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Check, Please! Junior Year #19 - Keagster back«  start  »next

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Check, Please & Ngozi will be at Anime Expo 2017! JULY 1ST-4TH, 2017 |  Table i-52

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The drinks at the Falcs Family BBQ were very strong and there are so many people who need to know about Eric Richard Bittle.

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eric bittle + text posts 

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tater goes around telling everyone he and bitty are “friends with benefits”… the benefits being all the pies he gets. no one’s sure if tater knows what that means or if he’s just being cheeky, but no one wants to be the one to bring it up

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when nursey was rlly little he thought he was a Geography Prodigy bc his dad is actually rlly good at geography and his dad would always ask him geography questions like “what is the capital of ohio?” and at first nursey wouldn’t know but then his dad would say “i’ll give you a hint, it’s where the columbus blue jackets play,” and nursey would be like “oh it’s columbus!!!!!” and his dad would be like “yes!!!! you’re so smart, my genius son!!!! how did you even know that???” and whenever nursey looks back at it now he laughs and texts his dad “remember when you tricked me into thinking i was a geography genius?”

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PLEASE talk about the kind of shit Bitty and Tater would get up to without Jack or someone more level-headed there to restrain them.

lisTEN Tater and Bitty have like, not a single impulse control between the two. Oftentimes people get fooled by Bitty’s politeness, need for a clean kitchen, and preference for people not to spit on the ground (LOOKING AT YOU, NURSEY, YOU GROSS COLLEGE BOY) and think, this is a reasonable and level headed young man! they are wrong. 

Tater: B! What if I get huge soda bottles, big ones, and shake them. 

Bitty: D: that makes it go flat though, do you not like the fizz?

Tater: *shakes his head* No, no. I strap them onto me and shake them and then BOOM! I fly. 

Bitty: Hmm, I don’t think so…

Tater: :((((((

Bitty: You’re too gosh darn heavy! Strap it on me! 

Tater: :DDDDDDDD

Tater: B! B! Guess what!

Bitty: I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?

Tater: *shows a picture* new motorcycle! I see it, I like it, now it’s mine!

Bitty: *fans himself really hard because he LOVES those bikes* oh dear

Tater: You one of my best friend. First person I ask to ride with me. 

Bitty: Mister Tater! I am delighted and honored! 

And then they proceed to ride the motorcycle WITHOUT A HELMET until they get pulled over by a cop, and tater’s telling the story to the team later and jack hyperventilates because HIS BOYFRIEND WAS ON A MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT A HELMET.

One day jack walks into the kitchen to find Tater with tears streaming down his very red face as Bitty feeds him pieces of what looks like mini pie and asking “how about this? is this spicy enough?” 

“I’m feel dying and my soul return to heaven. Not enough. Do more.” 

Tater: What I’m be for Halloween? Has to be sexy. 

Bitty: Haha what about a stripper

They look at each other and an electrical moment passes between them

Tater: I’m go shave my legs now!!! 

Bitty: Yes you do that and I’m going online right NOW to find the perfect costume!!! 

Tater: WHY THIS RAZOR SO SHARP??

Bitty: here let me shave you! 

And then when Tater’s practicing his routine, he routinely asks Bitty whether it’s sexy enough. He’s not doing it very close to Bitty (bc Bitty’s personal space expands when there’s stripping involved by ppl other than jack)

Tater: Weird to ask Jack, you know. He my teammate.

Bitty: I completely understand, and oh dear this is making me blush! *giggles* 

Tater: *performs another body roll*

Bitty: *giggles* 

That one time Bitty went to the hospital because Tater thought it would be a funny prank to empty out a windex bottle and pour blue gatorade in it so Bitty can shock everyone, but someone accidentally switched the bottle so Bitty drank a mouthful of actual windex. 

I feel like Tater’s like the one person who finally convinced Bitty to try weed? Like in the sense that Tater’s never tried it because the fear of his parents is strong, and Bitty’s only had contact high before and never bothered with actually trying it himself. And Tater is curious bc it seems like a lot of the college athletes are high and he wants to try! And Bitty because oh well, if you want to try it I’ll do it too! 

They chose a time during the off season, so that Tater won’t get in trouble. And Bitty makes the most delicious weed brownies in existence. And then Tater promptly forgets that they’re weed brownies and eat wayyyy too much and Bitty’s too high to deal with him and Jack comes home to two grown men giggling over his couch. (Tater’s okay, bitty made sure not to bake too much.) 

