soc438singleparentfamilies-blog - Tumblr blog

[soc438singleparentfamilies-blog]

Overview of Topic

Single Parents are constantly getting looks of disapproval from individuals who do not even understand that family’s circumstances. This is especially prevalent with single black mothers. While researching this topic I have found that there is very little peer-reviewed research about single LGBTQ+ parents. I hope to shed some light on both the unfortunate side of being a single parent that the general public may say, “that makes sense”, but, I also wanted to show that there are strong single parents out there raising some amazing children. 

I chose this topic because I was raised by a single mother. I had never known my father and my mother refused to talk about him until I was 19. While I relate to a lot of the material I came across, I am also aware that I have risen from my circumstances and it has made me the person I am today. When it comes to the topic of single parents, there is A LOT of racism and sexism involved such as double standards and POC single mothers. I tried to find a mix of pop culture, humor, and seriousness to show that single parents have risen above their circumstances and that there children are still successful, despite what statistics tell them. 

I hope that this tumblr can highlight important aspects that convey how important it is to support single parents. There also seems to be a fetishism of single fathers with the amount of fanfiction I found regarding single fathers, but I could not find the same level of ‘sex appeal’ for single mother fanfictions. When it comes to LGBTQ+ single parents, there is very little content on tumblr that I was able to find. This may be due to incorrect search phrases or that it is not a topic prevalent on tumblr. 

I hope you enjoy! 

[soc438singleparentfamilies-blog]

Haha. Ha. Ha. 

I just read an article about a dad who had to be a parent for a day. 

It was supposed to be funny but it only made me wonder: why do people think it’s adorable and heartwarming to read or watch a video clip of father trying to “fill in” and be a parent?

Like what is so endearing about a society that has held the bar so low for men that when fathers actually try (for a day or long enough for a video or pic) to be a parent, it’s like “oh my god, this is so adorable!”?

Even in commercials, we excuse their inability to parent. Anytime you see a pair of parents, there goes the dad, “Uh-hyuk, oh geez, I dunno honey. I no good at nuthin.”

I mean, what’s the point of having kids with someone who isn’t willing to rise to the occasion on a daily basis and put in the work needed to raise a child?

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How Single-Parent Children Speak About Poverty and Social Exclusion: Policy Implications From a Comparative, Qualitative, Cross-National Project

“For most single-parent families the absent parent is the father. With few exceptions, children in the three countries expressed a strong desire to have contact and a relationship with the absent parent. Though children acknowledge problems in communication and in the relationships they have with the absent parent, they still hope that they can have regular contact with that parent. Where that is not the case, the children clearly express a sense of sadness, disappointment, and even anger.”

Spyrou, Spyros. 2013. “How Single-Parent Children Speak About Poverty and Social Exclusion: Policy Implications From a Comparative, Qualitative, Cross-National Project.” Child & Youth Services 34(1):64–84.

[soc438singleparentfamilies-blog]

Single Mom Buys Billboard To Congratulate Her Son On High School Graduation

This mom is proud of her son, and she’s definitely not afraid to show it.

Aljelani Igwe

, an 18-year-old from Camden, New Jersey, recently graduated from Leap Academy Charter School, 6ABC reported. His mother, Ovella O’Neal, was ecstatic over his achievement, so she decided to buy a billboard showing her pride for her son as a graduation present.

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Today’s featured family! Single gay dad working hard! #daddydaycare. 

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Are they brothers? -- Are they twins?

It typically goes something like this:

Stranger: Awwwww! How CUTE are they!? 

Me: *proud* Yep, they are pretty adorable. They know it too. 

Stranger: *awkward pause* Are they brothers? 

Me: Yep. (It is the simplest answer.)

Stranger: *now staring as if trying to figure out a puzzle* Are they twins? 

Me: They are six months apart. 

Stranger: *looks at me as if I’m six kinds of stupid* Six months?

Me: ….Yep. 

Stranger: Oh. *now looking at me as if I’m some half-brained women who doesn’t understand pregnancy* *super judgemental eyebrow raise*

Me: *sigh* Our adoption dates are in January. 

Stranger: Ohhhhhhhhh. *entire facial expression changes* That is SO WONDERFUL. YOU ARE SUCH A WONDERFUL MOTHER. OH MY GOD. BLESS YOUR HEART. THE WORLD NEEDS MORE PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

Me: -_-;

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The amount of disgusting looks I get with my two boys is horrifying. When I’m out in public and my s/o isn’t around, I present as a young single mother raising two biological children from different fathers, one of mixed race. The general public sneers.They roll their eyes. They stare with concern. The general public’s thoughts are “how terrible, two different fathers and a single mother.”

