softxsorrows - Tumblr blog

[softxsorrows]

My Adventures in Highschool

1) Student to teacher: why does Jackson look like he's going to a golf tournament?

Teacher: because he's Jackson

2) Student: Mrs. S guess what!

Teacher: You won the lottery and you're gonna use the money to pay off my student loans?

3) Student to friend: Maybe I should just become a stripper

4) student: If you won't grab his titty I will

5) me to Jewish friend: Hi jew

Student 2: Hi non jew

6) student to friends: If you buy me food I will suck your dick or titty. I don't swing that way, but food is food.

7) Student 1: Why is he taking so long to use the bathroom?

Me: maybe he fell in the toilet

Teacher: Dont say that that actually happened

8) Student to friend: Dude why did you take your pants off

9) me: Consider this Tomfoolery because my name is tom and you have been fooled

10) black student jokingly to friends: Bro are you a porch monkey or yard ape?

I used to be a porch monkey but I got in trouble and they put me back out in the field

11) Student 1: why is she crying?

Me: Jerome showed her a video of someone blending up a live goldfish

Student 1: oh well my friend showed me a video of someone flushing a dead squirrel he found down the toilet

Student crying: *squeals and cries more*

Me: MICHEAL!

12) Teacher: Mind my language but this is bullshit

Student: FUCK YEA!

Teacher: HEY!

13) Teacher: This one time at band camp- haha just kidding

14) student: oh hell

Teacher: dont say that

Student: why cant I say it it's in the bible

15) student: everything has sugar in it

Teacher: No?

Student: your clothes I can guarantee have sugar in it

Teacher: .....

16) student: I've been gone for two days and my football coach called my parents to ask if I moved

17) student 1: are you ok?

Student 2: dude I dont know

18) teacher: Why are you wearing slippers?

Student: why do we do anything?

19) student: I hate coming here because my dog misses me

20) student 1: do you have the homework

Student 2: there was homework?

Student 1: yes Dave I texted you about it this morning

Student 2: Oh...

21) student to teacher: I like your shirt

Teacher: dont tell me how to live my life

22) Teacher: so the homework fo-

Student: *pterodactyl yawn*

Teacher: *concerned and flustered look*

23) teacher to student: how did you come back with chips and soda when you asked to go to the bathroom?

24) student: that's a damn cockroach

Teacher: I'm sending you to guidance you need help

25) me: I'm gonna choke you

Friend: a girl did that to me once

Me: no not in the friendly way

Friend: well that wasnt very friendly of her either though

26) teacher to student: you were my friend now you're my student now you're being fake

27) student to friend: I heard they put steroids in the school water fountains

28) student: the bathroom sink attacked me

29) student 1: bro the teacher gave us a lecture it was so boring

Student 2, sarcastically: whaaaat no way bro really? How dare she do her job like that.

30) student 1: how are you?

Student 2: no

31) *student walking past our classroom after bell rings* "I dont want to do the work todaaaay~"

32) student: "Wait we're getting new students? Are they from another country?"

Me: "No, Jackson, from another planet"

Other student: "Why you always gotta ask some stupid shit?"

33) teacher: sit down please

Me standing up 5 seconds before the bell rings: why?

Teacher: I will give you detention if you dont sit down and wait for the be-

*bell rings*

Me: *leisurely walking out class with everyone* it's really not that deep Mrs D.

34) teacher: "Give me your phone"

Me sitting in a class full or people also on their phone

Me: "Not to be disrespectful but you dont pay this phone bill, so no. And you're not about to single me out like this"

Teacher: "you're right I dont I dont even pay my own phone bill. Do you need me to call admin to come get it for you?" *walking over calling admin before I can even answer

Me: *Visibly pissed* No dont waste you're breath I'll go down there myself.

[softxsorrows]

Lol I love how another character is considered "bullshit"

‪It’s Monday!‬

[softxsorrows]

You know you have relationship issues with your father when you tell him "just because you dont like mozzarella sticks doesnt mean they aren't any more of a real food then fried mushrooms" and he says "Don't get an attitude" and leaves the Logan's roadhouse for a smoke

[softxsorrows]

oh my god??

[softxsorrows]

BABY-

shark loaf looks scared

[softxsorrows]

"So who's the bad guy?"

Me

[softxsorrows]

Desktop Goose is a fun little app which unleashes a mischievous goose on your desktop!

Read More & Play The Alpha, Free (Windows)

[softxsorrows]

"O h

N o "

I am SCREAMING

[softxsorrows]

Nice try magical mind bending cabbage but society won't fall because I have this epitaph from Abraham Lincoln's tombstone to put an end to your quell. Swallow this maniac!

prompt 1115

You must use all of these words in your story: 

cabbage society nice try epitaph swallow mind-bending magical quell If you don’t know what they mean look them up! We think this one’ll be fun :)

[softxsorrows]

:( this is a whole mood ):

No, man, this can’t be because Jason’s gone, Tahani’s off doing her thing, and I’m not ready to go, so if you leave, then I’m alone here.

[softxsorrows]

DOBBY NO!!

Twin Soul is a very freaky near-photorealistic Eastern European horror game where your apartment block is overrun by flesh-eating monsters that look like kids.

Read More & Play The Alpha Demo, Free (Windows)