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Guayaki Yerba Mate - sparkling grapefruit ginger

So for those who know me personally, you might know this drink has kind of been my white whale. They are apparently all over the place in the states, being a Walmart and whole foods staple, and my American friends really like them.

They are not readily available here tho. I took a bus all the way out of the city to a Walmart to look for one and couldn't find it. They're not on Walmart's website for my country and Amazon is constantly out of stock of them even if I wanted to import a giant crate of them to my house. I checked all the stores where you normally find foreign sodas and this one just isn't there.

Then I got a text from my friend this week who told me they'd found them in a tiny drink fridge at an imported spice shack in the market downtown and bought a couple of them for us to try when we met up for the eclipse.

Apparently these aren't the same ones my friends get in the USA. The ones that are hyped are the tall boy cans which are non carbonated and, from what I can tell, don't contain stevia. I got the smaller sparkling cans which have different flavours and do contain stevia.

I'll be honest, this won't be a great review, I cracked this can open during the solar eclipse and didn't process how I felt about it because I was mesmerized by the beautiful of the world. The ginger taste was really good, it gave a good kick of energy, the caffeine content must have been high because between that, the cold from the sun disappearing, and my stimulants my extremities became so numb from vasoconstriction I couldn't open the beer Id brought. The downside is really the stevia, I just don't like stevia that much, but there isn't a lot in here so it wasn't like a huge deal.

My friend got the cranberry flavour which I didn't like as much, the ginger is definitely better. There's an original flavour still in my minifridge I might have at work this week. Will update the review accordingly if I have anything to say about it

It was definitely one of the better energy drinks I've had, I will be getting it again if I can find it, but it wasn't like the ratatouille moment I was expecting given how much trouble I've gone thru to get it. Hopefully I'll be able to find the tallboy cans one day and mint melon won't be just a dream anymore.

Solid B. Hope everyone enjoyed the celestial miracle!

[sodajerking]

soooo today i learned that back in the early 90s, coca cola tried making this thing called “ok soda” as a marketing stunt to beat out pepsi since they had way more of a hold on the “younger/rebellious” generation at the time, and their way of doing that was naming it “ok soda” so that they could copyright the word “ok”, the most popular word in the world, and at the same time brand it as an…ironic soda??? like the whole thing with it was that they tried to brand ok soda as a counterculture soda but instead of making it about typical 90s RADICAL EXTREME!!! fodder the theme of it was uh. unsettling capitalist brutalist dystopia. instead of being bright and colorful the color scheme was only stark whites, grays and reds and the cans looked like this. bold shapes and labels stating ominous, robotic things with a figure always staring dead into you on the front, no coca cola branding on it at all.

sometimes there would be “prize cans” of this stuff where instead of having soda inside it there would be hats. and they didn’t sell this option in boxes by the way they just put prize cans in random vending machines. and put like 25 cents in it so hey. you could get an actual soda that isn’t just hats. maybe.

did i mention that this soda also had a fucking MANIFESTO??? because yeah it sure had that printed on some cans and it goes as follows

and there’s these things called “coincidences”, which… yeah it doesn’t make it sound any less ominous

and you might be wondering how the soda itself tastes like does it taste good? ok? well apparently it was just a regular “citric” tasting soda but somehow they fucked it up so bad that it was compared to “carbonated tree sap”, and instead of trying to make the drink taste better they included that it tasted like shit, INTO THE ADVERTISING SCHEME ITSELF. they would literally advertise that it tasted like ass as a part of the ironic marketing, no i am not kidding.

but if you thought that’s where it ended there’s one more curveball and without any exaggeration, you will not expect what i am about to tell you.

take a look at this guy.

this guy is the “face” of ok soda, as in he was printed on the most cans and technically served as a mascot of sorts for the entire thing. his face was a major part of the branding, and this design for the cans was one of if not the most common.

okay. cool. no issue there right?

take a guess on who this guy is based off of.

the artist’s coworker? a generic guy? the artist himself? a relative? some random reference model they hired?

