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What do you mean Neil Cicieregia popularized the saying “what if the world was made of pudding?” Why is he everywhere? He is so ingrained in internet history I fear if I peel back my phone screen he will be there staring back at me. He did Harry Potter puppet pals, lemon demon, a jeopardy gimmick account, one of the first viral videos, music for gravity falls, one of his source links on Wikipedia just leads to amazon.com so I’m choosing to believe that means he’s Jeff bezos

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One time I was planning a D&D session in the shower and when I stepped out I slipped and hit my head on the ground I lay there thinking “man what an absolutely contrived plot point, this isn’t interesting at all.” It took me five minutes of laying there to realize that was real life and in fact not D&D and I only realized that because I thought “man it’s going to be so embarrassing if someone opens the door and sees me laying half naked on the floor of a public bathroom” that thought gave me enough bodily control to pull myself off the floor grab my supplies and run back to my room before passing back out on the carpet then I got charged $500 for an ambulance I didn’t end up taking, the paramedics asked me the standard concussion questions like “what’s your name” and “what’s your address” and “who is the president” but I’m trans and this happened right after I moved and I genuinely forgot who Joe Biden was so I failed yet they still let me walk back to my house through the snow alone and promptly fall asleep in front of the fridge and I think that is a pretty good summary of American healthcare

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I’ve been thinking about a jukebox musical of indie online artists and here is my proposal

Platonic best friend bg hunter - Robert practices and records himself in his mirror confessing his love to his best friend Molly and fails over and over panicking

Robert makes up his mind and decides to just get it over with and finds Molly breaking up with her boyfriend of the week

Sad Boys Dazey and the Scouts - Molly laments to the audience how she is done with men after being disappointed by another sad boy and how she feels she is always trying to fix broken people

Molly finds Robert and both tell the other they want to come clean about something they decide to say it at the same time, Robert confesses his love and Molly comes out as a lesbian. After Molly misunderstands his statement she thinks he is proposing to be a beard couple because she assumes he’s gay based on how feminine he is

She wants me to be loved The Happy Fitz - Robert panicked decides to go along with it thinking being in a false relationship is better than losing her

The two go on fake dates, show all their friends and the audience learns Molly’s parents are incredibly conservative and want her to be a stay at home mom. The pair discuss adopting a child

Isle To Thy Self Miracle Music- the pair have a quick makeshift wedding, Robert trying to make it the best day possible while Molly disassociates

Time skip to several years later, they have a house and an adopted child, Alice.

My Alcoholic Friends The Dresden Dolls - now that’s she’s married Molly feels she can sleep around, drink and have fun yet still feels wrong. She feels as if she’s trying to fill a hole in her heart but is scared of commitment

Robert accidentally walks in on Molly making out with a woman in their shared bed after Molly never showed up to a family picnic

Well better than the alternative Will Wood - Robert breaks down realizing he is so much more miserable now and feels as though he wasted his life on some one who doesn’t care at all about him and tries to figure out why Molly can seemingly love anyone who isn’t him

Robert functions as basically a single parent to Alice as Molly is to focused on hedonism and having fun. Alice refers to Robert as her mom rather than her dad since he has taken on the role of a mother while Molly works

Verbatim Mother Mother - upon having trans thoughts on this Robert leans hard into masculinity and tries to justify his desire to be a woman as a normal part of being a man

Molly feels incredibly sad and empty and goes through old recordings of times when she felt better and accidentally finds the old recording of Robert practicing confessing his love to her

Pisces Tears Penelope Scott - Molly feels betrayed and lied to, She feels as though another man in her life let her down and decides to confront Robert

Molly yells at Robert and begs him to tell her this is an elaborate practical joke

Partner in Crime Madilyn Mei - Robert chooses to tell her how he feels and reveals everything to Molly’s chagrin

Molly kicks him out into the snow because she’d rather be a single mother than force Alice to live with a traitor

Loretta Topline Addicts - Molly sings a ballad expressing her want to be loved and creates an imaginary love