That one time Tater wrenched his shoulder dabbing with Bitty on the ice. 

When Bitty was super drunk and Tater handed him a banana and Bitty deepthroated it in front of everyone and then promptly choked and almost died. 

That time they were lighting fireworks with their bare hands and didn’t get injured at ALL. 

Georgia had to give a little talk to Jack about how tater and bitty should never be left alone, and maybe Jack can thirdwheel some of their hangouts a little bit more?

Jack: I’m the one dating Bitty, you know. 

Georgia: He’s an amazing person, but I also need his friendship with Tater to change into something less life threatening. 

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Shitty: Dad, look, it's the good kush!

Bob Zimmermann: this is the dollar store, how good can it be?

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Chowder: Of course Bitty's going to be captain!

Nursey: Yeah man, I'm totally voting for him.

Whiskey: Doesn't he seem too soft to be captain?

Chowder: Whiskey, my man!! My tadpole!! If you don't vote for Bitty and he doesn't become captain, and this goes for every single one of you tiny human beings, I will make it my mission to destroy your life.

Chowder: Anyway who wants some leftover pie that Bitty made for us because he's perfect and deserves to be captain?

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Things Chowder loves: hockey, Faber, SMH (all tied for first)

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A quick sketch of a freshly-drafted Alexei Mashkov, trying his darnedest to answer press questions in English. That haircut!

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Tater: *hates on Kent Parson* Bitty:

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Tater: Is your girlfriend bringing food?

Jack: I'm gay

Tater:

Tater: Is your boyfriend bringing food?

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SO MANY THINGS ABOUT THIS UPDATE!!!!!!

-Bitty being SO NERVOUS about everything and obsessing over the pie. “But there’s still a slice of this maple-sugar-crusted apple pie so THEY HATE ME.” BITS PLEASE.

- JACK’S TEAMMATES BEING SUPPORTIVE. ESPECIALLY MARTY AND THRIDY JUST HAVING JACKS BACK

-TATER BEING SO CHILL ABOUT IT BUT ALSO BEING HILARIOUS “secret? why? who cares? he’s one making all the nook pies?” TATER JUST WANTS HIS PIE OK? HE DOESN’T CARE WHO MAKES IT

- Snowy in a snapback. thats all.

- TATER CALLING BITTY ‘B’ 

- Tater and Bitty’s adorable heartfelt conversation, finding out tater’s parents were pretty well known, finding out he feels a lot of the sAME PRESSURE JACK FEELS. TATER, BITTY, JACK BONDING SESH RIGHT THERE.

- TATER AND BITTY BITCHING ABOUT PARSON. MY. GOD. “Parson. Yech.” “He’s some piece of work in’he?” “Next time? Throw him across ice.” LIKE TATER, CHILL. (we already know you have a huge crush on him. ok?)

- “And the shower joke on the bus.” lemme tell u a thing it’s a good thing jack didn’t name names with that because I would have gone into the Samwell universe and throttled whoever said that MYSELF. I WANT TO CRY OK???

- “One day you’re a rook, the next you’re haulin’ kids” JACK AND BITTY WITH KIDS. J A C K + B I T T Y + K I D S

- JACKS ALARMED LOOKIN FACE WHEN HE SEES BITTY GONNA TRY TO LIFT TATER. #CONCERNEDBOYFRIEND

- MARTY AND THIRDY JUST FINDING #CONCERNEDBOYFRIEND FRICKEN HILARIOUS

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW. I’D LIKE TO THANK NOT ONLY GOD, BUT NGOZI.

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This part is just so fucking sweet oh my god

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tater: calls bitty ‘b’ me: 

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TATER BACKSTORY I’M HOLLERING

FIGURE SKATER MOM + HOCKEY STAR DAD HOLY SHIT IDK IF I’VE SEEN ANY HEADCANON/FIC ABOUT TATER W THIS PREMISE???? IF IT EXISTS I EXPECT LINKS/RECEIPTS THANK

ALSO HE’S CLOSE TO JACK BC THEY HAVE SIMILAR BACKGROUNDS??? i’M crYING THESE GIANT BOYS

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This isn’t news but I would give my life for Alexei Mashkov