soapdish290 - Tumblr blog

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70’s ad for Asbestos

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imagine if you will, a fairly dry survival crafting game in which you live in a bunker and must periodically venture out to scavenge food, set up turrets for attacking monsters, etc

now, your computer inside the bunker has a game-inside-a-game on it which is a charming farming sim of undeniably greater quality and scope than the survival game you're playing. therefore, the object of the game becomes to keep your bunker secure so you can play the farming game more.

now, once you achieve the highest rating in the farming game, a secret shop inside it unlocks, and one of the novelty items you can purchase is a game console, giving you access to games-inside-a-game-inside-a-game. most of the games for it are typical mobile shovelware, but one of them is a highly polished, extremely brutal precision platformer with amazing level design and production values exceeding that of the survival game and farming sim combined.

it is only at this point that the purpose of this entire contrivance becomes clear: to create the most deranged speedrun community the world has ever seen.

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sad they give tissue boxes plastic labia folds but no clitoris

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YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

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I NEED YOU ALL TO UNDERSTAND JUST HOW HARD I LOST MY SHIT ABOUT THIS Because looking at this from Bruce's point of view is really funny, like they're driving on the highway, probably going like 80mph and suddenly there's a KNOCK ON THE WINDOW, you roll it down to see your eldest child on a hang glider who just wants to say hi, where he had to have angled that thing VERY PRECISELY to be able to knock on the window and not scrape those overly large wings on the ground or on the car, but this demon child of yours did it anyway because he thinks it's funny and all of that is very funny. But the real kicker was when I scanned back up to look at Alfred's face and promptly fucking LOST IT.

THAT MAN IS LOOKING IN THE SIDEVIEW MIRROR AND HE HAS TO SEE THIS IDIOT GRANDCHILD OF HIS COMING THIS IS THE FACE OF A MAN WHO SEES THAT HANG GLIDER COMING AND KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT RICHARD GRAYSON IS ABOUT TO DO THIS IS THE FACE OF A MAN WHO HAS SEEN SOME SHIT AND STILL CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT HE'S SEEING AND HE IS SO TIRED DOWN TO HIS VERY BONES LOOK AT HIM, THAT IS THE FACE OF A MAN WHOSE SOUL HAS LEFT HIS BODY, HE DOESN'T EVEN SIGH, HE DOESN'T LET BRUCE KNOW THIS IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN ALFRED JUST JUST LOOKS OVER, SEES THIS HAPPENING, AND DOESN'T SAY A SINGLE FUCKING THING.

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It is November of 1893. You have just killed a vampire. Exhausted and worn, you close your eyes and rest.

You wake up. It is May of 1893. You are on a train en route to Transylvania. Your diary says you have had queer dreams lately.

You try to believe it.

(An old woman puts a rosary in your hands. You accept it without question.)

You are a guest in a castle you have never been in before (you recognize every hallway and know without trying that every door is locked). Your host is a man you have never met before (you killed him you killed him you killed him he had turned to dust and there was blood on the snow).

One morning you cut yourself while shaving.

There is nobody behind you in the pocket mirror’s reflection.

You turn fast, and the razor is like a Kukri knife in your hand.

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put down the chat gpt. consume too much caffeine and nicotine and write a paper that you barely understand while you approach hallucination territory from too little sleep and too much raging. engage with academia in the way god intended

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by @unekoheyhey

source

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no i don’t have plans later. i will, however, be taking extensive poison damage periodically for the foreseeable future. but beyond that my schedule is totally open

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thank you scherz et al. for bringing us the frogs Mini ature, Mini mum and of course, the Mini scule

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This is so wholesome

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My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

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riza and elrics bonding save meeee save me riza and elrics

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happy old gnoll