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shoutout to the time in 2021 I was having scary seizurelike episodes that sent me to the neurologist, after having barely slept all week due to being a nervous wreck over my symptoms and shit.
when I sat down to describe what I was going through to the (young, very soft spoken) phys assistant taking my notes I started audibly almost crying . The whole time he’s furiously working on a tablet thing that I assumed he was writing my symptoms down on
in the midst of me having a mild nervous breakdown during my monologue he slowly turns the tablet to me after closing whatever program he had open and just fuckin stare-smiles at me all placidly til I notice the wallpaper the laptop is set to— a lovingly decorated collage of Lord Farquaad from Shrek
once I noticed I stopped dead in my tracks and we sat there staring at another for a solid minute til I broke down wheeze laughing, upon which he picked up the tablet and scurried off wordlessly. I just sat there dumbfounded til the doc showed up. 10/10 doctor experience ngl
I didn’t own a phone at the time to get any proof so this my best artistic recreation

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you have to understand that i once worked at a lab with a walk-in freezer set at all times to -30 degrees (-34 C) and one summer we had a horrendous heatwave and i had to bike to work every day and i didn't want to spend the first hour of work drenched in sweat, still trying to catch my breath and cool off.
well one day the first thing i had to do in the morning was grab some samples from the -30, and i walked in and all of the sweat on my body basically flash-freezed and it felt so good. i cooled down in 20 seconds.
so from then on every single day when i got to work i just walked into the freezer and stood there for a minute.
i was usually the first in so nobody noticed for a few weeks until one day i walked in, panting from my bike ride on an unusually hot day, too breathless to talk, and one of my coworkers was there early and he started talking to me but I just wheezed an apology and put my finger up to say "one moment" and I walked into the freezer and then a minute later I came back out totally recovered and I said "sorry! : ) what were you saying?"
and he said
"how long have you been doing that?"
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i don’t need a “day off” or a “weekend” i need to respawn in a clean apartment with all my responsibilities reset and the complete certainty that nobody hates me
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my white boy named tanner who stands behind me and says "facts" called out today just fucking great 🙄
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it's funny because my job involves a lot of using a box cutter, so you'd think that's the thing I'd accidentally hurt myself with the most
but nooo no no no. the box cutter is my colleague, my ally, my friend. you know what is truly bloodthirsty in a print & signage shop? literally Anything Else that's able to cut but not supposed to. cardboard, sheets of plastic, the humble paper of course, corrugated polypropylene, aluminum composite sheets - i nicked myself on a sheet of magnetic material today?? it bled. kinda profusely.
basically:
box cutter: a trusty companion, might hurt you if you handle it wrong, but that's understandable
stuff you use the box cutter on: they know you as their enemy. they know the rules of this life: kill, or be killed. they know what they have to do.
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i think fiction should be abolished. if yo uwrite about a character dying you should be put on trial in real life for murder
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How it feels to be autistic and work customer service
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