But, when I’m seen from the lens of being an adoptive mother, strangers verbally sing my praises. 

Here is what I don’t understand; The children are the same. The children are the same beautiful boys. 

Why does one version of my perceived motherhood receive disgust? And then moments later, they suddenly want to throw a party for me?

It is ridiculous. 

The general public needs to appreciate the single mothers out there who are raising their children without help. Not condemn them. 

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Rant over. I’ll end with a shout out of appreciation to single mothers who are doing a stellar job raising their children. 

[soc438singleparentfamilies-blog]

Sex Differences in Parenting Behaviors in Single-Mother and Single-Father Households

“The demographic comparisons between single fathers and single mothers were consistent with previous studies that have suggested that single fathers are advantaged in terms of socioeconomic status (Table 2). Relative to single mothers, single fathers had higher incomes (nearly twice as high as mothers'), were more likely to be White, were slightly older, and were better educated. Children in single-father families had fewer siblings and moved more often than children in single-mother homes but had lived longer at their current residence.”

Dufur, Mikaela J., Nyssa C. Howell, Douglas B. Downey, James W. Ainsworth, and Alice J. Lapray. 2010. “Sex Differences in Parenting Behaviors in Single-Mother and Single-Father Households.” Journal of Marriage and Family 72(5):1092–1106.

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‘50 students at Dade Middle School in Dallas had fathers who couldn’t attend the “breakfast with dads” event at school.

Fearing there would be a shortage of fathers, school leaders took to Facebook. Administrators pleaded with the community for 50 additional men to stand in their place.

“We were asked to help get some extra guys to stand in as surrogate fathers and mentors for the kids whose dad’s couldn’t make it or don’t have a dad in their life,” said Dade SBDM Board President, Donald Parish.

Standing proud on Thursday morning, nearly 600 arrived at the school. They were eager to enjoy the first meal of the day with a student that needed a positive male presence. Men from all walks of life turned out. Regardless of color or creed, Dallas represented well. Dads across the city came out (including men from local law enforcement, public officials and community organizers).

Each man exemplified why positive male presence is essential for children in Dallas, and the greater America. Some men taught students how to tie a tie. One auctioneer taught students how to auction like professionals. Other men provided general guidance and advice.

Teaching, leading, guiding and providing are the natural foundations of a real man.

“Words cannot describe the impact mentoring youth can have on both you and your mentee,”said Jason Rodriguez “Powerful to see a community of fellow men and fathers come together to wrap their arms around our young men. Thank you for having me out,” he added.

Looking to keep real men involved, the school is coordinating more events with the local community for weekly and monthly mentorship opportunities.

“This turnout is a testament to show [what happens] when a school and a community come together,” said Principal Tracie Washington.

This news is heartwarming and encouraging. In the later part of 2017, Former first lady, Michelle Obama asked men to step up. Breakfast is essential to executing daily task. Eating breakfast with dad, can be essential to the life of a child.’

via: The Source

THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN! MUCH RESPECT. 🙏🏽

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Benny Harlem, a California-based artist who has been documenting his and his daughter’s incredible natural hair.

Black Panther Style…✊🏾

Follow @TheColorOfExcel !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+'://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js';fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document, 'script', 'twitter-wjs');

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Single Mothers, Nonresident Fathers, and Preschoolers’ Socioemotional Development: Social Support, Psychological Well-Being, and Parenting Quality

“Instrumental social support was significantly positively correlated with parenting, which in turn was associated with fewer child behavior problems. The lack of significant associations between the father presence variables and the quality of the mothers’ parenting in the home environment was unexpected but might be explained by the significant positive association between instrumental support (which includes help also from nonresident fathers among the significant others) and parenting quality. As expected, however, significant associations were obtained between depressive symptoms, parenting stress, and parenting quality, respectively, and problem behaviors. “

Jackson, Aurora P., Kathleen S. J. Preston, and Crystal A. Thomas. 2013. “Single Mothers, Nonresident Fathers, and Preschoolers’ Socioemotional Development: Social Support, Psychological Well-Being, and Parenting Quality.” Journal of Social Service Research 39(1):129–40. 

[soc438singleparentfamilies-blog]

Attitudes Toward Never-Married Single Mothers and Fathers: Does Gender Matter?