CHARLES MANSON. YES, THIS IS REAL. MEANING FOR A BRIEF MOMENT IN TIME, CHARLES MANSON’S FACE WAS USED AS A MEANS TO SELL COCA COLA.

the lead artist himself has even come forward to say this is the case. and now you may be asking wait. how’d he do this? how’d he possibly get away with this, years after the crimes had been committed?

well according to him, it was simple. apparently none of the contracts he signed said anything against putting a mass murderer on the can. so. there’s THAT.

unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, ok soda never really caught on since *surprise surprise!* teens really don’t want to buy soda that looks like a brutalist art museum, and it never had a wide release so it was only a thing for like two years between 1993 and 1995. but from what i’ve heard there’s still people who are giving this soda a small modern following, collecting all the cans and merchandise and even coming up with stand in recipes for the soda formula itself.

so yeah! that was ok soda.

what the fuck

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[sodajerking]

Follow up: OKF black sugar milk tea

Okay so I was saying like, this product would probably work better if they just didn't try to put boba in it and I guess I spoke that into existence cuz I found these on the same shelf as that Evergreen swill at the grocery story today on my way to try and see dune 2 (unsuccessful attempt, went to the mall instead).

It's decent, very strong brown sugar taste, not too artificial. Perhaps a bit sweet for me. It's definitely not as good as anything I've had at a proper boba store but it's leagues better than the Evergreen.

If they start selling taro flavoured ones I'd probably buy these again but I dunno if I would get this flavour again so it's C tier for me.

Evergreen Canned bubble tea

I wanna preface this by saying, I do think it's bad form to review something I haven't drank recently but I have been complaining abt these for months and I absolutely refuse to buy another one just for the sake of my own integrity. I hope you'll forgive me.

This review is very simple. Keen eyed viewers may have already realized the problem with these. If you haven't yet, let me break it down for you:

You all know how to drink from a can don't you? You open it, a satisfying hiss, a crack as you pull back on the tab, you bring the cold metal to your lips and you take a deep, delicate, swig, throat bobbing as you swallow (is it getting hot in here?)

But boba are solids, aren't they? Denser than liquid, they sink to the bottom of the beverage, do they not? They must be sucked silly up through a bigass straw, that's the principle, isn't it?

So guess what happens, when you buy a tall can of bubble tea and drink that delicious purple ichor, tilting the can higher and higher to plumb at its depths, the unusual weight of it in your hands the only warning you have for what is about to happen next, when a mass of boba stuck on the bottom tumbles forth to completely fuck your whole shit up.

And before you give me this bullshit of "use a straw" I need you to understand that these are full sized boba, ie they require special sized bigass straws which they don't carry at the random ass convenience stores selling these things. Unless you happen to be carrying a Boba straw around with you, there's no way to get at them. So no, you can't just use a straw.

Also the boba themselves are by far the worst boba I've ever had. They're very hard to chew, completely flavoureless; they're just gross. And I like boba for the record I have a very high tolerance for a wide variety of gummy/gelatin textures. Like i really could review gummies as well but I'm trying to stay focused here.

F tier. This is a failed product made by idiots.

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I'm sincerely very interested in food science but a lot of it is frustratingly industry secrets. Like i would do anything to talk to the food chemists at Lays China I have to know what they're doing to glutamates to make the beef wellington Lays taste like they have a distinct meat and pastry component to them. But they're not gonna share that with us any time soon.

Something I've remarked lately is that when a beverage says it's "white peach flavoured" as opposed to just peach flavoured, that usually implies they're using sucralose/aspartame. Aritifial peach doesn't really taste anything like peach anyways, it just kind tastes a vibe of peach so I have a theory that like, whatever they use as peach flavoring just doesnt achieve the "peach vibe" as well when you do it without sugar.

But that's just something I'm wondering. I wanna try and find a sugar free peach drink that isn't "white peach" to test this theory.

[sodajerking]

Something I've remarked lately is that when a beverage says it's "white peach flavoured" as opposed to just peach flavoured, that usually implies they're using sucralose/aspartame. Aritifial peach doesn't really taste anything like peach anyways, it just kind tastes a vibe of peach so I have a theory that like, whatever they use as peach flavoring just doesnt achieve the "peach vibe" as well when you do it without sugar.

But that's just something I'm wondering. I wanna try and find a sugar free peach drink that isn't "white peach" to test this theory.

