sodasletterrs

[sodasletterrs]

revival of this account soon ..

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a lil’ dallas winston sketch (+ a bat)

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Soda having a mental crisis because he isn't "pretty enough" and he thinks people won't like him anymore 😁

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japanese american paul holden lore that beamed itself into in my brain as soon as ryo made his debut

his mom: Kimi Takahashi, born in 1921, grew up on a farm in Fresno. 

his dad: Frank Horikawa, born in 1919, grew up in LA and graduated college around six months before america entered world war ii

both Kimi and Frank are the children of Japanese immigrants (part of the Nisei generation)

Frank grows up as this all-American city boy and doesn’t speak much Japanese while Kimi is a little more connected to her roots. 

they meet in 1942 after Executive Order 9066 is issued and they are forcibly relocated to the Japanese American incarceration camp in Rohwer, Arkansas

they get married in camp in early 1945 (a few months before the camps start to close down)

Frank americanizes their last name to “Holden” shortly after leaving Rohwer and Kimi starts going by “Kim” at his request

Paul is born in 1947 shortly after his parents resettle in Tulsa

Kim wanted to give paul a japanese first name (i am leaning toward Isamu) but his dad refused

Frank is very much trying to distance himself and his family from their heritage in an attempt to fit in and provide his wife and child the best life he can

Kimi was closer to her heritage growing up and has a more positive relationship with her ethnicity but reluctantly follows her husband’s example because it’s the 40s/50s/60s and she is playing the role of the devoted housewife

(this is a story about generational trauma!!)

but like. Paul is very much the all-american boy. he is a star football player and he gets good grades and his dad’s a self-made businessman and his mom’s the perfect housewife and yet he feels so different from his peers in a way he’s never quite felt able to acknowledge

in 1960 there were 749 Japanese families in the entire state of oklahoma and “the number of Asian residents [in oklahoma] did not increase dramatically until the 1970s,” so Paul is this all-american boy who grows up very isolated from people who look like him, and growing up, the very few other asian people who he is aware of (notably Two-bit’s family) are on the other side of the class divide

but like, he is very much a Soc and is definitely accepted in that group of almost entirely white kids (myth of the model minority and everything) but there is still this otherness about him that makes him feel very isolated

and i think he does find himself kind of jealous of someone like Two-bit who doesn’t seem to be trying to blend in and who is fine with existing as he is. but Paul’s dad is very much using assimilation into american society to deal with the trauma of the wwii era and paul is raised on that principle

i don’t really want to play into the stereotype of the strict Asian parent, but i do think that Paul’s dad sets these very high expectations for him as a defense mechanism/an attempt to force his family into the status of the “model minority.” As a successful and wealthy Japanese American businessman in 1960s Oklahoma, he has to be twice as perfect to be taken as seriously as a white man, and he wants his son to be successful, too, so he drills that message into Paul’s head from a pretty early age.

and i think that probably fucks Paul up a little. for years he doesn’t really get why his dad’s expectations are so high and he feels like he’s never going to be good enough and he is a teenage boy in the 60s so he doesn’t know how to like. express an emotion and his feelings of inadequacy come out as resentment and anger that is often directed towards his dad

Paul grows up not knowing about the incarceration and how/where his parents met but his mom very casually mentions something about it when he’s around 15-16 and he’s like ??? and so she explains some stuff to him and he is understandably shocked and above all pretty pissed at his dad for keeping this huge thing from him for so long

so that night he and Darry get drunk together and he starts off just being like “FUCK my dad fr” but then he kind of like actually talks about his relationship with his race and his heritage for the first time

(i wrote a fic about this you can read it here!)

his dynamic with Darry is like. they are both jealous of each other in this very abstract way because neither one of them feels like they belong anywhere but there is also something extremely homoerotic about it. they kind of allow themselves to be more soft and open with each other and it’s clear they have a bond that none of the other Soc boys share

I think after Paul finds out about his parents’ past (and after he sleeps off the ensuing hangover) he goes snooping and finds a box of old photos and stuff from their time in Arkansas and there’s this photograph from their wedding and they are clearly in this like kind of rundown recreation center/high school gym-type space and their clothes are nothing fancy but they look more in love than he’s ever seen them and it’s this really surreal experience that makes him feel a little sick so he puts the box back and pretends he never saw it

when he and Darry stop being friends he loses the only person he’s ever been able to talk to about the things that matter and he becomes pretty closed off emotionally and doesn’t really allow himself to feel anything real and tries twice as hard to assimilate 

Joining the other Soc boys in jumping greasers and wreaking general havoc is kind of a coping mechanism for the debilitating anger that he is constantly feeling but it’s also an unsuccessful attempt to fit in with these all-American boys

He tries so so hard to fit in and never really feels like he belongs, especially after he and Darry stop being friends

idk there is just something so purposeful about the choice to have a Japanese American actor portray this character and i think there’s so fucking much to explore within that choice <3

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hey y’all!! i have a tiktok now too :3 i’ll be posting on here and there so check me out if you wanna see more stuff from me!!

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sorry for the extended break y’all .. i’m back in business (slowly) and today i offer you shitposts.. tomorrow? who knows

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Y'all ever think about how scared Sodapop must have been watching Darry constantly stress about the bills and keeping Ponyboy safe?

Do you ever think about how Sodapop probably watched his older brother, the weight of the world on Darry's shoulders, and thought I couldn't do that.

Imagine Sodapop watching Ponyboy sleep and worrying, the fear of losing Darry and having to be the one to take care of their kid brother keeping him awake. Sodapop being so afraid of having to be the one in charge of things, of having to be the one paying all the bills and keeping Ponyboy safe. Imagine Sodapop staring at his checks from the DX and all he can think is it isn't enough, not now and certainly not if they lost Darry. Sure he helps but doing it alone? The thought is terrifying.