“In the current study we explored differential attitudes and beliefs about never-married custodial single mothers and fathers. The findings suggest that never-married custodial single mothers were viewed less positively than never-married custodial single fathers. One possible explanation for the differences is related to gender role stereotypes about women and men. Based on these stereotypes, never-married single mothers are viewed negatively, while never-married single fathers are assumed to be going “above and beyond” to care for their children and, thus, are viewed more positively. Our findings could also be related to the negative societal beliefs people hold about women who have children out of wedlock. This study highlights the importance of considering the gender of the single parent when researching and providing therapy services to this population.” 

Dejean, Sarah L., Christi R. Mcgeorge, and Thomas Stone Carlson. 2011. “Attitudes Toward Never-Married Single Mothers and Fathers: Does Gender Matter?” Journal of Feminist Family Therapy24(2):121–38.

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My Brother’s Husband tells the story of Yaichi, a single father raising his daughter, and Mike Flanagan, a Canadian man who was married to Yaichi’s twin brother Ryoji. Mike travels unannounced to Japan after his husband’s recent passing. Yaichi must face his deceased twin’s sexuality and overcome his own preconceptions, and Mike learns what caused the brothers to drift apart.

The manga by Gengoroh Tagame will debut as a TV drama on NHK’s BS Premium in March 2018 and will star Ryuta Sato as Yaichi and former sumo wrestler Baruto Kaito as Mike.

Read more here: kotaku.com and Wikipedia.

[soc438singleparentfamilies-blog]

How to be a rocking single mom

This is a minimalist guide for rocking single motherhood.

1) Think that it’s temporary: No one is a single mom to the rest of their lives, because guess what, children grow! 

2) Don’t spend your time grieving about some alternate reality: instead, make the best of your current reality. This IS your life so make it a happy one. Laugh, cry, talk, dance. What could’ve been did not happen, but you have a whole future ahead of you and your children, and that story is yours to write.

3) In direct contrast with (2) above, cry: Cry when you’re tired, when you’re angry, when you’re frustrated, when you’re disappointed, when you’re sad, when you’re missing someone. Get it out of your system whenever you need to, because you don’t want that in your system. You want hope and love. Always.

4) No matter how you became a single mom, do not let people put you down for it, ever! People love to criticize and never look in the mirror. You and your children are a family. A happy family. Say that again: A happy family!

5) Spend a lot of quality time with your children: Always think about how they will remember their childhood. Are you making good memories for them now to take into their adulthood? Cuddle them, laugh with them, talk to them, cook for them, take them out, always. Even if it is your daily stroll around the block, do it. Find your happy routine and do it. 

6) Routine: Make sure it’s a good one. Even if you work until three in the morning, your children are smart and resilient. If they see a happy and present parent come home to them, they will accept your situation.

7) Have a paycheck: Always, you need that. Don’t ever spend money that you do not have. Oh, and don’t feel resentful of mothers who don’t have to work. Well, unless they’re awful nagging entitled leeches then it’s O.K. to feel that ;). But then you’d still hate these types of people even if you were not a single mom.  

8) Spend a lot of outdoors time with your children: the playground, the park, the lake, the river, the trails, the slopes or whatever it is that is outside. Children love it, it’s a great way to exhaust them, and you get to chat with other adults and meet future friends.  Win win always. 

9) Have close and supportive friends. Even if it’s only one friend, they’re great. Friends also have the extra advantage of talking sanity to you when you’re losing it.

10) Dream: that you and your children will be O.K., fine, great! Don’t ever stop dreaming, and working for your dreams. 

This is life and all of us have our trials. We’re lucky that our trial is a blessing, in the form of our healthy and happy children. Make sure that whatever it is you’re doing now, many years from now, you, and your children, can look back at it, and say, “We’ve done it!”. 

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Growing up with a single mother and life satisfaction in adulthood: A test of mediating and moderating factors

“Growing up with a single mother was further related to the participants’ own SES in adulthood including employment status, occupational prestige, and net income. This association exhibited evidence of a dose-response relationship: individuals who spent their first 15 years living with a single mother reported lower SES in adulthood than individuals who spent between 1 and 14 years living with a single mother, who again were lower than their counterparts who lived with both parents throughout childhood, controlling for their childhood SES..”

Richter, David and Sakari Lemola. 2017. “Growing up with a Single Mother and Life Satisfaction in Adulthood: A Test of Mediating and Moderating Factors.” Plos One 12(6).

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The double standards of single parents

oh