and the three of them spent hours with their lines in the water, until the first boy finally hooked the fish. they talked him through the slow challenge of endurance. he couldn't reel in all at once because the fish was too heavy for his line and it'd break.
he finally reeled it in, but they didn't have a net. it took all three of them, lying on their bellies, six hands on the fish, to pull it out of the water. they put it in a big bucket of water for the weigh-in (we just subtracted the bucket+water weight after), gave their new friend careful instruction on how to handle the fish so he could pose for a hasty photo without injuring its spine, and then carefully placed the fish back in the water.
in the end, he won first place in his age bracket. one of the other boys who helped him tied for second with a 12-year-old competitor, and he gave her the trophy.
then during the drawing, where participants won prizes randomly if I pulled their name from a box, I happened to pull his name and he got a great prize so it all came around.
Idk. the teamwork. the serendipity of friendship. the graciousness. the consideration for the fish. Just some things that made me happy.
16K notes
·
View notes
Text
why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????
368K notes
·
View notes
Text
the secret to organising any kind of trip with your friends is to become the benevolent dictator. do NOT wait for everyone to provide a consensus on things before you book anything. do it and then ask for feedback after. do not ask people what they would like to do just tell them what is happening and let them all nod along like the sheep they are. this is the ONLY way to coordinate a group of adults in their 20s/30s
114K notes
·
View notes
Text
off to have hot gay sex with your mom once again
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
i like the phrases "it's not for me," "it's not my thing," and "i'm not the target audience" because they're the most concise way to express "this thing that you enjoy has merits but idgaf about it" without being aggressive
150K notes
·
View notes
Text
they should make yuri with hype moments. and aura
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
So a white woman today wished me happy canada day, and when I did not respond positively, told me that while she's not much for canada day, she was thankful for her freedoms as a queer/trans person.
I told her "glad you all get freedoms at least"
And it really is 'you all' and not us.
My people's traditional systems of gender and social roles are not recognized. There's no legal recognition for people who are ayahkwêw, iskwêhikan, or înapîkasoht. No understanding of the roles of tastawiyiniwak.
Our traditional styles of relationships, the way that we do "marriage" has no legal protection. Legal marriage takes after european christian marriage. Why are Indigenous unions considered less valid? Why does the occupational government get a say in who I choose to share my life with?
Polyamory was not uncommon among my people. People regularly had multiple partners. You could have multiple spouses. These relationships nowadays have no recognition, no protection.
Children were raised communally. Nowadays most kids are raised without our language. More than 70% of kids in care in Alberta (where I live) are Indigenous. Instead of being raised by the community our kids get stolen off reserve and sent to white families.
People had the right to end relationships at any time. How many women get stuck in abusive marriages because of the high financial cost of divorce? How many Indigenous wives have been murdered by settler husbands before they could leave???
50% of sex trafficking victims in so called canada are Indigenous women and girls. Rates of rape and sexual violence are higher against our women and two spirit people than anyone else. We are just now starting to talk about how many Indigenous girls went from residential school to arranged marriages with white men.
But its great that settlers can have their queer marriages recognized. Happy canada day.
7K notes
·
View notes