Imagine him watching Ponyboy and Darry fight and wondering if Ponyboy would fight with him like that if they lost Darry the way they did their mom and dad.

Imagine Sodapop being so terrified of losing his big brother because he knows he just couldn't do it alone.

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how I see Steve x Evie

I love drawing Evie so much you have no idea

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lunchtime after soda dropped out

Idk in my head this was funny but lookin at it now, it’s kinda angsty, huh?

anyhow, I like to think that after the events of the book, Steve and Two-Bit hang out with Ponyboy at school more- Two-Bit because he and Pony get along well and Steve because it’s what Soda would do. I hc that Steve doesn’t have a ton of school friends anyhow, so while he acts like he’s hanging with Pony just for Pony’s sake, a part of him kinda does like the company. Still, it’s not the same as Soda.

(I didn’t draw Two-Bit because I figured he actually does have a lotta friends and doesn’t rely on Sodapop being there lol. Maybe he’s on a date w/ Marcia or something idk)

(Also look I drew a car!! I heavily relied on reference images lol. Gave Steve a late 40s(?) Chevy Styleline, because that seemed like a common enough car that was outdated enough to belong to someone who doesn’t have a whole lotta money to spend on cars. Kinda projecting here ‘cuz I drive a shitty 20 year old Hyundai, and if I don’t get the mustang of my dreams then neither does Steve Randle. ‘Course I’d also kill for a 40s styleline, so really Steve’s doing better than I am either way lol)

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pictures shared by victor from his soda debut!

(first is from throwing in the towel & second is from soda’s letter)

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fun reminder that “grease got a hold” and “runs in the family” both have the exact same instrumental introduction, but “grease got a hold” is built up with a bunch of different instruments but “runs in the family” only has what sounds like three instruments doing the same intro 🥲

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this is where i come in.. ive been this truther for a while (if anyone is gen interested ill drop stuff)

Unfortunate Soda really is a middle child™️. Even the fandom is like “he’s hot and funny” and don’t talk about all his issues or look very into him.

Not to say it doesn’t happen or he’s completely ignored, and I’m happy Darry is getting a new appreciation but where’s Soda’s essays and dotting? Djsnsmsm

[sodasletterrs]

Pinned post of Palestinian fundraisers that have reached out to me and been vetted!!

updated as of august 16th

@mohammedaldeeb and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@ahmed-ziad and the go fund me!

vetted here by nabulsi

@ahmedalnabeeh11 and the go fund me!

vetted here by el-shab-hussein

@ghadasaftawi and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@m0hammed1 and the go fund me!

vetted here by ibtisams

@ahmedkhabil and the go fund me!

vetted here as #163 and here as #79

@save-mohamed-family and the go fund me!

vetted here as #192

@monashamali and the go fund me!

vetted here by nabulsi

@ahmedabuyamin and the go fund me!

vetted here by sar-soor

@olagaza and the go fund me!

vetted here as #205 and here by 90-ghost

@ashraf-family2 and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@hayanahed and the go fund me!

vetted here as #26 and here as #249

@yazanfamilly and the go fund me!

vetted here by mohammedalanqer and here by northgazaupdates

@save-salem-family2 and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@doaabassel95 and the go fund me!

other people said they were vetted by apollos-olives but I could find a link

@anqar and the go fund me!

vetted here by el-shab-hussein and here by 90-ghost

@mahmoud0hilles and the go fund me!

vetted here as #198

@wafaaresh and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@noor-alanqar and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@abdalhadiaburas and the go fund me!

vetted here by mohammedalanqer and here by sneakerdoodle

@osamathaers-blog and the go fund me!

vetted here by sar-soor

@asmaayyad and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@abuadamfamily and the go fund me!

This is the family of mohammedalanqer

@doaaomar1234 and the go fund me

vetted here by 90-ghost

@hashemsh92 and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@amlanqar and the go fund me!

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@falestine-yousef and the go fund me

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@saveyouseffamily and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost and the butterfly effect project as #406

@fidaa-family2 and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@mohiy-gaza and the go fund me

vetted here by ana-bananaya

@mahaahmad11 and the go fund me

vetted here as #163 on el-shab-hussein and nabulsi and #79 on the butterfly effect project

@esraayyad14 and the go fund me

vetted here by 90-ghost

@fedao and the go fund me

vetted here by 90-ghost

@bisanalbalawi18 and the go fund me!

vetted here by 90-ghost

@leen-gaza and the go fund me

vetted here by 90-ghost

Unvetted accounts that have reached out:

@m7meds and the go fund me!

@ahmadresh and the go fund me!

@jody-family and the go fund me!

@mohalwadiya and the go fund me!

@rehamalanqar and the go fund me!

@d-imtthal and the go fund me!

@ehabayyad23 and the go fund me!

@rem096 and the go fund me!

@omargaze and the go fund me!

@bood-gaza2 and the go fund me!

@danaghaith and the go fund me

@ezzaldeens-blog and their go fund me

[sodasletterrs]

it gets worse

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I WAS THE PERSON PONYBOY WAS PEACE SIGNING AT WITH THE PHOTO!!!!

This video is NAWT good for my mental health

🎥: @/faif.lynn

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every time i see a new clip of brody sky holding hands my mind is infested with qprpbj thoughts and i actually feel nauseous rn

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you’ve seen Steve x Soda and Steve x Evie…but here I propose steviepop! aka “Steve has two hands”

(also look at my Evie design!)

anyhow a bit ago I typed up a fic about them on ao3, so if ya like this painting and wanna see my exploration of the dynamic, check it out! it’s linked under the cut

(and @jamandjazz you’re also one of my favorite people on here fyi! here’s the soda x steve x evie as promised lol)