[sodajerking]

you drank the boba so we didn’t have to, thank you for your sacrifice o7

I need you to understand I bought the canned boba months before I even had the idea for this blog. It's not sacrifice i have been pursuing unusual beverages since I was a child, even if I know they will be bad. call it foolishness if you want, call it passion, but for me seeing canned boba on the shelf and thinking "that looks stupid" and then bringing it to the checkout is as natural as breathing.

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Hard agree about canned bubble teas, so many brands over here keep trying to fool people into thinking they can make it work but the technology just! Isn't! There! Yet! It's like the Theranos of beverages. There's a brand here that does the popping boba version in a non-milk tea - I find it slightly less offensive because I have qualms about canned milk drinks, but its also not great as the weird little alginate skins are thicker than if you get them fresh from a boba place, presumably so they're less fragile. But a lot of them pop anyway so sometimes you just get a mouthful of oversweet tea with a bunch of limp empty skins in it, like drinking a bunch of contact lenses in juice.

Anyway as a committed bobahead, certified #ballsucker, the dream of shelf- stable bubble tea is several years away. Would love to hear your thoughts on the San Pelly G soft drinks, their pomegranate + orange one with the little tinfoil hat is my number one carbonated drink.

The tech won't really ever be there unless they figure out how to integrate straws into the can unfortunately. And the world is becoming increasingly hostile to straws. That said where I live the bubble tea flows like water from round every bend so there's really no reason to get it from a can anyways

Regarding canned milk, my dear friend was voicing similar concerns earlier this night. Most canned dairy tends to use like milk powder which has been pasteurized and had all its moisture boiled off and, honestly is probably less susceptible to bacteria than like, canned vegetables are. They use the same kind of shelf stable milk powder in most regular boba so I'd imagine canned boba is probably even more like contained on account of the canning process. But I find aversions to milk products tend to be more psychological. I've been working to rid myself of illogical mental hangups towards foods but we all have our limits. Milk isn't one of mine, eggs are, but lactose occasionally gives me trouble.

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if you ever find yourself in the Midwestern US, I'd highly recommend finding a Swig soda shop. I had the misfortune of living in Utah for a few months and when my sister was helping me move out she asked to try something from there. I got some kind of raspberry and coconut cream doctor pepper concoction that was so heavily sweetened you could not taste anything but sugar and seemed to be comprised mostly of chunks of coconut cream. truly one of the worst memories of my time there and I was actively being convinced I was delusional by the person I lived with at the time and their friends so that says a lot. you'd love it, I think.

Intriguing. For I had believed that Chicago was located in this fabled "mid west" however no swig soda shop appears to be located there, unfortunate as I had intended to make my way cross the border there this fall.

That said it appears there's a few in Texas and I might also be in Texas at some point. Something to consider.

[sodajerking]

Evergreen Canned bubble tea

I wanna preface this by saying, I do think it's bad form to review something I haven't drank recently but I have been complaining abt these for months and I absolutely refuse to buy another one just for the sake of my own integrity. I hope you'll forgive me.

This review is very simple. Keen eyed viewers may have already realized the problem with these. If you haven't yet, let me break it down for you:

You all know how to drink from a can don't you? You open it, a satisfying hiss, a crack as you pull back on the tab, you bring the cold metal to your lips and you take a deep, delicate, swig, throat bobbing as you swallow (is it getting hot in here?)

But boba are solids, aren't they? Denser than liquid, they sink to the bottom of the beverage, do they not? They must be sucked silly up through a bigass straw, that's the principle, isn't it?

So guess what happens, when you buy a tall can of bubble tea and drink that delicious purple ichor, tilting the can higher and higher to plumb at its depths, the unusual weight of it in your hands the only warning you have for what is about to happen next, when a mass of boba stuck on the bottom tumbles forth to completely fuck your whole shit up.

And before you give me this bullshit of "use a straw" I need you to understand that these are full sized boba, ie they require special sized bigass straws which they don't carry at the random ass convenience stores selling these things. Unless you happen to be carrying a Boba straw around with you, there's no way to get at them. So no, you can't just use a straw.

Also the boba themselves are by far the worst boba I've ever had. They're very hard to chew, completely flavoureless; they're just gross. And I like boba for the record I have a very high tolerance for a wide variety of gummy/gelatin textures. Like i really could review gummies as well but I'm trying to stay focused here.

