sokhataitheiriq - Tumblr blog

[sokhataitheiriq]

Gorgeous commission of Sokhatai and Dalyn (@ff14vamir) from Katzeko on Artists&Clients!

https://artistsnclients.com/people/Katzeko

Wonderful artist, very responsive! Made the first commission I ordered quite anxiety free.

[sokhataitheiriq]

TRAP (Terrific Raiding as Planned) downing Titan Savage just before patch. Been together through a lot of ups and downs and still remained a team. You are a real great group of people and I appreciate every one of you! Thank you.

L-R: Caelrin Morra, Sauron Dumbledore, Sokhatai Iriq (as Dalyn,) Dalyn Vamir (As Sokhatai,) Akh Morn, Energy Drain, Teiou Agato (as the floor tank,) and Nicome Bureiku (front.)

Tagging the only two people who have tumblr on our team >_>

@sokhataitheiriq and @s-udarshana

[sokhataitheiriq]

Why people get trapped by Emotional Abusers & Why it’s not their fault

(these apply to platonic and romantic relationships)

1. Attachment

The Emotional Abuser gives you attention: they make you feel flattered, loved and important. You start to believe that they genuinely care about you. They might even think that they do by themselves since they internally justify all their doings. Normally this kind of attachment would lead to a healthy bonding and a closer relationship. With the Emotional Abuser it leads to some levels of addiction and dependency on the victim’s part which is never their fault. Emotional Abuser’s behaviour exploits normal emotional bonding to another human being.

2. Guilt

In some point in the relationship you notice that it’s all about their needs. The Abuser might do something that hurts your feelings and bringing it up leads them to reason why it’s actually your fault and why you have to take responsibility for it. They make up convincing excuses why it’s not their job to do it, why it’s absolutely unreasonable of you to ask for it and so on. In other words: they Guilt-trip you. The Emotional Abuser believes they have no responsibility for their behaviour or feelings. If they feel uncomfortable by something in the relationship they will manipulate you to take the blame instead of trying to work things out. Guilt-tripping makes the victim submit and erodes their sense of emotional and physical boundaries since they are made to believe it’s their job to cater on Abuser’s needs.

3. Cognitive dissonance

After the idealization pace the Emotional Abuser will move to a devaluing pace. Catering to their needs is not enough any more and you feel you can’t do anything right no matter what you do. The pace starts when the Abuser feels you are getting emotionally too close and/or you are trying to hold them accountable for something they have done. Emotional Abusers are afraid of responsibility and in some cases intimacy so they will try to push you away. They use manipulation: Gaslighting and Guilt-tripping to force you into silence and to take all the responsibility for the relationship. They give you Silent Treatment which is justified by some clever excuses. Emotional Abusers believe they are entitled to absolute emotional comfort even when it means abusing other people.

Because you remember how well they used to treat you, your mind has a hard time accepting they are not the person you thought they were. In fact you might start to make excuses for them in your head because they have manipulated you into thinking nothing is their fault. It is extremely difficult to get away from the Abuser’s emotional trap because they take advantage of the victim’s emotional bonding to them and give false hope that the relationship could be “fixed”. You are misled into thinking that if you just learn not to be so “needy” and “selfish”, the Abuser will reward you with the loving behaviour they demonstrated in the beginning.

Aftermath

The Emotional Abuser has no intention to take responsibility for what their abusive behaviour has caused you because they have normalized and justified it in their head. Not all of the Abusers are so sure of themselves but need a lot of internal convincing and validation from others so that they can feel good about themselves which is their goal: not having to deal with responsibility or emotional labour. After all Emotional Abusers are not Disney villains but people who are so selfish that they lack of motivation to learn how to not hurt people.

There are two ways how the trap can break: the victim quits all contact with the Abuser or the Abuser leaves the victim. The latter one occurs if the Emotional Abuser feels they have to deal with too much because of the victim. The Abuser might feel threatened by the victim if the victim is making the Abuser feel bad about themself by calling out their abusive behaviour. The Emotional Abuser thinks that they are actually the victim in the relationship because the real Victim is making them feel bad and scared. The Abuser is genuinely afraid that they would have to deal with negative emotions that taking responsibility would require.

In the end the Emotional Abuser ends the relationship with some dramatic note in which they project all their feelings into the victim: you are the abuser, you have harmed them, you have threatened them. This is their way of securing their own emotional well-being as they refuse to acknowledge the reality. Just remember that it was NOT your fault and you are not responsible for their horrible behaviour. While mutually harmful and violent relationships can exist abusive relationships are based on a power imbalance and therefore there is no such a thing as “mutually abusive”. You are nothing like your abuser.

[sokhataitheiriq]

Not his usual weapon, but it serves him just as well as a pair of daggers.

[sokhataitheiriq]

Blood. Mad blood. A blood so strange and feral replaced the one I had.

Osip Mandelstam, tr. by Bernard Meares, from “Transfixed,” c. 1936 (via weltenwellen)

[sokhataitheiriq]

even surrounded by flowers, that face. ANGST.

Dancer LB3 pastel and bright filters; base game gpose.

[sokhataitheiriq]

Ft. the even prettier hyur @ff14vamir

Eureka is a pretty place.

Ft. a pretty lizard @sokhataitheiriq

[sokhataitheiriq]

It was exactly what I was hoping for when I joined this game during Stormblood when it comes to content and the experiences that came with. Thanks for the energy and humor you add to the group, my dude. Looking forward to 5.0.

30 Day ShB Countdown Challenge

9. A memory from the past year in FFXIV :  O12S Clear - May 2019

For someone who’s been working so hard at savages with a casual static for the past entire year of my time on FFXIV, to finally get a clear on the final boss of a raid tier - as well as put it on farm - is something I’ll never forget, nor all the struggles, laughs, and frustrations shared with my friends on the journey. Here’s to 5.0, and Eden Savage!

[sokhataitheiriq]

timely appreciation of us. Such wonderful screenshots.

“And in that moment, I knew nothing else. Just. You.”

“This isn’t for me, I thought. Not mine but, here I am.”

[sokhataitheiriq]

yes indeed

[sokhataitheiriq]

[sokhataitheiriq]

Yeah I can play this game too!

@ff14vamir

Take... take that.

Find someone as sleepy as you.

Coexhaust.

[sokhataitheiriq]

“My head is the room and the room’s full of broken glass….

You can’t change me, can you save me?

I’m a cynic, I told you, I don’t believe..

Can you save me?”

[sokhataitheiriq]

The ice broke, the last stone fell, and my heart caught fire.

Alexander Blok, tr. by Boris Jakim, from Poems of Sophia; “I Waited Long,” (via violentwavesofemotion)

[sokhataitheiriq]

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope…I have loved none but you.

Jane Austen, Persuasion (via the-book-diaries)

[sokhataitheiriq]

the raid leader that isn’t there

WE CLEARED 011S TODAY YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Thank you Agato, Sokhatai, Dalyn ( @ff14vamir), Sauron, Caelrin ( @s-udarshana ), Nicome and Dawn!

Screenshots: @s-udarshana

[sokhataitheiriq]

Very pleased with this piece of art, as that’s exactly what it is!

Huh? Late to the party? I don’t understand. Surely this was only just posted.

Blog activity? Haven’t heard of it. Sorry, followers.

Fantastic art commission done by @oneveryhornyunicorn for me and my friend (who puts up with my stupid humor daily, I’m sorry!)

I was after mood something fierce in this idea I had and they captured it at every perfect angle. They were fantastic to work with, had great communication and was just an all around great person :) Highly recommend!

Dalyn = ME

Sokhatai Iriq = @sokhataitheiriq