One Big Beautiful sound - Robert gets drunk and argues with Molly over the phone before collapsing in the snow and getting severe hypothermia

In the hospital Molly realizes how much Alice and Robert care for each other, Alice calls Robert mom and he tells Molly about his trans thoughts, Molly decides to let him come back and tries to convince him to live as his true self. That’s as far as I’ve gotten idk what happens next, hope you liked reading

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Bug hunters new song got my dads seal of approval (his name is Steve)

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OH GOD WHY WOULDNYOU DO THIS????? WITH AN ENERGY DRINK????? Please don’t die

Here is a litwtc drinking game you can play if you have a death wish:

Take a sip everytime one host cannot figure out how to yes and the others joke

Take a a sip if someone asks “did we answer the question?”

Take a sip everytime they talk about how long they have been recording

Take a big sip if Will goes on a seven minute or longer tangent which is about one specific writing quirk in a question

Take a sip if Chris says something Will doesn’t like

Take a big sip if Chris tries to come up with a joke but instead talks about infidelity

Finish your drink if Will mentions his doctor

Finish your drink if Chris farts

Feel free to add on!

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Yall I genuinely don’t know what it is doing here? I wasn’t joking

“I know it’s a bit cringe but…” I say before I bare my heart to you, tell you about every bone in my body show you my intestines and label every inch of sinew

I place my heart in your hands barricaded my a rib cage of self reflection and wait for you to crush it

This post is about… HOLY SHIT IS THAT A HORSE???? POST CANCELLED THERE IS A HORSE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW????? WHAT THE HELL? HOW DID IT GET HERE?

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“I know it’s a bit cringe but…” I say before I bare my heart to you, tell you about every bone in my body show you my intestines and label every inch of sinew

I place my heart in your hands barricaded my a rib cage of self reflection and wait for you to crush it

This post is about… HOLY SHIT IS THAT A HORSE???? POST CANCELLED THERE IS A HORSE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW????? WHAT THE HELL? HOW DID IT GET HERE?

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Eight year old trying to find a sleeping position in a car be like

rediscovered car seat headrest and it was 80 degrees today maybe life isnt awful and miserable

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@accidental-will-wood-reference

This might be a stretch

dandelions deserve more respect than they get

you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”

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New topline addict songs!!!! I KNOW YOUR WRONG DONT YOU CARRY ON!!!!!!

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There is a difference between accessibility (disability) and accessibility (common man) I wrote a 20 page essay on this, basically sometimes things just aren’t made for you artists don’t have to make there art for you the fact they are making art to begin with is already a gift sometimes you just have to nod and say “thank you” sometimes art is cruel and imperfect but you don’t need to like it

I want someone to make one of these new sterile teen gay romance shows on Netflix but halfway through they pull a Doki Doki Literature Club and it turns into a fucked up fourth wall breaking psychological thriller that deconstructs the heteronormative and middle class ideals of the genre

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The magnus archives understands my claustrophobia in a way no other person or concept has, see I’m not scared of small spaces but rather the inability to escape. I could be stuck in the world’s largest space but if I can’t leave that’s when I get freaked out. I actually do really well with small spaces like cupboards and closets and I’m fine with being in them for long periods of time but if I hear a lock click that’s when I can’t handle it. That is why I am an avatar of the vast. Also cuz the ocean is scary :(

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While we are remaking everyone’s favorite movies but now less problematic can we do grease? I mean it’s perfect for this it has amazing music and everyone is a little nostalgic for it except how creepy several parts are

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Yall I have a confession I haven’t listened to the new jam mechanics episode yet, because Bug’s song on the last episode about photos inspired me so much I wrote a song and have been obsessing over it for almost a month and it might be the best song I’ve ever written

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Period app warning me of my inevitable downfall like a Greek chorus

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OMG HES CHEATING ON US WITH EACHOTHER!? That player!!!! :/

Join me in beating him up outside of Denny’s?

Will Wood just texted me this picture

This isn’t a joke this actually just happened