F tier. This is a failed product made by idiots.

[sodajerking]

as a big carbonated water drinker, i'd love ur thoughts on La Croix, Bubly, Waterloo, Spindrift, and AHA- if you've tried any of those. I'd also like your thoughts on traditional sparkling water- (I'm using traditional loosely, pretty much any brand that isn't trying to chase the La Croix hype- Perrier, Polar, S. Pellegrino come to mind) Also, even though it isn't strictly a soda, persay- I'm interested in your thoughts on Hint drinks, if you've ever had them. I really liked them as a kid, but it's basically just bottled spa water, and you can go to any old second rate hotel if you want the same flavor profile.

Shameful as this is to admit, my minifridge is full of bubly at all times. As far as grocery store sparkling waters go I think bubly has the most flavour with the least artificial taste and it's pretty cheap (6$ for a pack of 12) so yeah I like it a lot. I usually get the peach (as admitted before I'm a sucker for good peach). The melon one is decent as well and I get the lime one for guests. When I'm at the lesbian salon and the cute they/shes ask me what bubly I want I usually get strawberry because I think it makes me look adorable ^-^

Regarding other sparkling water, I think a lot of it might be region locked; I've never Waterloo or spindrift and Lacroix– I think I had the coconut one like once when I visited the USA but this was before I was sparkling water pilled. I recall it being kinda weak flavourwise but I'm not sure if that was like, just because I was only drinking sodas at the time. Aha i haven't had in a while, the flavour options they have haven't really appealed to me but I've definitely had them before.

Perrier and San Pellegrino are okay, I have a fondness for SP because their sodas are decent. Perrier makes a really decent low sugar energy drink as well. Montpellier is decent as well, type of shit my parents buy.

I also used to get a lot of the blue menu/PC brand sparkling waters but they weren't that much cheaper than bubly and like, the box they come in doesn't fit in my lil cart as well.

Never had hint drinks but I'm curious. Might try some if they cross my path.

But yeah despite the cringe Association with Michael buble the bubly sparkling waters are good.

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Have you tried Milkis? It's sorta like a carbonated Calpico. I had to get used to it but I like the melon flavor (there's a peach as well)

Oh yes I have. I mention them in my review actually. I used to get the melon one a lot when I was in highschool. I don't get them as much now cuz lactose is mean to me!

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Calpico white peach

Just a quick one. I was in t&t mart looking for a different beverage (tba) and saw one of these which were suggested to me by @annoyingalchemist so I figured I'd give it a try.

They're actually under the umbrella of Asahi who make my favorite Japanese lager as well as my favorite shelf stable iced coffee (highly recommended my yours truly)

I've seen these around but never thought to try them because they're usually next to milkis which are a similar product (dry milk/lactic acid containing soda) that are smaller and carbonated which I prefer.

I tried the peach one because peaches make me giggle and squee ☺️

It wasn't bad. The milk gives it a creaminess and there's a stronger yakult-y sourness to it compared to milkis but I've had stronger yakult beverages before and I found the sourness lacking slightly. The peach flavour was also quite artificial tasting; I didn't see aspartame on the ingredients list but it's that kind of flavour which I wasn't a fan of.

That said it was refreshing. I'm willing to consider that maybe I was setting myself up for a more artificial tasting experience when I went for the peach so I think I will try some of the other flavours, although I likely will not make any new post about them unless i have a lot to say.

Solid C+

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Whoops ehehe I didn't realize that I had asks turned off MY BAD!

[sodajerking]

Wonka candy can "sparkling Caramel fudge"

I won't be pulling my punches here. Circle K is selling these absolutely foul candy flavoured SUGAR FREE sodas.

I bought this after enjoying a delightful romp at the local museum, fully expecting it to taste like shit but curious as to how they were going to make something taste like caramel without using glucose.

I guess the answer should be obvious. It tastes like artificial caramel with the most potent, tongue coating, head poundingly disgusting aspartame aftertaste. It was a chore to drink, each sip felt more arduous than swimming through mud.

The back of the can says made in the Netherlands which makes sense actually cuz only the dutch could be responsible for something this perverse.

They have other flavours. I won't be trying them.

F tier

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Why are you telling people to kill themselves?

Because they are ruining my diet pepsi experience