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bi slut pigeon

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cupping my hands together in the shower over my tummy letting them fill with water and spill over pretending i'm a beautifully detailed statue fountain in sicily that was modeled after the sculptor's wife that tragically passed and he considers it his greatest loss and he never remarried and wept while thinking about her every night until he died and an eclectic, sort of geeky and awkward art history student just finished his final about me in which he said that several historians consider me the most beautiful statue fountain in the world, and while that is true, he's also been obsessed with me since he saw a picture of me in a library book when he was young and i'm part of the reason for his taste in women as an adult and he's going to use the college fund money he secretly put away to go to sicily with his girlfriend to come see me because i was the art piece that made her feel beautiful and finally comfortable in her own skin after years of feeling unloved because i look just like her (she is also hopelessly in love with me) and he gently caresses the wedding ring in his pocket smiling gently glancing over at her glowing face as she makes eye contact with me and finally feels like everything is going to be okay. then i get shampoo. in my eye

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You are either going to the bathroom with me or going to the bathroom against me

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exercising my active listening by sending 👀👀 in the group chat

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A little obsessed with Jesus Christ Superstar right now. Here, have another Tim Minchin as Judas!

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Happy belated Easter everyone! I hope you had a nice holiday if you celebrated. This may just become a new tradition every year. I watched "Jesus Christ Superstar" twice this weekend, and I wanted to do another piece because I have Ben Forster and Tim Minchin on the brain.

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your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

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all the "x with mama" posts are getting to me i just drew a butch girl with her mom (who is also butch) and thought "let's look like men with mama"

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This is the funniest tweet I’ve ever seen.

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loaf with mama

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yay water

time to drink water woo hoo yay

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see daroga. pleased.

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10/10 dad joke

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I think London Greaseball and Bochum Greaseball are brother/sister. Been meaning to draw that for months.

Also Hydrogen's dads are Flat Top and Dustin.

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Today my wife texted me this, and then immediately called me to make sure I got it because it was “an urgent message”.

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